Once your divorce has been finalized, a section in your Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage (ie. your “divorce decree”), likely awarded possession of the marital home to one of you (or none of you and sold). In the event you are the party leaving, starting out fresh can be an overwhelming, and emotional task. Most divorce attorneys will provide some helpful tips for moving on once completed. Moving into a new house after divorce is one of the biggest changes.
Take Your Time Post-Divorce
The first thing to do is to breathe. Take the time to process the emotions you may be feeling. It is perfectly normal to feel sad, and angry. After all, moving into a new house after divorce is big step to starting the next chapter in your life and it shouldn’t be rushed. Allow yourself time to feel those emotions, but then put them aside and move on. No good will come in dwelling in the past, you have a new home to create.
Remember a house is just a structure, it becomes a home when there is love, memories, and laughter. You can (and should) create that again in your new house after divorce. If your ex will be remaining in the house, don’t feel obligated to go inside during pick up and drop off of kids (if you have them). Be aware of your emotional health, and if somewhere down the line you feel comfortable entering the house again, that is fine – but probably not ever necessary.
Creating Your New House After Divorce
Take it one day at a time. Don’t expect your new living situation to feel immediately like the home you had. Building a home took time, and it will take time to create your new space as well. It’s not going to be your old house so don’t expect it to be. Get help from friends or family members if decorating isn’t your niche (Pinterest is a great place to start even if you’re not crafty!). Create a space for yourself and/or your children (if you have kids) that is comfortable while you give yourself time to heal. Your new residence is likely not going to be your “dream house” or your “forever house.” It will be your “right now house,” and that is perfectly fine.
Have Fun Creating Your New House After Divorce
A lot of things in life are out of your control. But attitude and what you do are under your personal control. So, make it fun! If you have kids, take them with you to pick out bedding and décor for their bedrooms. If money is tight, repurposing old furniture can be a fun way to involve your kids in hands on projects, as well as keep your mind occupied in periods of down time. Add plants and start small if your thumbs are purple instead of green. Succulents require very little maintenance and do well indoors with artificial light. Plants can do wonders for your mental health (it’s true!). Speaking of light, get out in the sun! The sun is a great, natural way to get vitamin D, something many of us are lacking anyways.
Next Steps
Divorce brings with it a myriad of new experiences and challenges, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Use this time to learn about yourself, figure out what you like, and what you want in new house after divorce. If you never had a chance to create your man cave or lady’s lounge, now you can! Use this time to focus on you and make your new house your own. Good luck!
Is it normal for one person to keep the house to themselves and then agree to sell the house a couple years later when the last child graduates school and moves out to college? I want to stay in the house and our youngest daughter is a junior, so only a year and a half left of high school I don’t want to move her before that.