Last Updated on August 11, 2023 @ 8:30 am

Child being withheld from a scheduled visitation time with a parent.

A child visitation agreement or parenting plan, stipulates the amount of time that a child spends with each parent. In most states, this is referred to as one of the following: a Parenting Plan, a Custody Agreement, or an Allocation Judgment. Whether parents are married or not, they discuss and begin exercising their visitation and parenting time rights as soon as they part ways. If visitation and parenting time has been established but one parent does not follow the court order that is in place, the other parent needs to take action immediately. Speaking to a child custody attorney when this happens is incredibly important as navigating the court system to have an order enforced by a judge (by filing a contempt petition) is one difficult, even for lawyers that lack years of experience.

Establishing a Parenting Plan / Visitation Agreement

Establishing a visitation agreement or parenting plan is essential when it comes to making concrete plans that the other party cannot violate. A parenting plan lays out all of the various rights and responsibilities of each parent in writing and is entered and signed by a judge. The parenting plan will include and detail various child-related issues such as:

  • Parenting time (dates and times when each parent has the children for their visitation period);
  • Custody order (whether joint custody, sole custody, or shared custody is awarded to the parents – also called allocation of parental responsibilities or decision making);
  • Each parents rights to attend school functions and extracurricular activities;
  • Each parents rights related to attendance at and decision making regarding medical conditions or doctor appointments;
  • Holiday and vacation schedule (typically, the parents alternate holidays with one parent having some in odd years and then having those holidays in even years);
  • Vacation parenting time (possibly awarding each parent 2-3 non-consecutive weeks of vacation over the summer);
  • Communications, such as daily Facetime or phone calls with the kids as well as how the parents should communicate (such as via text, phone call, email, or a parenting app like Our Family Wizard); and
  • Many other issues that relate to the child’s upbringing like education, transportation, passports, etc.

When parenting time (child visitation) has officially been established in writing by way of a parenting plan and court order, it serves as a legal agreement to which each parent is bound. Most states require that parents that either want to change something within the court order or believe a parent has violated the court order follow a process, depending on what specifically was violated (and why it was violated). Depending on whether the violation of the existing court order (parenting plan / custody judgment / visitation agreement) is a minor violation or a big violation, the process and what needs to be done are very different.

Minor Violations or Requested Changes to Parenting Plan

Typically, if a parent wants to change the parenting plan and/or if there is a “minor violation” of the court order (parenting plan), the courts will require them to first discuss with the other parent (in writing) the proposed change and initiate a discussion. If the parties disagree on the change (or the minor violation), the parties likely are supposed to attempt to have the dispute mediated with a jointly chosen mediator. If the mediator cannot solve the issue and find agreement, the next step is to go to court and file a motion or petition asking for the court to decide the issue at hand.

The “minor violations” here are exactly that – minor – such as discussing a simple change in the court ordered pick-up and drop-off schedule because of a change in work hours that might be causing a parent to drop the child off late. This can be addressed by making an agreed parenting schedule change. Big violations, on the other hand, are treated much differently than this though. A big violation would be things like refusing to let a child and the other parent have their phone or video calls, not dropping the child off for the other parents visitation and parenting time to start, and refusing to allow the other parent to pick up the child to begin their parenting time in violation of the visitation schedule and parenting plan.

Withholding a Child from Visitation

The situation becomes more serious when one parent withholds a child from visitation – denying the parenting time that was ordered by the judge. This happens for a variety of reasons, such as to get the other parent to pay child support, agree to handle all transportation, or sometimes, just to spite their ex. From a legal perspective, child support and parenting time are completely different things. A judge will do more than just frown upon a parent violating a parenting plan for the purpose of obtaining past-due child support payments and this may result in the parent losing primary custody. In many states, the unreasonable denial of visitation as ordered by the court can even be a criminal offense. Although normally prosecution is withheld for only repeat offenders, the threat of being held in contempt of court by a judge can help keep the parent that threatens to withhold a child from visitation in line with the set schedule.

When a parent intentionally violates a parenting plan by withholding a child, the situation has become ripe for the filing of a motion to have the violating parent held in contempt of court. Contempt of court is when a person intentionally violates a judge’s order and does so without a good reason. There are multiple types of contempt, but the most common type of contempt in family law cases, primarily “civil contempt” and “criminal contempt.”

The most common type of contempt found in family law cases is called “indirect civil contempt.” Indirect civil contempt takes place when the contemptuous action (such as violating a court order by refusing to follow the parenting plan) happens outside of the presence of the judge (not in the courtroom). The point of holding a person in civil contempt is to force that person to either do something (allow visitation / parenting time) or stop them from doing something (hiding the child to avoid parenting time exchanges).  Civil contempt could mean a parent goes to jail, but they would be released as soon as they comply with the court order.

Withholding parenting time and violating a parenting plan can also subject the violating parent to “criminal contempt” as well, but this is rare, primarily because criminal contempt requires all the formalities of a criminal proceeding – like a jury trial. Criminal contempt is where a violating parent could be held in jail for an extended period of time, not to force them to do something or stop from doing something (as in the civil contempt example above), but to punish them for their actions. That is the big difference between the two types of contempt.

Occasionally Violating a Parenting Plan

If a parent occasionally withholds parenting time, the other parent should record the dates and times and request make-up time, especially if there is a reasonable excuse (maybe a birthday party for a family member/grandma, or a funeral, etc.). If the that parent then refuses to reschedule the missed parenting time, the parent with lost parenting time should look to speak with a child custody attorney to begin the process of court enforcement of the order. In no case should the individual withhold child support or take the child without agreement – that is a sure fire way to flip the case upside down and make you the ‘bad guy’ in the situation. A parent that has been denied their court ordered parenting time must enter court with “clean hands” in order to make a compelling and successful case to the judge. This means continuing to pay child support and continuing to offer reasonable makeup time offers in writing to the other parent. When all else fails, the filing of an emergency motion can get a parent in front of a judge in a matter of days and have the issue resolved quickly – albeit in court ordered fashion.

Consistently Violating a Parenting Plan

If parenting time / child visitation is consistently withheld and denied by a parent, this is a direct violation of the courts order. In some states, the non-custodial parent may go to the police for visitation enforcement. However, most of the time what happens is that the police tell the people to go to court and have the judge take care of it. The police typically do not like to insert themselves into deciding what should be done and what the parenting plan says should be done. When the police are called, you would need to have a copy of the parenting plan for the police to view in person. However, police involvement can cause other problems with either parent and may create trauma for the child. A wiser approach is to retain an attorney to file a motion in court to enforce the parenting plan.

The normal procedure when a parenting plan is consistently violated in a big way is the filing of a Petition for Contempt (typically called a “Petition for Rule to Show Cause”, an “Order for /Show Cause Hearing”, or a “Petition for Adjudication of Indirect Civil Contempt”). The petition (motion) needs to follow a basic outline to be considered. The basics are: 1. A court order was entered by a judge (attach the court order to the motion); 2. The order said to do or not do something specific (copy that portion word for word); 3. The other parent violated that specific portion of the judges order; and 4. The other parent has no reasonable explanation for why they refused to follow the court order. In the majority of states, that is the absolute bare minimum for what must be shown to get a contempt petition before a judge and have the parenting plan enforced.

Most states consider non-compliance with a parenting order a very serious offense and the judge may decide to make a custody change. Some judges get so upset that their order was not followed, they give the majority of parenting time to the parent that had their visitation withheld (as many judges have stated, a court order is NOT a recommendation – it is a demand!).  As previously stated, a number of states have made the denial of parenting time a criminal offense and parents can be arrested and jailed if they are eventually held in contempt of court.

How to Enforce Parenting Rights

First, keep notes and save all communications where a parent changes the parenting plan, every time a parent refuses to allow parenting time to take place, and every message or voicemail left related to the violation of the court order. This will be essential in proving your case and enforcing the parenting plan in court. Because each state uses slightly different methods to enforce visitation and parenting plans, working with an experienced child custody lawyer is best way to win your case. The goal should always be an outcome that maintains rights to visitation and parenting time which would be in the best interests of your child. Don’t wait months (or years) and put off multiple violations without seeking the courts enforcement help – this can only hurt your chances and make it seem like it wasn’t important to you. Get a child custody attorney involved immediately and secure the parenting rights that you deserve.

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240 thoughts on “Is Withholding a Child from Visitation Against the Law?”

  1. Hi i live in KIngston NY, my daughter is now 9 years old. I have joint custody with the grandparents. My daughter lives with them and they have primary decision-making rights. I was looking to go to trial or settled for a year of therapy on the condition that my visitations will be extended as soon as i began therapy. As of now i have done Everything that the law guardian has asked of me. I completed 11 months of an Oasis program, 5 weeks of outpatient mental health… and i wanted to go to trial as i know what i did was wrong. i have missed 4 months of visits with my daughter i don’t know what else to do? please advise. Thank you.

    1. This is a case where an attorney is absolutely necessary. Child custody matters where a GAL are involved are complex because of the investigation that will take place and the reports that will be sent to the court for the judge to use when making a ruling. Ask for a petition to modify parenting time and complete every requirement the GAL wants. This doesn’t mean the GAL or the court thinks everything is fine and court supervision is no longer needed, but it will get you back on track to getting a regular parenting schedule back in place eventually. Remember, the court is concerned about the child, not you or any other adult, so they might want to monitor things further before taking it off the courts calendar. Contact us for a free consultation and get the child custody help you deserve.

  2. Cory McCafferty

    Ok I’m a father of two children which I’ve had custody of for the last 7 years. I relapsed and had to do a short stint in rehab which my kids stayed with my mother then when I got back one of them throw a fit and when they went to there mothers they wouldn’t come back home so they’ve been gone for 4-5 months legally do I still have custody and how would I go about getting them home? Thanks

  3. If my child’s father has a recent domestic violence charge and a prostitution charge ..will the judge grant him visitation rights to our 8 year old daughter?

    1. It depends on a number of factors. Who was the domestic violence charge involving? You, your kids, a different person? Also, did it happen in front of the kids? The prostitution charge could have an impact as well, depending on the age of all parties involved.
      But, as regards the domestic violence charge, many times, even when a domestic violence incident takes place, a person might still be granted parenting time and visitation rights. However, in most of these cases, when a domestic violence incident takes place, a mother can request that court order dad to attend anger management counseling and even ask that for a period of time, dad be forced to have his visitation in a supervised setting. Supervised parenting time would take place in a facility or possibly outside of a facility but with a court appointed supervisor present for the entire time. This is the type of case that needs a child custody attorney that knows how to handle domestic violence cases (like orders of protection), because it sounds like there could be some danger involved.

  4. My granddaughters dad sent suicide note pictures to my daughter so she stopped my granddaughter from going with her dad for visitation. This happened in August. She has been trying to get her lawyer to file something. On January 14, 2022 her dad filed a motion for enforcement of possession and contempt. She is 7 and this is the first time she’s ever refused possession. The dad has been in trouble several times and plead guilty to third degree felony domestic violence against his ex girlfriend in November and received 10 year’s probation, ankle monitor and several other stipulations. She’s not trying to keep her away just wants him supervised. Do you think she will get in a lot of trouble since this is her first violation and once she gets all the info, police report (which is sickening) in front of the judge they will limit his access.

    1. First of all, for everyone else out there reading this, it is almost never ok to deny a parent their court ordered parenting time unless there is reason to believe that the child could suffer immediate harm. In this case, it certainly sounds that way. However, she should have immediately filed a motion to restrict his parenting time and asked that any parenting time he gets is in a supervised visitation situation only.
      What normally happens, as it sounds like here, is that he filed what is sometimes called a petition for rule to show cause contempt) alleging that she violated a court order. The burden shifts to her to prove that she either: a.) did not violate the order; or b.) that she did so but she had a justifiable reason for doing so.
      She needs a lawyer immediately. She needs a proper response to his motion and she needs a motion herself to restrict dad’s parenting time. And this needs to happen yesterday – so please, get an experienced child custody lawyer involved right now!

  5. My ex wife will not allow me visitation with my two kids ages 11 and 13. Our divorce 6 years ago spelled out a traditional visitation schedule of every other weekend and one night each week. When my ex-wife moved over an hour away, there was no way I could see the kids during the week because I had to drive both ways since she refused to drive either way. I couldn’t spend three hours once a week driving back-and-forth and still be able to work. So we moved to every other weekend, and that worked out for a while until I got this girlfriend who my ex-wife hates. She has stated that she will not let the kids visit my girlfriend’s house (where I live) and has said in so many words that this will happen “over her dead body.” I haven’t seen my kids in nine months. We missed Christmas and both of their birthdays. I want to see my kids, and she will not allow me to see them, because she says my girlfriend is abusive since she has yelled at my kids a couple of times. My girlfriend is not abusive. And in any event my wife just decided on her own to withhold the kids from me. Do you have any advice? I have been seeing this woman for four years and we are very much in love. Would getting married to her help?

    1. Your ex has no right to intentionally disregard a court order and not allow you to see the children. You can’t wait any longer. 9-months is already 8-months too long for you to see your kids. If this goes on any longer, the judge will take it as if you don’t care. You need an experienced divorce lawyer now.
      By violating the court order, she has set herself up to be held in contempt of court. Depending on your state, this might be called a “Petition for Rule to Show Cause” or a “Petition for Adjudication of Indirect Civil Contempt.” What does this mean? Well, it means that a valid court order was entered, she is refusing to follow it, and she needs to show a valid reason why she isn’t following it. If she can’t show a valid reason (Hint: not liking your girlfriend is likely not a valid reason), she might be held in contempt of court and faces fines, paying your attorneys fees, and even jail time.
      Ordinarily, when someone moves far away like this, the best thing to do is immediately file a motion to bring them back closer to your house (if possible) to not interrupt the parenting schedule. Because this happened a long time ago, its probably out of the question. But, because SHE was the one who moved, you should also ask the court to make her do the majority of the transportation of the kids. Make her drive one way and then half way on the drop-off.
      Either way, you can’t wait another week – it is essential that you get started now – good luck!

  6. My extremely abusive and violent ex-boyfriend was granted mandatory supervised visitation (Kentucky law) to see our son, but for the past few weeks I’ve been finding proof that the ex has been sneaking away from his court-appointed supervisors to be with my son unsupervised for hours.

    The supervisors he has were the only vaguely safe options. They’re always present in the morning when my son gets dropped off, but they’re a pair of old men who can’t stop the ex from just going off on his own, don’t want to do it and are very tight-lipped about the whole thing. From what my boy’s told me and the way he’s been acting out, it sounds like the ex has been filling his head with all kinds of manipulation about how I secretly hate him and am trying to keep them apart.

    I don’t know what to do; I’m considering a lawyer, but I can’t find anything online about whether the ex taking our kid away from his mandatory supervisors during his visitation hours would actually be breaking the law / court order, or whether there’d be any consequences for him.

    I’m very grateful for any advice you can give.

    1. You need a lawyer now. And your lawyer should hire a private investigator to place a gps tracking in a device that is with your child so that it can be monitored. If you think the supervisors are allowing this to take place, it needs to be brought to the courts attention immediately, and it would be best to have some type of proof.
      Get in touch with our team and speak with a lawyer now, this can’t go on any longer.

  7. Hi this is really important and if anybody has any information that would be greatly appreciated if you have a similar case I greatly deeply apologize sincerely because this is a nightmare so after having my daughter 15 months by myself I went to the mental hospital because I was raped and my daughter actually was given to my ex at the time who wasn’t even there so I was very confused and while I was in the mental hospital for what happened to me he got temporary guardianship for his mom to have because he ended up going to prison for punching his wife in the face and breaking her nose. I’ve been trying to communicate and she’s refusing to let my mom talk to her me talk to her anybody in my family isn’t allowed contact my mom isn’t on the order my mom has grandparents rights to I never signed my rights away but she keeps saying I have no rights can she legally adopt her? without my consent can she legally change her name? without my consent can she do anything that she’s doing legally especially because I was a victim and her BIOLOGICAL MOTHER THANK YOU KINDLY

    1. This sounds like a case that has years of history, even before the initial incident you described – which is awful and traumatic and shouldn’t happen to anyone. Generally speaking, the only time a court will allow a 3rd party (in this case, grandparents), to make such huge changes like this, is when parental rights are taken away. This only happens, usually, under the most extreme conditions, such as: recurring and severe child abuse, sexual abuse of a child, or habitual drug use (meaning multiple arrests/relapses, not just one or two). It sounds like you had a difficult time because of the trauma you suffered – and that is understandable – but that you are now recovering and in a much better and healthier place. This will require an experienced attorney to be on your side and will require you showing the court that you have unbelievable control over yourself – this means no outbursts, rolling of eyes, or facial expressions of any kind. It also means doing exactly what you are asked immediately when asked.
      Without seeing the actual court papers, it is difficult to provide a more detailed response as to what you need to do first, so the best first step would be to make sure your living arrangement is clean and stable and to contact an attorney to provide those court documents for review. Best of luck, give our team of local professional a call and hopefully you can back on track to being with your family again soon.

      1. The thing is when I had my daughter I never did drugs I never did nothing I drank a few times but when I went to the mental hospital I actually got this is by CPS and they told me that I didn’t lose my rights or anything so when I went to court more than once they told me I still have my rights and I still have to pay child support which means I still have a right to her correct and get this you only has temporary guardianship and then when her dad got out of jail a couple times he got custody of her again so I don’t know what’s going on nobody’s talking to me and I don’t have money for a lawyer so what do you suggest plus I’m on the process of getting into permanent disability now so I don’t know what to do

        1. It sounds like quite a mess. If you can, find someone to loan you some money for a lawyer, this is a case that is difficult for the majority of attorneys, I can’t imagine navigating this process on your own and having any type of success, unfortunately.
          But keep in mind, child support and custody/parenting time are different things. It might be possible that you did not “lose your rights” but still are not allowed any parenting time at all – be it over the phone, in person, or in a supervised setting even.
          Good luck, this is a rough situation and I hope things work out in a positive manner for you and of course your daughter, but you need a lawyer here any way you can.

  8. My daughter has been in a custody battle for over a year now… the father has not seen the child in over a year…. He missed the mediation date… judge sent him in Contempt papers for missing the mediation date…. At our last court date… the judge said the father was requesting visitation to give the child presents….. I want it to be supervised since he has not seen the child in over a year… the father is refusing the times I told him he could see her… he is wanting to take her to his house… I’ve offered visitation with supervision but he has refused… can I get in trouble if he refuses…. Plus we have a rescheduled mediation date scheduled…. The father said he is not going to work with me on visitation… he wants her for two weeks out of the month…. What is the possibility of the judge granting that, since he has not had child in a year

  9. My husband has sole custody of his 5 year old daughter. We’ve had her in therapy since she was 3 years old initially to help her transition between households easier. Then it progressed to therapy for panic/anxiety disorder with notes of PTSD. She recently got a new therapist and revealed to her some pretty disturbing things about her time with her mom. Her mother has parenting time with her the 1st and 3rd weekend of every month. We follow the medium distance plan as she lives 80 miles away from us. There have been 3 open DHS investigations, and recently another one was just opened due to things she discussed with her therapist at her most recent visit. Would denying parenting time with her mother be okay as in the best interest and safety of my step daughter? Until Child Welfare is able to do their investigation and make a decision. We are concerned for her safety as of right now as she is set to have parenting time at her moms the weekend after next.

    1. If there is an open DHS investigation, the normal thing that happens is a “safety plan” gets put in place where that parent is told that she doesn’t get her visitation during the investigative phase. If they have not done this, I wouldn’t just suspend parenting time unless there was a serious issue (abuse, life and death, etc).
      The proper method is to file a motion in court (likely an emergency motion) asking that her parenting time be suspended due to the allegations that are being made. This likely requires an experienced attorney because the threshold for proving that a matter is an emergency is a difficult first step to overcome. Secondly, you will need someone that can navigate the case properly which probably involves picking a child representative / guardian ad litem to the case. This is a separate attorney that represents he best interest of kids.
      No matter what, you should act immediately ad get in front of a judge within the next week. If a DHS investigation comes back ‘unfounded’, and parenting time was denied (unjustly), you’ve now set yourself up for being held in contempt of court for violating a court order – and you always want to enter the court with ‘clean hands’ (having not done anything wrong yourself).
      An emergency motion can get you in court tomorrow morning – unless there is a reason to wait and deny parenting time this weekend, but that is risky and had better be a serious allegation. Again, an emergency is abuse or something where a child’s life or physical well-being is seriously in danger.

  10. My daughters father agreed to supervised visits when she was two he didn’t come see her for two months and he seen her for ten minutes and left. It’s been six years since he’s seen her. If he pops up out of nowhere do I have to let him see her? I feel like it would emotionally and mentally hurt her she doesn’t even know who he is.

    1. I take it there is a court order in place, is that correct? If so, the initial thing to know is that anytime a court order is violated (Example: he is awarded supervised parenting time and you deny it when requested) you could be held in indirect civil contempt of court (this means that you violated a judges/court’s order outside of the courtroom). However, in a situation like this, and any other situation, for that matter, the first step is to find out if the violation of the court order was justifiable and reasonable under the circumstances.
      In this case, it would certainly seem that him having no contact for a number of years and popping back up could be detrimental to your daughters well-being and mental health. The vast majority of judges would likely agree that simply throwing a child back into a situation after a long absence is unreasonable and not healthy for the child.
      So, to answer the question a little easier, yes, you would have violated a court order by denying his supervised visit, but it would seem that most judges would view that denial as reasonable under the circumstances.
      The safest way to approach this would be one of two ways:
      1. Return to court with an experienced child custody attorney and ask that the parenting schedule be suspended or reserved; or
      2. If he pops back up, make sure that you have communications with him in writing for proof for the court (such as: “we can’t do parenting now you’ve been gone for years and we need a new plan first.”).
      Good luck and take care of your family!

      1. A quick addition to this: him not being around is almost certainly a good reason to deny him jumping back in to her life, in the eyes of the court. But you should be prepared to file a petition to modify the court order. Ask the court that he be required to attend parenting class, that he pays for any counseling sessions with a therapist, and that the court possibly even appoint a child representative / guardian ad litem (this is an attorney that represents the best interests of the children in a case).
        Good luck!

  11. The day I told my daughters father that I was pregnant he told me to have an abortion or give her up for adoption. Since my daughter was born he contacted me a total of 3 times, she is 5. Anytime he contacted me he would say if shes mine…I kept telling him to get a DNA test. I wasn’t going to pay for it because I knew who I was with. He never did. So I finally went after him for child support a year ago. They told me that they couldn’t locate him. Finally he randomly called in saying he heard they were looking for him. He took the DNA test. I got the paternity results 5 months ago. He didn’t fill out a residential schedule and didn’t show up to court. It was determined she would stay with me. She’s never met him. I was told that because she never met him that even if he did fill that out it would be in her best interest for supervised visits. Now 5 months after court he’s telling me that he only got the results from the test a week ago and wants to see her. Can I deny that without him going through court?

    1. If there is no parenting order granting him the right to see your daughter, you can deny his request.
      If, however, the court order states that he gets some type of supervised visits (I think what you meant is that he was NOT even given supervised visits), that should be honored.
      But, again, if the court order states that you have sole custody and that any parenting time for him is ‘reserved’, then he does not get any parenting time at all unless he files a motion with the court and asks for parenting time / visitation.
      It would be a good idea to work with a child custody attorney in your area to go over some additional facts and review the court orders that were already entered to make sure that you don’t run afoul of any mandates by the Judge – but what you describe sounds like he has not been given any type of visitation at all – not even in a supervised setting.

    2. So what you can do is inform the courts if he tries to petition for visitation that his visits be supervised due to the fact that he has been MIA and denying the child. Mediation would be arranged first. If he complies with all supervised visits and the mediator, etc would make that recommendation to the courts and he could move into visits with being supervised. I wouldn’t deny anyone a chance to bond with their child. Sometimes it takes someone longer to mature and understand their responsibilities. I know it it frustrating, but you never want the child to grow up and realize you were the reason they didn’t have a relationship with their parent.

      1. This is a really good point. One of the biggest factors that goes into a judge deciding parenting time, decision making, custody, etc., is the willingness of each parent to work together and encourage a relationship with the other parent for the benefit of the children (in many states, it’s even written right in the statute)! [look here: paragraph (c)(11)]

  12. Me, our kids and their mother live in California. My kids mother started keeping our kids from me last month randomly and tried using the coronavirus situation going on as as excuse. She also tried to have our childrens doctor write her a letter twice stating that our kids are only to stay at her home because our kids stat with her most but he told her he could not do that. I finally talked to our children’s pediatrician who apologized, wasn’t aware what the letter was going to be used for and who gave both a letter. That letter stated it’s ok for kids to travel to and from both parents house so long as no one in either household are exhibiting symptoms of or tested positive. Is their anything can be done for our kids to come visit with me?

    1. It sounds like you need a child custody attorney to file a Petition for rule to show Cause (also called a Petition for Adjudication of Indirect Civil Contempt) for her violating the court’s visitation order. When a parent violates a court order, the remedy is to file a motion (as mentioned) that asks the court to enforce the court’s order. In this case, the court would force her to comply with the court order or she would be held in contempt of court. When a person is held in contempt of court, they may be required to pay fines to the court, attorney’s fees to you/your attorney for having to enforce the court’s visitation order, possibly even jail time (this is done if a person does not comply once held in contempt), and other possible sanctions against the parent.
      It is absolutely necessary that you file this motion immediately. And you must include proof of the denial of parenting time and a copy of the court order that she has violated.
      Get started immediately, you cannot allow this to go on for a long time.

  13. So my boyfriend has a 2 year old son. And the mother of his son is very difficult to deal with. We don’t get along because she bashes my boyfriend on Facebook, has many people call and text me and tell me that they want to “beat the F* out of me”, and she blows up his phone about irreverent things that have nothing to do with their son.

    Recently, she withheld his son from him for almost a month. They have joint legal custody and she has primary physical placement. Their son was sick for 2 weeks and told my boyfriend he couldn’t see him because he was sick. No where in the court papers does it say the father cannot have him while the child is sick. She keeps claiming that since she is granted Reasonable Time/Reasonable Place, she claims to decide when my boyfriend sees his son. She also says that my boyfriend has no legal rights unless she says so. She even came to our house and interfered his time with his son and took him because of her “mom anxiety.”

    1. This certainly sounds like a terrible situation you both are dealing with – just terrible. As far as the awful things being thrown your way, there isn’t a whole lot the court can do to stop that because you are not a party to the case. However, I’m sure the judge would tell her to stop this behavior herself and if it continues, you could possibly file an order of protection / restraining order for no contact against these other people.
      Regarding the parenting issues – if she is violating a court order, she can be held in contempt of court if a property petition for rule to show cause / petition for indirect civil contempt is filed. This likely requires hiring a child custody lawyer to get the petition properly drafted and filed – this is not an easy thing to do on your own as very specific rules apply and contempt can lead to the issuing of a ‘body attachment’ or ‘warrant’ to arrest the parent violating the court order.
      To prove this, you need to show the exact section in an entered court order that is being violated and proof that it is being violated.
      Many parenting plans (or even within the statute / law if not specifically in the parenting plan) allow for a parent to keep a child if that child is sick but only because it wouldn’t be good for a child to be packing up and changing houses if they have a fever or something like that.
      However, it sounds like in this instance the child might have a stuffy nose and the mom is just getting in the way and looking for a reason to act like this and deny his parenting time.
      Keep in mind, that in this particular situation, the mom ‘might’ have a reasonable excuse to withhold parenting time because of the child’s illness. It sounds like it’s probably her being a liar, but the way a contempt hearing goes is that the burden of proof shifts to the mom to prove that her violating the court’s order should not mean she is held in contempt of court. To do this, she would have to prove that she did so because either: a.) she didn’t violate the court order; or b.) she did, but it was reasonable for her to do so because of the child’s illness.
      Make sure that whatever happens, you also get the parenting plan modified to make it more clear that there is a specific parenting plan that needs to be followed as well without the ambiguity you described.
      You might also want to ask the judge to order that all communication, with exception to an emergency (where a phone call is needed) be done through a system like Our Family Wizard. It has a yearly fee, but it is not expensive. And it makes people communicate online/in the app and judges and lawyers get access to it to see if someone is lying, being abusive, etc. Messages can’t be erased once sent, and this helps to keep people on their best behavior.

  14. In the state of Massachusetts can this be a criminal offense if children are withheld while waiting for a probate hearing and there is no order stating that he can keep children.. withhold visits… monitor and withhold phonecalls

  15. My daughters mom doesn’t let me see my daughter because she says I’m not educating my daughter her way. My daughter is 6, do I have to have the same parent style as her? Or can I educate my daughter my way?? She’s using the excuse that i let her cry when she doesn’t want to leave to deny me my visitation days.

  16. My kids dads don’t stick to verbal times and always brings her home hours after she is ment to be home even on Sunday night when she has school the next. Sometimes on school holidays it’s even days late, it’s super frustrating. He dont listen to anything I say and I’m scared of If i make a big sence he will just try take her away.
    I’m at my ends wits off what to do to stop him behaving like this.

  17. my ex randomly called social services on me and accused me of threatening to shoot my kids, this happened when i took my name off of her energy bill. she got so mad.

    now im dealing with all this shit in court , she wont let me see my youngest , and has created the utter most amount of chaos in my life, ive left her alone for 2 years , and she planned this attack, i dont understand, whats her problem. its like she hates me because i wont stop trying to reach my goals

    1. man you sound like me only i had to call because i couldnt get through to his phone i pay for she takes it and wont answer her phone so now my son is in therapy because since the divorce hes threated to kill himself was moved schools because the address did not line up or was not updated so now he is out of the good school and into a covid subpar one. hes talking to a therapist after dhs got there to investigate and now shes taking me to court and says i manipulate our son when we talk which means asking how hes down whats on his mind how he feels if things have changed ect and i dont get to talk to him thats the point my mom showed up to see him and she said he looked homeless and had to take him to get socks and under ware she spends no time with him has him living with a man who doesnt have custody of his child and doesnt talk to my son he cant go outside or do anything that she doesnt assign him to do straight a’s to suggested summer school is a indication its not me … my calls are listened to and she told me i can only talk to him 15 min a day we have joint custody with a long distance parenting plan good luck my friend

  18. I have visitation with my son the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month, now the mother is not allowing me any visitations or contact with the child because I got behind on child support, I was not working at the time but doing side jobs while I was looking for another job. I have been paying you what I am required per month as well as making monthly payments to child support for my last due amount, and the mother is still refusing any contact with my son even though we have a court order. What can I do to see my son again? It seems like on ever one of my weekends I go to her house to get him but she’s always gone and I call the police department and let them know what is going on and even show them my paper work stating my days, but they say if she’s not home there is nothing they can do, even though it’s my time and she’s basically breaking the law and a court order, can she be arrested for this, or can I press chart on her? And if so does that mean I can get custody of him?

  19. My parents had custody of my great niece from 2 months old to 5 years old. Her mother recently got custody back and court order says my parents are to get every other weekend with my great niece. However, her mother is only allowing Saturday to Sunday visitation every other weekend instead of Friday to Sunday. She says her lawyer told her weekend is defined by “Saturday to Sunday” only. Is this correct? Or should I let the court know she isn’t following through with the court order?
    Thanks in advance for any help/advice!

  20. My son’s mother got a bogus pfa on me 1 1/2 years ago. She put my son on there despite me being a loving father with no history of abuse. No felonies or anything crazy. No drug abuse. For the last year and a half despite the PFA I’ve had 50/50 and we’ve been civil. The order clearly states I have rights to see my son and even facetime him when he’s not with me.

    Last week she found out I claimed him on my tax return because we agreed in the past that we’d take turns and share the money. But she lost her job so I guess she was counting on that money. Well the day she went to efile she flipped out. That was last Thursday. That was the last day I had my son. I was supposed to have him 2 days this week and then this weekend but she keeps making up excuses for me not to see him. “He’s sick” “His behavior is better here” “His eating habits are better here” .

    I tried to call him and he was saying “dada” “dada” in the background and she quickly hung up the phone. I paid $1000 to retain a lawyer who said she’s going to file a motion on Monday but I’m not sure what’s going to come of it.

    1. Hey bro you need a file a due process action in district court to get your 50-50 custody. District court they follow the constitution.

      If you go into a family court administrative proceeding you will lose. Because it’s all about putting one of the parents on child support which is a statute.

      Statutes are rules and regulations of society which require your consent. You have no obligation to pay the child support agency. You have an obligation to support your child. They are not the same.

      FYI attorneys created child support good luck if you hire one of those

    2. Will you please update what happens? My ex has joint custody(but got a few more days than I did because I was on second and he wasn’t a whole bunch of dum reasons plus our guardian ad-litem was a bastard and favored a man with 6 domestic violence arrests against me and me with a clear record) but he does that crap a lot! Not to mention he’s always talked awful about me to and in front of the kids always! I myself need to get a good lawyer to get more custodial time with our youngest who’s a non-verbal autistic! Super hard parenting with my kids dad!!

  21. I am the father. The mother attempted to not ever allow me to be a part of her life for no legal justify reason. I petitioner myself and was given 20 percent time. For some years all was okay. I paid support and had my daughter. I hit tough financial times and got behind on support. In the meantime the mother began not making my child available and because she was a teenager and her mom said she just being a teenager. I thought okay. Well what do we do. The mother was unhelpful. I didn’t see my daughter for 4 years and even though I reach out. My child would only respond occasionally that she miss me too and was just every busy with school and soccer and part time job. I found out a when she was 20 years old that she actually had moved out from her mother’s house at age 15 and lived with her best friend from her soccer team. Is there anyway I can hold her mother in contempt of the custody order. Is there anyway I can get back child support for the years she actually never lived there. Or should I pursue a civil lawsuit for damages. This feels like fraud. I actually would give any money won at civil court directly to my daughter. And I would say in the case I do not want a single penny. I just want some justice here. How would I do that?

  22. I have joint custody and dad took our son for six months, asking for money in return. I got my son back. Got make up time. My son told me while he was gone that him and dad were almost shot standing outside of dads home. And since the dad has been privately messaging our son for our address, and dad is privately pressuring my son to answer questions like “why did you tell your mom your afraid of me” I previously had a protective order on dad that’s now expired. Dad was also diagnosed with bipolar II and other personality disorders. Do you think the judge will understand if I with hold my son from dad?

    1. Msmundaneinsane

      No. He absolutely WILL NOT. You cannot withhold visitation just because of something that pisses you off. That’s just not how it works.
      And frankly, as far as his mental health, I would tread lightly. I have Bipolar II and I have successfully raised a child On. My. Own. So whether he does or does not have other mental illnesses, really isn’t a factor unless they are DIRECTLY impacting his ability to parent. And if you truly believe that they are, order a mental health examination!
      Other than that, follow the decisions the court made for you. Unfortunately they are not always what we think is fair or safe but if you go against the court, you could be the one ending up in trouble.

      ~Also, your post is super vague so that’s about all the info I can offer.

  23. I’ve been divorce for 2 years and have sole legal custody of my daughter, my ex husband keeps being disrespectful, towards me, calling me out of my name and cussing me out. I repeatedly ask him to stop and finally I got tired of being disrespected so I decided to keep my daughter away from that behavior and environment. Legally am I wrong for not allowing my child to go over to his house when he is constantly being disrespectful to me and in front of my daughter.

    1. Unfortunately yes its a criminal offense to withhold a child from the other parent especially if he has a legit court order for visitation … It would be a different story if hes stalking you or forces his way into the house or threatens you or physically touches you or hits you … The judge is just going to tell you he has freedom of speech to say what he pleases

  24. I gave custody to my daughters father almost 7 years ago when she was little over a year old because I was going in and out of jail. Right now im a recovering addict but then i wasnt recovering. I decided to stop seeing her right before she turned 2 because i didnt want her to see that part of me, all thought i was apart of her life i called, wrote letters and keep in contact with her father. Updated with whats going on with me such as treatments and halfway houses outpatient. whatever he wanted to know he was able to. I had to keeop all my records open to him and his attnorey and during that time id gotten in alot of trouble. In and out of jail, treatment, halfway and prison twice.. at one point id gotten into quite abit of trouble, burglary 2nd degree and drug chargers. I was sentenced 28 months but id gotten time sat and was able to get out shortly after court. I was out for a week and relapsed and was back in jail, the courts recommened a rule 25 and treatment, so i did that went to treatment. Got kicked out and right back to jail, i fought against the violation of getting kicked outta treatment and wont but still had to sit so many days, I finished that and went down to steerns county jail, bailed out that next day and was our for 2 weeks relapsed and was arressted. Durningh that time i was suppose to go to treatment and never went. At this point i refused an attnory and asked to be sent to prison and so he sent me. I knew this was the only way i was going to get conytrol of my addiction. I did many things durning my time and got many certiffactions. 10 months of treatment got out and did three more months of treatment. On the methadone program, started outpatient for a year. Once covid happend i had to move and everything started going backwards and i around her birthdayI relapsed and got into trouble in this 3 month time but turned around put myselfback in treatment graduated that and now living on my own and doing outpatietn. Since augs ive msged her daught atleast twice a week asking about her to find out from my mom that she has backproblems. He not once bother to tell me anything. She is having suergery today and because i reapsed and got into trouble that the mediation means nothing and i dont have the right to know whats going on. IM just a biologial mother thats all. Im nothing to her. Im fighting for my life right now and in the best place ive ever been in life which my life and back ground isnt all that great but he refuses to see me as her mother and having the right to communicate with her… i need help. what do i do i need some adive. someone to talk to.. this isnt right what he is odoing.

  25. Hi. I’m having a very difficult time with my situation. a court order states that I am granted visitation at all times as agreed to be arranged with a certain number of expected visits per week. there may not be any over night visitation after a certain time in my home unless custodial parent is in agreement with it (which there has been since this order was established). Now I am being refused visitation unless it is supervised by the custodial parent in my own home, on their time and their place. Are they considered as being in comtempt of court? I have missed my certain amount of visits a week because of this and now I’m being refused my visitation, in my home, or otherwise without them present.

  26. My experience is that a parent that blocked me from seeing my kids, 6 years old and 9 years old at the time (theyre in highschool now) was that the court didn’t do enough, but it’s also because I didn’t know what i was doing. I didn’t have a lawyer and regret it now, but in the end it worked out. it was a long 3 years of not hardly seeing my kids but now i see them every week. If I could go back in time, I would have gotten someone to help me and gone for atleast joint custody. Moral of the story here is that you need to keep good notes on all your good things for your kids and get a lawyer if you can afford it. Having notes on everything I did for my kids and all the times I would try to contact them over and over and that I was always there is what made the judge eventually see that she shouldn’t have sole custody and told her if she didn’t start following the new visitation order he would lock her up. That made her stop the games really quickly.

    1. This sounds like you did a great job providing the evidence necessary for a court to enforce a parenting plan or custody agreement. In many instances, people find themselves feeling hopeless because there is no written, judge signed, court Order that details each parents rights and responsibilities. That is often one of the biggest issues to deal with – not having an Order that the court can enforce. This is why getting in to court as soon as possible and obtaining your parental rights (especially your father’s rights) is so important.
      Notes are essential to proving your case in court as well. While the judge might not view 2-weeks of notes as meaning much (since it could have been written at anytime), a notebook that is dated and shows daily notes for months and months or even years will likely get at least look by the court because it will show that you have a habit of doing that every day and will help when no one remembers something correctly.
      An experienced child custody attorney is obviously the way to go whenever a fight is about to take place (or has already started) over the kids and parenting time / visitation.
      In your situation, it sounds like there was an actual court order that was entered and the mom was refusing to follow it. This means that she is actively violating a court order – what we call “contemptible behavior.” By violating the court order, she is setting herself of to be held in indirect civil contempt of court. This means that she has violated a court order (which could mean she is in contempt of court) and the actions, ‘indirect’, (refusing to follow the order and withholding visitation) is ‘outside of the courtroom / outside of the judges ears’.
      The court can fine her, make her pay your attorneys’ fees, and even throw her in jail until she complies with the court order and allows visitation. Of course, the procedures for filing a Petition for Rule to Show Cause (also called a Petition for Indirect Civil Contempt) is complicated – but then, what isn’t complicated when it comes to the law!
      Hiring an expert child custody attorney is the best way to ensure your rights are not ignored.
      Glad to hear your situation worked out, even though it took a few years! Best of luck in the future!

  27. I have a concern and question regarding about visitation regards tomy son I’m worried about his health and safety and well-being of my child I have not seen him over 6 yrs cps gave my son to my ex boyfriend and now he think he has the authority to remove me and prevent me from contacted me regarding my child and blocked me from contacted and see my child what right do I have as a parent and what my equal rights and obligation as a parent and he refused to cooperate with me and now he hada open cps case and now cps closed the case and now he wants to get full custody of my child he used the excuse of mental illness and blamed my mom for no apparent reason he tells cps that my mom yelled at him and that my mom will sue him to court she never did that to him and also it not ok what he doing is to me thatwrong where both on ssi he can’t get child support from he should not punished me for this and he should not deprivedme of be a mother to my son andhe suffereingemotional and mental abused from my ex boyfriend and his brother this unfair why cps side and agree with him he make me look like a bad parent when he never gave me the chance or opportunity to let me be in my child life or include me to be involved as a parent to live and take care of a my son to raise him to coparentingand now my son don’t even now me as a mom he don’t even know that I exist now he developed autism cps just told me called me and informed me heshould not ignore me or isolate me from my child what grounds do I have as a mom don’t I have a my rights to my child I need to know if my child ok and if he well taken care now I’m suffering he should give me a chance to be a parent not to treat like an enemy I have no grudges or hate to the father of my son I’m not mad at him I’m willing to help and support him to give money and food and clothes for my child it take both parents to raise a child and it take two to tango he not doing his doing the right thing as a parent what he doing is the opposite he removed me and take me out of the picture of my son life like I’m a ghost or a stranger to my son I gave him my number he refused to talk or communicated with me in a civil manner and now he having a hard time to raise a my son on hisown
    he should notblamed me or use me as a bad apple I don’t understand why he would get full custody of my son if he can’t provide for him to give him a safe and stable home andhe live in a trailer park in hisbrother house itsnot a healthyenvironment for a child to live in but cps called me about that I don’t know why they would give my son back to my ex boyfriend and they know it a safety’s hazard and health risk to my son health there endangering my son life he can get sick and have asthma lung problem it in fair I’m the non offending parent and non custodial parent I’m in nothappy andim sad when they call me that ihave mental illness and you don’t have a job and your on ssi and cps told me now my ex boyfriend has a bad mental illnessand and a bad temper and he told cps that he over protective of my son that not a excuse to say to cps that I’m not harming him or abused my kid he doesn’t know me what right does he have to stop me from seeing my son I love my son and if he was good concern love parent like he say he to hisfriends and cps he try to give a very good impression that he the good fit parent and that I’m the bad one and he tell lies and about me that I don’t love my son or made the effort to see him how can that happen when he not cooperating with me or talking to me regarding my son a good father will not let his son sleep in a trailer and your putting my son in solidarity confinement and like a prisoner keeping him and shutting himfrom the outside world

    1. One issue you will find is that child services cases / DCFS / juvenile court, etc., is that they function very differently than a normal divorce/custody court. Typically, they are only involved if a serious concern is ‘indicated’, but they do make lots of mistakes.
      This sounds like a case requiring a specialist in juvenile and children and family services proceedings. This is different from a regular divorce/custody lawyer (although many handle both types of cases).
      If possible, you would want to have a guardian ad litem appointed that is an attorney and advocate specifically for your child. They will interview and investigate everyone and they will report to the court and hopefully the truth will come out.
      Best of luck, and whatever you do, don’t waste time – get started immediately, that is important.

  28. My exhusband decided to withhold my 2 daughters from me because of a disagreement on parenting styles. The next day I filed and enforcement order and a modification of custody (we have joint). A few days later he gave them back after he “calmed down”. A couple of weeks later he finds out I filed for primary custody and was upset because I refused to discuss it with him until the court hearing. The last time I tried to discuss this with him myself he got so mad that he punched and shattered his car window. There have been multiple phone calls over the years where he has called strictly to bully and lecture me about being an unfit parent (in his opinion) just because of differences in our households and how mine negatively affects his. After I would not talk to him about my filing for primary, my 5 year old suddenly tells him an ex of mine that she hasn’t seen in a year was inappropriate with her. He is now withholding them from me saying they are unsafe in my care. He says he is not giving them back until his supposed initiated investigation is over and the judge makes him. It has been 2 weeks and I have not seen my children, he has not answered any texts or calls. I have been there to pick them up on my scheduled time and on one occasion, no one is home. I even let him know I am coming so he can’t say he didn’t know. The other we stood in the yard and argued and my oldest had a death grip around my waist begging me not to leave her there. Our court date isn’t until February. Other than waiting for that is there anything else I can do?

    1. You need to be filing a petition for rule to show cause for indirect civil contempt of court. You will show the court the Order that was entered and that he is not following it in a willful manner with no reason except to obstruct your rights.
      He has no right to violate a court order unless serious endangerment is occurring – and that is a high threshold. An example would be involvement in a DUI car accident with the kids in the car, or using illegal narcotics in the presence of the children.
      You need to document everything, in detail, and bullet point it all out by date in chronological order. No wasting time on some of the back and forth issues, only focus on facts, what can be proven (mean phone calls can’t be proven, but text messages calling you names or a dozen phone calls in one day can be show to be harassing and not in furtherance of co-parenting).
      Above all else, you should hire an expert child custody attorney. There is simply no better way to lose what sounds like a case that is leaning towards a win than by going in to court without a trained expert in child custody law.
      Begin compiling the necessary evidence to prove his bad behavior and to prove his violation of the court order and get your life back.

  29. Hi. My sister lives in NJ she has a custody agreement 50/50 custody her son is 14 years old he lives with Dad because they wanted him to stay in the same school district. Well it’s been 8 months now my sister has not seen or spoken to her son. His Dad changed her sons phone number and will not give the phone # to her. Her ex husband has brainwashed him against his mother. Her and her son had a very close relationship. Well her ex husband is violating the custody agreement he says he is 14 and his lawyer told him since their son is 14 he has the right to make the decision if he wants to see or talk to her. My heart is breaking for her. Her ex husband blocked her from anyway of getting in touch with him she can’t even check and see if her son is ok. So now the holidays are here and she can’t see him. She did file a Motion to Enforce Litigants Rights for a second time. First time she didn’t fill out all the forms right so she had to do it all over again. Which she did paid another $50 for so she contacted one of the women that works with the judge and asked her if she needed to let him know again that she filed a motion again she told her no. So she didn’t notify and the judge denied it for that exact reason because she didn’t let him know. So now for the 3rd time she’s doing it when she gets paid again she has to pay $50 again. Is there nothing that can be done like an emergency thing or anything? The longer this goes on is more time she doesn’t see him she can’t even see him for Christmas. This is so sad and I’m trying anything I can to help her. Any advice would be so appreciated thank you

    1. Hi! How did things turn out? I am having some of the same problems with the brainwashing of my 13 year old son. They are at that age where they worship their dads . We have 50/50 and recently he hates being with me and does not want to come to my house. His dad is now refusing to bring him. I am hiring a new attorney Monday ! It’s horrible!
      My heart is broken!

  30. Good morning, I have a question in regards to my sons fathers girlfriend child. Our son is 6 and my sons fathers girlfriend has a 11 year old son. We have an verbal agreement that he can take his son from Wednesday after school to Saturday mid afternoon and whenever of course. I do not ever say no to his father that he cannot see his child. My sons has his own room and is taking care of over there as what I assume. I don’t have a problem with that. My problem is the girlfriends son is saying inappropriate things and is being left alone in the house with the 11 year old boy so my sons father can take girlfriend where she needs to go. I am not trying to take away or even stop him from seeing his son at all. I just don’t feel comfortable with the girlfriends boy around my boy. What should I do in this situation. My boy is 5 and at that age this is where they monkey see monkey do. I want to tell his father that he can’t no longer stay over there that we will have to figure another way for him to spend time with his son. Am I wrong for thinking like this. I am so confused and I don’t want to take the time they have with each other.

  31. In my case we don’t have an agreement and she took my son and it’s been over two weeks haven’t seen him and there’s nothing. Not even a call and she hasn’t responded to me and she put in a cus3 complaint filed with the courts. But we haven’t gone to court for it so with that being said I still don’t know how my son is and i haven’t seen him in 2 weeks . he is 5 months new born

  32. So my sons father has never been their since day one ,but when we went to court back in February 2019 to establish child support we agreed for him to c my child one sundays every week . He went to three visits and each time was disrespectful and then started missing 1was one then two and then three times then he just disappeared for 9 months called 3 times theough video chat n I’ve never heared of him till now that we have to go back to court and threaten to take my child alway what can I do?

  33. Fathers should always have just as much of a right to see the child/children. My ex is withholding my daughter and causing serious psychological harm to her daily. I even have physical evidence that my daughter is in peril everyday due to the mother and grandmother having actual mental illnesses running in their family. They are even on drugs that are NOT legal. I am obeying the law in which she is not. This happens far to much in this country. Things need to change. My father and I need serious legal help here in Kentucky due to not having seen my daughter illegally even though the judge already gave me my rights as a father to be able to see her. Please contact me if you can help me. Willing to pay anything to ensure the safety and wellbeing of my daughter. She is the entire world to me.

  34. We were not married n we separated in 2015,I’m the the one living with a child,I pay for everything regarding a child. My problem is his father everytime my son pays a visit he badmouth me to my 6 years old son he only pay support children if he likes like 3 or less months a year. He’s an alcoholic the last amount he pay was only 200.he uses vague language direct to my son..what can I do

  35. Hello,
    My son is 7 years old and I have not met him yet. His mother has refused to allow me to be apart of his life simply because I refused to continue our relationship with her. I had mad this decision before I found out she was pregnant, which I think knew all along but chose to keep it a secret until I
    tried to break up with her (I think she poked holes in condoms or something because the plan definitely was to NOT get her pregnant). We were both in the Army at the time, but she was a SSG and I was a SPC who was going through a divorce.. that’s adultry and fratenization which could have gotten us both kicked out with a dishonorable discharge, if discovered. She wanted to be with me so bad that know this didn’t bother her.. she would have been fine with it.. To keep down drama and try and avoid whats going on now, I chose to stick around until she PCS which was a couple months later. I though thing were going to be good after that. We are in two different countries and I already made it clear that I was only still around for the baby, but that was far from her plan.. Long story short, since I chose not to continue the relationship after my she left,, she’s refusing all forms of contact and does her best to stay off the radar so that I Can’t find her. She had told me the last time we spoke which was over Skype that if I didn’t leave my fiancé who’s now my wife and mother of my 3 other children, I would never see my son again and he would never know I exist. I didn’t think she would be that persistent, but here we are 7yrs later and all I have is a picture of my son that my wife took from her FB when my son was a couple months old just before she blocker us both. The only ppl that know her contact info are my grandparents, but she has successfully brainwashed them and they are refuing to speak of her or my son’s existence to anyone because their afraid that if they do, she cut off communication with them and go off the radar just as she has done to me. They have visited my son, have recent pictures of my son, talks to her regularly, but they will not help me be apart of my son’s life.. which resulted in our falling out.. A year and a half ago, I received a child support order out of nowhere months after moving out of my grandparent house from Dallas, TX pertaining to my son, but the case was rushed and I was hardly given the opportunity to speak for myself and they ended up ruling in her favor. The irony is she always knows where I am because of my grandparents, but I can’t seem to find her to save my life. I thought that was going to be my chance to finally meet my son. I have a wife and three kids, I’m no longer in the Army and haven’t been since 2016. I called the OAG and they told me that somehow I’m paying child support for as a single active duty soldier with no kids. I got a lawyer a couple months after I received my CS order, but he’s just collecting money. I can’t remember the last time I spoke to him, and I have no clue as to what is going on with my case. He has yet to locate her and time is going by. I dont have the money for a lawyer and I live in Birmingham, AL (to far away to go to the Texas OAG. Is there anything I can do that doesn’t require so much money or no at all that can help me get to my son? I’m desperate.

    1. Nicholas Baker

      You need to reach out and connect with one of the Dallas attorneys we work with. It needs to be a Dallas lawyer, because that is where the case is and apparently, where the mother is living.

      It is awful that you have been denied the father’s rights to meet and have time with your child. Because a child support case and a child custody case are different issues, you will need to file a petition for parenting time with the court in Dallas.

      It is possible that the child support portion is more of an “administrative” matter – in that a parenting time / custody case would be different altogether and held in front of a judge, in court. Sometimes child support cases do not go before judges, because it is handled “administratively” by someone in a state office (like the department of healthcare and family services, states attorneys office, etc.).

      The way you find her, is to get a private detective involved. It doesn’t need to be a huge multi-thousand dollar operation – they can run a handful of skip traces to search for her and or relatives – probably about $30-$50 per skip trace. This means you need as much info as possible on her and on family – full name, past addresses, birth dates, etc. – so that the investigator can narrow down just a name search and locate potential addresses for her.

      Then, the petition is filed, and a summons and the petition are served on her at one of those probably addresses.

      This entire process is not free, and it certainly won’t be cheap. That’s just the nature of this – legal aid will not help you, they typically help certain groups of people (think: asylum seekers, abused women, etc.). But there could be some veterans groups that can assist.

      Otherwise, you need to get a petition for parenting time on file in the county where you believe she is living and have her served. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be for you.

      Speak with an expert Texas child custody attorney by giving us a call, best of luck.

    2. Sounds like you shouldn’t be a part of his life if you commuted adultery and Fraternization against your wife while you were still married and were in the process of getting a divorce. Also you didn’t even want a child with this woman who u apparently had no intention of knocking up illegally. ?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️

  36. I didn’t know that in many states, the unreasonable denial of visitation as ordered by the court can even be a criminal offense. I am thinking about getting a family law solicitor to help me because my ex-husband keeps missing visitation appointments and not paying child support and I’m not sure what to do. I think that having a family law expert could help me know what my options are and what I can do in this situation.

    1. Nicholas Arena

      Missing his own visitation time is not a criminal offence. His court ordered visitation time being unreasonably hindered by the custodial parent is. Failure to pay child support can be a separate civil or criminal matter.

  37. Just as information for this post. Minnesota has a law, Minn statue 609.26, that deals with denied visitation. In fact, it can be a felony. however, when you go to law enforcement to have this law used, you are quickly informed that this law will not be used. As is so common in America, law enforcement picks and chooses the laws they will enforce.

    When I took a copy of the law, copies of multiple court orders for visitation to law enforcement, I was informed that the Woman’s groups do not like this law, thus it is not used. The cop informed me that there would be simply to many case’s for the court if this law was used.

      1. Good luck Linda. I have been through the courts in KY over child custody. For KY, be prepared for a highly corrupted system where decisions for your child’s welfare and future are based not on evidence or scientifically proven methods, but on arbitrary measures, like if the judge is old buddies with your lawyer, or if you are a known landowner in the area, or if you are a known large contributor to the judge’s re-election fund. It’s a total legal trainwreck there in KY, unfortunately. I’m not going to rant on, but just trust me. Go ANYWHERE else, to ANY other state if you can, if you are a law abiding citizen and/or a good person who wishes to retain your sanity. Kentucky courts are corrupt to the core.

    1. My daughter, age 11, is in a guardianship case. I am a working father and the non relative guardians claim my daughter doesn’t want to visit anymore. Iv’e had to go to court just to establish visitation. I am documenting the fact the denial of court ordered visitation.
      What can I do?

  38. I recently switched jobs, and I got around to calling child support to report the change somewhat late, about a month or so late – as there was a lot going on with the switch and getting settled into my new role. That was in late April, early May. It’s now July and they still haven’t withdrawn my child support. However, my kid’s mother refuses to let me see them because of this. Is this legal? Can she keep me from seeing them?

    1. Our divorce is already went in font of a lawyer vistiaion has been set but he won’t let me see them he got remarried our divorce was field in 2012

  39. I am now an adult but I have a brother who is still living with my mom and her husband, they are great people, but they have become very zealous in their christian faith and the church they go to is almost cultish. My father moved to a different state to get a fresh start, he still calls and contacts us. If it wasnt for the fact that I had a cell phone my mother would pick and choose when we could talk to him. Aside from that, he had moved when i was a freshman. My mother and stepfather let us go visit him my freshman year, but never again. I didnt see him until he came down for my graduation. now, my father is not rich and couldnt afford to keep flying back and forth to come see us, and every year we would ask to go visit him, they would say no. mainly cause the church’s pastor would tell them not to let us. My dad doesnt want to go to court cause lack of money, what can he legally do about it?

    1. My sons ex gf has kept him from seeing his daughters for a yr and a half. He could not afford to go to court. I don’t know how they call it Justice if you can’t afford a lawyer to go in front of a Judge. And they offer public defenders but they have so many cases they don’t have the time to put in the case. Just wrong how the system works.

  40. johnny collado

    my daughter recently was visiting with me and while playing with her friends in the back yard she tripped and fractured her ankle. she is 7yrs old. my daughter ended with a cast on her leg now her mother is preventing me from visiting her for the next 6 weeks. with no visit to my child. what can I do I am suppose to have her today but she refusing.

  41. Had a question for my husband…just last year my stepdaughter got braces and her mother never discuss this option with my husband. She decided to go ahead with it and now she is telling my husband he has to pay half of the dental braces. He has helped but this last month has been difficult. Now she is given him treats that if he doesn’t pay his part we cannot see his daughter. They have a case open and court orders that we have her every summer vacation. Her vacation is coming up and wondering what we can do in this case. She uses her daughter for money and is really unfair that court system don’t see it!

    1. It doesn’t matter what ui husband is the father of those kids he needs to stand up and have responsibility’s for those kids he made them and was with there mother first any real man father would be there for his kids and a real woman wouldn’t be bitchine about the fact that he had her before and they had kids they made love you ain’t the only one he loved so dig your head out of the dirt and know what time is it sorry hunny your not the only woman in the world

  42. Worried Stepmother

    Recently my husband whom was also the custodial parent to our daughter passed away unexpectedly. Him and i have been together for 12 yrs and are married. Our daughter (my step) is now 16yrs old. There is a court order that states my husband is the custodial parent and is to receive $250 mo in child support. With a 50/50 week on week off visitation order, both sharing joint and physical custody. Can the non-custodial parent just STOP everything now that my husband/her father has passed away? I don’t care that she just stopped payments, however can she just not comply/Or resume the current week on week off schedule with me even when our daughter wants the schedule to continue. Pls Help!

  43. Benjohn Agwanda

    We had some disagreement with my wife last year and she opted out, she left the house to stay with her friends just nearby and I was left with our two children, 4&2 yrs old. My friends will tell me how they see her in night clubs but that wasn’t a problem since she wasn’t coming back to my house. She sometimes came and take the children spend sometime with them and bring them back since they were schooling. After 4months she came home while I was at work, took the children, switched off her phone and left the town, since then I have not seen my children not even speak with them, I asked her to even take a photo of the boys and send to me but she has refused. She changed her number and we only communicate through email which she responds when or if she feels like and some emails she doesn’t respond to completely, especially when I mention talking or seeing the children. What legal action can I take? I feel I have a right to the children too.

  44. If it is in the parenting plan that a father should be allowed 2 phone calls a week and the mother refuses to allow the child time come to the phone is this breaking the law? Thank you

    1. What if it’s the father that won’t allow the children to call their mother on the week he has them? What if the 13 year girl refuses to go back to her dad because he is physically abusing her. What if he has not tried to call her or to pick her up from school or at her mothers house? What if the older child went through the same thing with his dad at the age of 12. Now he’s a marine & because of the lies his dad has told him, he has nothing to do with his mom. He was writing her, talking to her until he got out of boot camp & spent the night with his dad & stepmother, he will not have anything it do with his mother or sister. It’s not always the mom that’s at fault. This mom tried to get her daughter to go back to her dads & informed him that she got off the bus at her mother moms. He did nothing. No call, or anything. After about 2 or 3 months he ask her to go eat with him, which she did. She ask him if he could let her go to his house to see her little brother & he wouldn’t allow her to do that. Her mom got her to go back to his house & he wouldn’t even let her in the door. He said horrible things to her & her mom & a friend recorded the event. Before all of this, he filed a call contempt of court on the mom. This is in North Carolina & other than trying to make these children he only had to pay $300 a month for both children. Then the mother gave him everything. We’ve kept notes ever since the son was 12 & he basically said the same thing the daughter is telling about his dad, plus the daughter told about him hitting the son, which he denies now. His dad has money so he wanted to be with him. Even though the other grandparents gave him everything including a truck which the dad & his family complained about it. Even though the insurance, taxes & upkeep, like tires & whatever he wanted was taken care of by the mother’s family. The step mother, the dad, the other grandmother & aunt have managed to turn him against the ones that love him more than anything. Now, they’re in court right now charging the mom with contempt & anything else they can think of. She can’t afford an attorney because she gave him everything & she can’t afford one. She had one but she paid her $1500 for going with her once, then $1500 more, then before court she wanted $1500 more. So, you see, it’s not always the mother’s that alienates the children.

    2. The short answer is yes. Your attorney will need to file “motion to comply” with the court. Most times the police will not even get involved with something like this. But the repeated court motions can escalate the importance of the order.

  45. Hi,
    I have an important question. I am 13, and have only saw my biological dad when I was 5, so I asked my mom what his name is, she said Kevin but won’t give me his last name and she won’t let me see him. Would that be a legal case, if the child wants to see their father and learn more about him?

    1. Would I have the legal right to see/learn more about him? I’ve tried searching for my birth certificate as well.

    2. Hello Alana. Your story is almost similar to what my husband is goibg through with the woman that told him that her daughter might be his, but then took the child and left to another state. Now we have heard that the child has been asking the mother about her father. My husband has seen the child when she was small but not since. The child has the mothers last name and my husband is not on the birth certificate. We dont know what the mother tells the child about the father but my husband has always had a spot in his heart for the child regardless if she is his or not. Its crazy too because the childs name is Alana, too. Good luck and i hope you can find out about your father and the truth behind everything. Every child deserves both parents if possible and they deserve both parents to be respectful when it comes to co parenting. I love my kids soooo much. You can maybe ask a school counselor for reaources and help to get child rights to find their birth father and see your birth certificate.

  46. Vicki Pettis-Purvis

    I am a female and I feel for all of you fathers. I do not understand these women you are dealing with. Kids need both parents. I live in Missouri and when i got divorced we had to take a parenting class. I remember watching the videos and crying because Kids blame themselves for our divorce. We were taught that we SHOULD NOT use the kids against each other, do not talk shit on the other parent in front of them, do not withhold visiting rights, do not argue in front of them, and do not refuse child support, do not withhold info about the child, etc. That all affects the children. I guess that i am lucky because my ex and i have always got along. He had planned on moving out of state so i was awarded full physical custody but he ended up staying here. So we talked it over with the boys and decided they would stay a week with me, then a week with him, and we have rotated ever since- 5yr ago. we came up with our own child support plan too. When the boys go to the doctor or something happens at school or any kind of news i feel is important, i tell their father and we make decisions together. we try to keep things consistent at both houses. when they are going through phases of being defient, their dad comes over here and talks to them in front of me and tells them to obey me just as they do him. We have remained friendly and i consider him a friend even though we dont hang out. this has all helped our kids tremendously. we have always had birthday parties together, and my ex-mother in law and i are even still friends. we take my daughter and his daughters to the pool together in the summer. it is so much better to be kind and flexible, and even helpful to each other than to hate and be ugly and create stress for your kids. plus they are going to follow in your footsteps. do you want them to think its ok to be ugly to their spouse or marry someone who treats them like crap? I just don’t get it. Even if he would have treated me bad as long as he has not harmed the children and they want to see him, they should be allowed to. Do any of you live in Mo? i want to help a friend who is having problems with his ex withholding visitation rights. He needs a good lawyer and some advice.

  47. Terrence R. Kiellman

    This comment may not even see the light of day. As every site I try to get recognition from (help) it is immediately removed…

    ” The threat of contempt of court ” will make a parent stop… LOL… Unless you were married to a sociopath. My ex wife has been violating three judges visitation and rights orders for 5 years now. I invoke my rights, she sends me emails ” we don’t care about the law around here ” both the mother and grandmother for 13 years have been telling me I can’t see my kids, I am no longer a father, BUT, its all on tape, emails, texts, the grandmother literally drives my daughter up to my door step to pick up another child (which I have full custody) The issue is she is a Suffolk County resident and I am a Kings County, she uses SC to keep me away from my child. The mother lies to police, schools, etc, about my rights. The WAR I had to go through just to get my daughters report card. She uses CPS against me (when its her the complaints are filed about) never mind she is a convicted heroin addict and child abuser, this F agency makes my life HELL! When no citizen on the planet has filed one complaint against me. I have more agents at my door then she does. They call her on the phone to make appointments with her. So she knows they are coming, ” how moronic is this “? The grandmother, mother, are nothing but criminals and the police and every single municipal agency in Suffolk County aids and abets them. My story is way to long to post here… Simply I am a man up against a dirty woman in a feminist run state.

    I have such a law suit against cps… and my ex and her mother, never mind the entire damn county.

    Its my fault… I should have gone back to court and addressed this. But for 13 years I have been taking this woman to court and EVERY TIME I am told to shut the f up and sit down. I am NEVER allowed to speak, and I am the ONE filing the damn petitions! In one hearing my ex wife called me up that night, and said ” I have never seen a miscarriage of justice in my life ” She was showing me I can’t win. So I stopped going, I stopped calling CPS, as with every damn report they came after me and still do even now. This feminist agency files false petitions against me, saying the most vile things about me and my daughters relationship on behalf of the grandmother who holds temp custody. I am also told by these witches ” even though I am the father ” I can’t have my daughter, they put in writing! This is how bold they are. My ex mother in law sees all black people as MONKEYS (have that in writing) too…

    I mean I am the damn FATHER! I know by law that my rights TRUMP grandma! Even the NYS Appellate Court ruled no non parent shall have custody over a PATERNAL one unless significant (extraordinary circumstances) has occurred, and here there is none. I had a BEAUTIFUL relationship with my daughter before 1-18-2012 and then GONE. See my eldest ran away, she refused to be surrounded by drugs, orgies, drug addicts, pimps, prostitutes, and being beaten. So after my ex wife just kept my daughter away from me. TOLD the ENTIRE Suffolk County she had orders of protections, she omits my name from the child’s emergency card, and they ALL believed her! Even after I faxed them PROOF, they STILL believed her! She calls the police and tells them lies about me, so I STAY away from Suffolk County. Its not worth it. I have two other children that need their dad, especially, my 17 year old daughter. One of the guys my ex wife had orgies with RAPED and MOLESTED my little girl at 7 repetitively! It was discovered 7 years later she is now 14. When my eldest daughter confronted the mother and grandmother this is what they said ” Oh no big deal he just put his penis on her that’s not rape! ” I THREW UP! ” when I heard that. The guy is in AZ because if he was here you would KNOW about me on the NEWS… Father rapes man in the middle of street! Sorry… and all the while this agency and every Suffolk County municipality comes after me! The law suit I will file against this place when I can, when city workers get paid, my signature will be the one APPROVING the check! I tell them this when I speak to them, and they say GO AHEAD… They don’t give a crap!

    I just want to know when us men are going to RISE up and STOP this crap! When we are going to MARCH in MILLIONS through this country and the UK and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! The family courts, law guardians, cps, police, teachers, my God, this movement is infused in every facet of government. If I can illustrate it best, watch ” She Devil ” with Rosanne Barr and Meryle Streep ” you will understand what is going on. I watched a court clerk screaming at a man for giving his daughter a hamburger because the wife didn’t want her to have it! WHEN are we going to STAND up and TAKE BACK our children!

    Having your children kept from you is violating your fundamental civil rights to LIFE LIBERTY and the Pursuit of Happiness. If you are without your children (and this is done to women also) I just read about some mother 7 years hasn’t seen her child BROKE MY HEART, LIFE: You PRAY for death every day, so that is no life, LIBERTY: its been RIPPED and STOLEN from you! and Happiness? Lets just say it forms a HOLE in your heart and soul and even though you are smiling on the outside, you are dying on the inside.

    You have to give these women who marched in the streets in millions credit, Trump pissed them off and they went after him, HUGE BALLS! and us men have been RAPED since 1920 and we do absolutely nothing…

    For every man that endures this hell, STAYS and fights, even if they do sin, God should just give them a pass and red carpet entrance!

    Terrence R. Kiellman: VICTIM, FATHER and US CITIZEN

    PS: If there is any lawyers that see this and would want to sit down with me and see the possible law suits I have please email me. I live in Brooklyn, NY. My law evidence of allegations is PRIMA FACIE…

    1. i feel for you im going through hell myself ,i havent seen my son since fall of 2014 just finished trial the phorensics dr said she fully alienated my son and will sabotage any visits if court resumed them and a visiting coach also testified that my son loves me and doesnt fear me my ex made my life miserable im just praying the judge will make right decision

    2. You are right in every way. The courts, cps, all big racket. Taxpayers dollars. Primarily the nations men that pay that tax. Our children are suffering, at the hands of the people who run our state and legislative government. They are so busy. They cannot fathom how important being a good parent truly is. Let alone, it be a man. What a simple minded, ass backwards society we live in. Corruption Poisons Society. For those of us who care about our rights as well as our children’s welfare and well-being. We have a interest in our countries future. Unlike th e one’s who has the nannies teach their children proper morals and remind them about god. And what the People can do If they stand together. If they don’t hear you. Scream. Eventually, the masses will prevail. If, it truly is a democracy? Governed by the people? Isn’t that what they teach us in school. We have a voice. Wrong! Only when we unite, and march to Washington DC. Enough people support what is truly one of the most destructive form of sabotaging our families, as well as our children’s’ well-being and the future of our country. Is this not national security at the most basic level? We are obviously struggling at the most simple form of government to the top. I get no acceptable answers. Just one official passing the buck to another. No one taking accountability or responsibility of denial of basic civil rights. I love my country. Not feeling it loving my daughter or any other child in this nation. A nation of people, WE THE PEOPLE..

      1. I think its time for these judges to retire. How can you judge fairly, when you reach a conclusion based on someone else’s experience. We are all different, in a sense of who we, are as individuals Therefore each case, deserves its own considerations. Not based upon case#, that happened in some court, somewhere else. Case study. I call Bullshit Again.God made us all equal. However we all behave differently, base upon our own upbringings and experiences. That is what makes us all unique. I’ve never been so confused in my life. Now we have family law. Just another way to separate us from our families and our constitutional rights. This way obviously has not been working. Ask around. This is everywhere. It’s absurd and unconstitutional. I never understood why they spend so many years understanding law, liberty and justice, yet they are oblivious to such things. Do some research. Its in black and white, and available for the public to see. Court records. Most of them at least. Unless your daddy’s a judge, politician, someone famous, and or a public official. See something similar here. What happened to we the people. It seems like its just some people.

  48. I have a question, My husband and his ex have a custody agreement where he gets to see his son on the weekends Fri 6pm to Sun 6pm, however the mom is not following thru and is always making excuses why he can’t have his son, Karate practice, parties, she just wants to have time with him ect. Long story short she is NOT following thru on the COURT ordered agreement, The dad is a Legal Permanent resident and the mother is undocumented (Illegal) and the child is a citizen. Please any advise would be greatly appreciated. The state we live in is Pennsylvania

  49. Leighanna Mitchell

    So my father is mad at my mom and I because I recently told him that she will be filing for custody. SO he is not trying to withhold me from seeing my mom. In the papers they signed it says every other weekend and every other holliday. My question is, is he allowed to keep me from seeing her because he is mad i’m moving?

  50. Rachel Hetherington

    My friends son is now turning 10 years old and has never met his father… now his father is trying to get visitation and the child has never even met him. He is ordered to pay child support and is 35,000 behind. What are options she can do? She agreed to waive all back child support if he would sign rights over… he is trying to get 6 hours every 3 months. What can she do to keep that from happening?

    1. I am trying to help this guy friend of my his ex won’t let him see is daughter he asnt seen fore 6to 7 years what can I do to help him see her

  51. Our son has been incarcerated, up to now he has paid child support and furnished health insurance for child. He was incarcerated until May where they let him out for three weeks. His ex wife refused to let him see his only son. He went back in to start serving the rest of his time. The divorce decree states they will alternate years on filing the child on taxes, and this is his year and the ex is also refusing him to do this (divorced after 2009). His ex is saying since he was incarcerated he wasn’t primary support, which she is and has always been, and like I stated earlier he is current on insurance and support. Is the ex entilited to do this? We see future problems when he gets out early next year. He wasn’t incarcerated for domestic violence or any thing to a child, the other person who wasn’t a child, women or elderly didn’t appreciate being who’s the toughest wasn’t them. Please help.

  52. My ex has overnight access this weekend sarturday 11am until 7pm Sunday

    If she returns my son Saturday night but wants to pick him back up Sunday morning am I obligated to allow that or is she forfeiting the rest of her access for the weekend by returning him early ?

    Ithank you

  53. My sons mother hasn’t let me see him since July 9, 2015. The day before my fiancé and I had our son. The decree states visitation is when both parties agree. Is she in contempt? Please any advice would be appreciated. I also found out she told our son , who is 6, I’ve been on vacation and to call her boyfriend dad.

  54. i live in illinois and the father lives in florida. Me and my kids dad have been to court for custody and the judge has ruled that he gets temporay custody until we come up with a agreement that was in 2010. We had a temportay mediation agreement for one year. we didnt do another one. i have been trying to see my kids since 2010 and i have barley any contact with them cause he is busy or there not home etc ect. I pay child support for them. I want to go back to court and get a court order to see my kids and that case is closed now. i dont know if i have to reopen it or open a new one and what forms i need to fill out to do this. Cause i have a 4 yr old with someone else and they never meet her either and i want to be able to visit them or have them visit us. I need help.

  55. I lived in CA. My ex and I split about 2 months now. No court order and we are trying to co-parent our son. we set a schedule of what days who take care of our son. but the days my ex have our son he doesn’t let him sleep over at his apt cause of his work schedule. he works 6:30am.I don’t know where he lives. I ask two time he refused to tell me. I feel like im not getting treated fairly. what should I do?

  56. I was hoping to get help with this, I really need a lawyer for my divorce/child custody but cannot afford one, since I have had to move in with my mother. My husband lied about his income on the divorce papers when he filed for divorce and he has opted to skip mediaton and go straight to trial. He is asking for my daughter for half of the year or at least all summer and every other… she does not want to stay with him but she is only 9 and I am not sure they will listen to what she has to say. He had CPS called on him twice where we used to live (in another state) both times he refused to meet with them and they did not do anything about it. He has also been in counciling for anger I guess for a couple years but it does not help. I do not want to go against any court order but I am not comfortable leaving her with him for more than a few days. Especially when she stays there more than 2 or 3 days in a row she calls crying and does not want to be there. He is always on the phone and mostly ignores her and pawns her off on his mother who smokes with my daughter there and I do not appreciate. She tells my daughter things like “your mother is a terrible person” I mean, what can I do, please help!!

  57. if the other parent breaks child custody orders and moves out of county ,then gives child to some one whos not related to the child and the other person trys to get custody what can be done the father has had no chance to parent the child

  58. I was hoping for some advice. My daughter is 1 1/2 years old. Both my ex and I are on the birth certificate together. Recently, she has decided to end the relationship and have me move out. The only place I can afford to live, is with my father, which is 2 1/2 hours away. My ex states that I can not legally take her that far over night. Neither of us have gone to court over anything yet. I have the only source of income due to my ex having multiple theft charges, and one felony theft charge.I also am disabled. I have 2 domestic dispute charges against my father from 4 years ago. Is she able to hold my daughter from me because I live that far away, can she also change my daughters last name without my consent, and can she prevent me getting to have my daughter on weekends? I live in Michigan. I am 22 years old

    1. This is a very difficult situation to assess with so few details (a very in depth intake is definitely required by a professional – give us a call). However, because there is nothing yet in court, neither one of you technically can tell the other person what to do – but don’t be fooled – because she is the mother, the police, if called, would probably grant her the right to do what she wants should there be a dispute. This is why you need a court order. Also, you say that you are on the birth certificate, but this technically does not mean that you are legally “dad”. Did you sign a “Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity”, also known as am “Affidavit of Parentage” (follow this link to see what it looks like: ) as well? This is a legal document given to most parents that are unmarried in the hospital to sign. Many hospitals will not place your name on the birth certificate without signing, but some will, so it is likely you signed it but this is necessary for you to obtain asap. As for getting overnight visitation, as long as you are in the same state, overnight visitation should be allowed, barring anything bad in your pat. However, being that you moved far away, not her, it is likely that the burden of providing the majority of transportation would be on you for the time being. It is important that you get started immediately or the judge will not look favorably on a long absence in your child’s life. Call our team immediately to obtain your fathers rights!

  59. My wife left me and she took our 5 year old boy in ga. We havnt been to court yet she has custody of him. She saids I can only see him every other weekend . I want to see him more what are my rights

    1. Please contact one of our local Georgia family law professionals right away. The only way this gets worse right now is by waiting to make your move. The court will take notice of parents that wait 6 months or a year before they file for their father’s rights – this needs to happen immediately so that the judge can see how serious you are. Also, she does not have custody just because she took the children. In fact, if she now has bad living environment compared to your home, this may swing a custody decision in your favor! Here is a link to our state page on Georgia Family Law. Basics of Georgia Family Law Get started immediately and fight for your father’s rights!

  60. Hello I’m dealing with a nasty break up between me and my ex girlfriend. We lived together for almost 3years but my baby girl is only 10 month’s. She lost custody of her 3 prior kids within the last 2 years because she git a dui and showed up to court intoxicated. Her oldest daughter choose to get a lawyer and live with her step dad because of verbal abuse. She gave me a ultimatum and I choose to get out of the relationship. She took my daughter and won’t disclose a address so I can send custody papers. She contacts me daily to tease me about her finding a new dad and threatening that she’ll teach me a lesson by never letting me see her again. Even as I type this she’s texting me about working it out. I just want to see my daughter without all this extra drama. When I say we can’t it turns into name calling and more time away from my cookie face. She then texts me that she wants child support or formula and pampers dropped off but I still can’t see my daughter. I’ve given her all of my daughter’s things and she just won’t stop the daily harassment. How can I serve papers when she won’t tell me where she’s staying? She’s using the black man abusing a white woman excuse to say she doesn’t have to specify a address and when I contacted the police after she threatened to kill my daughter she was tracked down by phone pings and told them I was lying because it was a phone conversation. Then she moved to another guy’s house because she has no family. Me and my family really miss my baby girl and just need some help. I’m currently not working because I watched her and my autistic son. I try to do side jobs but dont have a lot of money to pay for help. Thanks in advance for any advice

    1. There is no easy way to attack this problem, and I would say that the most important thing you can do is find an attorney who can help. This will require getting money together, and I know you are on a budget, but this is essential and needs to happen before anymore time goes by. Talk to friends and family and get something together and work out a payment arrangement with one of our affiliated attorneys by filling out the side form on our site.
      What is important is to act quickly. the more time goes by, the worse it will be. You need to show that you are the good parent. This means doing what’s right in all instances and not being sucked into her text message games. Remember, it is easy to show a judge a threatening message you sent her and that can derail your father’s rights case. Stay above it, do not stoop to her level. The first step may be to file an emergency petition for custody or possession. A judge will probably order her to disclose her location and appear before the court within a week or two. This is the case in many instances (but not all instances). Then, to find her, you may need to tell the police that you have a court order and that she has kidnapped your child. Once they locate her again, she will appear before the judge and you can calmly describe your issues with her drinking and drug use, etc. But be aware, if you request a drug/alcohol drop from her, the court will probably ask you to do the same, so make sure that you have nothing to hide and are clean as well. Please contact us, this is not a good time to go it alone.

      1. Hey Nicholas,

        My ex-wife (she cleaned my bank account then moved across country and filed for divorce, getting full custody) moved with our 7 year old son into a house with one of her boyfriends and refuses to give out her contact number or the address where our son is. Her and her boyfriend taunted me like little children with a toy right in front of my confused son on webcam when he tries to talk to me.

        There is a laundry list of sick, immature alienation tactics she is using to “get back” at me for our failed marriage. My son is instructed to no longer answer any questions I ask, and she hovers over him physically whenever I talk to him on webcam. My visits are a pathetic 2 hours a week where her and her boyfriend treat me rudely in front of our son. My son has developed behavior problems in school and acts bizarrely around adults and children alike. It’s killing me inside. I have tried countless genuine approaches to reach out to her for the good of our son, and she emailed me back nothing but a meme of a mentally handicapped person as a response.

        I’m saving money to bring her to court. My questions are:
        What are my rights to know her address? What should I do if she’s withholding that information? What kind of evidence do I need? I’m in NYC and she’s in Connecticut.

        1. How long has this been going on? You have the right to file where you lived with her and your child and ask the court to return the child to your state. She normally does NOT have the right to just pick up and move your child out of state! However, if you have waited 6-months or a year or something, you may have forfeited your rights to petition the court to bring the child back. Waiting to do something is the worst thing anyone can do, so I really hope that you get started immediately doing whatever you have to do to get the help you need. As far as the nasty webcam situation, why don’t you make sure that you have proof of this behavior so that the judge can see what the mother is all about. You have the right to spend time with your son without them present, and you have the right to ask them to send your son back to New York – but you must act immediately or you will lose your right to this! Contact us by the form on our site and speak to a lawyer immediately.

  61. I am the non custodial parent and in the agreement it states I must give her 24 hours notice in order to see my daughter. Which I think is fair.

    However, I want my daughter to visit my house and my ex wife says no she is not ready. So I suggested that I come over and visit. We both have to agree on the locations to meet, but I am asking her to drop her off at my place. Does she have that right in Maryland? My daughter is 5 years old.

    1. First of all, a parenting agreement that does set a specific schedule (such as every other weekend from Friday at 6:00pm until Sunday at 6:00pm) is a terrible idea. This leaves the door open to her always saying it was not enough notice or she already had made plans. You need to modify the parenting plan or visitation agreement, and this probably requires an attorneys help so that this does not happen in the future. Contact our team by filling out the form on the site or calling us for a local attorney. Also, in Maryland, as in many other states, a person that unreasonably denies visitation in violation of a judge entered court order can find themselves in contempt of court and face serious penalties. The best move would be to hire an attorney, file a petition to modify the parenting plan, and ask that she be held in contempt of court for violating the court order by denying you visitation. Get started right away, the longer you wait to enforce this, the worse off it will be for you.

  62. We live in Kentucky-out children our 15 and 13. our current visitation schedule has out children with me 9 nights and their Dad 5 nights. The kids have discussed wanting to change the amount of time spent at their fathers to an every other weekend situation. In Ky do kids have a day in the schedule?
    Than you

    1. Children normally have some type of say in the parenting schedule depending on their age and maturity level. Normally, judges are not thrilled about bringing children into the courtroom for a variety of reasons: 1. it can be intimidating to be in court, 2. the judges don’t like forcing a child to say something that might make it uncomfortable to be around the other parent, 3. kids don’t always know what is best for them (that’s the adults job). Teenagers can be picky but the age of them does mean something to the judge, but a judge will do whatever he or she thinks is in the best interests of your kids regardless of what the kids or even you have to say about the matter. It is probably a good idea to file a petition for modification of visitation and present these issues in the proper written format so that the judge can call you and him in and make a decision. Follow this link for more information on Kentucky’s laws: Kentucky Family Law

  63. My fiance’s oldest childs mom is refusing to let him see his son until his son goes to consouling. he is 4years of age and has a problem with back talking his mother is stating that it is coming from his father however having a child of my own it is not just a single persons fault nor can you put the blame on someone when there are other people constantly around him. My question to you is if it is on papers from a judge from child support court a year ago that he is to get him saturdays at 6pm and bring him back at 6pm on tuesday by law can she refuse his visitation? she has kept him from his son for almost 2 months now with no excuse other than he has to wait until the son goes to consouling, please respond via email. Thank you, Felicia

    1. Felicia, your son can not wait any longer, he needs to file an emergency petition for visitation and a petition for contempt for her disobeying the courts order. The longer he waits on filing, the more it looks to the judge that he really doesn’t care. This need to be done this week. there is no reason to deny visitation unless imminent harm is likely, and even then, calling the police or filing a motion in court is the preferable step. the fact that she did not do this shows that she is trying to alienate him from his child and deny him his fathers rights. Please contact our team members by filling out the form on our site to have an expert contact you within 24-hours. Don’t wait – this need to be done immediately!

  64. help please!! arkansas resident? if i file a contempt of court for my ex and realise its hard on the kids? what are the rules and guideline if you drop the charges and any payment need to apply to court? thanks

  65. i got commenyt need answer, got divorce and not aware of the custody agreement, now after several months instead a tahnk you from the ex, i got a list of complain and repeating the custody agreement. So i call the judge office ask what she talking, i was told by the clerk to request for court files, comply hold and behold there is one> when picking up time i told the ex she have to take me to court before she can take our daughter. Upon reading every thing on the file, she violsates a lot of iy and i dont agree to what is in there? now i file for contempt of court so i can have her explain cause quit communication and taking the kids? now she counter saying i was in contempt and in violations? is that addmissable to court? thanks joe

    1. Take it from me and the years of experience dealing with situations just like this: The first step is getting the court file and reading the judgment that was entered! If she is violating the judgment, yes, you can file to have her held in contempt of court. Basically, the judge will yell at her and force her to abide by the custody judgment or she could do jail time. Visitation interference is a crime. Better call an attorney quick.

      1. Thank you for sharing your knowledge! We love when experienced family law attorneys and other people share their experiences to help others with their questions.

  66. I have a few questions regarding my custody agreement with my daughter’s father. First of all, we went through the lawyers and came up with a modification for child support and custody. He recently spent 6 months in jail, in which i did not receive any child support, and had been supporting my daughter 100%. He has been out since March of last year, but still is not stable to where he has her 100% and only makes an effort to see her once a week, for about 4 hours. Also, he only calls her at the most of one time a week, maybe 2-3, if he remembers.

    Does this result in me pretty much having rights over her? TIA

  67. I have a situation with the mother of my 4 year old great niece, since the death of her father she verabally agreeded to ongoing visitation of my great niece, but there are times when she may not have a good day or good weekends she will not allow me to see or visit he. We are bonded since birth they both stayed with me with my nephew Up until his death in July 2013. Now she at times do not want the continued visitation, is there anything within a court request for visitation of the 4 year old in the state of Maryland? Seeking continued visitation because my 4 year old niece ask to see me and she is going thru emotional changes because of her mother going back and forth of allowing her to visit.
    Please is there any advise or assistance that you may can provide?

  68. I am worried I am going to get in trouble by withholding my two daughters, 8 & 4, from their father this weekend due to severe concerns, but I hope the judge will see I’m not trying to be mean and take time away, I am just concerned. I have heard s lot of stories of him and his girlfriend using drugs for one. For two, I am worried about domestic violence between him and his girlfriend. My daughter told me a story that a couple months ago he locked her out of the house, they were yelling and screaming and the girlfriend was crying. The kids got sent to their room, and she said it sounded like someone got hit. My best friend was with me when this was told so I’m getting an affidavit from her to show the judge. I also have a text message from him a few months ago saying he kicked his girlfriend out, she’s going psycho and if she hits him he calling the cops, which I will print and show the judge. He moved a couple months ago and didn’t tell me, so he no longer live with his dad so there aren’t extra eyes on the kids which worries me. I have asked him 3 times for his address do I know where my kids are in case of emergency and he will not give it to me. So, I filed a motion to get it and that im suspicious of domestic violence. Even his grandma told me she was arrested a few months ago for hitting him and he went and bailed her out. I am not trying to keep my kids away from him to be mean, I’m just concerned and worried, but also don’t want the judge to get mad at me for not sending them this weekend, I hour she sees I have a ligit reason for keeping them until it hearing in a couple weeks. I’m also afraid of how he is going to react towards me after he sees the motion filed which says suspicion of domestic violence. I also want to ask for a drug test, due to all the hear say going around about their drug use. I am worried the judge is going to wonder why I’m now all of a sudden taking action, but honestly I was afraid of how he would react, get the kids in trouble for telling me about their fighting, and noe that he has moved there are no other watchful eyes on them. I asked 3 times for his address and he would rather let me withhold them then provide the address, which makes me wonder what he is hiding… Something going on at his house or cops after him that he doesn’t want anyone to know his real residence… Just need some input as to what others think of this situation please!

  69. My girlfriend a I have been separated for a couple months now. We were living under the same household so can still see my kids and sill be around them. I ha just got out of surgery over an incident that she brought to our house when she left the kids at home by themselves at night while she went to work. She left her 13yr son watch her 7yr son and my 2yr daughter I just couldn’t leave them there so I stayed the night when she got off work. she came home at 2am in the morning with two guys from her work who assaulted me cause I was questioning her about leaving the kids home alone by themselves. It’s been 2 weeks since I been out of surgery and I tried making contact with her so I can see m son an daughter but she is refusing in getting in touch with me so I can see them. I don’t think this is right at a cause my kids have nothing to do with the situation I just would like to see them. I been thinking In filing for joint custody. Is there anything else I can do so I can see them cause what she is doing very childish and ignorant I got thrown out a house that I been living and paying bills there for 4rys.

  70. I been fighting in court now for 4 years now. My son’s father is a level 3 sex offender trying to get full custody of his son. His father is not allowed around kids or schools or anything. He has to do a every yr photo and all and yet the courts are giving him rights to everything. How can I fight this? He hasn’t called his son in over 2 years now and been telling the courts he has which is a lie. Telling the courts he isn’t in school another lie he is registered just on a waiting list . I am also going through a divorce as well. His father lives n NY and i have told the courts that i cannot afford to go to NY all the time it would cost me over 600 to go which i dont have and they don’t seem to listen at all. there are giving him visits over the summer, holidays etc i cant afford that and they know this. Is there a way I can fight this at all?

  71. My 3 kids has been living with their dad for 2 1/2 years and I usually visit my kids every other weekend , then it’s every weekend but now since they’ve started school I barely get to see them . I’ve bought my kids shoes and clothing for school , and when I do get to see my kids on the weekends I take them out, I want more time with my kids , when I try to try to visit there was always an excuse that my kids not home or I’m not allowed to take them . My ex and I have not gone to court for custody because we didn’t think we need it but now my ex have been keeping my kids from me and since my kids has been living with my ex (their dad) for that long , if I file for custody when I have custody of my kids?

    1. i have this same thing i let his dad get a easy with it it has been 14 years in for the last 3 he has not let me see them i think if you have jab a place to live for you in them there is no reason you can’t fight for them

  72. I have been separated for now 4 year. I have a 4 year old daughter with my ex. We went to court to set up visitation and child support. We have had no problems with child support but with the visitation he has not followed all the rules when he has her. But now that I want to move from Illinois to Missouri he is having a problem with it. She is going to start preschool so he wont be able to get her every weekend like he is right now. i have agreed to let her see him every other weekend and mostly all holidays since they are on the long weekends as well. I don’t mind celebrating on different days. its the meaning that counts. Can he really stop me from moving? Is there anything i can do show that this move is in the best interest for my daughter? i will be closer to my distant family, i have a job lined up, it is in the country so less crime. i dont know what to do.

    1. You cannot move out of state if he doesn;t want you to. It is his RIGHT to see his child every other weekend,and it doesn;t even matter if he wamts to do it just to spite you.That is the law,but regardless of the law,he should WANT desperatly to see his daughter as much as possible,and generally speaking,you sound like a really good ex in letting him have her every weekend and every holiday weekend,but moving out of state will KILL the father daughter relationship.Is he a bad guy? Is he a good guy? If he is a good guy and loves his daughter,you must consider the pain that moving his daughter so far away will cause to him. Good luck with everything and make sure to put your childs needs before your own.

  73. Here is the situation of current….my boyfriends mother is non compliant of court ordered visitation. The order says that my boyfriend has joint physical custody of the child which lives with us for the majority of the time with visitations scheduled for the mother on every other weekend. In the past she has left the state with the child during her visitation and did not tell the father of her where a bouts. Police were involved and we had tracked her down and found his son. Back in court he took her visitation down to every weekend to every other. Now the order says that we drop him off at his grandmoms job and the mother is to return him on sunday at five at a location she picked. Last visitation she never showed to the location with the child so we went to the residence. We waited as we felt we were being sent off by the family and her as they said they didnt know her whereabouts. She finally showed walking funny down the street with three kids all under 9 including the child in question at 10pm in a dangerous area of chicago. Upon receiving the child he was dirty and looked to have contracted conjunctivitis. The mother smelled of alcohol and was speaking in a slurred voice. Long story short we took the child to the er and had his eye treated. We have stacks of evidence, pictures and such that show her as an unfit mother. What can be done he is stressing out every time we drop his son off not knowing if he will be returned or if he will be safe. the child also states he is hit when there.

  74. I called my Ex to pick up my daughter due to almost loosing a house and almost getting a divorce so that he could take my daughter for a couple of weeks so that I can get some things together of which I did. Now he refuses to return her stopped paying child support as soon as he took her and said she is 15 so she can choose where she lives. Now mind you in this time she has been showered with gifts, conerts amussement parks he drives to pick up all her friends so of course its easier there. He says I have no rights since she chose is this right.

    1. This will also cause her to change schools and the one she is going to now guarentees she get her associates degree by highschool graduation

    2. If you have a court ordered divorce agreement,and he is not following it,you can take him to court and make his life miserable. remind him of that

  75. my husband and his ex wife had a visitation set up at the time of it they both living in washington. my husband now live in idaho. the ex wife says since he moved the visitation is now invalid. is that true. The summer visitation was set up he got the kids for 3 week and then she got them for 3 week and then he got them for 2 week and she got them for the last two week. He also got labor day weekend. he asked her several time if he could take the last two week because of living in Idaho and since he got labor day. She kept saying she had to think about it and she would get back to him. He even asked her what week he be picking the kids up and she never reply. So since she never reply we figured that the last two week was okay. now she just text and said that he lost his visit since he didnt show up for it.. What can he do now. He would showed up if she would of been honest and say no she wouldnt change week with him

    1. Now that he has moved out of state, he needs to file a Petition to Modify Visitation. When you live in the same state, visitation orders can stay the same. But, if the visitation needs to be changed, then he should file for a modification because of his move.

      1. We are planning on doing a new parenting plan since we live in idaho. but for the current parenting plan since the current plan didnt give exact date it just said that my husband got the kids for the first 3 week then his ex got 3 week and then he got 2 week and then his ex got 2 week and we asked her if we could get the last two weeks because we got labor day and would be easier for us but she gave a answer so we firgure it was okay so are you saying because he didnt pick the kids up on the 4th he loses his visit even thou we asked her several time and she kept saying i would think about it and get back to you and never did. we asked her like 6 different time.

        1. It all depends on what exactly the parenting plan specifically says. Why don’t you get a copy of the parenting plan in front of you and give our team a call.

  76. i have sole and physical custody of my child. I am planning on moving back to my home country in a few month. My ex-husband has visitation rights and does not pay child support. I hired a attorney that wrote him a certified letter to let my ex know about me planning on moving and also sent him a non certified letter. This was back in may. The laywer said I am free to move with my son however I need to figure out visitation with my ex husband. I told him I am not planning on not letting my child not see his dad or be in contact with him. I simply can give my child a better future where i am from. What is the next step that I need to be doing?

  77. Hi, I have not yet divorced my husband and as far as he knows I want us to stay together and make things work, we have a 4 yr old daughter and have been married now for 7 years. He does not know that I’ve wanted a divorce for 4 yrs now and have been counting down the days until I felt the time was right. He does not know this because I have pretended to be happy even though he is very difficult to live with and is without a doubt verbally and psychologically abusive (he’s never physically hurt me, but has been very aggressive and uses his size/strength to intimidate me). I’ve done this for the protection of my daughter because I worry about how she will be cared for by him since he’s done NONE of it so far. However, things are escalating and he is berating and insulting me every day now…many times in front of our daughter even though I am pleading with him to stop until she is not around.

    He has “joked” over the years about disappearing with her. Asked what would I do and do I think I could ever find them and isn’t it better to know they are with a parent who loves them and can’t that be good enough for me? He’s commented that it should NOT be considered kidnapping as long as its a parent. And more recently said he understands “why Dad’s kidnap their kids when c*** ex-wives try to limit their time together.” I’ve been terrified for years that he will take her and disappear. I’ve endured his abuse because i can’t stomach the thought of him taking her like that. he’s threatened that if i don’t agree to 50/50 days between us…and if i try to get more time than he does or limit his time in any way “I’ll be sorry”. I also understand that judges don’t like when parents try to do that either, I don’t want to be the bad guy in front of the judge and risk losing her so of course I worry about what, if anything, should even be said about these fears. I feel like I’m in a no win situation, so I stay in this awful marriage, a complete wreck inside because I feel like its the only way I can say for sure that my daughter is safe and where she belongs. I absolutely will do this with the help of a lawyer, i understand its worth every penny and there is no bigger investment I will make for the rest of my life than this.

    1. Call our team of expert divorce lawyers right now. Get things ready, and leave your husband with your child – but do so with a safe place for the two of you to live (not a shelter, that’s how you lose custody). Get things in order and make sure it’s done right.

  78. My child’s father changed the visitation schedule on me for 4 months. He took sat after work j til Sunday at 6 when he was supposed to take her fri night. He never knew when he was going to pick her up because he didn’t know when he got off and this was troubling for me because I need to have a plan on when my sister needed to be available to watch her of I work since I only work the weekends she is with him. I basically said he needs to pick her up fri night or he forfeits unless he just takes her Sunday and that if he finds he has a Saturday off amd cam take her Friday to let me know. He notified me he would pick her up fri. She stayed at his friends house overnight til he got off sat and he did this for two of his visits. My child dies not want to stay at this persons house….she is uncomfortable now there for reasons I won’t discuss. I told him I am keeping her with me fri nights and he can have her sat non later than 1:30…picking her up from me or my sister who is my primary care for her while i work…which he has done for 4 months. He also refuses the information of who she would be staying with….this makes me uncomfortable in sending her. What do I do?

  79. Long story short, I divorced my wife a few years back. She did not want to have our son because she would rather go to school. I ended up getting Sole Custody and legal decision making rights as well as child support against her via default. Well some time later I tried to make to make things work with her(we lived together at the time) and signed a joint custody agreement. In this current agreement there is no stated primary custodial parent, there is also nether parent listed as having say if an agreement can’t be reached for education and medical. My son has primarily lived with me for over a year and he went to Kindergarten last year under my care, I have paid all expenses. We cannot agree to where he will go to school, he is already registered in the same school he went to under my care. She has also tried to blackmail me into agreeing with her by saying she will withhold him from me (she already did for the fourth of July, he was with her new husbands parents and she was in another state). So being that an agreement can’t be reached and his primary residence is with me (I claimed him on taxes, he is on state insurance through me, and he went to school with me last year) can I withhold him until school starts? There is no parenting plan set in the current agreement, only in the original sole custody agreement. She has already stated that she will withhold him from me if I disagree with her, and he is currently in my care. I filed a Petition to Modify Legal Decision Making today but we will not go to court for at least a month and school starts on the 6th of August. What do I do???

  80. Step children
    Hello, my husband has a court ordered visitation set up with his children, he pays his support every week and buys them girls anything they need as far as school clothes, shoes, supplies and things throughout the year. This past year the mother of the children on multiple occasions has refused him his visitation weekend with his girls. Also, she has taken some of his holidays from him. She tells him that if the girls do not want to come they don’t have to, that it is their decision. The girls are 8 and 14. She also tells them things that are not true about their dad to try to make them hate him and not want to come. We know this because the girls have expressed this to us, along with other things like them knowing their mother does drugs. With that being said, what can we do for him to get his visitation back with her denying it to him? And also, would a guardian ad litem be a good idea for this situation?

    1. Call us right away. If there is a court order for visitation and she is denying it, she can be held in contempt. Little kids do not get to decide what they do for visitation, the parents and court does. If they don’t want to go, their mother has a duty to force them. Call us now.

  81. concerned Mother

    My childs father dropped her off after his weekend visitation and I though I could smell alcohol. I later asked my daughter and she said he wasn’t drinking while driving but then said he did drink BEFORE he was driving. Our court papers already state there is to be no one drinking alcohol while with the child. What can I do to protect my child. I feel like she is in danger and I can’t do anything until something happens!

  82. My daughters mother just moved with my daughter to Texas from Illinois, where we have both lived since she was born. My daughter is almost 17, I pay child support through the courts and have established paternity by signing voluntary acknowledgment of paternity since birth. We do not have a formal custody agreement, but I have always had my daughter the entire summer, and on holidays. Until now, she lived about 2 hours away from me.

    Without having a formal custody agreement, what is my recourse? Was it lawful for the mother to move her out of state without my consent? If not, what should I do?

  83. FOR BITTER MOTHERS It’s so sad that mothers put a price on your children’s head just to get back at your husband FOR WHAT EVER HE DID Wrong TWO RIGHTS DONT MAKE WRONG. And you mothers don’t let the kids see their Father Do you No that a child more Happy to see their sad Mothers Like to ABUSE THE SYSTEM for their selfish gains ALL YOU MOTHERS SHOULD BE ASHAME. OF THE SELF YOU CALL YOUR SELF MOTHERS.

  84. I was engaged for a year. He lived in mississippi I moved there and resided there for 4 months and we broke up amd moved home to Texas. When I got here I founded out I was pregnant. I have lived here the whole 9 months and now my son is 9 months old. His father came when he was born signed birth certificate ect. And has not been back since. I fild for child support thru Texas but the had to send it to MS because my sons father was never a resident of Texas. My question is, where will visitation be set? My son is 9 months old and doesnt even know his father. Since the child support got sent to MS do they have the authority to set and enforce visitation when my son has never even been there?

  85. My parents are coming to town, I’m asking my ex for a switch and offering another weekend. She won’t accept until I give her an extra day also; a day she has asked the judge for and he had already said no. Now she is threatening criminal contempt charges if I don’t go with the original date. The order says alternate weekends, not specific dates (she’s upset because it’s the 4th of July weekend) I can’t let my parents fly out here for the first time in 3 years and not see their grandchildren. CPS took the children from her, I have full physical custody, joint legal. Will this go anywhere? I’ve have shown I’m the parent that is willing to, compromise for the past 10 years, but the kids being taken from her was the last straw.

  86. My 10 year old daughter has never met her biological father. My husband, her step father, has raised her as his own child since she was 4 months old. He is the only father she has ever known. Now, suddenly her birth father has gotten in contact with me and wants to meet her. She is not interested in meeting him. What rights does he have as her birth father, compared to the rights my husband has as the man who has raised her? How should I proceed with this?

  87. roberta dagley

    Me and my husband are still married but been separated for 3 yrs I let our 6 yr old daughter spend the weekend when he txt me Sunday night and said he wasn’t gonna give her back I have filled paperwork for the divorce but he hasn’t let me see her since we still married can I pick.up my daughter at the babysitter since the sitter is his girlfriend what can I do thank u.

  88. If my ex-wife withheld my weekend visitation for my child misbehaving but then offered me make-up visitation time, do I still have a case to file a contempt of court motion? I want to be able to see my child consistently, but my ex-wife has made it clear she will deny visitation if she thinks it is necessary.

    Background: She did this to me before a couple years ago and I did nothing about it. And when we first divorced she witheld my visitation for four months because she did not like my girlfriend at the time. I took her to court and won make-up visitation time but she was not penalized.

  89. My ex-husband has not paid child support in 6 months he I found out he lost his old job so I felt sorry for him thinking it was okay to not pressure him for money but I recently found out he has a job and just haven’t been paying his support but he comes and get by daughter bi-weekly even though there is no order for that also he buys her things when she is with him and I don’t want him to use that as an excuse to stop paying child support so my question is can I keep my daughter away from him because of the deceit he did not trying to provide financially just because of me but with holding funds from her I stead what should I do

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Child support and child custody are two separate issues. You can not violate the court order if it states when he has visitation. If there is a child support order in place and he is not paying, go back to court, file a petition for rule to show cause, and get the support you deserve. Contact us right away and get a free consultation!

      1. The mother of my fiances child refuses to let him see his child, now my fiance and i are both active military and right now the mother of his child is in naval training and the child is currently with her mother who also refuses to let him call or see his child. Now my fiance pays child support there is no court order stating when he can and cannot see his son, they were never married, but they are separated. He wants to at least see his son or fight for custody of him. How can he go about this?, is it possible or will he never get custody even if he fights or him?

        1. Nicholas Baker

          He can get some rights and he should speak with our father’s rights experts right away! Filing a Petition for Visitation is the first step to getting your father’s rights – don’t wait any longer, speak to us and we will put him on the path to getting the visitation he deserves.

  90. hi. my ex boyfriend is willingly signing over full custody of our child to me but we have no idea what we need to fill out. everything i find about it has to do with going to court and lawyers and whatnot but neither of us can afford all of that and since we are not fighting for it and he is willingly giving me full custody, do we HAVE to go to court to have it done or can we just fill out papers and hand that over to where those need to go?

  91. If there is inadequate care for my children for just one visitation weekend can I refuse that weekend and arrange for the following weekend to make up for that time missed. My children will be in the care of a 14 year old for about 6 hours and I am very uncomfortable with the arrangement since no other adult supervision will be provided.

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Ordinarily it is ok to have make up times if there is a good reason for doing so. However, being worried about a 14-year old babysitter probably does not rise to that level of an emergency. Babysitters are a normal part of having kids, and this is pretty much what a judge would decide as well. Child custody issues like this may seem like a big deal at the moment, but it would probably make you look like the bad guy in the situation for filing an emergency for this type of reason. Sometimes its best to let some things go so that you can live to fight another day! Good luck and hang in there.

  92. I want to know what will happen if you try to serve the custodial parent with court paper but they are return because it was an old address. They were sent in the mail after being sent certified mail. The child or the parent doesn’t live there but they are still in the area somewhere. What will happen in court?

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Probably nothing. The other parent needs to have notice of any type of court hearing before the court can do anything. If you are looking for a way to find out where that person lives, please contact our preferred Private Detective Agency at:
      They are one of the most affordable detective agencies nationwide and only charge $35 for skip traces so you can locate that parent and have them properly served.
      Good luck!

  93. I am married with a step son his father has had temp custody for 7 years. we have followed every visitation and never keep him from his mother in till now. She has a horrible living condition and is living with drug heads. she is also trying to lie on us. do we have a right to not let him go to her house anymore ?

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Do not violate a court order! If there is a problem with visitation at the moms house, go to court and bring up the situation with the judge in an emergency hearing. Child custody help is available by speaking with one of our family law attorneys right away.
      Filing a petition to suspend visitation is your first step,the next would be asking the judge to appoint a child representative so that they can investigate the home the mother is living in and provide a report to the judge.

  94. My son fathered a child with a woman that lives in Georgia and he lives in Missouri and the child was born in Missouri. Since they have never lived in the same state what rights does he have as far as custody? The child is now 11 months and the mother has filed child support. The mother has also blocked my son’s phone number and refuses to respond to anyone. She ultimately want him to move to Georgia and be with her (the mother) to see his daughter. What rights does he have as far as seeing his daughter and being a part of her life. He has two other children that live in Missouri with him and she basically wants him to abandon them and move to Georgia with her. What can he do? thanks for your help!

    1. Nicholas Baker

      He will need to respond to her Petition for Child Support and then either contact one of our attorneys in Georgia (he needs a Georgia attorney, make sure he requests that on our form with a Georgia Zip code where SHE lives with the child!!!) or file, on his own, the response. The next step is then to file a Petition for Visitation with that court in Georgia and request both telephone or video calls with the child, and probably day-time visits in the State of Georgia until the child is old enough to have out of state visits. As far as custody is concerned, our father’s rights attorneys can fight for him, but keep in mind that a young child who has lived its entire life (albeit 1-year) with mom will probably remain with mom unless there is a compelling reason to change that, especially to change states. A compelling reason would be serious physical abuse, child endangerment, drug use, etc., things like that. Call our Georgia father’s rights attorneys right away.

  95. Hello

    I stay in Oranjemund Namibia, myself and my daughters father had our little girl in 2011 we were not married and til today still not married. we went apart in 2013… I alow my daughters father to see here when ever he want to he is always welcome at our home to see his daughter. My main question is… May I refuse for my 2 year old to go alone to her dad without my supervision? I have to problem him taking her to the beach for exsample but I want to be with.
    My daughters father comes and sees her when it fits him.. sometimes for a whole week he wont come to here ( but he is always welcome)

    Please give me advice?

    1. Nicholas Baker

      In America, denying visitation ca get you into hot water, and in some states it is actually a crime. We do not work with anyone in your country, but I would suggest searching for a bar association where attorneys list their specialties and calling one of them. Good luck!

  96. Hi I was wonder what can be done if the other parent doesn’t show up for court ordered visitation? For example, the other parent has not contacted or called for a year. He is supposed to have them every other weekend but has not shown up. What do we do if he calls and wants get back to seeing them following the visitation order that he neglected for a year? Thanks

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Do not disobey an order from court! That is the fastest way to get yourself held in contempt of court! A good option would be to go to court and ask that the visitation schedule be changed right now since he has not complied. One of our expert family law attorneys can help by putting together an order that allows you to force him to provide you with advance notice of having visitation so that you can schedule your life with your child.

  97. I found myself in a bad situation with an abusive spouse a few years back and realized it was a dangerous place for my child… I sent her to live with her father for her safety. in leaving my abusive partner I found myself in trouble with the law. I went to prison for a year. in which time I send numerous letters and gifts to my child only to find out that the father had moved.. left no forwarding address. I got out a month ago and have been trying to contact my daughter the whole time. he has moved. he has my phone number blocked. he has left me no way to see my daughter or even know where she lives. we have a parenting plan that allows joint custody. I know I have made some mistakes but that is over and I have paid the price for that. what can I do to be able to see my daughter.

    1. Nicholas Baker

      You need to first find out where he is living, and perhaps a private detective can help out with that:
      The next step is filing a Petition for Visitation or a Petition to enforce your previously entered visitation agreement. Your jail problems put you in a disadvantage, but you should be able to see your child. Contact us right away and let one of our expert child custody attorneys help!

  98. My ex-wife kidnapped my 3 children and ran away with my best friend 13 yrs ago. I only recently found them living in another state, where they have moved from one homeless shelter to another. I tracked down phone numbers and addresses, and sent clothing and money immediately, but shortly after they were on the run again. I have been paying child support for my children steadily for the last 5 yrs, due to a granted divorce on no contest (she ran an ad in the paper), court ordered child support and she got full custody of our children. In the last 6 months I have received word that she moved to a neighboring city but I am afraid to let on that I know for fear she may run again. Do I have rights to see my children and be in their life?

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Because its been such a long time before you were able to take action, a judge will be leary about granting you a lot of parenting time. However, what she did was wrong and a court will probably allow you some type of visitation if you file and have her served immediately. Our father’s rights experts can help – get a hold of us now!

  99. My divorce was finalized this month. When it was signed in February, it was an Agreed Decree of Divorce. I didn’t agree, but due to the long history of domestic abuse, and my ex’s constant dragging out of the case, delaying things, refusing to be served by not answering his door, etc, my attorney said to just sign the agreement right then and get it done, and modify later. This agreed decree gives us joint custody with my ex getting every other weekend visits. The problems I’m having is that he continues to try and control me via court and visitation, he was arrested on 8 felonies, 3 misdemeanors, all pending in court right now, including violation of a protective order last year that I had. (Protective order was dropped 4 months later because my ex used it to negotiate a signature with my attorney. I was told to drop the Protective Order, and he would sign the attorney at that time said I might as well give him what he wants or he’ll just keep dragging it on….of course he didn’t sign it then, he waited 6 more months) His current girlfriend had her children removed by DHS twice in the last year and has an open case with them where they come into her home once a month to see her kids, who have significant mental health issues from her previous relationship where her ex beat her repeatedly in front of the kids. They have PTSD issues and her son lashes out and punches walls and things when he’s upset. And of course, she picked my ex, a slightly less violent abuser, but an abuser all the same. DHS advised me to cease visitation, but would not put it in writing. Then after their most recent investigation, closed the file, and the worker said “I have to close it after 60 days, and I haven’t received info from the other two counties involved. (my ex lives in another county, and the DHS that removed his girlfriend’s kids from their home is from yet ANOTHER county) I’m sorry. You can file a new investigation request” In March I was granted a new protective order against my ex for my oldest child, who is not his, because we found out he was allowing an adult male access to my daughter and providing rides to facilitate the sex offense. Police are working on new charges for that as well. But when I filed for emergency custody of my youngest, which is his child, I was granted it for 7 days, and when I went back, the judge said he had to protect the father’s rights for visits, dismissed his own order from a week prior, and said I didn’t have grounds for emergency custody based on what he did to my oldest, as it didn’t directly endanger my youngest. He said we are to return to the original arrangement of every other weekend from Fri-Sun. My ex spent the whole week making threats by text message, but doing so in a way that if you read it not knowing him, you wouldn’t understand why it’s a threat. He keeps threatening to constantly take me to court for this that and the other thing. Today, Wednesday, I discovered that my ex and his girlfriend lost in court today in their eviction case, and will be evicted from their home within 3 business days by the sheriff. I’ve been scared for the last two weeks that if I let him take my daughter this Friday, he will refuse to return her Sunday evening, go and file some motion on Monday morning, and keep her as long as he can. My daughter is diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and severe ADHD. She takes medication, and her anxiety and depression were diagnosed after a suicide attempt at age 7 due to stress from our domestic situation. She is 8 now. If he is being evicted, and the order says he is required to provide me with an address where my child will be, and he refuses to provide that before taking her, can I deny visitation? I’m so scared she’s going to get caught up in all of his angry craziness. She’s just a happy sunshiney girl right now, and she hasn’t seen him since the last week in January with all this. I’m so worried that if he decides to try something, she’s going to panic, not have her meds, or access to her counselor, or anything.

    1. This is a difficult situation. If he has been evicted, where is he going to be living? If he has no home to bring your child to, file an emergency motion in court suspending overnight visitation until he has a suitable home. You absolutely cannot withhold visitation from him without first getting the ok from the court – if you do so, you will have put yourself in contempt of court. If he refuses to give your child back on Sunday, he has set himself up for contempt of court for violating the court order. Give us a call, one of our child custody lawyers can help!

  100. My husband was just in court on the 17th and the judge ordered the mother of his two girls to follow and abide by the visitation order. On the 18th my husband went to pick up the girls and they stated they didn’t want to do visitation with my husband. My husband hasn’t seen his daughter since July 26, 2013 and all communication has been broken on the behalf of the mother since mid August due to her deleted their father from their Facebook pages and changing their phone numbers. My husband has always and a great bond with his girls and the very last time they had communication the girls was asking for him to come get them and they couldn’t wait to see him and spend time with him. Now, all of a sudden they don’t want to be with him. Something seems truly suspicions about this to him. Can someone please advise on what his next step is because he really misses his girls and from the interaction with them on the 18th the girls miss him as well but seems as if they’re being pushed or
    forced to say they don’t want to spend time with him, the girls ages are 12 and 14?

    1. Whether they want to see him or not, if mom doesn’t force them to go with him, the court can hold her in contempt of court for violating his visitation order. He needs to ask the judge to order her to stop saying negative things around the kids about him as well, this will help too!

  101. Cristina Flores

    Hi…. I need some advice on what to do! Me and my sons father went to child support in 2013 the Jude appointed us joint managing conservators of our son. I have been designated as the conservator of our son. When the court order was finalized he was served at his brother residence…, he is currently not living their anymore. He keeps wanting to come pick up or son at my home but he been remove from my home before. When we went to court we were living together but I was having a hard time with him giving me money to help with our son. He’s been up yo date on payments because they been taking it automatically out of his account. Money is not the issue at this point. I don’t want to encounter him no more so I don’t want him to pick up our son at my house because it’s always argument with him. What worry me the most is that he wants to take our child out of town but he does not have a driver licenses. He been in car accident and has 2 DWI on his record. He did serve time in prison for paintball shooting in a shopping center and hitting child in her head. He still does not have a driver license since it is suspended from his last accident. He has an offense of ( INJ CHILD w/int bodily INDJ) felony 3rd degree. I question him about it and claim that was the paintball shooting accident. When he moved out of my home I found a paper that he has to register as a sex offender I ask him and he claim he didn’t since was a minor at the time it happen. The letter was is from the department of public safety from Austin and it’s for a classified sex offender renewal notice. Do I have a strong case to get him under supervision right? I only worry because he’s been going back yo his old ways. Just two weeks ago he got arrested for driving reckless and a DUI.

    1. Speak to one of our family law attorneys and get started immediately – your child’s safety is on the line here! You need to request that the judge grant him only supervised visitation – if he has a sex offender status and/or s breaking the law by driving with your child in the car, a judge will not be happy. Speak to one of our child custody lawyers right away!

  102. Cristina Flores

    Help, my sons father moved to a new place and he picks up our son every other weekend does he has to provide a current address where he will be at with our son? Our son does stay him over night. And what do I need to do if I don’t want him to pick up our son at my address? I need advice

    1. He is supposed to provide the address of where and who he is living with. If he refuses, go to court and tell the judge. They will straighten him out.

  103. My sons father is still living with his parents trying to get his life together. my sons father’s parents refuse and deny any visitation between my son and his father. is there anything i can do legally? im at a loss and its hurting my son more than anything else.

    1. I’m confused, its not his parents decision if he sees the child or not, its yours and the courts. What exactly is going on, and can you give one of our local child custody attorneys a call and see how we can help?

  104. I have primary custody. My ex sees the child 4 days a month. It’s a battle every time visitation day rolls around. His drivers license is suspend for non payment of child support and now that a court date has been scheduled by lChild Enforcement agency he started paying. He is afraid of going to jail now. He had not paid for a year and is over $9,000 behind. I have always let him see our child on visitation days. However, since he moved to his new girlfriends house he wants me to meet him halfway between her house and mine. I refused because my child is not suppose to be spending the night at her house due to them not being married. He has been in trouble with the court before because of this very same thing with a different girlfriend. Well, he told me the court orders said to meet at the court house which we have done before, as well as other places. I could not find this in the orders anywhere but had been doing it just to keep the peace. So to the problem, our daughter who lives out of state was visiting this week and she had my car so I could not meet him at the place we had been meeting. I asked him to pick up our child at my place, and told him I didn’t have transportation. My place is appx 8-10 mins further. He said No. My daughter arrived 15 mins after scheduled pick up time and I texted him back to say I could be at the meeting place and he claimed he went to the place and I wasn’t there ( duh, I told him three times I didn’t have transportation ) …He said his girlfriend had a dinner to go too ( Bunko is what her Facebook said) and he couldn’t meet me now ( no drivers license). So I offered again on the next day scheduled and on the next day and he said he was hiring a lawyer. I asked him 4 times to meet me at the regular place he wanted and not only did he refuse he didn’t even call our child to talk to him. What will a judge do since this was the first time I wasn’t there on time? Wasn’t it just as wrong for him not to try too meet me any during that weekend. The total time I was without transportation was 35 mins from drop off time. Thank you for responding, the stress my ex puts me through is affecting my health.

    1. Nicholas Baker

      Difficult situation. If he is not complying with court orders, this does not necessarily take you off the hook. However, because of his inconsistencies, you have good reason to have refused his demands. Keep in mind, a judge may not see it that way. In a judges eyes, you both are guilty of wrongdoing and not following the courts order, so it is possible either one of you may be in trouble. contact one of our expert child custody lawyers right away!

  105. My son and his ex-girlfriend have a child. There was a paternity hearing which proved he was the father..she had the birth certificate changed to reflect his last name. This happened in Oklahoma. Now, all of them live in Wisconsin. My son is trying to get visitations with his daughter, but the mom want’s to meet his girlfriend (which is understandable), before she allows visitation. The problem is she demands that he takes off work (recently he started a new job) and that he and his girlfriend travel three hours, not once, but twice, so she can meet her. He has asked her to meet them half way, but she refuses. He was in prison for seven years, but was totally discharged in Sep 2013. As soon as he found a job, he started making child support payments and hasn’t missed one since. What can he do just to get visitation rights?

    1. When did the move to Wisconsin happen and was it allowed via court order or your sons permission? The removal process is not easy to win in court, and if she did not have his or a judges permission to move out of state with their child, and it happened recently, he should file a Petition to Return the Minor child to the State of Oklahoma. Even if he intends to allow her to stay there, he can use this as leverage to gain the father’s rights he deserves and get some type of order in place allowing visitation in exchange for dropping enforcement of her returning to Oklahoma. He can’t do this alone, so he will need help from family to pay for a father’s rights lawyer – give us a call right away.

      1. My ex husband and I have shared custody. But he has primary. Last year he was hospitalized for 8 weeks which I have first right to refusal, well my ex husbands new wife never informed me he was going to stay for 8 weeks and just kept my son from me. I just recently found out that this happened can she get in trouble for this? She was his power of attorney while he was hospitalized but she knew what our papers said she just kept it a secret until I found out a few years later. Can she be held for kidnapping since he was suppose to come to me when his dad wasnt able to care for him?

  106. Lots of good questions here.. My situation is slightly the opposite here ex and I have joint custody which was awarded just 14 days ago. It started because she WANTED to move out of state and I file a emergency order for her not to take our son until we had an enforceable agreement in place and she could prove she was stable as she was discharged from short term behavior health facility. The order was granted and we had our hearing 14 days later. The courts gave our son to her with no questions asked and granted me a mere two weekends a month. I have cared for him since I returned home from basic training he was three weeks old we lived in the same house , I got my own place in Jan 2014 my son and his mom stayed at the residence we were in together. I had our son every weekend from Friday to Sun and two evenings a week as well. Then with her hospitalization I had him for a total of 27 days straight. Our son showed no signs of distress while being away from his mom and he settled into a very nice secure schedule. Since our hearing I had my first weekend with him, Mom allowed me to keep him beyond the time stated in the court agreement , now she is allowing me to take him for an entire week which is not in the agreement. we have another hearing in April and I intend to ask for every other week visits… she says she wont give it to me because she wants to have more time that I get. Now seeing she already gave me more time will this help me when we go before the judge. She lives about 2 1/2 hours from me and it would be great for our son to spend real solid time with me. He is much happier and settles back into the schedule just fine. I should add he is 6 months old. We are hearing report that he s not settle very well with his mom she constantly tells me how he wont sleep and he is fussy all the time she is overwhelmed .

    1. Nicholas Baker

      It’s always a difficult situation when a child is as young as this. Get one of our father’s rights attorneys to talk to you about your options. I think your situation may call for the opportunity of extended visitation time, depending on the state you live in.

  107. I have been dealing with my ex husband since 2009 verbally, and meantly abusing my two boys whom are now 5,7 years old. Now that he has moved into a one bed room apt with hjs girlfriend, newborn baby, and his friend the situation has only gotten worse. Beside my two boys witnessing domestic violence between thier dad and his girlfriend they are also allowed to watch rated R movies and play rated M games. Also my youngest son came home a week ago with a mark on his collar bone and he informed me that his dad hit him with a belt there, of course I have once again called DCF and the police. Then that same weekend I had to baker act that same boy because he tried to stab my oldest son. They are both in therapy for behavior disorders that have been caused by long term exposer to the unstable environment at thier dads house. I can go on of things that happen over there but everythung has been douctmented by DCF or the police or the therapist. At this point I am refusing to send them to his house for thier own saftey am in the saftey of doing this? Do I need to have papers drawn up? Please help!!!!!!!!

  108. I am an unmarried father without any court ordered rights and when my son was 4 months old, his mother took off to another state with our child, only giving me 1 weeks notice. I was promised it was only temporary and we came up with a verbal plan for visitation that worked for both of us. As soon as she moved, it became obvious she had no intention of adhering to the plan, so I filed to establish paternity and custody. 3 years later, and we still don’t have anything settled (postponed court dates, cancellations with the promise of settling, etc). I have been denied nearly every visit I’ve ever requested in my home state (hundreds of requests, only 2 visits in 3 years). I’ve been told I can visit my child any time I want in her current home state and have made numerous trips there, but many of those request have been denied too. I should also mention that my child’s mother has blackmailed me into settling for very little time with my son (I didn’t cave), and has filed a false police report saying I watch child porn and could potentially harm my child (case deemed unfounded). My question is, is there any chance I could get primary custody in my home state at this point? Is this behavior by the mother enough to change primary custody and uproot my child from where he’s been living for 3 years? Or would the courts make them move back and give us equal joint custody? Equal cusotdy is what I would prefer because I think it’s best for our son. Do the courts frown on denial of visitation even when a custody order is not in place or does the fact that I have no rights mean my child’s mother can deny me and my child a relationship?

  109. I have a case where the mother is denying visitation even though its court ordered she has put out a tpo which is expired and now she ignores certified court documents sent to home and since u have 30 days to respond she doesn’t and the case closes how can we get her to come to court. The address is correct etc
    The mother gets free legal aid but father can’t what is wrong with our system.

    1. I am in a simiakr aiutation she tooks all the benifits and hasnt seen them n ayear doesnt paychild support ive been trying to areamge supervised visits but she refuses that and now she wajt full custody back and ots claiming ive kept the kids from her. She gave them up more than a year ago amd waibed her rights what can I do will they take my kids away ? She is now pregnaye again with no job or house

  110. I have had my daughter since April 2013. Her mother had abandoned her and I went with DFS and local authorities to get her. I recently was awarded sole custody of my daughter. Her mother has made no attempts to contact her since July 2013 not even for her scheduled visitation. She has not called on her birthday nor did she call for Christmas. What can I do since she doesn’t make any contact at all even though I have attempted to contact her numerous times? Oh I am in Missouri btw.

  111. My grandchild has lived with us for the past 3 years. My daughter has custody of him and the dad sees him whenever he wants. He sometimes comes and takes him to swim or for ice cream or whatever and sometimes he keeps him overnight when he can. He didn’t have a car for awhile (and he lived in another town north of us-about 20 or 25 minutes away) and he had a low paying job so sometimes he went for 3 or 4 weeks without coming around but we didn’t care. My daughter was getting assistance from the state so she could get him on insurance and pay his preschool fees and what not. But she never went after the dad for child support because she didn’t want to battle him. (they had a real bad breakup) Anyway, the state ended up going after him for child support and is also going to make him pay back child support now. (around 6,000) He pays $266/mo now and my daughter started using it to pay his kindergarten fee which is 275/mo for all day kindergarten, which he started this year. Well, the dad recently got a good job on the railroad and got a decent car. He picked Cole (the grandson) up a few weekends ago and was supposed to bring him back Sunday. He showed up by himself asking for his backpack and said he took the week off and wanted to take him to school in the morning. (the school is a block away from us) He said he was going to stay at his moms (across town from us) so it wouldn’t be a problem getting him to school. (He’s taken him to school one other time so I wasn’t worried about him getting him there.) We went to pick him up Monday as usual (we have 2 other kids in school and one goes to the same school as cole, which is nice.) and the dad showed up and said he was keeping cole the whole week. It finally came to our attention when my daughter got papers served to her that said the dad had filed for temporary custody and she was only going to have 2 hour visitations.!! He actually claimed that he’s been the sole provider for Cole for the last 3 years and that Cole has lived with him at his moms the whole time. (unbelievable) My daughter got a lawyer and explained the situation to him and he asked my husband if he’d sign an affidavit stating the truth about cole’s residency, and so he did. Now the dad is angry at us for interfering and won’t let us see him either. He gave the school the temporary custody papers and now we can’t even pick him up. We found out that he quickly moved into his moms house and that he never had his name on the lease where he shared an apartment out of town with 3 other guys. So we have an emergency hearing set for January 6th to prove that cole has lived with us this whole time. (the judge tried to get one before Christmas break but the dads lawyer wouldn’t return any calls and the docket was also full) In the meanwhile, cole is begging to come home and doesn’t understand why he cant. AND ITS CHRISTMAS! We went to have a talk with the dad (at his mom’s house) hoping to bring Cole home and we were told that the only way we’d get cole is to agree with his lies. I actually taped the whole conversation (I live in Kansas where only 1 party has to know the conversation is being taped, I believe) and he admitted all of it. He’s trying to get out of the child support and the back child support basically, and he’s using Cole as a pawn. So now, its 2 days before Christmas, Cole is confused as to why he can’t come home, my girls are devastated because Cole is more like their brother than their nephew, and I’m beside myself with grief. So here’s my question………when he brings him over for the lousy 2 hour visit on Christmas eve, what would happen if we refused to let him go back???? My husband and I have an appointment with our own lawyer tomorrow to try to get grandparents rights as well. But I’m more concerned about right now. I want him home. So, what would happen if we just refused once we got him back? Say he calls the police and shows them that paper? Will they make us return him? Someone told me the police wouldn’t get involved because it was a civil matter. That they would just make sure he was safe and that would be it. Is that true?
    Thank you.

    1. If you knowingly violate a court order you will likely be held in contempt of court and fined and possibly even jailed. Not complying with a court order is a bad idea, and will only make you look bad in the eyes of the judge – who, by the way, will be your judge for the entire case. Getting off on the wrong foot here is a bad idea! Get a lawyer, there is no way to beat another lawyer than by having one yourself – there’s a reason they spent 3-years and $100,000.00+ on their education!

  112. What happens if a father has court ordered visitation rights and occasionally the mother denies him the child. The father has called the police and received a couple a police reports. How many police reports does he need to collect in order to go back to court. Also the mother and her boyfriend are trying to get a restraining order against the father claiming that he is harassing and threatening them. Will this affect the fathers visitation rights?

  113. my son called me crying last friday night, he was at his apartment that he shares with his girlfriend and 2 year old son. his girlfriend came home after a night out drinking while he was home with his son, and asked him to leave , my son being a very mellow man just agreed to leave not wanting a scene in front of his child. Then he found out the reason she wanted him to leave was because she was bringing another man home that night.Since then he has come to stay with me, he cries all the time and misses his son. she let him take him overnight last weekend and agreed to let him have him this thursday till saturday. Well today he got a call from a nieghbor of where she still resides(his apartment) that she left thier son in the care of this man she just met and the nieghbor was concerned for his sons safety, because she knows this guy. Me and my son went up there and picked up his 2 year old and not wanting to get into any trouble by getting accused of kidnapping his own son we took the child to her moms house, where the child is uasually cared for while the mom works, and explained that we got a call and we were concerned. well by the time we got there the cops were called and they contacted my son. we waited at his exs moms house for the police and explained the situation. they believed we did nothing wrong and that they shouldnt have even been called.Before all this happened I was not allowed to even pick up my grandson and take him to a park for an hour, she said he doesnt do well with people he dont know and didnt think i could deal with him. I am this childs biological grandma and was not allowed to even spend time with him unless she or my son was there, but she will leave him with a man she just met for the day. To make a long story short, now the mom is withholding thier son from his dad.we went to the court house to file for 50 50 custody and she had already beat us there, the court date is not until feb 11, is there any help for my son to see his son before then? She had initally agreed to no child support(she make triple what my son does) and 50 50 placement, now she is not responding to his text or phone calls..any suggestions

    1. Finding agreement is always the best solution, so things don’t get out of control. But if she is going to fight, he should file an emergency motion for visitation and allege that he hasn’t seen his child in a long time. This will get him in front of a judge in a matter of days, not waiting until Feb. 11. He needs to fight hard and fast to get the fathers rights he deserves.

  114. My sons father has not seen him in over 7 years. He has recently been released from prison on domestic battery charges. (He has multiple other domestic charges, none of them are related to me or my son.) Aside from seeing him twice 7 years ago he had not seen him since he was 6 months old. He is now contacting me telling me he would like (in his words) “Sign over his rights or if he has to pay see his son”. Obviously, he only feels he should see him if he has paid for him. (Which in 15 years I have received $1,500. Which really doesn’t matter, he can keep his money!) He tried to take me to court in 2008 to enforce visitation. (This of course if after he missed 2 visitations and never went to the status hearing.) The judge told him his visitation was revoked and he gave him a list of things to do before he could ask for visitation again. Now, with his new threats of visitation every day I am wondering: Can he get visitation with the domestic charges he has, the fact he has not seen my son but twice in 15 years and does my child have a say in if he wants to see him or not? I have previously paid for a lawyer for the other times he has taken me to court and my lawyer has since passed away. I would like to give my son some reassurance. He is in a panic over the idea of having to spend time with a man he does not know who has a violent past? Anything would be appreciated and thank you for your time.

    1. He may have some rights to visitation but I doubt a judge would force overnight visits in this case. At most, what I would expect, is an every-other week arrangement that is supervised for a few hours. That is normally how these types of cases begin if the judge grants any visitation at all. You would also ask a judge to appoint a guardian ad litem or a child representative who would interview you, dad, and your child to get a feeling what is best for your son. Give us a call and we can go over some details with you.

  115. My husband has visitation during spring, winter and summer breaks as his daughter lives in Colorado with her mom.We live in Pennsylvania. Now that our christmas visit is coming up, she advised him that they are going to California for vacation and that he would have to buy her plane ticket from there instead and that she would not put her on the plane untilt the day after christmas. Is this considered parental kidnapping, or anything of the sort since she is taking her child out of her home state and keeping her away when it is her father’s court appointed time to visit her dad? She constantly breaks the court order and we are in the process of waiting for another court date to try and get custody. But she contstantly breaks the order and seems to not care since she always gets away with it.

  116. Is i get visitation everyother weekend can mother dictate my time. She is telling me the childs grandmother, my mom is not to baby sit or be at her house. My mother did a great job raising me and loves time with my child. This said the childs mother is not aloud to tell me how to spend my time.”

  117. So my question is this, I live in Illinois and my child and mom live in New Jersey, since they have moved we have followed the visitation schedule with no problem, however, now the mom is telling me that my child who is “5” is saying she doesn’t want to come here for my scheduled xmas vacation with her in which I feel her mom is persuading that, but that’s another issue. Now the mom says if child who is 5 says she doesn’t want to come here, she doesn’t have to send her even though its’ court ordered. Can you tell me is that accurate? I would think that since there’s a court order here in illinois that established that, could she legally not send her even though it’s court appointed? Also, because their in New Jersey now and this was entered in illinois, what would be the procedure if she doesn’t follow the order? Would I have to petition courts in N.J now since their there now, or could I go back to where we had everything established? Please any advice on this matter would be helpful

    1. Family Law Advice

      Call us immediately. You have a case where you can enforce the court order here in Illinois. The problem is that she has not violated the order until she doesn’t send the child back for Christmas. An Illinois child custody lawyer would file a petition beforehand alleging to the judge that mom is refusing to follow the visitation schedule and the judge would order her to abide by it. Also, was she granted leave to remove the minor child from the state of Illinois? If not, she may be in violation on those grounds as well. If a court order says you have visitation, it does not matter if a child is 17 years old, you get the child and it is her responsibility to make sure you get your visitation or she will be held in contempt of court. Act fast, there isn’t much time!

  118. My wife recently gave full custody of her daughter to the child’s father. Long story made short, she became extremely rebellious at age 14, out of control, ran away from home and we worried for the safety of the younger kids, who are mine. I carried for the child for almost 10 years. Currently, given the harassments from the child’s father and the disrespectful behavior of the child, we decided not to get involved with either one of them, a decision that did not come easy. My wife was served with child support. She has been a stay at home mom for 10 years. She is currently pursuing self employment in sales to comply with child support, allowing her the ability to balance all her responsibilities. How will this affect her child support? Also, how is her decision to stay away from them affect her parental rights and her support issues? For 2 years she tried to work with her daughter and the father but it became emotionally draining and was beginning to affect the rest of the family negatively, taking verbal abuse from both of them. That is why we chose to keep a distance for the time being. Please advise. Thank you.

  119. My divorce was final several years ago. We had joint custody with me supposed to be getting my son every other weekend. Every time but once I was told no he could not go with me because he had some kind of sports practice or game to go to and the ex was afraid I would not take him to the function. In 5-6 years time I have seen my son 1 weekend and that was even cut short due to the ex insisting on me bringing my son back. He is over 18 now and it is probably a mute point but he has no relationship with me and really has nothing to do with me thanks to her actions. I am wondering what if anything can I do about this? The emotional turmoil I am going through is heart stopping and is very stressful at times. I have learned to deal with the issue but it is still hard to accept at times. Please any information will be helpful. Thank you and have a great day.

    1. Family Law Advice

      I’m sorry to hear about your strained relationship with your son. unfortunately, the time to have done something about this egregious behavior on the part of your ex-wife would have been 5-years ago when he was still a minor and she was violating the Parenting Agreement that the Judge ordered. It is terrible when we hear stories like this because the damage that exes like her to do their children is irreparable at times. What I would have recommended back 5-years ago was for you to have a Petition for a Rule To Show Cause to be filed against your ex for violating the agreement. Yes, you would have been responsible for making sure he got to his sporting events and extracurricular activities, but that would have been tie with him rather than with her. It is a shame that she did this, but unfortunately, there is no recourse in courts at this time for the alienation you now have. Child custody matters and child visitation problems plague many dad’s, which is why it is necessary to always have a father’s rights attorney on your side when going through divorce like this. Best of luck.

  120. My sons dad was granted visitation three days a week and has missed almost every one, taking him very rarely but continually harassing me about stuff not related to our son. I was told by someone that legally after so many missed visits I don’t have to let him have any. Is this true or do I have to continue being verbally abused and harassed by him?

  121. Despite court ordered specified visitation where I am to have our child 4 days per week and one month over the summer, my abusive ex refused to return our child to me 5 months ago and has only allowed me to see our child for 55 hours total in the last 5 months. I keep showing up to collect our child on my specified access days, and my ex refuses to release our child to me, and keeps our child in his home while I am ringing the doorbell trying to collect our child. Or else he telks me that he already has plans for our child on my days to have him. There are prior police reports from 4 years ago when he had breaches of visitation and threatened me that he was going to take our child away from me and not return our child. He claims our child doesn’t want to live with me anymore and says he won’t force our child to see me if our child doesn’t want to. What is the best way for me to handle this?

    1. Your ex is breaking the law. This is called Visitation Interference (check your state here: State Criminal Visitation Interference ) and, in almost every state, is a prosecutable offense that is taken quite seriously. You need to document this by calling the police and detailing every single instance where you have been denied visitation. Then, you need to file a Petition for Rule to Show Cause and ask that the court hold your ex in contempt of court for violating the judges direct court order. Do this soon, waiting any longer will make it look like you don’t care. I would advise speaking with a child custody attorney in your area by filling out the form on our site – its free and you will even get a free consultation.
      Good luck!

  122. MomInNeed of Answers

    On March 28 2013 my sons dad came to pick up our 2 boys 7 and 3 for his normal visit. Just this time he was gonna be on vacation and asked to keep them for that week. I didn’t feel there was anything wrong since he did pay child support and was picking up our boys weekly on his days off of work. Well when I called him after his vacation was to over he asked me if I received the letters he left for me on my front door I didn’t know what he was talking about he said to open the front door so I did and there were custody papers and modification of child support. Told me to look at that court date and be there and I was not going to see our boys till then. Is that legal to do and come to find out he moved out of his residents and I have no idea where he lives also he pulled my son out of school without me knowing is that right? Also our 7 year old son has a disability doing all this to him isn’t good. I have no idea where he is going to school at and where there are at. What can I do ? I called to speak to our boys and there father quickly tells me what do I want there happy with him and I will see them once we go to court. On my court papers I noticed that the father of my sons signed the proof of service he is able to do that nor did I get served I opened my front door and there on the ground? Can someone help me with this maybe give me some kind of direction in what to do ?

    1. Family Law Advice

      This is a big deal and unfortunately, a complex area that cannot be answered by simply responding here on the site. Please speak with one of our family law experts who can talk to you and give you some real one on one guidance. Please do so quickly.

  123. I appreciate the quick response as i am very concerned. I have another question. Myself and my childs mother lived in the state of Georgia when we divorced and i was awarded custody and the mother still lives there however my daughter and i have lived in Tennessee since 2000 and the papers i was served with are for a court date in Georgia can i make her have to file in Tennessee (change the venue) without having to hire an attorney ?

  124. I won sole legal and physical custody of my daughter in 2000 and her mother got every other weekend and wednesday evening until 9pm visitation, since that time she has been in and out of my daughters life, in and out of prison and county jail for various things such as drugs (meth & marijuana) and bad checks, she is currently on probation and has recently been charged with violation of probation. I have refused to let my daughter who is now 16 go to her mothers. I have never refused to let her see her she has always been told she was welcome to come see her whenever she wanted and she attended her 16th birthday party recently and just a week ago came to my home to visit her and when i saw she was not under the influence i allowed the two of them to take my vehicle with my daughter driving out to eat to spend time together. Today i was served with papers for a court date for contempt after 13 years. I fear for the safety of my child when she is in her mothers care and am wondering if i am fighting a losing battle trying to make sure her visits are supervised. When my child found out her mom went back to jail this past year her mom told her “I wasn’t doing meth it was only marijuana”

    1. familylawrights

      Enforcing supervised visitation with a woman that is putting her own life in danger by taking dangerous and illegal drugs is the right thing to do. If you need help setting this up, our expert child custody lawyers can help. We handle cases like this every day, you are not alone. Stay strong, you have been the foundation of your child’s life. Give us a call for a free consultation if you have more questions or don’t know what next steps to take.

  125. Onefathertoanother

    Ok i see you keep saying get an attorney, But what if you cannot afford an attorney? What do you do then? I live in Illinois and it seems there are many avenues for moms to get aid and services from the state and local government and none of these services have a fathers help area. I see a lopsided legal system in this perspective.

    1. familylawrights

      Well, I hate to put it this way, but there aren’t that many lawyers that will handle too many cases for free–they’ve got bills, rent, mortgages, etc. to pay like everyone else, so they pick and choose who they want to work for, and many view women as more of a victim than an able bodied man who can at the very least pick up a shovel and earn some income. It’s not necessarily right, but just the way it is. However, many attorneys will take payment plans. As far as legal aid, depending where you live in Illinois, there are clinics that can help you out. If in Cook County, check out the CARPL’s program–its is very helpful and will provide you with example petitions and motions to prepare you for filing your own paperwork. Good luck, and I hope that all goes well. It’s not easy, but you can do it by using resources normally available in your local county court. Go here to check out some help topics and forms: Good luck!

  126. I Lived in CT with a girl friend. She got pregnant. Well it didn’t work out and my dad got sick so I moved back home to Alabama. Before I left. I took any chance the mother gave me to see my daughter. I payed put of court child support. If I went shopping for my daughter, everything was returned for money. When I told her I was leaving, I asked the mother for visitation when i get settled, she told me she was never going to allow our daughter to stay with me alabama. I left, my father passed away, as I was dealing with that. The mother asked me to give up my rights or she was taking me to court for more child support. I refused. And She did.I tried to fight it but it seemed like a lost cause, plus I wanted to support my kid.I want to make sure she is taking care of. Anytime mother and i talked on the phone we argued, never giving me a chance to talk to my daughter. Two years later, I remarried a wonderful woman, got our own place. A good job. And thenI was served with more papers for a name change something I Do Not Want. I just don’t know what to do. SHould I try now for visitation or has it been to long. I can’t afford a lawyer. My Credit sucks. But do I keep paying child support for a child I never get to see, not even pictures? The mother has blocked me from social sites. I send holiday cards with no reply back….I need help. I want to see mty daughter but I don’t think my bitch of an ex girlfriend won’t let me. PLus, we live 16 hours away from each other.

    1. It is never too long to fight for your children. Getting out of state overnight visitations probably will take some time, most judges are not comfortable with putting a young child on a plane with a parent who is practically a stranger. However, if you can make a trip or two a year out there to see her, request the court to allow every other day skype or phone visitation, after awhile, you may get more rights! And yes, you must pay your child support regardless. The two are not connected in any way–even if you don’t see her at all, you must pay the support amount. My advice? file a Petition to Establish a Father and Child Relationship (commonly known as a “Complaint for Parentage” in the county courts where she lives, and ask for telephonic visitation and visitation when you are in town provided you give 14 days notice or something along those lines.
      Don’t give up, and good luck!

    2. My daughter, age 11, is in a guardianship case. I am a working father and the non relative guardians claim my daughter doesn’t want to visit anymore. Iv’e had to go to court just to establish visitation. I am documenting the fact the denial of court ordered visitation.
      What can I do?

  127. I’m in Texas, awarded joint custody, mother primary. She is in violation on several points of orders in effect, she lives out of state and changed residence without any notice. I have evidence of her interference. I have failed to pay child support because of the hardship of having to track her down (she lives out of state and was allowed to remain). Should I petition for modification or file for contempt? Can I do both at the same time? I wish to have primary or at least obtain geographic restriction to Texas. Thank you for your time.

    1. If there is an order in court for parentage (custody, visitation, etc) and she left the state, then she has committed a serious violation and can be held in contempt, and possibly even criminal charges if done so in violation of a court order and without your consent. File a Petition for Rule To Show Cause / Petition for Adjudication of Indirect Civil Contempt to enforce your rights and fight for your family!

  128. I havent had contact with my ex wife for over a month she has moved never contacted me about moveing I’m supose to have my children every weekend. went by here house, the landlord said she moved out of state what can i do?.

    1. Get an attorney immediately! There are serious time constraints on your ability to affect your rights. If there is a custody order granting you visitation in your divorce judgment your ex is not allowed to remove the children from your state and the courts can force her to bring them back or be arrested. Get help immediately, this is no time to delay another moment.

  129. I have complained for years now that my daughter and mom are only interested in money and not my visitation. I have not seen her since 2007 for one night, she will not return my calls her or mom. I complained numerous times to AG office but was told to seek an attorney. But when I lost my job due to lay off, AG’s office was very fast in contacting and threatening me. I never missed a payment while working but after layoff I got behind. Still I would often complain about my visitation rights but to no avail. It is now 2013 and I haven’t seen her since 2007. I was not Invited to her graduation ceremonies or the graduation itself. They would not even tell me where she was going to college and to this day, still has not returned any calls to me.

    1. What a sad story. Unfortunately, once she has turned 18 and graduated from high-school, your visitation rights end, and there is not much you can do to fight back against the wrong doings of your ex anymore. Let this be a lesson for all others out there–if you do not hire an expert attorney, you will lose your family and find yourself in debt owing back child support for a child or children you never even had the opportunity to spend time with.

  130. I dont know what my best option is at this point ok here goes my sons dad and I are no longer on good terms because he beat the crap out of me when I was 16 and threw my son off the bed in a drunken rage and now that I am in another relationship he avoids me and his son and he has visit rights that he hasnt complied with for almost a year now can his parental visits be terminated for good?

    1. Generally, parental rights can not be terminated. This is because public policy dictates that, when possible, it is better for children to have contact with both parents. Terminating parental rights is frowned upon by the court system, but, if you were to remarry and your ex were to sign off on the paperwork, an adoption of your new husband would be possible, thus giving up the biological father’s rights in most instances. The best way to find out is to get a free child custody attorney evaluation by filling out the form on our site. Good luck!

  131. I just speak with someone on the behalf of child rights to get to see my son I’m not in a relationship with the other parent

    1. We fight for visitation rights and we believe that the noncustodial parent deserves to have the right to see their children on a regular basis. Numerous studies show that a child with a good relationship with both parents does better in school and succeeds in life. Getting your parental rights to visitation with your child is important. You should get started immediately! Make sure that you have your life in order–a room and/or bed for your child to sleep in for overnight visitation, and keep it clean–if an in-house evaluation is ordered and your house in not in order, it will not turn out well for you!

    2. The first thing that is needed is for you to speak with an attorney, because this process is not simple. You will need to have the other parent served with a petition to establish parentage so that you can show that you are the father. The court may order a DNA test, so this will need to be done as well. If she fails to comply with these orders, the court can order the sheriff to pick her up and bring her to court. Once you have established parentage of your child in court, the judge will order you to begin paying child support and will also order a visitation schedule. If you do not have a father’s rights advocate on your side, getting a visitation agreement and a parenting agreement that works for you will be difficult, as the court will not write you a long parenting agreement, only an father’s rights attorney can do that for you.

  132. I left my fiancé when she was 6 months pregnant the reason I gave her was that I wanted to hang out with friends more but truthfully that was not the only resson i wlso left her for another woman the female I left her for is 18 and I am 24 my ex fiancé at the time is 31 she already had 2 kids that are 15 and 11 but I wanted a child of my own so we planned to have a baby together we found out she was pregnant in February of 2012 the other girl and I worked together and were friends then we starterd our affair in march and when my ex fiance got to be around 6 months I left her for the other girl but my ex and I never stopped seeing each other the baby was born and she would let me take him to stay overnight an my new place with my new girlfriend and eventually the new girlfriend found out about my ex and I and I had to go live with my mother the same day I told my ex I was ready to raise our son with her and she took me back I still kept in contact with the other girl my ex fiancé told me she understood that the girl was hurt and that the girl and I still worked together and she would give it a few days and patiently wait for me to stop associating with the other girl around a week after we got back together she asked me if I would get mad if she told me it was time to quit talking to her that enough time had went by and it was time to break contact with her except for at work my response was but she’s my friend she responded so you don’t want to quit talking to her I gave her the same answer that she was my friend and I didn’t want to then I asked her if she would get mad if I needed a few days to figure out what I want i didnt tell her this part of it I don’t think that I was ready to be a full time dad and the other girl and I decided to work it out she took me asking her that pretty hard she cried and begged me not to do this to our family again I left her in the apartment my sister lives in she let us stay there while she was gone (my ex and I had a house but after I left her she could not affiord to keep it and her and the kids had to move in with her mother)she was crying her eyes out it was bad saying over and over please don’t do this i went outside the apartment to call the other girl and arrange a time and place to meet at because I was getting ready to take her back to my parents house where her car was went back inside told her to get the baby ready to go on the way I told her not to call or text for a while to give me time when I dropped them off she thanked me for our son and for the time we had together I left went and met the other girl and took her back to my sisters with me all this was on a Sunday I didn’t talk to her again except for a text i sent on wednesday telling her that the other girl and i were going to try and work things out she replied with she already knew that she knew it sunday when i dropped her off i asked her how she knew she told me she just did it was obvious on Friday i texted her that I wanted to get the baby for the weekend and she said the only way I could was if I stayed at my mothers with him that he was not allowed to come to the other girls house where I live her and that any time i wanted to see him i had to come to my mothers house her reasons for this were because I was with her, I walked out on her twice, I was irraresponsible, a liar, and that I always cancel every time I am suppose to come see him or go to dr appointments with them I explained to her that I wasent going to come down there just to see him for a few hours that if I came it was going to be to bring him home with me that it was ridiculous that the only way I could keep him overnight was to stay at my moms and I’m not doing that I told her that she can’t do that or tell me where I can see him at she says she is the mother and she can do whatever she wants that she can decide who he is allowed to be around and where he can go and that the other girl will not be a part of his life because she was the reason our son was going to grow up with a part time dad and that I committed adultery and walked out twice i told her it wasent a problem him being around the other girl before why is it a problem now she said she never eanted him around her but she couldnt tell me no because she didnt want to make me mad because she didnt want me to stop seeing her but now she dosnt care if i get mad my question is can she do that can she keep me from taking my son to our house and does the adultery matter considering we were not married can anyone tell me what the laws are on something like this is there anything I can do will it do me any good to get a lawyer or is she right does she get to decide everything

    1. If you are being denied your visitation rights, you need to speak with an attorney and get into court as soon as possible. This is no time to wait or explore your options-the time is for action. Denial of visitation rights and visitation orders is a crime in some states and is contempt in almost every state. Get started immediately.

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