Last Updated on September 23, 2022 @ 4:20 pm

Every state has its own requirements and formula for determining the amount of child support that one parent should be paying to the other parent. Typically, but not in all states, the parent that must pay support is referred to as the “non-custodial parent.” This would be the parent that has less parenting time with the child than the other parent. In the vast majority of states, the formulas are incredibly complex and many attorneys use specially designed software that costs hundreds or even thousands of dollars per year to properly calculate child support.  Expert child support attorneys provide free consultations to people struggling to understand their states child support laws.

How Much Child Support Should You Be Paying?

This is the million-dollar question every parent that owes a duty to pay child support asks. Most states follow some type of calculation known as “income shares” to determine the amount of child support that should be paid, if any at all. The amount that gets calculated through a complex formula is typically referred to as a ‘guideline support’ amount. The state-specific factors that most courts may consider are: the income of both parents; deductions such as alimony or child support for a different child; and childcare, healthcare, and unique expenses. There is also the option of a court determining support entirely outside of the guideline child support formula through a process of “determining the needs of the child,” although this method is exceedingly rare and normally only applies for certain circumstances like a child with special needs or a child that has some type of substantial income.

Keep in mind that a few states have different methods, such as the “Melson Formula” and “Percentage of Net Income” formula for calculating child support. The Melson Formula takes into account each parent having enough money to meet their basic needs as well, whereas the Income Shares method and Net Income method do not. Only a few states follow the Melson formula, so making an argument that you can’t pay your rent because you are paying too much support will not be a valid excuse in virtually every case outside of those few states.

Most guideline support amount calculations also attempt to account for the amount of time spent with each parent, increasing the child support amount when a non-custodial parent does not spend much time with his or her child. In some states, the amount of child support does not change until you hit a certain percentage of overnights with a child (such as greater than 40%, which is 146-nights or more). This is especially true in most states that follow either the Income Shares formula or the Melson formula. Typically, Net Income formula states do not look at overnights as a reason to increase or decrease support unless the parenting time is equal (50/50). Therefore, a situation involving sole custody and limited visitation / parenting time is likely to result in a larger amount of child support than one featuring extensive visitation or shared custody in certain states.

Does the State Make Mistakes Calculating Support?

Yes, quite often, actually. Non-custodial parents should be aware of their child support rights and should be prepared to enforce them if the amount of support awarded seems too high. Many people presume that their state child support guidelines provide for the correct amount of financial support. However, it may be possible to obtain a lower or higher amount of child support. Here’s what you have to remember: when the State handles a child support case, that case is probably one out of a million that they have. The departments that handle the accounting (recording payments made, amounts owed, etc.) are often overworked and pay little attention to each individual case. Because of this, mistakes happen. And they happen quite often.

Child Support Modification

Child support orders can be modified on a temporary or permanent basis. If the non-custodial parent loses a job or develops a temporary medical condition that affects earnings ability, support may be temporarily lowered. If this adult incurs a disability or is forced to take a lesser-paying job, a permanent adjustment may be in order. Technically, child support amounts are never “permanent”, even though they are referred to as “permanent” by lawyers and judges when a case is being finalized. Child support orders can be modified whenever a substantial change in circumstances arises. This does NOT mean that if you make $20/hour and work 40-hours a week and you change jobs and now earn $19.50/hour support can be modified. Typically, the amount of change needs to be somewhat substantial – like losing a job and/or having a new job that you earn $15/hour. A change in support of $10-$20/month would likely not be nearly substantial enough to justify the cost of hiring a lawyer or enough for a judge to recalculate support.

Can Child Support Be Lowered?

Absolutely, child support orders can be lowered and reduced in a variety of ways. Most of the time that child support is lowered is because the parent that has to pay support shows the court that a “substantial change in circumstances” has arisen since the last time a child support court order was entered. This is typically because of the loss of a job, having overtime eliminated from their position, the parents changing the parenting schedule to allow for more overnights to the parent paying support, or having another child with a different person. Non-custodial parents attempting to lower child support payments must prove these “changed circumstances” to justify a reduction in child support, whether the guidelines be a specific percentage of a non-custodial parents net income, or are based on the needs of the child.

Oftentimes, a child support award might be determined on a year to date paycheck stub that makes it look like a parent is going to earn a lot more money over the year than they actually will earn. this happens when people work a lot of overtime at the beginning of the year or may have received a bonus. This can throw off the calculation because it increases the average amount of income per check, which likely won’t be correct by the end of the year. Simply using a child support calculator without an attorney will make getting this information explained to the court impossible. Other reasons why child support should possibly be lowered is when a parent has certain special circumstances, such as medical issues or a type of chronic illness. This ends up being a judges decision whether the calculation should be adjusted downward.

Other times, a court may award too much child support based on inaccurate documentation provided by the custodial parent. Unfortunately, some primary caregivers are not honest about their income and assets when attempting to get child support. A non-custodial parent should obtain representation from an expert child support lawyer to protect their rights. By proving that income or savings is being hidden, or that a non-custodial parent has been paying money to the parent outside of the court order (or paying for certain expenses like school, extracurricular activities, or medical bills) he or she may be able to decrease the child support award. One thing a non-custodial parent should never do is make a habit of paying cash to the other parent. If you go to court and claim that you paid hundreds or even thousands of dollars in cash to the other parent and that parent lies, the judge will act as though it never happened – use a check, money order, bank transfer, and/or get a receipt and acknowledgement from the other parent to protect yourself.

Can Child Support Be Increased?

Yes, child support can be increased. Whenever a substantial change in circumstances arises, child support can be modified. This means that it can be increased based on a number of factors and reasons. It may be that the custodial parent loses their job, or the non-custodial parent begins earning substantially more money than when the last child support order was entered. The non-custodial parent may have also lied about their income or withheld important and relevant financial information that has now come to light.

Child support might also be increased when the needs of a child have increased or other expenses begin to pop up, as often happens as children get older. This may include insurance, medical bills, childcare, extracurricular activity expenses, or a health issue that requires more money to care for a child. One way that makes it easier to monitor the other parents income to see if child support should be increased is to have the initial parenting plan and child support order require the non-custodial parent to turn over their tax documents each year. With the non-custodial parents tax documents (W-2’s, K-1’s, 1099’s, and filed tax returns) turned over every year, the parent that is owed support can run a preliminary calculation to see if the amount should increase based on the non-custodial parents income.

Child Support Help

A child support attorney can help a non-custodial parent determine whether the child support figure is too high or too low. If the calculation is off or if there is a substantial change in circumstances (or special circumstances exist), a child support attorney will build and present a case to modify and change the financial obligation on a temporary or permanent basis. This would be done by a family law attorney filing a motion known as a Petition to Modify Child Support. The Petition (Motion) would point out the changes that have arisen and ask for bot parties to provide proof of their current income, expenses, and certain assets to re-do the calculation based on the facts and circumstances of the individual case. The non-custodial parent will ordered to pay a fair amount of child support, but no more and no less than is required under the law. Learning your child support rights is as easy as connecting with an attorney that provides a free consultation (they all do here!).

260 thoughts on “Are You Paying Too Much Child Support?”

  1. My husband currently has two different court orders for Child Support. One Final Court Order in Georgia. He was ordered to pay 594/month for one 9 year old child. The mother lied about the amount she paid in child care when his son doesn’t even actually go to any before or after school program. At the time they both had a gross amount of around 3400/month so making around 40k a year. So then his second child with another mother he got a temporary order paying 604/month in SC and they also both have comparable incomes but for some reason they didn’t deduct the amount he already pays for the previous order from his gross amount when calculating the second amount. Both of these orders only came when he decided to take them to court so that he could see his children on a consistent basis. We have another child. A new baby that was born after the final GA order was done and in the midst of the temporary order for SC. That has not been finalized but something seems unfair about him paying 1200/month for two children and only making 40k a year not to mention both mothers making around the same amount he makes a year. Actually the one in GA makes a little more than him now bringing in around 4000 a month rather than 3400. Both Mothers took their orders to DSS and now his checks are being garnished. He can’t even help pay for daycare, rent or formula for our new baby. The garnishment is calculating 139/weekly then an extra 5% for being past due 12 weeks and then a collection cost. The 5% past due amt they calculated based on the monthly amount they are charging every week. As well as the 2.95% collection cost. That doesn’t add up and something doesn’t seem right in the calculations all together. Is it worth him trying to get a modification for GA? SC is still pending so he will be able to go before the judge and speak to his circumstances changing since the initial ordered amount. Thank you for your help!!

    1. Were the current orders factored in to the amounts he is paying? What happens a lot of the time is that one court (especially if in another state) does not take an amount he is paying into account when doing the calculation, which can make both amounts end up being lowered. Now, if this was done properly and there is no issue with how the calculations were run, he is just in a tough spot and there isn’t much that can be done.
      When it comes to the courts, they do not care about how difficult it is for him or if he has trouble paying rent, etc. Their main concern is that the children are properly supported financially. A lot of the time, this means that the numbers, because there are multiple cases, are not fair for him – but again, the Judge does not care about that at all and that argument will never work.
      But, since the modification could affect 2-separate orders, the amount that it could be lowered overall between both cases could be a decent enough amount that it would be worth trying to modify both.
      Give our team a call, you likely need to have someone in each state to talk to so that they can run the numbers properly. Good luck!

  2. My boyfriend had custody of his kids (ages 4 and 6) for 3 years . His ex left them and he moved on . 3 years later she comes knocking on his doorstep asking for him to take her back and her newborn (from her new spouse ). He declines , she takes him to court , told the judge he was violent( no proof was ever given that he was violent just hearsay) she is the violent one and they gave her full/physical custody. She decides to move 2 hours away and the court gave him visitation , Friday from 6pm to Sunday at 6pm every other weekend. He doesn’t have a reliable car and can’t afford to travel. She has only had full/physical/sole custody for a year and he has had the kids in his care a majority of the time . She said she was homeless multiple times and went to jail for domestic violence towards her new spouse . Every single time he went to pick them up because he is truly fearful for his kids and wants to make sure they are okay. He enrolled them in school and made sure they were taken of care of .She now has 4 kids living with her jumping house to house while he has lived in the same house since the children were born . He does everything by the book and wants to involved in his kids lives . Every single time she stated she was homeless or her new spouse stated she was in jail or that it was best if the kids stay with him the judges would ignore him and deny his request. He went to court to try and decrease his child support payments but they raised it instead . Child support is now taking 1,050.00 from him and he his behind in arrears , behind on bills , and can’t move forward because he had to make sure they were taken care of . He makes 3000.00 a month. He filed for a Jackson/trainotti credit for the months they were in his care but somehow some of his receipts went missing when the clerk filed it. Now he has to file again . He’s lost , our family is stressed out and tired . He’s not sure what to do next .

  3. My husband has been paying $400 a month for years now for his 2 children, but also helps her with anything she asks if we can afford to. She has never worked so she is always asking for money and her boyfriend supports her and those kids. My husband got a better job and now she wants more money because she doesn’t want to work. We offered to pay half for the select sports teams and that wasn’t good enough she wanted him to pay for it all. So now she is taking him back to court. We get the kids every other weekend, we live 90 miles away but we have to go pick them up and bring them back. How is fair that she can just ask for more money because she doesn’t want to work but can work. She’s trying to take all our money because she’s lazy and wants to make him suffer.

    1. He also provides health insurance & whatever the insurance doesn’t cover she gets it paid by Medicaid. We could afford more but he has a garnishment being taken out of check because of a bill they incurred years ago but she can’t pay so they came after him & now he’s stuck paying an $8000 garnishment that she gets out of because she doesn’t work. None of this is fair.

    2. Child support is always a tricky subject because of the exact situation you describe. Here’s the tough part: it doesn’t matter what she does or doesn’t do with the money you pay to her for support. It doesn’t matter if another person is also providing support (ie. her new husband). Child support is nothing more than more than a math formula – a calculation.
      Nebraska follows what many states call an “income shares model” for the calculation of support. A number pops out, and that is how much the person that has to pay is ordered to pay.

      There are a few reasons to ‘deviate’ from this guideline child support amount, but they are rare and primarily depend on if a child or parent is disabled or has some type of extraordinary health costs.

      On top of that, the court can order additional amounts of money to be paid toward educational, extracurricular, and healthcare expenses too. This is in addition to the child support amount.

      Most of these expenses are split evenly (50/50) but there can be exceptions where each person pays the percentage that their income represents toward the combined total (under the income shares model). In these instances, here is how it works:
      Example: Dad earns $60,000/year. Mom earns $40,000/year. That means that dad earns 60% of the TOTAL income ($100,000). So, he pays 60% of expenses, mom pays 40% of expenses.

      In your case, the court would likely pretend that mom is working at least a full-time job at minimum wage. The court would then use that number for calculating child support and the percentage towards child expenses. This is called “imputing income.”

      It sounds like you need a child custody and child support attorney to make sure the support amount is properly calculated (it is a difficult formula) as well as setting a maximum amount on extracurricular expenses (maybe $500/parent/per child/per year at the most) to ensure that he is not being taken advantage of by his ex.

  4. A court in Anne Arundel county, MD asked me to pay $3,000 per month, in addition to providing health insurance and pay half of the unpaid medical expenses of the twins (4 years old) while the mother is contributing $0. I don’t know how to approach this situation at this point. Any help is appreciated.

    1. Wow, that certainly sounds like an awfully high amount of child support. For an order to be at $3,000 in Maryland, your income would need to be over $200,000/year and her income at $0.00/year. When you go over the maximum combined monthly income threshold of $15,000/month, the calculation begins to change for how much support you would have to pay.
      If your income is not over $200,000/year, I wonder if the actual support amount you have been ordered to pay is a smaller amount (maybe $1500/month?), and they then added in an additional amount of money to pay down past-due arrears (back support) and/or past-due medical expenses for the twins.
      This number is so high, you have no choice but to hire an experienced child custody and child support lawyer and get the math calculation correct. While this amount is certainly possible given the explanation above, it sounds like it could absolutely be a mistake that needs review.
      You can review some basic Maryland child support calculations online put out by the State as well and see what range it looks like you actually are in dependent on your income.

  5. I have a child custody case coming up on Wednesday. The mother of my child has 3 kids who she does not collect child support from even though he makes a ton of money working for cal-fire(California). I am only able to work 3 days a week and literally cant afford to eat 3 meals a day. I am trying to save up money to get my own place so that my 11month old daughter can stay with me. We are still going through a custody battle right now and that court date is set for 2 weeks after the child support case. As of now they are only allowing me to have 3 days of visits. 2hrs on Thursday and Friday, and 4hrs on Saturday. The amount they are asking to take will be 1/3rd of what I’m making altogether and I already am skipping meals. Is she allowed to use her other children as a $900 hardship when the other father is fully capable of paying? After all, she isnt having trouble raising our one child, she is having trouble raising 4 children. Why would I have to make up for the other children? Can they use a temporary custody percentage as a way to set the child support? I am asking for 50/50 custody but as of now they based it on a 5% custody amount. Is it worth mentioning that with 3 kids she would need a 3 bedroom home and with 4 kids she still only needs a 3bedroom home to show that her expenses shouldnt have risen very much from where she was already at? I have also bought my daughter a ton of stuff in which the mother told me is hers now and she can do what she wants with it, such as sell it if need be. I found out that she was cheating on me which is why we arent together and I called her some nasty names to which she filed a restraining order that the mediator told us probably isnt gonna stand. What are my chances of getting 50/50 custody? And is this stuff worth bringing up? Do I just have to accept that I cant get a home anytime soon and I have to starve(I’ve lost 15lbs in 45day already). What can I do here… I feel totally screwed and I feel like it’s not in the best interest of our daughter at all. She told me that she only filed for child support to get my attention back when we had gotten back together after a break up. She said since i was always trying to spend time with my daughter and bought her so much stuff constantly that she didnt need it. Now she is doing this as a spite thing. It’s totally wrong!

    1. This is a tough situation. When a parent has limited parenting time and it is memorialized in a court order, as it is here, the issue becomes why such a small amount of parenting time initially and the jump to expecting it to change to 50%/shared parenting time? This is what goes through the judge’s mind and something that you need to consider.
      Child support is just a math equation – it gets plugged in, and depending on income, amount of kids, etc., a number pops out.
      Other kids that she has do not necessarily come into play unless she is paying child support to someone – which doesn’t sound like is happening here.
      Child support is basically always ‘temporary’ in nature and can be modified whenever a substantial change in circumstances takes place (different parenting time, new job, loss of a job, etc.).

  6. My bf has two kids and currently pays about 900 a month for CS. Court ordered him to add kids to his insurance and oays about 500 for all three of them. He gets paid biweekly and is left with about 500 each check for his bills, calculating to about 1000 a month. He has been struggling with money and lives pay check to pay check, at times leaving him on negative and/or not being able to pay for bills. We live in Texas.

    His ex does not work. She swears she has tons of money saved up and that his money is not needed. She has a mortgage, car note, and bills to pay for. She is not married. Idk where she can get money for all that without a job. She has even sent screenshots to him of how much she spends shopping ($400+ each receipt) just to throw it in his face texting him that she doesn’t work and can still spoil herself since she knows he is struggling. All this of course not necessary.

    She swears she doesnt need his money but she has already committed fraud. They both go half on any medical bills that the insurance does not pay for. She usually sends him the invoices of what she has paid, and he would pay her his half. A few months ago we found out the invoices were fake. She would add about 100 on each so that she would get more money from him. We have proof of all this and have even confronted her. We tried consulting his attorney but she said there was nothing we could do.

    She is not allowed to go near me or his family, court orders, and she still does. Whenever she needs something from him she always wants it done right away so she goes looking for him at my house or at his family’s house. If he tries to work an agreement with her on when and where to meet she does not agree if it is not done when and how she wants it.

    Their case was closed in January. Is there any way he can get CS lowered even if it’s temporary so that it can ease some of thr stress if not having ends meet? Or what is it that we can do in this situation? Looking for advice. Thanks in advance.

    1. This amount of support sounds a little high, but it depends on a few factors, such as what his actual income is and whether he owes any arrears (back child support).
      Texas calculates support based on a percentage of net income. The amount he pays for health insurance is likely mostly for him, with a smaller amount for adding the kids. So, if he took the kids off, may times his insurance cost would only change from around $500/month to about $400/month or so.
      The main issue here is whether his income is properly calculated. Whatever deductions he has coming out of his check (withholding, etc.), do not necessarily mean that is what his actual net income is. For example, if he claims 4-dependents, he would get less money taken out of his check now and get a small tax return at year end. However, if he claimed 0 dependents, he would get a smaller paycheck now and a big tax return at year end.
      So his income needs to be correctly calculated for how much tax he actually owes, not how much is estimated and taken out of each paycheck.
      To be paying $900/month in child support, he would likely need to be earning somewhere in the range of $60,000 gross/year – that’s before taxes or anything else comes out of his checks.
      If he earns somewhere in this range, the child support amount sounds like it is probably correct, so any attempts at him lowering it would be pointless at this stage.
      However, as far as the medical reimbursement amounts are concerned, if he has actual proof of her changing the amounts that he has to pay her, and he can provide receipts of his payments to her, proof of bills and receipts paid by insurance and the doctors offices, he should absolutely file a motion and force her to either pay him back or to apply a credit against future amounts owed.
      Best of luck – reach out to our team of child support attorney specialists any time!

  7. My Ex teaches a night class 1 night a week. She hires a baby-sitter to come over and watch our kids while she “grades papers” or “prepares lesson plans” outside of work hours. She is claiming that I pay 1/2 of child care for up to 12 hours per day and up to 50 hours per week. She pays the babysitter $15 per hour to drive, so this is getting expensive. Am I responsible for 1/2 of child care costs on off-duty work hours if she is doing stuff “for work?”

    1. I’m mad as hell my brother was rise to take care his kids and that’s what he did, He has kids by two women now the kids is grown, he gotten these kids when he was in his teens. He took care the kids so good that the mothers would tell him that the kids need something, he would buy it and the mothers would take it back and get the money off it. The women family would use the kids to get money from my brother. Now his kids is all grown, My brother even do for his grand kids. His grown kids call him for money and he send it to them, if he don’t have it I give it to him to send them. They takes money from my brother even when they have money and more money then him because he love his kids, So I’m tell men to don’t give the money to the kids mother give it to the child support people if your not married to the mother. My brother went to court to get the arrears taken off him, The judge told him to go to the kids mothers because they could have it taken off him. Now my brother is married to another woman, they told him no you didn’t married me and I ant going to do nothing to help you. Men stop going out and getting these kids by different women. I know its fun when you young, But one day you going to want a wife and family and nine times out of ten it want be by a woman you have the outside kids by, Now this when your pass coming to bite you. Now it don’t matter how well you taking care the kids you cant prove it because you gave the money to the mothers and not the child support people. So please don’t let this happen to you, because believe me it will happen. It will have you homeless and the women want give a dam about you because you didn’t married one of them. And if you did you couldn’t married all of them so look out! Another thing if a woman married a man that has back child support on him I don’t know about all states but I know here in California they can take the wife income tams check for her husband out side kids. Or the husband could had cheated on his wife and gotten a outside kid on her and he owe back child support on that kids, look out wife, your income tax could be taken for your husband outside kid. This sad as hell and enough to make you stream and cry but it can happen here in California because I know women it have happen to.

  8. I currently pay $640 a month for one child. I also pay about $150/month is medical insurance and about an extra $200 in extra curricular activities. I currently have a 4 year old with my current wife as well that needs just as much attention. My ex is asking for more money, but refuses to get a job saying she gets compensated for being a “homemaker”(living off her husband and asking her parents to pay for things). I am also made to drive about 120 miles twice every 2 weeks to pick her up and drop her off, while my ex drives maybe 40 miles. She is constantly signing our daughter up for extra-curricular activities and now is trying to get her into a private school for $700 a month not including field trips, uniforms or extra-curricular activities. The courts are currently trying to order me to pay 833/month for one child. I bring in about 2200 after taxes. Is this normal?

    1. No, it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t work she should still be imputed at minimum wage. Your child support is for those extra activities…. you’re getting taken advantage of for sure…. what state?

      1. I’m mad as hell my brother was rise to take care his kids and that’s what he did, He has kids by two women now the kids is grown, he gotten these kids when he was in his teens. He took care the kids so good that the mothers would tell him that the kids need something, he would by it and the mothers would take it get the money back on it. The women family would use the kids to get money from my brother. Now his kids is all grown, My brother even do for his grand kids. His grown kids call him for money and he seen it to them, if he don’t have it I give it to him to send them. They takes money from my brother pay for arrears So I’m tell men to don’t give the money to the kids mother give it to the child support people if your not married to the mother. My brother went to court to get the arrears off him, the judge told him to go to the kids mothers because they could have it taken off him. Now my brother is married to another woman, they told him no you didn’t married me and I ant going to do nothing to help you. Men stop going out and getting these by different women. I know its fun when you young, But one day you going to want a wife and family and nine times out of ten it want be by a woman you have the outside by, Now this when your pass coming to bite you. Now nonmatter how well your taking care the kids you cant prove it because you gave the money to the mothers and not the child support people. So please don’t let this happen to you, because b believe me it will happen. It will have you homeless and the women want give a dam about you because you didn’t married one of them. And if you did you couldn’t married all of them so look out!

    2. I have had my children back for 5 months and pay child support to cps still.. (have the kids 24 7) .. the governments corrupt here in NJ.. and they basically insinuate if i try to get it dropped.. theyll take my kids away again somehow..
      i feel like i am being charged protection tax to have my children home with me by the govt. it makes me sick with frustration, knowing they are just trying to drown me so they can reclaim my children

  9. Hello , my fiancé has an 8 year old from a previous relationship. My fiancé is a completely disabled veteran and only receives disability . The mom has no job and recieves benefits from her previous marriage for herself as well as her kid from that marriage and my fiancé is ordered to pay 650$ for child support for 1 kid and the courts in the county he has to deal with. Will not let him talk or even try to compromise on lowering the child support and are all friends of the mom . Now we have a 3 year old and he can barley afford rent and does not own a single thing because she has made him go into so much debt . He actually signed his rights away when she was born but is still required to pay 650 a month . Does this sound fishy to anyone else ?

  10. Been married now going on 6 years got child support on me 2 years ago didnt know it for the first year then got told it was going off what i was making at that time with social security which i wasn’t on anymore and after about August i got told i needed to pay so i did but calling child support (north Dakota mind you) in January i asked when it was suppose to take effect and it was that month and from then on its been 700 ( 2 kids) since living under 200 every 2 weeks and its still going on havent been able to get cloths havent been able to pay car insurance to get to and from work Cant afford my rent even tho i live with family and knowing that my soon to be ex wife gives my money to her ex boyfriend and ontop of that only seeing my kid for 5 hours on a sunday every weekend maybe someone can she some light on this please

  11. As of 1/31/21 I had a credit for child support of 800 it is now Feb 11 an that credit is gone an it now says I’m in arrears. My monthly payment is 504.00. You can’t call them because they are the nastiest people to talk to on the phone. I feel like I have to put even more money into a lawyer for child support stealing money

  12. My ex has 2 kids by different women. Me and my daughter, and his ex and her son. He is on disability for anxiety and doesn’t see the kids. He does have child support taken out of his monthly check. My daughter receives 126$ a month. His other child receives $479 a month. How and why are these amounts so different? I filed for a case review once and they denied to even review my case. Is there no way to even these amount out so an even amount is being sent to both kiddos?

  13. Hello,

    I pay child support for my 2 kids. When we divorced, my ex decided he wanted to move the kids back to his home state of NH (I am in Vermont). This means I only get the kids 27% of the time. I am regretting that I ever agreed to this but if kids were still in Vermont, we would have 50/50 custody. I make a lot more money than him so I’m not questioning my payment calculation. Currently I live with my mom where I pay an affordable rent because I cannot afford a place on my own due to the amount of child support I pay. Meanwhile he lives in a big, beautiful new home that his parents seem to have bought for him. I am in process of moving to NH and am buying a very low cost, tiny condo so I can see my kids half time. Because I am still working in Vermont, I will be crashing at a friend’s house during the week just so I can set up a situation where my kids don’t have to do the 3 hour drive anymore. I am concerned that my new mortgage payment will not leave me enough money to eat. I feel stuck because I’m trying to create a better situation for kids but my expenses are extremely cost prohibitive to this, and I fear NH will charge even more child support than Vermont. I don’t have a car payment. I have a student loan payment. Other than that I will pay for a mortgage, phone bill, utilities, gas, and just basic needs. Is there anything to be done in this situation? Is there anyway expenses can be taken into account in the calculation, and the fact that he likely does not pay any mortgage?

    1. Unfortunately for your situation, the courts don’t look at your expenses for the most part unless there is an extreme situation – and this doesn’t sound like it is. An extreme situation where a court might apply a ‘downward deviation’ from the statutory guideline child support amount would be if you were ill or infirm. A recent diagnosis of multiple sclerosis that has not limited your income but may have significantly increased your medical bills would be an example.

      As far as his assets are concerned, the court also is not (normally) going to take that into account either. That’s because it is more about you financially supporting the children for your portion of what they need (or are required to pay) without regard to his personal financial situation. Again, another extreme example of that not being the case sometimes is this: Imagine your situation, but now he has just inherited a paid for mansion and $5-million. It is possible that the court would view this as justifying a downward deviation from the normal guideline amount of child support.

      You absolutely should move closer, and if you could take back allowing him to relocate with the children, it’s obvious you would do so. But you can make it work if you go at it in a smart manner. It might be a better plan to rent, not buy, and find an inexpensive rental near the kids with enough bedrooms for everyone for a year or two. Even though this sets you back a bit on the purchasing your own place situation, it will immediately get you back to a 50/50 where child support should either end or be drastically cut.

      It sounds like you probably need to speak with an experienced child custody lawyer because although this is primarily a child support issue, the fact that you need to move things back to a 50/50 arrangement means a new custody agreement and parenting plan is most likely needed – especially if you both are no longer going to be living in the state where the divorce judgment was entered.
      Approach from a position of modifying the parenting plan with a lawyer in NH and have the case transferred there when you move.

    2. If his parents (or someone else) are providing him with a supplement to his income or simply paying his bills for him, that can be considered in a child support review. Of course you would need proof of some sort. A subpoena of his financial records and a bit of forensic accounting would likely show that he is not able to pay for a new home on the income he has reported to the court.

  14. I have my son every other weekend, 3 weeks in the Winter, 1 week in the Spring, and half the summer (over a month, or it could technically be up to the entire summer, but his father has him go to summer school). Am I still not due child support if I am on welfare, and he is an attorney?…

    1. In total you have your son less than 4 months of the year, correct? This is why you are not due any support. Regardless of your personal financial situation, the other parent pays for a great majority of the child’s needs. If the other parent had a similar income to your own, the court would pursue a support order against you.

  15. My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage in Indiana. One is turning 19 next May. College assistance is part of his decree. How easy is it to get a “basic child support” modification for duplicated expenses since he’ll be living at college? The other child just turned 16 and moved out of the house, into an apartment with her friend who is 18. They both pay all of their own rent and food expenses. She is not legally emancipated. How easy would that scenario be to get a modification since she is no longer living with her mother?

    1. How about this I pay $853 every month and I don’t even have a job. Any lawyer that can help me in willing to pay.. the courts won’t let me get a DNA test so paying all this money we still don’t know for sure the child is mine on paper,they won’t let me take dna or they won’t give me 1 like they give any1 else a test but not me.. I was not present at the time when baby was born cause I was in college at the time and she was able to put my name on birth certificate without me being there and Courts care nothing about it. Any lawyer wiling to help I’m willing to pay cause this is crazy. I owe 35,000 n back child support and I never made over 32,000 working in my life.. I need help from a very good lawyer..

  16. Carla Ricohermoso

    My husband has shared custody of his 13-year old son from a previous relationship. He’s paying over $1k/month. We have 3 kids together and I was wondering if the child support can get adjusted based on that? He’s currently the only one working as I’m a stay-at-home parent.

    1. My family is in the same situation. When the agreement was made, my husband was making 130,000 or more a year and only had his son. Now 5 years later, he is make 85,000 a year and we just had our first child. He is currently paying 1,500 a month in child support which seems like a crazy amount. The does include before and after child care (he’s 7), but does not include extra curricular activities. His son is also on his insurance and pays 250 a month for that. Some months if his ex has signed him up for things he is paying close to 2,000 a month. Can this be changed to reflect his new income and the fact that he has another child?

    2. what a selfish woman. you want his child support cut so you can have more money to stay home with your children. you suck. why don’t you get a job

      1. He’s a working man why should he pay that…what because he earns a lot of money so he should be punished for that or how about his ex gets of her ass and stop sponging

      2. Carrie, The last I checked it takes 2 to make a child…so that means the man & the woman are both financially responsible for supporting the child during childhood years. Just because the man has a job, doesn’t mean he is obligated to give his last damn dollar, support a crooked ex wife, & be put into a situation to where he is not able to support himself & his family. Men should not be held on a higher standard & they should not be viewed as the cash cow so that the ex wife can have a free ride in life & use her own child as a means to support herself. I’m a woman with children myself & even I can see how screwed up the system is when it comes to fathers paying child support. You need to wake up & stop blaming the fathers. There are women in this world that are shitty mothers who don’t have custody of their children & are ordered to pay child support. What’s odd is I have never in all of my 36 years seen or heard of a non-custodial mother being thrown in jail for getting behind on child support. Yet, let a non-custodial father get behind on child support due to no fault of his own & watch how fast he’s thrown in jail & still expected to go directly back to work so that half his paycheck can be garnished. As he struggles to survive & feed himself all while the ex wife or “baby mama” can live off him too when she too agreed to jump on her back & spread her legs. A bunch of money hungry hags that think they’re owed everything in life just because they spit a baby out from their loins & the man should be financially responsible to support their ass too for the rest of their life. It’s ridiculous. The child support system is definitely broken & it’s because clowns like you think you’re entitled to every cent a man makes because you did the ‘oh so difficult hard job of laying up on your back with your knees cranked apart’.
        .

        1. I 100% agree Jennifer. I am also a woman that raised 5 children basically alone. Some of these woman today make me sick. Instead of working they sponge off there own children. Both parents made the children,both should be financially responsible

      3. very selfish woman. he’s making 85,000 a year and only pay 1500 a month , that’s nothing. he need to be paying more. and like the last writer said why don’t u get a job.

    3. Having other children to support does factor into a support calculation. If the support order has never been changed to reflect your three children, he should ask for paperwork to start a child support review.

  17. My mom pays child support for my little sister and due to a profit sharing check she gets annually she has been ordered to pay waaaaayyyy too much. Her take home monthly is now about 1500. No one can live off $1500!!! She was remarried, but now will not be and she can’t even survive on her income. There is no way she can obtain a lawyer or even find a new place to lay her head . It’s so frustrating! He even gets most if not all of that profit sharing . The system is so messed up.

  18. I’m in Florida the mother of two of my kids definitely has lied about her household income she works her mom retired and her husband has income yet somehow she still qualifies for welfare meanwhile her and her husband always dress sharp and my kids look like homeless kids and she’s pregnant with another kid from her husband who all my recent money looks like it’s going to.

  19. I live in the state of Maryland, and all of this has happened in Maryland. My fiance and I have been engaged for 6 years now. He has 2 children from a previous marriage, I have none. The kids are 13 and 7 years old. My fiance and his ex split while she was pregnant with their second, the 7 year old, therefore they have been divorced for 7 years now. The child support amount, determined by the Maryland calculator system which included childcare, was set at $1800 monthly, $800 of this amount was towards paying the childcare for the youngest. My finance has been paying the child support regularly and has not missed any payments. However, the youngest is no longer in daycare, and is actually going to be in the 2nd grade this fall, so she has not been in daycare since before kindergarten. My fiance has been struggling with these payments for the past 7 years and is scared to have any involvement with the courts to have the amount altered. He is also scared of his ex wife and the big shot lawyer she threatens him with. Consequently, he continues to pay the amount decided on and struggles endlessly. So… I decided to do some research of my own. I have found a lot of information from Maryland state websites but they do not offer detailed information on this topic. What do you think? Does he have grounds for a change in childcare, after all, it is a continuous change? Or is there simply nothing he can do? I do not want to encourage him to look for an attorney if its not worth it.

    1. In the vast majority of states, child support is always a “temporary” court Order. It is CALLED a “permanent order” in many states when a final order is entered, but that is just so lawyers and judges know the matter is finalized for now and the remaining issues, if any, can be resolved or worked on.

      Child support is temporary, in this sense, because there can always be some change. This is what we call a “substantial change in circumstances” and it applies to both parents. For example: when an order was entered, there may have been a healthy child, but now, something requires extra care, and so the court, on petition from mom, could modify the support amount to ask for more money to pay for these extra items/care. It could also be the case that dad had a job making $100,000/year, but because of covid, the company he worked for went out of business and now he has a job making $65,000/year. This would be a substantial change in circumstances that would allow him to file a petition to modify child support.

      There are exception to this, of course, but that is the substantial changes in circumstances in a nutshell.

      With his situation, paying support and childcare sounds like a change should occur. However, it is possible that the law and calculator has changed as well. and if his income has changed, the calculation could change because of that as well. But it is clear that if childcare is no longer taking place, the childcare portion should be eliminated from the support order.

      He shouldn’t be afraid of a lawyer getting crazy with support – in most cases, it is just a matter of doing a math calculation – it is what it is to that end.

      He should have an experienced child support attorney himself though, and not go it alone – that is a sure fire way to get buried by a good lawyer.

  20. I pay child support for two kids and when we went to court they told me I would have to pay for daycare for my youngest kid he was three then and in daycare but now he is 8 years old in school no daycare bill any more I also pay for my 17 year old daughter as well I make 50,000 a year and pay 620.00 a month, I ‘m wondering should I fill a mention because my 8 year is not in daycare anymore like he was when we first went to court can I get it lowered.

    1. Probably, but you need to check on a few things first. Getting the childcare portion dropped might lower the total amount that you are paying under the old order, but a new calculation will likely be done and that could increase your support amount higher than it is right now.
      You should probably speak with a lawyer and put together some estimates on the other parents income and yours to do an estimated calculation how much support would be once the childcare portion s removed and based on your new ad estimated incomes.

      It might be a good idea to re-evaluate parenting time and child custody issues as well!

  21. So I have been paying child support/ wages garnished and living in the home with the child I pay support for also providing financial support and paying rent buying food, what I just found out is the other parent did not let the courts know I was living in the home while she’s collecting child support what can I do to at least get some of my money back or to have the yrs I’ve been living in the home dropped of my child support?

    1. You are going to have to file a petition to terminate support. A question to ask is, why don’t you just ask the parent, who you are living with, to terminate it?
      Also, be cautious. This sounds like a pretty typical fraud situation that we hear about a lot. It involves a parent making their live-in boyfriend/parent pay child support so that they can continue to get food stamps, snap benefits, cash benefits, section-8 housing, etc.
      The next step is to speak with an experienced child support lawyer to get the facts straight on your local laws.

  22. I own back child support (in arrears) in the state of Kansas, totaling $1800. My stimulus check was taken ($1,200) PLUS my income tax ($1,000) to pay the arrears. That is $400 extra dollars taken from me and my family.
    How or who do I contact to get the mistake corrected?
    I have spoke to the IRS and DCF and gotten nowhere =(

    1. Neither of those two places will be able to provide you with any info at all. It is possible that you owed more money than that because the arrears likely accrued interest over time.
      If not, and that was the total amount due, you should attempt to get that money back.
      It will mean you need to contact the state disbursement unit or the states attorney office who may have handled the child support case enforcement issues.
      You will want to request a complete accounting of all payments due, owed, paid, and interest on any judgments. They will provide you with a list of all of that to show whether you are due money back or owe more still.
      In some states, this is called an “Official Accounting”, and other states call it an “Account Adjustment Review.”

      1. I’ve had my child support deducted diredlctly out of my payroll check for years and paying as I’m supposed to every month. I never received my stimulus money( 1,200 ) after given a deposit date and I was supposed to get a bonus check from work in which over 1,000 was taken for support. What do I need to do find out why they keep taking all this money? I’m not behind in child support nor have I ever received anything stating that I was behind either! Very upset!!!!!

        1. That was something in that was happening to me and so what I did was I got on the child support website and you can review the actual payment history in regards to what you’ve paid out and what they taken and a lot of cases if you do not call them after reviewing the information that you have they’re not going to send you the over payment amounts that you’ve made until you actually say something about it so I looked at it realized that I paid around $2,000 extra. So I got them on the phone and you know make sure that you’re on polite and nice about the whole situation cuz they’re already under enough pressure and caseload as it is. Have them look at it and they should start sending you checks.

    2. I just found out today that I will be paying child to my ex each month in the amount of 415$ for two kids. I also have a third child that lives with me full time that I pay for and daycare as well. I’m only bring home 1100$ every two weeks and my my ex’s won’t agree to lower the child support amount. I only asked for 100$ less so I can make sure that bill get paid on time. Is asking for 100$ less to much? Is it something worth going back to court over since he won’t agree? What should I do?

  23. Long story short, boyfriend of 22 years was in the Coast Guard when him and his wife got divorced. They had 2 children. He sent in all the correct paperwork for child support and it arrived on time, but the courts never entered it till a few days later. Because of a mistake the government made, it has resulted in arrears for child support if nearly $300,000!!! We have tried numerous times to have it fixed, I have drained my savings and 401k account to get it figured out but it’s still the same. He has money coming out if his paycheck to pay on arrears he doesn’t even owe, he never receives a tx return because the government takes that as well, we will never be able to get married because then the courts will come after me. We live in Wisconsin and the order came from Alaska. Is there anything that can be done to fix their mistake from almost 25 years ago?? Where do I go, who do I talk to??

    1. This is a definite case of needing a lawyer. The state makes mistakes all the time with child support. It sounds very strange that an error covering days (or only weeks at most) could result in such a large arrearage against him.

      Initial questions I have are whether payments were coming out of his checks and being paid right off that bat and then continuing on a regular basis or if payments never came out of his checks and nothing was paid for a number of years?

      That sounds like the normal situation – an error is made, payments aren’t made, and then they are never made for 15-years and then we’ve got a gigantic judgment like this. this happens all the time. the unfortunate part is, whether someone in an office made a mistake and they never pulled money from his checks to pay support or what, it doesn’t matter – he had an obligation to ensure that the money was paid and there is no excuse why he either wasn’t aware nothing was being taken from his checks or that he didn’t pay it himself.

      The first thing he needs to do is go to the state where the order was entered (not in person, online or by phone) and send in whatever documents are required to request “a complete accounting”, also called (in some states) an “Account Adjustment Review” (AAR for short).
      This should show ALL payments that have been made and the amount that was supposed to have been paid.

      In addition to that, he should contact the State disbursement Unit where payments were supposedly sent and request a complete accounting there as well. this will typically NOT include the amount that was due, but only show all payments received and the date received. then he will have to complete his own totals and accounting.

      Keep in ind, that any arrears against him are a judgment and thus subject to accruing interest – and that can grow fast over decades.
      Now, if he made payments (the correct amount) to her through the state or through a direct withdrawal / garnishment from his paychecks, and the state for some reason did not account for those, that is something that the accounting would show. He would then need to get his employer(s) to print out some documentation showing his pay was garnished certain amounts over all these years – that might be a pain to obtain, but would be necessary.

      The last possible explanation is that he paid her direct, with cash or cashiers checks or personal checks that can no longer be traced. If that’s the case, the courts treat cash payments as if they never happened unless the other parent tells the truth that he did pay – good luck getting that to happen. It’s this reason many smart attorneys (there are a lot of dumb ones – beware!) tell their clients to always pay through the state disbursement unit AND keep a copy of the transaction in a file by year and scanned and emailed to yourself as double backup proof.

      This sounds like a nightmare, but there are a lot of steps that must be taken and much information to gather – contact one of our experienced child support attorney’s to get some more help or start gathering proof and documentation from employers and the state immediately. Best of luck.

  24. My ex husband agreed to an amount well above the state guidelines in NY for child support 3 years ago. He wants to modify the support down, and I disagree with the modification. Neither of our situations have changed, in fact I believe he is making more money. If you do the calculations however, he is “overpaying” in child support, so will a judge lower the amount based on the state guidelines? Or will he have to prove that it’s a necessary downward modification? I am making significantly less money than he is, and the circumstances which were put into our decree for the child support numbers are still the same. It was also decided due to my receiving additional funds in child support that I would waive my maintenance and enroll my child in health insurance through the state, saving him a lot in health insurance premiums as he is former military and is covered by Tricare for life. It’s especially a bad time to modify anything as the pandemic has both affected my employment and my child’s schooling (I’m now home with him full time, while my ex’s job has remained stable during this crisis).

  25. I’m in Texas. So I was awarded 933/month today. I lowered it to 800/month because he Said it was too much and I was trying to be nice. I find out later after I’ve signed all the documents and left, that I really won’t be getting 800, it’ll be 738 because he gets paid biweekly. So I know I’ll get an extra payment twice a year. But 738 isn’t what we agreed on monthly. Since we signed all the paperwork already, can I still go back and contest this before it’s enforced in April?

  26. I am currently going through a divorce where the state required support is 1,098.00 per month. I was 62% the “bread winner” in the home. After lying the 1,098 dollars, I know become the 48% “breadwinner”. Is this correct?????? Basically. She makes more than I do now.

  27. My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. Many years ago they went to “child support court” to get things outlined on paper. Shortly after, we had a child. We never modified the order. We pay a big amount in child support, and I’d imagine it would go down with our daughter added into the equation. One attorney mentioned reimbursement for overpayment since we’ve had another child for almost 4 years who my husband pays over $800 for, just for daycare. Will the courts look into back support owed?

    1. why do women who marry men with children think that the child support for their husbands child should go down because you have a child. the child from the previous relationship was there first, you knew this when you got with him. stop being so selfish. your child is no more important than the other. if you don’t like what he was paying you should not have married him.

      1. The reasons is because, when the order keeps increasing and drives u into bankruptcy, forces him into a 65 hours a week job and the order won’t let him take a job for less how does the other parent make money when they have child care issues due to the slave labor they are in and the court has no problem watching him go down in flames to give the ex the highlife and he still has to watch his kids go without.

      2. Because that’s how it works! The ex wife needs to pay her fair share too & stop holding the father responsible for paying most or all of the financial obligations to THEIR child just so she can spoil herself. The father’s job is to HELP support his child, not fully support the child & the ex wife. Bullshit. The father is allowed to move on with his life, remarry & have more children & shouldn’t have more financial responsibility than the ex wife. The ex wife laid on her back & helped make that child, she can get off her ass & help support that child equally & without expecting her ex husband to support her lazy ass too. It don’t work that way.

  28. Hi i have a child support payment of 700 dollars i get paid weekly and there is a 250 dollar deduction out of each check that takes me into a over pay of 300 dollars each month if I’m ordered to pay 700 dollars is my check still supposed to be getting deducted after the monthly requirement is meet

    1. That is an issue with your payroll department not the courts. Courts send payroll deduction orders to your place of employment and they are responsible for inputting it into the system if they are deducting more than your order states and you are overpaying then they need to fix the wage garnishment in their system to reflect the order.

  29. My boyfriend has paid his child support on time for an entire year now since his divorce and court ordered child support was signed in the state of Connecticut. His ex wife has over the last half of this year not upheld her end of their custody agreement so we sought out legal advice on that. The lawyer had shown us that his support was calculated incorrectly resulting in an over payment of about $150 per week for his two kids (which reside with the mother in PA/ he lives in NY). His lawyer and her lawyer had calculated his income to be roughly $600 per month more than the state guidelines of 40 hrs base pay plus 5 hrs overtime. So this new lawyer tried for a modification based on him not knowing that what his lawyer figured was incorrect. The ex wife’s lawyer filed to dismiss the reopening and won, the court dismissed it and he’s paying a completely incorrect higher amount. Not to mention the ex wife’s income was “estimated” since she wasn’t working then (is now) and hers was not factored based on the guidelines either (lower for her benefit). At that time they were also not paying for daycare which they are now. His portion being an additional $800 per month. He is supposed to see his kids once every 3 weeks and can’t afford it that often because of this. The cost of him visiting the kids was never factored in either which is usually $1000 for a 3 day visit between hotel, food, activities, etc. He has to drive 6.5 hours to see his kids and pay all that money and can’t afford to see them more often. The new lawyer said we should seek out to sue the last one for malpractice over this debacle because an appeal won’t amount to anything once the court makes a decision. Is this true? We are completely defeated and just don’t know where to go from here. My heart breaks for this man, he just wants to afford to see his kids. Help!

    1. A modification of child support might be acceptable in this case, but it depends on a handful of factors that are often overlooked. While Connecticut does normally limit their calculation of child support to only 5-hours of overtime, the court is allowed to go above and beyond that in some instances. So if he is/was working 10-hours of overtime a week, the court could have used that, but they generally do not do so.

      Looking back at what an order SHOULD have been versus what a new order should be NOW are two different things. Attempting to say that an over-payment was made and therefore should be vacated and the payments returned to him or credited to him in the future are difficult and generally, not advised. But requesting that support be modified going forward is the proper way to look at this and approach the situation. In most states, either party may petition the court to modify support if there is a substantial change in circumstances that warrants a modification. This might be a company downsizing, or a parent getting a big raise, or even a parent having another child with a new spouse or significant other. The problem here is usually the phrase “substantial change.” What is substantial? Some courts or people might say this is a 15% change in the amount of support to be paid (this is pretty standard), others might say other factors should be counted. This is where the judges decision making takes control and ends up being the wildcard.

      Also, if he is earning less money because he changed jobs or was fired “for cause” (not just downsized), the court can use that information to deny a modification because the judge could say that he shouldn’t have done something bad to get fired for cause or that he should not have quit and taken a lower paying job. In that case, the court would “impute” income to him at the amount he was earning before, even though not earning that now. This is similar to what the court did, it sounds like, in factoring in her ‘income’ for the calculation even though she was not working. the court ‘imputed’ her income at a certain amount – maybe minimum wage at 40-hours/week. This is also normal, depending on the persons education and past work history.

      As far as the issue of cost for parenting time and travel, the issue here is which parent moved? Assuming that he was the parent that moved (whether for a new job, relocation/transfer, whatever), the court would view that as a “him” problem. He chose to move, so he has to bear the costs of that for exercising his parenting time. Sounds harsh, right? That’s just the way it is.

      As far as malpractice is concerned, very few attorneys ever recommend malpractice against another attorney because the simple fact of the matter is that many of these things are within a judges discretion and there really is no way to know with certainty how a judge will rule on a particular issue. Couple that with the fact that if this was an agreed order or judgment that he signed, another hurdle has been presented. A malpractice claim here would be a waste of valuable time and resources and probably not result in anything positive at all. It certainly won’t change the courts order anyways.

      This is a difficult and terrible situation to be in, and the ways to fix this are not easy. The best advice that could be given to him is to start looking for jobs back where his kids live and try to get closer to them to save the money on the travel and request additional increases in parenting time in the future. So long as he is living 6+ hours away, his rights and options to fight for more are going to be limited. I wish here was a better solution, but this, honestly, is the best solution to starting to get things changed for the better.

      Happy to connect with one of our local child custody attorneys to work with him if he wants to make a game plan going forward and provide more details.

  30. Hello, my ex and I used a mediator 3 years ago for our divorce (we live in Massachusetts) and split custody close to 50/50. At the time, I was making 97k and she was making 92k. So we decided I would pay for health coverage (for all 3 of us) to make things more equal and so no one pays child support. I end up paying $100/week for this (health/dental), and my employer pays the rest.

    Now, I am making 100k and just last week, I heard she now has a job with a 105k salary. Do I now have the right to ask her to re-evaluate our situation. I am of the mind that she should now take on the health coverage or pay me child support. Does this seem correct to you?

    Much appreciated

    1. Well, it depends. It probably isn’t a big deal to have a discussion with her about splitting the costs or shifting the coverage to her employer, but the real question you should be asking is if it is worth the potential fight that could ensue. I take it from your comment that things were mainly amicable in the split, and that things are amicable now as well.
      I get that view from you mentioning going to mediation, and not fighting things out in court battles.
      So, the main question is this: is it worth the fight that COULD happen if you push it. The probably situation is that the coverage for your children is half what you pay in total (probably a little less), so figure maybe $50/week of the $100/week you pay for insurance is directly attributable to the children. That’s basically $2,500/year. It’s not a tiny amount of money, but it certainly isn’t a huge amount either – definitely not worth fracturing what sounds to be a nice co-parenting situation.
      The best advice anyone could give you would be to find a moment when things are good between you both and ask about having a discussion about the insurance costs and if she would look into how much her employer coverage would be to add them or possibly, finding out the cost for your children only at your work and splitting that cost. (Your HR department can tell you what your coverage is alone/single, and you know what it is now with the family, so that difference is the amount of the children’s coverage.
      If she is amenable to amending the divorce judgment based on this, great! If not, give it some serious thought as to how this could affect things for years to come – not the money aspect – but the relationship aspect. Always remember, you two are bound together forever through graduations, weddings, grandchildren, and other big life events, so make sure that you weigh these things.
      Best of luck, and if you would like to provide more detail, please give us a call and one of our expert divorce attorneys can speak with you in some more detail.

      1. If I have paid child support and the recipient has torn it up. Am I still held responsible? I was told child support collects interests. So, do I need to replace it with the interest involved? Or should the recipient be responsible for getting it renewed? I do not know what happens from here and I am from Texas.

        1. Do you mean she tore up the check that you gave her?
          If she is doing something like this, you need to do a couple things to protect yourself:
          1. Document it; and
          2. Find an alternative way of paying her; or
          3. File a motion to terminate support since she is clearly stating she does not want it.

          An alternative way to pay is likely through the state, where you pay the state and they then disburse the funds to her and they record each transaction. This is the best proof that you have made all required payments because the state keeps the record (you should keep a separate record yourself though, because the state has millions of cases and mistakes happen!).

          Follow this link for the Texas State Disbursement Unit to make your payments to her, that way, there can be no lie told by her or confusion by a judge as to whether you paid or didn’t pay – it will all be recorded.

          It’s also a good idea to think about obtaining a legal professional to help you with your child custody matter here as well, since her actions are pointing toward additional issues that will be happening soon, if not already. And you should get ahead of the curve and obtain a court order detailing your father’s rights to child custody and parenting time.

    2. I have a child support case in baton rouge Louisiana and I am being railroaded with child support and visitation plus im not carrying neither child on my taxes bout im paying more than 50% child support six years and going need leagal help asap thx much

      1. Louisiana uses what is known as the “income shares” model of child support. this means that both parents adjusted gross income from ALL sources is tossed into bucket to determine the total amount of support needed for a child. Then, further calculations are done to determine how much of that total support obligation is due to the noncustodial parent. This would include amount of overnights each parent is ordered to have or actually has, as well as costs for health insurance for the child, and possibly childcare so the custodial parent can work.

        If you are paying 50% of your income, the first question is whether this is a net 50% (after taxes) or 50% of your gross income. If 50% of your net, maybe you need to adjust your payroll taxes and make sure you don’t get a big refund (that way you get more $ in your check every payday instead of a $5,000 tax refund where you let the government borrow all that money interest-free). Also, if you are behind on your support (and it looks as though you are), the court can force you to pay the normal support amount plus an additional amount to pay off the past-due amount (which is most likely accruing interest at 7%-9% a year).

        As far as the tax dependency credits and exemptions are concerned, when a parent is paying child support at a reasonable amount (reasonable being tough to define, but if it’s $50-$200/month for 2-kids, that is too low), the parents will normally alternate years in which they claim a child, or each parent claims 1-child. If, however, a parent is behind and owes past due support or past due medical/educational/extracurricular expenses, the courts will generally not allow the person owing back support to claim a child for dependency purposes.

        Visitation is a whole different situation. If there is a court order in place and mom is not honoring it and denying you parenting time / visitation, you need to file a petition for rule to show cause (a petition for indirect civil contempt of court). This tells the judge that mom is refusing to follow a court order and is denying you visitation. If there is not a court order already in place for visitation, you need to file a motion for parenting time / visitation. This could take awhile if you have not had time with the kids in a long time and the court will likely want to make it a slow, gradual process to ensure that the kids are comfortable.

        In any event, you absolutely need an experienced child custody lawyer that also understands and can calculate the exact amount of child support and arrears (past-due) child support you owe and work towards lowering it, if possible.

  31. I have a child support case in the state of New York which was done fifteen years ago but I haven’t been back to court for any modifications I’m actually the noncustodial parent and my ex wife has my daughter and she also didn’t return to court for any modifications for a raise but she also moved to Florida with my daughter so the question is how do I transfer the child support to Florida because I know Florida child support ends at Eighteen years of age and NY ends at 21 also my daughter been in Florida for over 10 years, what can I do.

    1. More likely than not the case will remain in New York so long as one of you continues to reside there. This is intended so that people can’t “forum shop” and find the best state for their side of a case.
      You also need to find out what the situation will be when your child is over 18 but under 21. If she is self-supporting (full-time job), in the military, married, etc., that will terminate child support. If she is a college student living at home, that would still be a child support being paid situation as well.

  32. I have a child support obligation which is paid by my insurance. I send or did send extra money every so often. Amounts were just a few hundred dollars. I learned these gifts or what I called gifts decreased their food stamps allotment. I sent a bigger amount this last time. I came into a sum of money after my dad died and what was left in a checking account came to me. On this last time I sent a money order I put a note in with the money order telling Melissa to not let that money mess up their food stamps but a couple months later they got bunged again on the food stamps. She gets PO’d when that happens and I can see why. It’s just that I backed off in the past couple years and haven’t talked or sent any more money. I just had some extra money and it’s only right that I spared some of it because what they’re paying them as child support can’t be all that much.

    1. If you owe past-due child support, it is probably best to pay it through the state so that the state records it and begins reducing the amount of arrears you owe. Otherwise, they will not reduce the amount you owe and you will need proof of the payments and what they were for, and that can get dicey. I’ve seen cases where people paid cash to their ex for 6+ years, and then their ex files for child support and the state’s attorney/child support office wants proof of the payments, the other parent lies and says they were only given a few hundred dollars a year ever at most, and the court issues a judgement for $50,000 against the parent that was paying cash. and there is nothing you can do about it because he paid cash and there is no proof – it’s his word against her word.
      I’m unsure how the state benefit program works with these extra payments, but if it is for past-due child support, and it is paid through the state, it shouldn’t count against her. If, however, it is just a big deposit into her account from a check or cash from you, and they monitor, that could throw things off in some instances.
      You need to have a local attorney look in to this so that the kids get the support they need and you are able to protect yourself from a nasty past-due judgment, if that’s even a possibility. Always protect yourself.

  33. I’m sick of child support. My husband has 1 14 year old son, and he’s paying $1000 a month in child support and alimony. When his ex wife left him he was in the military making $65k a year and she didn’t have a job. Since the divorce 6 years ago she’s gone back to school, gotten a master’s degree and now she’s making $23-$25 an hour. Meanwhile after my husband left the military his income dropped to $35k a year and he was paying her a 3rd of that before taxes leaving him with about $1500 a month which hardly covered his rent at the time. Now jump forward to now, we’ve been married for about 1 year and we have a baby on the way, his income currently is about $43k a year, but his ex wife is making at least $48k, she has a house, her car is completely payed off, she’s purposely working a less paying job despite her master’s degree and yet she refuses to lower his $1000 a month payment even though we’ve begged her to, we have a baby on the way, my husband owes back taxes since he couldn’t afford to pay them in full last year, we have medical debts and bills coming to about $500 a month, we don’t have an apartment so we are living with my stepparents in 1 bedroom about to have a baby that we can neither afford or make space for, on top of that there’s gonna be daycare expenses, diapers, wipes and formula to buy. We can’t afford food or gas which is provided by my stepparents, the mountains of debt keep piling up and it’s hopeless, I can’t stand the fact that his ex wife is underemployed, greedy and selfish. She knows full well our situation and she doesn’t give a shit, everytime money comes up with her she whines about all her bills and doesnt even a aknowledge any of our bills or the fact that we are going to have a baby and can’t afford rent or food, $43k may sound like alot but taking the taxes out and the $12000 a year for her leaves us with hardly anything not to mention that she dumped him with her credit card loans and debts after the divorce which he is still trying to pay off. My husband works 60+ hours a week, he’s always stressed about money, I hate seeing him suffer so much and not be able to stay on top of everything. On top of that she never says thank you for anything he gives her or does, he’s stayed active in his son’s life, payed her as much as he can, he’s missed maybe 2 payments and she claims he’s missed a years worth. She’s told him she doesn’t want alimony payments which is $400 out of the $1000 we pay, yet she continues to force him to make full payment a claiming that some bill came up or that she can’t lower it or whatever it doesn’t make sense to me that she says she only wants $600 a month then turns around and threatens him for the full amount. I’m just sick of paying her while we struggle she is greedy and selfish and doesnt even thank him one bit for all the money. She couldn’t care less about his expenses, bills and baby.

    1. This sounds like a very difficult situation with the income levels where they’re at and everything your family is going through.
      Not knowing what state you are in, it is difficult to get an idea what support and/or alimony (maintenance) should be under the current circumstances.
      Some items that need clarification are how long the term of maintenance is supposed to last, and whether he has tried to obtain a modification of either child support or maintenance (or both) yet. If not, my initial advice is to attempt to file for a modification and request the court to eliminate maintenance, since there is no longer a need for it (she is gainfully employed and highly educated) and to recalculate child support based on his new income.
      Now, here is the flip side to this (partial devils advocate, but mainly things to keep in mind because this is what a judge very likely will say, so be prepared):
      1. The judge does not care about your household bills or why you aren’t working, etc. The judge cares about the child that is already here (14 year old) being supported before anything else is even considered. Keep that in mind. The judge does not care about you , him, or the mom – the judge only cares that the child is supported properly.
      2. The judge also does not care that she has a house or a paid off car. Pointing that out to the judge will be a guaranteed mistake – the judge will be very upset that you are worrying about what she has and you don’t have – the judge will ask “well, isn’t a good thing that your son has a house, and a good thing that your son’s mom has paid off transportation?” Do not go there, it will not be persuasive and will make him look bad.
      3. Child support should be modifiable. However, many states do now allow a modification for what they call “a voluntary reduction in income.” So, in your husbands case, he voluntarily left a higher-paying job and took a lower paying job. The court, sometimes, will not allow the lower income to be used as a basis for reducing child support because of this. Now, there are some exceptions to this, such as layoffs (not ‘for cause’ firings or doing something bad), and leaving the military is many times a valid reason. But not always. The judge could always ask this: “why should i modify support when you are clearly able to earn $65k/year but you chose not to do so? How is this fair to your son (and mom)?” Be prepared for that question.
      4. How long is the term of maintenance? Different states use different calculations to figure it out. Some states use a strict formula (with limited exceptions) while other states simply go by what the parties agreed to and signed in their divorce judgment, and other states make the decision on a case by case basis on what the judge thinks is fair. Some of these things allow for modification, others don’t. Find out if yours does, because there definitely appears to be a significant change in circumstances both on the amounts they both are making, her education, and her need for maintenance.
      5. Not counting maintenance/alimony, in a state that calculates child support based on “income shares model of child support” (like Illinois, for example), child support based on those incomes would be somewhere in the range of $450-$550/month.

      Give us a call, lets run some real numbers and get the details and connect you with someone local that can help. Best of luck!

      1. gerardo albillo

        I need help in my child support case I’m paying 2400 a month I moved from Las Vegas to Seattle to get a better paying job to pay my child support and even do I make more money in Seattle I’m making ends meet I have to ask for over time to pays bills or to have a good check I also have brought my kids out here for the summer I pay for the flights out here and don’t ask for nothing back I just need some advice if there’s any way to drop my child support if I was able to pay 1500 I would have a better living n give my kids a better place to stay when they come out here

    2. you are the greedy one. should not have married him. you knew what you were getting into. do not care about you, your husband, or the mother. only that he fulfills his duties as a parent to their child. she is obviously taking care of the child, why shouldn’t he.

      1. The ex wife is greedy. Point blank. If she left him while he was in the military & still expects her ex husband to support her too even after she went through college to get a higher paying job than him, then yes, that absolutely IS greed! She wants all of her money & his money too because she thinks he should still support her more than his new wife & baby.

  34. I live in NJ and make under 35k a year. Im 23 and own my own house, have a car payment, and regular bills. I am being forced to pay 1,000 a month in child support for 1 child. If it werent for my bf, i would have lost my house or had my electric or water turned off by now. Im left with 70/month after bills and child support… so thats my gas money to get back and forth to work.

  35. How come there is no mention on any of these websites about the wage garnishment being illegal and Unconstitutional? It is a violation of our 14th Amendment rights and is in violation of several other amendments. Most are forced into it, called ‘volunteering’, under duress in the form of fines, driver’s license loss, or incarceration. Further, there is upheld case law to support this statement. Why isn’t the entire country, not just divorcing parents, up in arms about the extortion of Social Security funds via Title IV-D, purported to be ‘in the best interests of the children’, yet not one penny is used on the intended recipients. Instead this money is used to ‘repay welfare debt’, draining already limited Social Security funds.
    The municipalities likes to paint the fathers as ‘deadbeat dads’ when the truth is this is happening to mothers as well as the local and municipal governments do not care where they get their .66 cents on the dollar for every dollar paid into child support.

    1. Maybe if the deadbeat fathers would pay their child support then they would not have to have their wages garnished.

      1. Maybe these women need to pick more carefully who they have children with. The child support system is a joke. Non custodian parents pay dearly when it need not be that way.

    2. Totally agree!! Especially when the mother of the child works and makes more than the father yet still has to pay her. There’s also no legitimate way for the father to know what their money is being used for. Which is very distasteful when the dad clearly sees it isn’t being used for his kid! NJ sucks the money out of you and thinks it’s for the better of the child but can’t stand by that statement when you contribute knowledge and proof it’s not being used the right way.

  36. Ashley E Fisher

    My son’s father has 4 child support cases for his four oldest children in Texas and now he has another child with a support case here in Florida. The mother here in Florida is making him pay $600 a month which has brought my payments that I receive from him down to $16. I want to help him get it lowered. He can’t afford an attorney. Is there anything he can do about it without an Attorney/

  37. I don’t know where to turn. I have an attorney and my divorce is final now, but I think I’m still getting screwed. The judge did reduce my child support, but he awarded her the house completely with nothing going to me and she gets half of my retirement, I get none of hers. She gets survivor benefits and half of my pension. Does that seem right? Just wondering. Why would she get any of my pension if she cheated on me and left me?

    1. Unfortunately, in this country, it’s not what she did or her cruel intentions, it’s what you can prove in court. Save every email, picture, bank statement, checks everything. Most states if you can prove infidelity, there is more financial relief on your end. I’m kind of in the same boat. Hiring a private investigator can prove alot in court. What bothers me the most is when they re marry a wealthy man, they will still milk you just in case the other guy screws her over. Some, not all women are are rhe root of all evil. I will never marry again nor have any children with another woman. Good luck to you my friend.

    2. I know you won’t see this, it’s been a long time since posted but dude…my heart goes out to you man. You were royally screwed by a system that is ancient and should be done away with..I know it’s too late now but you should’ve never got married…there is no positives for the men.. we always stand to lose more. Idk hope your doing better now though..

  38. My son is current being sued for child support. One two year old who’s mother has not had a steady job in many years. The amount they are going to award her is over $1600.00 a month!!! He is a mechanic at a car dealership. Neither are wealthy or have a lavish lifestyle. He met with DCF child support division who were unyielding and treated the fathers there just horrible. This amount will ruin him. He will literally have $2.00 a day to live on with the current order. He will lose his vehicle, his home and of course his job. She has also lied on her financial statement which the Support agent told him to just stop talking. I am afraid for him and what he may do. He feels defeated and depressed. This amount is just insaine. She has also refuses any of us any visits or time with our sweet baby girl. He has gotten free advice from a “so-called” “Men’s child support rights” group. What a con. Said online $500-$1500 custody representation. After the consult quoted $4000.00++. He can’t pay that which has made him even more despondent. Can anybody out there help him? Is there one honest, reasonable attorney out there or would I be more likely to find a unicorn?

    1. My husband and I live in Maryland. When we first got married he was paying for 4 children. He is now paying twice as much for 2 kids. She gets all kinds of government assistance and lives with her mother. My husband has been out of work for over a year leaving me to pay all the bills and cover his kids on my insurance because his whole workers comp check goes to child support. I don’t think it is fair that she has a good job at the hospital with benefits but she still gets Medicaid to cover the copays for the doctor visits that I pay insurance to cover. She also has no bills living with her mother and gets hundreds of dollars in food stamps. The child support system is truly flawed. They don’t take that fact that she is a deadbeat that has never been able to provide a roof over her kids they just reward her with free healthcare and food. Meanwhile in the real world I am busting my butt day in and day out to just make it by with my income because child support still wants the same money even though for over a year my husband has only made a fraction of his salary. This is horrible!

      1. You should hire an attorney if possible because clearly hes not making the same amount of money and they will reevaluate like they did with my ex-husband. Have you checked on this???

      2. I am a mother of a son that is paying child support . He at the time of the decision on the amount was making good money but now he is making a 3rd of the amount and the child support amount is the same. He is drowning. We are trying to help as much as we can but we are both 70 and on a fixed income. It is bleeding our retirement. on and on about this but I agree the system is broken. I feel like fathers should get together and bring this problem up to their separate leaders of their state, write petitions/letters and see if they will look into this and get this problem out in the open and be brought up in Congress and Senate and see if something can be done.

      3. First off you don’t know if she have to help her mother or not. And child support is for which ever parent ISNT HELPING. What you don’t know is in order to get government help you have to qualify and in order to qualify you have to make a certain amount. And if she’s working at a hospitle she’s not receiving FITAP which means her money go on clothes shoes house items etc etc for her kids so no she’s not a dead beat you’re just with a little boy that make kids and don’t take care of his responsibility but just leave it all on you there’s many ways to make money the correct way

    2. Ready to die KC

      Hi I know this is an 2017 writing but what has been done for your son? I’m in the same exact position this present day. One child $1600 per month. I’ve been evicted from my apartment car repoed and my weekly take home after that is $200. Who can I beg to change these laws. Im homeless I can’t enjoy seeing my child sleeping in the same park I bring her to!

    3. What? My ex husband totally screwed me and moved 1000 miles away… but he pays $160/week for child support (and has a decent job) and I feel fortunate for that… $1600/mo????? I encourage him to gather his pay stub and any financial things he has and make an appointment or visit his county court house. They all have volunteer legal departments with lawyers- they may not represent him pro bono but they can help him figure out what to do. I live in IN and I know the law here states that even if a spouse owes a ton (ie more than child support) they can’t take more than 65% of their paycheck AND with that in mind … they cannot even take that much if it doesn’t leave the person enough to survive on. That’s common sense – I can’t believe it would differ in other states. I would also recommend he get involved in some men’s groups, and divorce support groups thru church or otherwise. Because he doesn’t have the money for a lawyer networking with as many people as possible is the only way he is going to get things rectified. The more support and friends with different backgrounds he can meet the better- someone, somewhere has the answer or can help him. Also check into the law (this is why support groups are helpful)…on what happens if she remarried (the child is young so it’s very possible she will). Tell him to keep the faith-and that not all woman are like that, including me and I am pulling for him… I have found our lower courts in this country are not very honorable so building a support network is vital to finding that one person or persons that can help him!
      Godspeed

    4. We r going through the same thing, I believe the system is set up for all these men to fill the jails. I have been talking to many fathers because my son is getting abused by the system. She’s married in Colombia we can’t even get information to get the marriage certificate because she put a phone order of protection to keep him away from papers n chis clothes n belongings.

      1. So you personally know this to be true huh? I guess since you’re psychic & know everything about complete strangers, please enlighten me on why this is actually a very common issue in the child support field…overcharging fathers & expecting them to pay for full expenses while the mother lives off the father’s expenses too. They both should share expenses equally, not the father pay 100% of everything. So yes, this is very common & happens all the damn time. Even social workers will tell you it is the #1 complaint in the child support world.

  39. I make 11 dollars a hour. After paying 800.00 a month in child support I only bring in 6.00 dollars a hour. I can’t afford to live any longer. My oldest son just turned 31 and his mom has not seen a dime of the money I have paid in sens he was 18. But I still have to pay. it makes me just want to end it all now. I am 55 and can’t even afford to pay for the tags on my car or even renew my licenses. let alone pay rent, which i don’t because I live in my car that I can’t even drive. and I have to pay for it too. Please Help I am in Dallas Tx

    1. I am a mother of a son that is paying child support . He at the time of the decision on the amount was making good money but now he is making a 3rd of the amount and the child support amount is the same. He is drowning. We are trying to help as much as we can but we are both 70 and on a fixed income. It is bleeding our retirement. on and on about this but I agree the system is broken. I feel like fathers should get together and bring this problem up to their separate leaders of their state, write petitions/letters and see if they will look into this and get this problem out in the open and be brought up in Congress and Senate and see if something can be done.

    2. Simple. You’re paying cause you’re behind it’s called back pay. You wasn’t paying like you was supposed too and it came to bite you in the ass

      1. Chasity, I’m afraid that you are incorrect in your assumptions! I know a person right now who is getting $770.00 a month in SSDI and is ordered to pay $290.00 a month! Also, he was only $310.00 behind but they illegally confiscated 65% of his backpay totalling to almost $5,000 but he was only $310.00 behind! I have female friends who purposely get pregnant in order to get child support, etc. and then sit back and laugh about it. You strike me as being one of those women; hopefully, I’m wrong? Oh, and the backpay that they “cheated” him out of? Well, that was just gratuity for the children. Something needs to be done about this ASAP! And taking ALL of a non-custodial parents income and considering it disposable income is ridiculous! I was told and believe that this system was originally put into place to deter African American Males from #1. Having kids #2. To keep them in privatized jails and prisons. Since these laws are so outdated I actually believe it. The government is making lots and lots of $$$ from this.

  40. My boyfriend had a kid with his ex and when they calculated the child support she didnt have job. So they calculated hers at minimum wage for maybe 40 hours a week. He is paying $800 a month. The mother has now married someone and now has another job, she just finished school and is fixing to get a job, When she gets a job her income will increase from what it was when they calculated the child support. Can the amount my boyfriend pays decrease once she gets a job?

    1. Texas usually doesn’t count the mothers salary in the child support. Normally it’s just a percent of the dad’s income. Also why would her new husband be required to support her ex’s kids anyway?

      1. Umm maybe because hes using the bills that child support goes towards, living in the house child support goes to and eating the food that child support goes too? Child support should be based off household income, not what the mom makes because all it takes is the mom to move in with a rich man and never have to work again. now the father pays even more in child support(most of the time way more then he can afford)and its not even needed. He needs to be able to take care of the child when he has them too you know? It takes both. Not just the mother.

    2. The only way it can change is if you do a (modification ) of the current child support order. Meaning your asking them to review it again and you let them know the reasons, which can be (change of income) on his part… hope this helps.

  41. Nice article . I was enlightened by the insight – Does anyone know where my company can acquire a sample TX Original Petition to Modify the Parent-Child Relationship copy to fill out ?

  42. I’ve had numorous medical issues for the last 5 or 6 years. The state of Mass. Has refused to give me a court hearing for reduction, also I have not been released to go back to work. I don’t have a lawyer, the court supposedly gave me someone to help but that ended up being a lie. The help I got was in her favor, have not seen my kids in 6 or 7 years, 1she wont let me and two I don’t have didn’t have the money to drive over 200 miles one way to see them . She refused to meet me half way. They have now attached to my workers comp, taking over their half. If I have a heart attack again, or my hernia from a work injury blows, how do I pay being dead!! Also wife is disable and they keep taking her check,returns, and she never had children with their mother, married or otherwise.

    1. The courts do not care about whether you can pay your bills or not, they only care about if they can send money to the kids. It’s not fair, but Mass courts don’t care even one bit. The only thing you can do is hire a lawyer to fight for you. Not paying a lawyer is costing you thousands of dollars. The amount of money you would have saved would have paid for the lawyer 10-times over. I live in Boston, dealt with the same issue, but after getting a lawyer, I got the judge to cut my payments almost in half. Of course, I pay interest on the back amount I owe, but my payment is lower.

  43. My husband pays $900 a month to his ex and they have joint custody. We have a baby of our own and we get the three children every weekend and sometimes during the week. The ex quit her job to sell scentsy crap online. Not only does he pay $900 a month to her, he pays for all the stuff when they’re here with us. He pays for their sports they play and for a lot of other school needs. She gets all kinds of government assistance. He is a great dad and loves his kids and him and his ex talk and are good in front of their kids. She is sucking the life out of him. He’s constantly stressed about money and how is this fair for him to have to support 2 households?? She purposely hardly works or doesn’t at all just so she can suck more and more money out of him. I’m not completely sure if she gets child support for her other child, from her other ex husband or not but this is bull. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE somebody help. Is there anyway to find out, without having to pay an attorney that we can’t afford, if he can pay her less?

    1. Hi, what state are you from? This makes a difference on how to handle the case. My husband is in a similar situation, I’m frpm California and know some tips from there that can help.

      1. I could use some tips for this situation in CA, please!
        My boyfriend is paying half of his income and we are struggling.

        Thanks.

        Kayla

    2. I’m in PA and my boyfriend is in a similar situation. He makes a decent income but lives paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes borrows money from me (I make less than half of what he does!), just so he can pay his bills and eat. He’s even had to turn down taking his kids, for the two days a week, on occasion because he couldn’t afford to feed them. When he earns a little more on a paycheck, he uses the money on his kids’ activities and clothing. He’s even quit contributing to his 401k so that he can have a little extra money in his pay (which doesn’t bode well for our future together). Meanwhile, his ex works part-time, only provides hand-me-downs (which rarely fit) for the boys, puts the youngest in daycare even when she isn’t working (because it’s free), and gets all kinds of government benefits. She has also provided her other child (from a previous relationship) with luxuries such as an Apple laptop and a brand new iPhone, while her father pays nothing. How is there no way around paying so much child support when the kids’ mother doesn’t spend the money their father is paying for?

    3. Save receipts of everything he do for the kids and turn it in to the judge that’ll fix the bm. He shouldn’t have to do anything besides pay but since he’s doing things besides paying monthly he need to save every little piece of proof of everything he do for his kids and reappeal his child support case

    4. You can make it change. Tell him to call his nearest child support division and ask for Modification of the child support papers to be sent to him. On those papers they will ask the reasons for the change…yours would be change of income why because he has another family to sustain, house etc working less hours or not making the same amount all that counts.. if at the end he requires a lawyer there is legal aid who can help.

  44. I pay 835 dollars a month for one child in Minnesota. That amount was based off of 20 dollars an hour 4 years ago. I moved to arkansas and make 10 dollars an hour now. I got married and help support my step kids because their father won’t pay his child support. I have tried numerous times to get my child support lowered to a more reasonable amount. My child’s mother is an R.N. And makes close to 35 dollars an hour. The courts actually lowered it at a court date I attended over the phone, but when I got off the phone, my ex told them of my odd jobs I did in Minnesota to make extra money. (Plowing snow) there is not enough snow to plow in arkansas and it is impossible for me, a mechanic, to make 20 dollars an hour in arkansas. The child support office refuses to help me. They garnish the money every week from my paycheck but say they need more proof of what I make? I work 60 hours a week and they see this when they take my money. They are also charging me for daycare and she’s in school now. I cannot afford a lawyer because they’re draining me. I can not afford to even buy groceries (I’m on snap) I hired a lawyer 4 years ago and all he did was determine I was the father. I knew that, I signed the birth certificate!! So he charged me for nothing. I have no rights to my child, the ex will not even let me talk to her over the phone and actually has an order in place that I can’t talk to my daughter and my family cannot mention me. Please help.

  45. My husband’s ex-gf (with whom he has a 6 year old son) has not had a job in 6 years. She has two degrees and is fully capable of having one just prefers not to. She lives with her mother who provides for both of them, in addition to governement assistance she receives. Why should a father have to pay more simply because he has a job when she is choosing not to work. The grandmother also claims the child on taxes. We are now in a custody battle where the childs mother wants custody. How does that even make sense when she clearly has no monet to support the child aside from what she gets from us and government assistance.

  46. I went to court in upstate NEW YORK . My daughter wants to change her visits with her mother . my daughter is 13 years old . she wrote a letter to her lawyer and judge in this matter . nothing was brought up about her rights or she didn’t get to talk to the judge about this matter because her lawyer lie to me about things and nothing was change in this matter . she still has to seem her mother and she doesn’t want to every other weekend . what can we do next in this matter .

  47. How am I still paying $800/mth for my son when I am barely making $400/mth on my new job. I keep getting judgments filed against me because I have no money to travel to the state where he is and the system is not fair. I will pay whatever I have to but I feel it is not based on my current income. He is in the military for Christ’s sake and I feel that what he is doing is illegal. Can someone help me please???

  48. I own my own business and it was not bringing enough income..I filed a modification for alimony and child support and my ex’s lawyer was aggressive and my Mom paid off my Alimony at a discount 75k.. I still owed $1500 a month in child support. 5 months later my business has gone to zero and I didn’t pay 3 months support through the state. They now have a judgment against me and her lawyer has filed a case against me.. I have my kids every other full week 50/50 and I’m a great father. I told ex I’m looking for a new job, but she is unreasonable. What can I do? I can’t afford a lawyer and my Mom has had enough..

    1. Ken,

      I actually have a question for you. You may want to help me and you may not. However, my ex-husband has a very lucrative HVAC business in California. He makes well over 90K if not more. I can’t afford an attorney as they are way too high priced. I don’t have proof that he makes that much because he falsifies his income on taxes, etc. I know for a fact that he makes this much because I am the one that opened his business for him and ran it for 10 years. How did your ex get the proof that she needed for the courts to say that you owe her money? The courts turned me down because he claims he makes just a bit more than I do.

  49. I have a situation. After months in court I received a stipulation from the public defender. I have asked for the original order and they will not produce it. The problem with the stipulation is… I wasn’t there and I didn’t sign it back in 2003, a few months after my son was born. My son’s mother was a paralegal and had someone in the office she worked at do the stipulation without my knowledge. So now I wonder whether the whole support case was built upon a fraudulent stipulation.
    From what I know everyone should be present at the time of signing a stipulation in front of the attorney and both parties…that wasn’t the case. The stipulation looks to be copy & pasted with three different dates. I would like to know if a stipulation can be put in place without my knowledge and falsified and still have an order submitted for child support? Thanks!

  50. My husband has a 16 year old son from his first marriage, which he hasn’t been able to see for at least 9 + years even though they’re suppose to have joint custody. The child’s mother wouldn’t even let my husband leave the house with his son and has filled his head with so many lies. For 15 years he was working at a job that paid $22/hr. He was paying $180 a week in child support. He lost that job and was out of work for almost 9 months. When he started getting unemployment they were taking $200 a week out of $400 a week. At his job now he only brings home just under $400 a week until Jan 2015 when his health ins. take affect. Than he’ll only be bringing home $230 a week. He fell behind on child support. We can’t pay half the bills we have now. I am disabled and therefore can’t work. I receive ssd once a month and worker’s compensation bi-weekly. We can’t afford an attorney at all to take her to court to lower the payments. The last time she took him to court to get it raised her parents paid for her expensive attorney and he got a DA and got screwed. So two questions. 1) What would be your suggestion? and 2) Can they take into account my disability and worker’s compensation payments?

    1. Btw, we also recently found out that my husband has a medical condition that requires medication that so far has costed us $300 out of pocket, because of no ins, for a 2 week supply and he has to be on this medicine for 6 months.

  51. Hi we are in California. My husband has been paying child support for his child who is autistic (he functions normal just has a speech problem) for over 10 years. The child has recently turned 18 and child support office stopped the child support and returned the overpayment of support for the month after his 18th birthday. After not paying for 4weeks child support has started again, and now they are saying he is backed up on the money they returned to him. Is this legal can they just restart it without a court hearing?? we are thinking the mother re enrolled him in school once the support stopped. She has also been collecting social security benefits for him and now that he is an adult he now gets adult ssi. Is is legal to receive support from the state and child support. Also she has no real employment she has been getting paid for being his caretaker. She is currently making over $2200 on one child and also collects welfare,snap benefits. Please help.

  52. hi so this is our case this year in feb. we went to court for custody of my step son and we lost custody in the beginning of this month and we have to pay 500 something of child support like before we had custody and we cant afford the payments of 500 because we have bills rent and my husband has to support me and our daughter and we think that 500 is too much a month.can this be lowered?

  53. I got divorced in September 2011. My ex wife and I were married in New York then moved to New Mexico. We have two children together. While we were married my wife got a job in Washington State. We agreed to move there with the children. She went up to Washington first with her parents in October 2010 and I stayed behind with our children because we had our house to sell and I had responsibilities to settle before moving. She came back and picked up the children in November 2010. We planned on me joining them in April 2011. In March 2011 she insisted I stay in New Mexico a little longer as we still had not sold our house and We couldn’t afford to have me out of work. In april I decided that I just wanted to make the move. She told me then that I could move up to Washington but I wouldn’t be living there with her, the children and her parents. I found out on Fathers Day that she had petitioned for divorced. The child support I was ordered to pay was $800 a month. I fell behind on paying that amount so she reported it to child support services and it went to court and now I am being garnished for $500 out of every paycheck. My hours at work have been reduced on and off for the past four years. Right now my hours are reduced to 32 per week. I now make $1.46 per hour after taxes and child support and insurance. My ex wife makes at least three times my yearly salary and she lives with her parents. This can’t be fair. I can’t even afford a phone or to travel to visit or gifts for their birthdays or holidays. This is not right.

    1. All you need to do is petition to have the payments lowered and see if you are eligible for any legal aid in your state. if not, just go to the court and request the paperwork, fill it out, pay the filing fee, if any, and get started.

  54. My boyfriends exwife is seeking an Order of Protection claiming that he hit his 6 year old son. I was present during the day in question and this never took place. His son also admitted to me twice that he lied (I have dated the calander of when these conversations took place). He told his mother of his untruth and her reply to him was “Whatever your father is saying to you is not true”. A hearing is set for Nov 13th in Queens County NY. The exwife has said to my boyfrinds mother that she does not want him in their childrens lives (they have 2 kids together). I am scared that this is just the beginning of what will turn into an eternal nightmare with this woman. They have a support agreement that was agreed on outside of court which is $1200 per month. When he approched her in the beginning of the year to sign papers stating that this was their agreement she then wanted to have addendums added which were never agreed upon or discussed (keeping the house in his name making it impossible for him to ever purchase a home). Once this current case is over with can he go to the courts and file something stating that this amount was agreed upon by both parties? I’m scared she will come after him in years to come and he will have a hefty back support obligation.

  55. I have 2 daughters that i raised basically on my own. They are now 35 and 31. When the oldest was 17 1/2 and the youngest was 14, they went to live with their dad. We agreed at the time that I would not pay child support because he owed me thousands of unpaid support. After a while, he filed on me and I am now paying off BACK support for daughters that are grown with kids of their own who never have or will ever see a penny of what’s going to him! He’s using the money to pay back support to another ex-wife.
    How do I get this stopped? Do I and can I sue him for all the thousands upon thousands that he never paid to me or can I just have this stopped and let it wash itself out?
    I am a very hard working single mom who is raising an 11 year old son by myself with no helpo and this man is literally taking food out of my son’s mouth. (Yes, I know, I can really pick ’em)
    Thank you.

  56. hi i have two kids one is 10 and the other one is 19 im paying current child support for the 10yr old and back child support for my 19yr old they are taking from my check every month $844 thats like half of my check its a hardship for me and my new wife can i get this lowered i have been told so many different things i dont know what to do

  57. Hi, I pay child support to my wife. She is now unemployed, how does this factor into the amount that I will have to pay for her. She was making $37K, she is only getting $434 in unemployment a week plus I pay her $1250 a month in alimony.

    I look forward to your response…

    Bill

  58. Hi there! I am ripped off financially by my ex. She has more money and I cannot fight for my son (8 years old) anymore. He has lived with me after our divorce for 3 years, and all that time his mother got me through the hell. So, I decided to refuse from my son, let her have him. When he grows up he would understand the situation. My question: do I have right to refuse, what should I do to minimize my expenses, I am now poor, without a job?
    Thank you.

  59. need a question answered please

    Just a question about child support and custody. My husband has a daughter from his first marriage that he pay child support on and now he just recently found out that he has a 7 yr old child. The woman did not tell him at all until she got out of the military. Now she lives in florida and does not want the child to see my children that are also my husbands children. My husband is in the military and we will be moving across the country from where the child lives with his mother. So my questions are, do they take into consideration that he pays child support for his daughter and also takes care of our children and how can he get to see his son that she has kept from him for the last 7 years?

    1. need a question answered please

      Please let me clarify not only does she not want her child to see my children but she also doesn’t want her child to visit with my husband unless it’s just the 3 of them exclusively in her home.

  60. My husband and I just recently got married a few months ago. He already had a child support agreement and visitation with his son’s mother but not his daughters. His daughters mother attempted to refuse to let his daughter be a part of our wedding without us paying her $1,200 first, when we refused we got a court hearing to set up permanent visitation rights to prevent her from playing her games (one of which was changing the court date to the date of our wedding) That then led to her taking us to court for child support. We just went to court a little over a week ago and she was granted $179 a week plus half of any extra curricular activities she decides to put her in (which currently consists of Dance, Gymnastics, and Swim lessons) which roughly comes out to about $1,000 a month with everything included, Plus he also carries the health insurance for both kids which is another $90 a week. We also have her a lot more often than the visitation agreement is set for, I’d say almost 50/50 instead of the Tuesdays after school until 8 and every 3rd weekend. She is refusing to wait the few weeks it takes the DOR to start taking the money out of my husbands pay and is trying to force us to give her the cash up front, I had to threaten to call the cops on her when she refused to let my husband drive away after dropping their daughter back off to her because she was holding the car door open and refusing to step away until he handed her the cash which we don’t have right now. I’m worried we’ll end up paying double for the first few weeks. And now my step sons mother is bringing us back to court to try to get more money as well. We already can’t afford our bills with the amount he is paying out now. Do we need to be giving her money now, or does she need to wait for the DOR? and is their anything we can do to lower the amount? I don’t think my husband really thought about the amount of bills we have before agreeing to everything she asked for.

  61. Does the custodial parent’s income get factored into Child Support? Or reasonable expenses that a child would incurr? We are currently paying $1100 a month for a 9yr and 6yr old. When my boyfriend was married to their mother she was a stay at home mom. 6 months before the divorce she got a state job and according to her is now making around $17-18 an hour, and is looking at a promotion in the next 3 months. The kids are no longer in daycare because she moved into her boyfriends house (he’s a home owner) and he picks the kids up from school daily. (something their dad use to do till she moved to a town 30 minutes away). Now that she has moved – she also expects him to do all of the driving to pick up and drop off. There are no reasonable accomodations (half way or one pick up, one drop off). We’re all for making sure that the kids have what they need. But honestly – the money issue is starting to alienate the kids from us. She is taking expensive trips with them and pretty much buys any insane thing they ask for. So when they are here, because we are barely making it they complain they would rather be at mom’s because we can’t afford to do the things with them she can. We don’t want to take them to Hawaii, but to be able to afford to take them to the movies once every few months would be awesome! Isn’t there a balance that needs to be kept? oR is it okay in the eyes of the courst for the father to essentially be paying 3/4 of the kids expenses? If the mother isn’t at poverty level and isn’t drowning in living expenses…Shouldn’t it be a 50/50? Can the child support be adjusted to take into consideration her living expenses, income and the expenses of the kids?

  62. Well I guess lesson learned …safe sex or stay in a relationship till as long as you can.
    I have 2 kids two different people….and with Obama Care , etc..Having to pay the medical insurance increase and not to mention when a parent goes back to do their revaluation of child support,,,they look at your last year tax info.. I demoted myself to move back closer to my kids from making 60000 a year to 40,000 yet Im paying on the 60000. I happen to have both my exes reevaluate their child support…Now I pay two women more than i actual take home in a month and i work min 50 hours week. and if that dont sound bad ..remember the amount was off my wages last year..I TAKE home 522 every 2 weeks or 1044 month…Are you serious…Whats the point in this…I’d rather quit…I have no money for nothing else but nills and barely can make these payments…It’s ludacris….Something has to change with this

  63. My x-wife just decided to quit her job and now she stays at home with our 2 kids so this would take away from the daycare expense. Now she and her husband live off of his job as a used car salesman and what I pay them. If I take her back to court and she does not have a job would I be able to lower the amount I pay her? I don’t mind paying but it should be for the kids not for the w-wife and her husband to live off of!

  64. Hello. My husband has a 4 yr old son from a teenage relationship. We now have 2 children, an almost 2 yr old and a 2 month old. He originally had a $600 a month child support payment. He got a better job 2 yrs ago ($18 an r) in construction so it is not the most consistent job ever. She found out and took him back to court. The court awarded $1233 monthly to her because she sends her Son to an $18,000 a year daycare. She works at a grocery store as a cashier and her parents pay the tuition. In a normal 40 hr week she takes home more money than my husband does. How is this ok? We got a lawyer too and they still awarded that much. What do we do if they are taking more than 55 percent of his take home pay?

    1. This is a tough situation for sure. Technically, he has to pay for a portion of daycare expenses, but they should be “reasonable” in cost. There really doesn’t seem to be a valid reason for an $1,800 a month daycare – that seems ridiculous. File a motion to reconsider, and of utmost importance is showing the court proof that it is an unreasonable price. To do this, you should find multiple daycares that are nice and that are in the similar geographic area (within 10-minutes). This is how you win that battle, not simply stating “it’s too much money!” Give one of our experts a call, we’ll sort it out.

  65. so i have been paying for years, and although mine was set when i made more and they have never lowered it, my daughters have since graduated and now only my son is still a minor, but i owe a large amount of back child support to my exwife and much of it accumulated while i was incarcerated over a decade ago. since then a friend of mine mentioned to me that texas has a process by which you can take advantage of a reduction in payments even retroactively, which would also reduce the significant interest that has accumulated on this back support? is this a service you would provide? filing the forms to reduce this back support and interest owed?

    1. Yes, we can help! Give us a call. It’s not free, obviously, but you will save thousands of dollars in the process. Most states have a program called “clean slate” where child support that accrued during incarceration can be erased. Contact our Texas team of attorneys and see if you qualify!

  66. I have been paying $150 per month in child support for over 5 years and now my ex is wanting to take me back to court to get more money because she states our daughter’s needs have significantly changed. She’s been in school for a few years already, no medical issues or anything else. Over this period of time, I’ve acquired new debts and have medical issues that require specific foods. My case is through Pennsylvania; will they calculate my debts and food requirements before taking more money?

    1. No they will not. The courts do not care about you or even the mother – they care about one thing only: making sure your child’s needs are met. Realistically, $150/month is a pretty tiny amount of money to pay for the following: food, clothing, a second bedroom in an apartment/bigger house. You may be experiencing hard times, but the court system will view your child as the victim, not you, so my advice: do all you can, get a second job, don’t waste money on things that aren’t necessary for survival, and hopefully things will fall into place soon. Good luck, and keep your head up.

  67. I have been paying $113/week in child support for 16 months. This amount was not mandated by the court, but agreed upon between myself and my daughter’s mother. Throughout that time that I have been paying this amount, my daughter’s mother has repeatedly harassed me for more money, which I never complied to because I cannot afford it. As it stands right now the amount I pay is crippling me financially. I am unable to move out of my parents house because I cannot afford rent, and I cannot save money to replace my car which was destroyed in an accident five months ago. The amount I pay in child support is preventing me from moving on with my life.
    Meanwhile, my daughter’s mother just got a brand new SUV. I have no actual way of proving it, but I can’t help but feel as though I am making those car payments! I want to petition the court to lower my payments, but I am afraid they may raise my amount. I have no idea how thy could justify such a thing, because I am already paying beyond what I can afford, but I have heard of courts doing such a thing anyway. Even if we do go to court, I am afraid my daughter’s mother will lie to the court about her expenses, something I know she has done before.
    What do I do? Please help..

    1. Give us a call. Normally, a calculation of what your support is supposed to be can be done in a few minutes over the phone and we can find out if we can help.

  68. I BEEN BEHIND IN CHILD SUPPORT .NEVER CAUGHT UP AT WHAT AGE DO THE CHILDREN REACH WHEN I STOP PAYING CHILD SUPPORT.

    1. You will have to pay until the entire amount is paid off. If you owe back support, and the kids are 50-years old, you will still be paying child support for those kids.

  69. My partner has a nine year old son that we raised for 6 years. His mother took him from us and moved. She then filed for back child support and full support. We do not have a court order for visitation because we can not afford an attorney after paying child support. My partner only makes $281 a week after insurance and support. He provides for the four of us. His son is upset and wants to live with us again. He misses his little brother and sister. What can we do? Illinois claims that the mother gets custody unless she is proven unfit. But her son wants to live with us. His mother routinely keeps him from us and then states that we do not want him. She is wanting to file for sole custody. She demands extra money/clothes and if my partner can not pay for it she does not let him see his son.

  70. Hi. I have gone through the process of requesting a modification of child support on my own. My ex husbands income has increased by about 100000 yearly as he is a contractor in Afghanistan and he had seen out son once in the last year. The family support division in missouri granted my request and proposed the modified amount. My ex husband requested a telephone hearing that was scheduled for today. I got a call this mornin from the division if legal services saying his council requested a continuance which was granted. I didnt even know he had an attorney. Do I need to get one for the hearing. I thought the amount was set up on guild lines so I’m not sure what there is to contest. Thanks for any feedback

  71. Custodial parent is requesting a modification for child support. She moved kids to another state in 2010 and hardly get to see my kids anymore. My oldest graduated from HS this last May, so the child support dropped less than $100 and my other minor son is 14. I was just served to appear at hearing. In the paperwork is her testimony of what her income/expenses are. She now makes more than me since she started working last year. But she claims that she lost her $1200 disability check in April and that her niece no longer pays her rent and has moved out and that her child support was lowered. She also claims that she pays $2200 in rent and over $2300 in automobiles, this she wrote she pays because her low credit rating. She is remarried and her current husband makes well over $100,000. My income is slightly more than it was 3 years ago, plus I have 2 other children from current marriage and my wife was laid off and is back in school. How can I prove that my son’s circumstances have not changed materially/substantially. It’s obvious she needs to get out of debt. I know I have an obligation and have always paid and will continue to do so, but I don’t think it’s right that I have to pay for her mismanagement of finances because I know it’s not for my kids.

  72. Antonio Richmond

    I put in for a modification over 6 years ago because the job I had when child support was issued had changed extremely and I have 2 new children I support. My question is does the judge ever retro the child support from when I requested the modification? 2nd question the child that I was being charged child support came to live with me for 4 years and is now 17 and just moved back with her mother in Baltimore, all the while I was being charged. (can that be waved?) I have lived in Arizona and have for the past 10 years, the original case was in Baltimore. 1/2 my check goes to ex wife for back child support and all my tax returns. I need to get this resolved before my child turns 18 and case is closed.

  73. Hi,

    I recently received an amended child support requiring me to pay a weekly amount. The problem is I get paid bi-weekly and the amount they want me to pay is twice what the court has ordered. This was all done in error by the state (Illinois)and I understand there is a process one must go through to correct it. My question is how do I go about getting back the money that was overpaid since it was through no fault of my own? That’s just a broad look at my scenario. There are more details to it but this has really caused a hardship for me and I’m hoping that there is some way I can be rewarded for my loss(es) since I have never missed a child support payment.

  74. I have a question as a mother and I am all FOR FATHER’S RIGHTS be ause I was a child who grew up without one.

    However my question is this, my oldest 2 daughters 22 and 19 father paid $150.00 onetime inall the years I raised them. I live in NC they WILL NOT CROSS STATE lines for child support.
    Over the years I tried to do everything within my power to get some kind of help I even contacted MI where he had 2 other children and that state had issues a federL warrant I think called obscenity warrant where they would and could cross lines. They nabbed him finally after years of hiding using others ss#s living under other names.
    I contacted his probation officer I. mi to get him while in AL after explaining that he had a court order here and he hadnt paid anything but the $150. He had the AL PROBATION officer arrest him on his check in the state of AL allowec him to sign his own bond and he was GONE AGAIN, I have recently found him in FL however my state still will not cross state lines.
    Ironicallyi found him through my 22 year old daughter who he made contact with once she turned 18. NOW THEOUGHALL OFTHIS I NEVER KEPTHIMAWAY FROM HIS CHILDREN OR FROM HIS FAMILY HERE IN NC WHO LIVE 45 MILES AWAY but they never came to visit the girls they never received calls or cards for anything.
    MY QUESTION
    HOW DO IGET ALL the years of past support owed to me? Or am ieven able to do so? Both of my girls are own their own now but they could certainly use that money one wans togo to NC STATE AND SHE HAS EARNED THE GRADES BUT I cant afford to send her there.

    Please help me because MY STATE NC WILL NOT CROSs STATE LINES

  75. i had a daughter while i was in the military, my child support was set up my last month in and now dont make close to what i use to make. so much so that they would have to take over half my pay to get what my child support is set at but the state of missouri wont let them take more than half ( my child support was set up in washington. my question is will i have a warrant put out for my arrest since i cant make enough to cover my child support. i have tried filing to have it reduced since i dont make enough but some how my paper work has been getting lost in the system for months now and i cant afford a lawyer to handle the paperwork for me let alone live a life with anything more than ramen noodles and a matress on the floor

    1. Listen, you need help if this is across the country. you obviously cannot afford to fly there for multiple court dates, and allowing child support arrears to build up will cost you thousands more than a lawyer! Work out a payment plan and file a petition to modify support to proper way. Give our team a call, we’ll do our best to put you in touch with an expert child support lawyer in Washington!

  76. I’m writing on behalf of my boyfriends. He has a 7 year old daughter with his girlfriend from college, whom he was never married. He has been paying about $400 every month for 2 years in child support (court ordered) but his baby mama just recently got a new job and is making triple what she did when the court ordered the original child support payment. He also has the child under his insurance. My question is, if he files a motion to modify the order, will his child support amount likely go DOWN? We are in Ohio.

  77. I have two separate child support cases, with one being in New York and the other in Philadelphia. The 1st case is in NY and is for my son who is 14, the second is for my daughter who is 4. For the 2nd case me and the mother agreed my daughter would receive the same amount as what my son gets and the order was placed. Recently we went back to court because she was seeking more money and won the case even though she wasnt present during the hearing while I was… they raised it significantly even though it is known I have another order of support even prior to the 2nd one. NY usually does it by percentage… isnt Philadelphia court supposed to acknowledge this? Can the 2nd child receive more than the 1st child or in this case the 1st order of support?

    1. Speak to one of our expert child support attorneys right away. Make sure that you put on our site the Philadelphia zip code where your other child lives so that we can put you in touch with one of our Philly attorneys.

  78. My situation is this. Me and my ex have two kids oldest 16 years old. I have full physical custody of my oldest for the past 12 years and pay a monthly child support for my youngest who is 12 and I have been paying that for 12 years. On top of paying the child support I also provide for all of my youngest childs financial needs, from clothes sneakers medical dental money every week for school. My ex does not pay for any of either childs personal financial needs. I am also now married with a step daughter and a baby on the way. My ex is now filing for an increase. How would the court calculate my child support given this situation?

    1. Keep in mind that the only thing that counts as child support is paying child support. Paying for extra things is not child support. It is unfortunate that you have been spending so much money and that the law does not normally treat this as support, but as a gift. speak to one of our expert child support attorneys right away!

    1. It depends on a few things, including what state you are in, whether you owe back child support arrearages, and how many children you have with this person and also whether you are supporting anyone else outside of those children (new children from a different relationship, etc.). If you are in Texas, they can garnish up to 50% of your “disposable income”, which is essentially your net earnings. Because so many factors are involved, it is probably a good idea to contact one of our attorneys in Texas and see if they have calculated your child support amount correctly. Good luck!

  79. First off; thank you for your time and energy in reading my email. The follwing is my question.

    My brother unfortunately had a one night stand when he was 18, the woman was 21. 9 months later my brother got a call that he was a father. He has been extremely responsible with his son these past 18 years, even though the mother has tried to make things as difficult as possible on him. His son should be graduating from high school this year. But he won’t be graduating. The mother hired a child advocate and demanded the school hold him back, and extend his schooling until he is 20. She also has put the child in all special needs classes; he is NOT special needs btw. The school did not want to put him in the classes, or hold him back, in fact the school had a board meeting about the situation and DID NOT want the child to be held back. But the mother went to great lengths to have this happen. (She is a very demanding woman and its her way or no way.) So they finally agreed to hold him back and put him in special needs classes. It’s obvious she’s doing this to prolong child support. Can my brother fight this at all?? What are some of his options? This seems crazy to me. Thank you. Location; State of Arizona.

    1. Ordinarily, Arizona courts will end child support orders when a child reaches the age of 18. However, an exception exists where the child has not graduated from high school yet, in which case the child support can be extended to 19 years of age (see source: http://www.azcourts.gov/familylaw/ChildSupportFrequentlyAskedQuestions.aspx ). Probably, if he is to file a motion to terminate child support based on the age of majority, his chances of winning are good. Courts do have certain discretion when it comes to situations like this, especially if they do determine the child is special needs, in which case, they may be able to extend support even longer than 19, but this is extremely rare. Speak with one of our attorneys right away and find out what his rights are.

  80. My husband and I live in Wisconsin. We were recently in court with his son’s mom and she provided the court with a Microsoft excel spreadsheet of all of the past medical expenses (this was done the day before we were in court), which total around $12,500.00 My husband agreed to pay half. After my husband paid his ex half of the past medical we found out that the total past medical was just over $6000.00 and it is all in collections. Do we go back to family court with this or do we take her to small claims court? She has no idea that we know about this.

    1. Go back to court immediately, she lied to the judge, and the judge will not forget it. In the future, make sure that you receive copies of the actual bills and talk to the medical providers prior to ever paying anything again!

  81. My husband has shared custody and the mother is the custodial parent of a 6 year old. The court has signed two separate Orders stating that the mother is to carry the health insurance for the minor child, while my husband is to pay her child support. The state of CO also says that Medicaid is considered public assistance and is secondary to private health coverage plans. If the children are on Medicaid, the parent ordered to supply health coverage is still held responsible to provide other health coverage. Long story shortened a bit, the mother has never supplied anything but Medicaid for the child and has refused to share any medical information with my husband.. records or policy information. Because of this, her school was threatening to put a temporary stop on education with the child because the mother would not supply her shot records to the school nor my husband. Since then, my husband has supplied his child with private health insurance for 2 years now to ensure that the child has insurance and her health is being maintained properly. As of 8 months ago, the mother let the child’s medicaid expire and no longer carries any sort of insurance for the child. November of 2013, we could no longer afford to carry the private insurance for the child and pay $611/mo in child support. My husband corresponded with the mother to tell her that we can no longer afford to supply her child support and pay for health insurance and that the child’s policy would be dropped November 1, 2013. The mother does not care and states that private insurance is too expensive to obtain through her husband’s job, despite the rest of her family having health insurance (husband and child). We have filed 2 Contempt of Courts and they have both come back denied.Meanwhile, the child is left with nothing. What are we doing wrong and why will the courts not stand up for the child’s rights unless it is to do with child support to the mother? The past 2 lawyers we have hired have done terrible jobs defending my husband and his daughter is suffering in ways that are unimaginable (being locked in her room and being forced to pee on the floor being one example)and having her rights for healthcare violated. In the end, we have paid over 10k in lawyer fees NOT including having to pay for her lawyer when we lose in court. At this point, all we can do is file our own paperwork, which keeps coming back denied! Our child and family is suffering at the hands of a woman who has manipulated the courts and my families income.

    One other concern: Even though the mother is custodial parent, we have the child Sun-Wed of every week, meaning that the majority of her schooling is in our parental time. The thing is, the mother has signed the kid up for a school that is 15 miles from our home- which is a big deal in Denver. It keeps us on the roads for 2 hours per day. The expenses of gas and car maintenance are eating us alive. When there is snow/ice on the roads, the child misses school because it is so far from us. When our car broke down, we had no way of getting her from school other than relinquishing our parental time so that the mother could pick her up from school. We are being cornered and this is turning out to be a financial burden that we can not recover from, not to mention that we lose out on parental time because of it. The mother refuses to cooperate in any way. What can be done about any of this?

    1. The best thing you can do is to get a child representative or guardian ad litem involved in this case. This is an attorney for the child. They do not represent you or the ex, only the child. They are impartial, but you two will be the ones responsible for paying for it. The reason this is a good idea is that the child representative will impartially interview all parties and the child and find out if something is wrong or not. They will then write a report and present it to the judge, who absolutely will heed their opinions. If you go to court, you can ask the clerk of your county for a list of possible child representatives that are appointed by the court, or, file a Petition to Appoint a Child Representative with the court and ask the judge to appoint one of their choosing. Good luck!

  82. I have a court order of $2100 a month for child support for my. 17 years old daughter. Over the past 16 years her mother and I have agreed to modifications due to income increases and decreases. In addition, to the monthly support I have paid for all extra curricular activities, health insurance, private school, car, etc… Again, all this was mutually agreed to by both parents for the past 16 years. Now, my daughters mother is stating I owe her “back payment” for any month that I paid less than $2100. Can she legally get this even if I have emails proving this is what we mutually agreed to?

    1. Ordinarily, in most states, if there is no court order in place stating that you have to pay a certain dollar amount, a parent cannot go back in time and collect lesser amounts based on your now higher income. However, I have seen father’s fall victim to this because they were not represented by an attorney. Keep in mind that a states attorney or a child support judge will put anything past someone who isn’t an attorney – I see it happen all the time. You need to get a professional in court to stop this abuse from happening, it sounds like you have been paying more than you should have had to in the first place by taking on extracurricular’s and schooling on your own.

  83. I am seeking advice for a male friend. He lives in California and his ex wife lives in Utah. His daughter has lived with him for the past 2 years, without any child support from her mother (she claimed she did not work, which we have since confirmed was a lie). His daughter has now recently moved back with her mom, in Utah. Her mom is now seeking child support, but has filed her request for support through a California court. She is doing this, since she would possibly receive more support, than if she filed in Utah. Can she legally do this? If he pushes back during the hearing, stating she should request through Utah courts (the state she and her daughter resides in) would the courts in California listen? Is it true if she files in California she would receive more than if she filed in Utah?

    1. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to find out which state he will pay less support in without actually knowing all the numbers: her income, his income, monthly expenses, insurance costs, etc. Give us a call, we’ve got California attorneys that are happy to discuss this with you. Technically, jurisdiction should be where the child is if there is no order already in place, but it is possible to file in the state where the father lives as well. Child support in California and Utah is difficult, give us a call.

  84. My Fiance has a six year old son with his ex girlfriend. She definitely goes out of her way to make things hard. We have his son, Aden, every Thursday and 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend. This arrangement is going on it’s 3rd year this September and she has made it a point to inform us that she will be taking my fiance back to get more money. He has been with the same company for over 7 years and has had a few raises since. We take very good care of Aden when he’s with us and we cherish any moment we get. We made it a point to have a nice two bedroom apartment so he would have his own room. We spoil him with toys and clothes and all the joys of having a little boy. My fiance already pays $1,083 a month in child support which we find to be of the extreme already. We have had an ear full of their being absolutely nothing we can do because the TEXAS C.S arrangement calls for a minimum of 20% of his income. Is their a way to counter act this so she will not get anymore money? It just sickens us with the amount she gets already and Aden still comes to us asking for new shoes and clothes because all of his have holes in them. Nick carries him on insurance as well which we were also told is standard. And then we pay half of his medical bills and we also pay half for any sports activities he is involved in.

    So questions:
    1. As above, is there a way to keep her from raising the child support?
    2. In this 3rd year, is it possible to counteract for 50/50 custody? Or is this arrangement set in stone till he is 12?

    Thank you for any advice you can give. We are struggling in the unknown at the moment.

    1. One of the best ways to counter the raising of child support is to get close to a 50/50 parenting time split,so your idea is spot on. Now, this is not necessarily the easiest thing to do, because judges believe that a child should have structure in their everyday lives and a 50/50 split can cause problems at times. Slowly getting more time is a good thing – such as all school holidays, more time over summer vacation, etc., in an effort to build up the days. The other step would be to ask for a straight 50/50 with a petition for modification of custody/visitation. Normally, mot agreements will ask you to seek mediation first before going to court, but his parenting agreement may not necessarily call for this. This is a tough question – give us a call and speak with one of our Texas family law attorneys who can provide you with some guidance and represent his interests in court. Good luck!

  85. I live in WA but my daughter’s father lives in CA and that is where the child support is set up. She is 12 now, it took 8 years of him hiding to get him served. He has never paid a dime but is taking me to court for a modification. He is only ordered to pay $309 a month which is less than a person making minimum wage but he is going to school part time and has 8 felony fines to pay off so he cannot pay child support. Does this sound like something that will seriously hold up in court? Also he has only seen her a few times in her life, he has no visitation rights.

    1. If you live in Washington but the initial case was set in California, you can petition the court to remove the child support case to Washington since that is where the minor child lives. however, when a person changes their income level, the amount of child support changes as well, but it can be possible to get a higher than guideline support amount if you can show that the “needs of the child” require more money for support. Speak with a Washington child support lawyer to find out.

  86. My husband is behind on his child support due to losing his job but has now been paying his weekly amount plus some additional to get caught up. We recently got married and have 2 children together and of course he needs to support his other children but is it legal for them to be taking so much child support from him that we have to receive Public Assistance from the government because he cant afford to take care of the 2 children he had with me? Also other than having a roof over his other kids heads we feel the child support is not really being used to care for the children, I mean yes they are alive and have some food but every time they come to visit they have clothes that don’t fit and holes in their backpacks. Is it possible to pay for his ex wife’s rent/utilities and than food/clothes just for the children and other things along the way they might need instead of paying child support? Thank you for your time.

    1. It is not possible to get an accounting of how the child support is spent. That’s just not how it works. Depending on the state you live in, it may be possible to modify his child support based on the other children he currently has with you and needs to support. Keep in mind, this is a longshot though. Realistically, a judge will simply tell him that it is his obligation to pay the minimum support standards for the child. give one of our child support attorneys a call and maybe we can guide you in the right direction!

  87. Does the state of Florida take into consideration how many other children a father has, and pays child support for, before determining child support amounts?

    1. Yes this is a critical part of the process in Florida. Contact one of our representatives to help calculate your support!

    2. In most instances, yes, however, it will not necessarily mean that you pay a much smaller amount of support.The judge is going to view this as though the children are the most innocent parties involved in this situation and, to be honest, if you don’t have an attorney explaining things to the judge, the court will not care if you have to move in with friends or family or anything, they will only care that the children receive the support that the court believes they should receive. Don’t do this alone, you will lose badly without the right child support help. Your situation calls for needing an attorney.

  88. My brother was ordered to pay $600 in child support each month, which from what we understand is to cover food, shelter, and educational l expenses. He truly loves his daughter and money is not a concern. As long as he has her every weekend and holidays his happy (she his only child, so he basicly does whatever his daughter wants . His ex has remarried; in our religion (Muslim) once the mother remarried the child(ren) are to live with the father. His lawyer stated that this does not hold in court, which we understand that laws are separate from religion. I just want another opinion and was wondering if there is something that can help in get custody of my niece. Another question is how do we know that his ex is using the money toward my nieces. There have been times where my niece asks her dad to buy clothes, books and other items that her mother should be doing. Can he request documentation or get a monthly expense report?

    1. Unfortunately, no, child support and expense reports do not go hand in hand. Many men wish that they could receive an accounting on where their child support goes, but courts will not do this. The money should be used for part of the rent or mortgage, food, household utilities, and clothing for the children. Family law judges will not force custodial parents to provide an accounting of the child support money, unfortunately.
      Good luck!

  89. In May of 2012 my boyfriend was ordered to pay $725 in child support a month. About a week later he lost his job. He paid the support through unemployment and has continued to pay it with his new job even though he made considerably less. Custody was not set up at the time. In June of 2013 he filed for custody of his two children. She got a lawyer who filed tons of paperwork filled with lies. Everything from saying he has not had a full time job in years to him being a regular user of drugs. The lawyer ordered a drug test test which he passed. At the same time he was supposed to take a drug test his ex was supposed to also. She never did. In her filing she stated that he was keeping the kids from her, not letting her pick them up when she wanted. May and June of 2013 she only took the kids a total of 5 nights. Now there is a temp order in place saying that he is only supposed to have the kids while she is at work. Order states 3 days (and it says days, not nights) a week. She will pick them up maybe two nights a week and that is with a lot of hassle. She is now refusing to sign 50/50 papers so that we can get the child support order either lowered or eliminated.
    My question is, since she is not following the temp order, which her lawyer wrote, how do we proceed. She won’t go to mediation, or sit down and write out papers. She has been saying for almost 2 months now that her lawyer is writing out papers but they have yet to appear. Is there something that can be filed against her or something that can be filed to move it along faster?

    1. If she is in violation of a court order, you should hire an attorney yourself and have her/him file a petition for rule to show cause and ask that she be held in contempt of court. Also, asking the judge to appoint a Guardian ad litem or child representative for the child who can interview all parties involved and make a recommendation to the court (and it carries a LOT of weight with the judge!).

  90. I live in Kansas. pay $250 a month for my daughter and I have joint residential custody. why do I have to pay support when I receive nothing that supports the c.s. $ being spent on my daughter. example last year I claimed our daughter as agreed on in the court papers when I filled my taxes. I know my ex received almost half of the entire years sum of support yet nothing was provided (I.e. clothing or anything pertaining to entertainment)….. what can I do because I’ve recently become unemployed and guess who wants money?

    1. Unfortunately, most courts will not force a parent to account for child support money unless there is allegations of drug abuse, etc. For example, it is likely that $250 does not go to buy clothes, etc., for her, but is how much extra money she has to spend for a 2-bedroom apartment instead of a 1-bedroom apartment. Things like that are what child support is also used for. however, ?I do agree that it is unfair that you are not given an accounting of how the money is spent, but this is because a judge does not want to micromanage all 5,000 cases on his/her docket. If there is serious abuse going on with how money is being spent, bring it up at your next court date.

  91. Okay, I’m writing in regards to my boyfriends situation. He is currently going through a divorce for about 2 years now and they share a son together. He was taken to court and ordered to pay $124 a month due to his income $14 an hour and 20% custody. He now makes $12 an hour and was taken to the child support court and order to pay $675 a month and was just notified that he has to pay for health insurance for his son. My boyfriends ex makes $18 an hour. Although we believe she makes $20 or more per hour. This amount is out of control. He is not able to afford it and left with 600 a month for bills, food, car payment etc. that’s not yet including the additional money he would need to pay for health insurance that his ex states in her expense declaration form that she provides health insurance for their son $500 a month. My boyfriend has hired a lawyer but I don’t feel very confident about what he has said so far. His court date is in February and mediation in January. I’m just looking for additional information I guess. Since I’m not too confident in this lawyer.

  92. My husband began paying court ordered arrearages only of $ 500 + monthly to the NJ CSE in 2008. Both his children were already 18 and 21 when he began paying. Since 2008, the NJCSE increased his payment to over $ 700 and now currently he pays $ 905 monthly out of his disability check. Since the children were legally considered adults, and his daughter received her share of his disability award back pay as did my husband, and monies have been taken from his portion our tax refund as well as stimulus refunds how is his ex wife legally able to continue receiving such high payments? Each time we have tried to contact the Essex County CSE, we continue to get put on hold or redirected to the wrong office. We live in Arkansas and the grown children live in NJ as does the ex wife IS there anything we can do? Please help!

  93. My x got c/s w/o a child support worksheet in 2006. I went pro se in 2008. I presented it to the judge in 2008 and he told her to get a c/s w/s done and put into the court file. I was paying through the nose for my 2 kids. I had to drive some months 600 miles to exercise visitation. I didnt have enough for bills. Hence came foreclosure and wage garnishments. I did not have enough for decent food let alone pay my bills. Hence in 2011 I had a stroke and only in my 40’s. The state of ks has recently took my disability out of my bank account leaving me with zero to live on! Help!

  94. My husband was just recently ordered last December to pay $314 every two weeks in Arizona. Then we receive a notice that due to back-child support he would have to pay an additional $100 per pay check. He also was ordered to provide health insurance, dental insurance, etc. So his ex gets more than half of his pay a month. We have one child together and he provides for my daughter from a previous relationship (although it is crap that the state doesn’t recognize this-her father is MIA). Anyway, recently the DCSE put a levy on his bank account for the full amount of back child support! My husband provided his son child support (which he kept account of) before even having a court order, and she took him back for a full three years (She filed just midlast year). I think it is completely unfair that the DCSE is essentially having OUR children suffer because his other son’s mom waited to take him to court. What doesn’t make sense to me is that despite the fact he paid her monies before without being ordered to, they expect him to pay the full amount yesterday as if he was avoiding providing support this whole time. All they see is that he owes, and they don’t care about circumstances at all. How is that fair to, in a sense, punish a man for having a child and having that relationship fail between that child’s mother and himself? It makes it difficult to move on and have another family because of the “enforcement”- they take a majority of the father’s income away from his other children, to provide for the first. Ironic, the system that’s meant to help children is actually hurting them. Is there anything that could be done to make them back off?

    1. Unfortunately, we see this situation a lot because father’s do not do the right thing when it comes to paying support and keeping accurate records. If he paid her with a check or money order, he will have proof of all the payments he made. However, if they were cash payments or he does not have evidence he made payment, the court will treat those cash payments as though they never happened. It is essential to keep records of each and every payment ever made or anything purchased for the child so that his child support can be shown.
      You need an attorney to help lift the lien on his account. He will probably be able to set up a payment plan whereby he pays a little extra every month rather than the full amount up front for his back child support arrearages. Wish I had better news for you, but this is a difficult situation we see all too often, he needs professional child support help from an expert family law attorney.

  95. My best friend lives in Ca. where his has four kids with his ex who split up, a year after they split DCSS came in as I understand it from a call took the kids (not sure why) but during the court case his rights were terminated after the second court date in which he was notified by mail(I was at his house when he got it), three years later the gets a letter from LA County DA telling him with owe’s like 40k this was in 2000, now 2013 it’s up over 140k and he never seems to be able to get a head of the game, I know he had been working but is recently unemployed with an ever increasing debt that is sinking him and I don’t know how I can help…. I mean I know there was never children support set up by him or his ex, so it’s all coming from the DA’s office. Can they just take kids and charge the parents for it? I’m his best friend so I’m out to help him out I just don’t know what advice to give him or if there is a lawyer out there who could help

  96. I live in CA and am pretty frustrated with the court/child support system out here. My ex has on a continual basis dragged me into court and has my child support case reviewed at least every 5-6 months. The last time I went to court and tried to get more time with my daughter the judge blatently told me in open court that the only reason I wanted more time with my daughter was so I could have my child support decreased. Needless to say I was furious. I lived on $700-800/month (because I was made to pay 313.00 for child support and provide Medical insurance which totaled up to almost $500.00/month while only making $11.85/hr) and barely got by financially while I was finishing up Nursing school. I’m so frustrated when I have to deal with child support or the courts because from my perspective I feel they are biased toward the mother and only see me as a deadbeat father, which is nowhere near the truth. I love my daughter and only wanted more time with her but her mother will not willingly give me more time and the courts already have preconcieved notions as to my motives for wanting more time with my daughter. My ex has Physical custody but we share legal custody. Plus I’m frustrated because it seems that my ex seems to use the courts or child support as a means to constantly harass me if she doesn’t get her way with things. Is there anyway for me to get more time with my daughter? Thanks

    1. Unfortunately, California still is a little behind in recognizing father’s rights. Paying child support is a tough thing, we understand that, and it is even more taxing when a mother uses the system to hurt dad. Speak with one of our father’s rights attorneys, it may be possible, depending on the distance you live from each other, to take her back to court and obtain joint physical custody. This is sometimes allowed in California father’s rights cases, and if granted, could drastically cut the amount of child support you pay. Also, she should not be taking you back to court that often unless you are not paying on time, so make sure you pay on a regular basis. Speak to one of our father’s rights attorneys right away!

  97. I’ve been paying the same support for one child of $425 a month for almost ten years. Now my ex quits her job and decides she wants to attend rn school full time so she can finish her school.. With one catch… She wants me to agree that I pay her $650 a month for her hardship even though she lives with her boyfriend and had had two other kids of there own. I was nervous at first agreeing and disagreeing on emails. But my attorney said don’t talk to her anymore. It is not your problem that she quit her job.. But my concern is.. She is contracted and working out of her home probly making like $800 to $1000 a month.. But can she take me for more money even if it was her own doing???also she is constantly threatening me about money and that “I better agree or else type of crap” and the line she ganna take me for all I got.. Can I get her for harassing me?need fast advice please..

  98. My husband pays his ex-wife 90% of his paycheck. He had more money in 2006 when they divorced and signed an agreement saying he’d pay her $4500 per month in child support. At the time this was 25% of his income. Now, his income has been reduced to $80k per year. He is a teacher who used to receive quarterly dividends from a family trust. The family trust no longer exists because of the economic downturn, which he did not foresee. He took her to court last month to try to reduce payments but his useless lawyer was unable to prove to the judge that his income had in fact been reduced. A simple tax return from the family trust probably would have done it, but they obviously didn’t think of that. You get what you pay for I guess. The judge ruled he still has to pay the $4500. That leaves him with $300 a month leftover for food, bills, living expenses, etc. Unbelievable. I work but can’t make enough for both of us. Ex-wife is hostile and their relationship is acrimonious at best. He still has another 10 years of child support and it is just unsustainable at this rate. Both her kids are in school full-time. She chooses not to work. She has $700K in assets from a lump-sum given to her during the divorce. Can this judgement be repealed? Are there any further avenues for him?

    1. Hire a good family law attorney and please, contact your states Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission and report that attorney who should be disciplined or censured. An attorney on our site will fight this the proper way by going to hearing on a Motion to Reconsider and will show proof of the changed income, which will require bank accounts, pay stubs, and an accurate accounting of the family trust that has been depleted. Call now, stop suffering and get a quality father’s rights attorney on his side that will fight to reduce his child support amount.

  99. Me and my ex have an existing court order regarding visitation for our son that we have not followed for over 7 years. For the last 4 years, we have been sharing 50/50 (alternating weeks) physical custody of my son but she will not agree to sign paperwork to make it a new court order. I live with my wife and our son. She lives with her parents, husband, and their two other kids. According to our son, (11 years old) he is mostly taken care of by babysitters, his grandparents, or his stepdad, and not his mother. I am currently not working but am paying my child support diligently as originally ordered in the first custody/child support order. I do have documentation that supports how long we have been doing the 50/50 physical custody. Do I have a good chance of obtaining 50/50 custody if I take her back to court for a custody modification? We live in California.

  100. I live in PA and am paying $ 828.00 monthly for my 2 daughters. I payed $ 1400. a month for the first 3 years which I thought was way too much. I Contacted my Attorney a couple years ago to get a reduction in child support. We settled outside of court for my current amount. I also am entitled to pay 42% of after school care and camp in the summer. So basically I am still paying over $1000.00 a month for my daughters. My ex makes about $ 65,000.00 a year. while I make around $40,000 a year. She just bought a house with her fiance and is due to get married this Spring. Just wanted to know if since they will have duel incomes in the family, is it possible to contact my Attorney for another reduction in child support ?

  101. My ex and I are legally separated. She is required to notify me when she is living with another man. Currently her boyfriend lives there on weekends, and is supposedly on the road mon-fri out of town. When he is in town he lives with her though. His mailing address is outside of the city.
    My question is… are they considered living together if he lives with her when he is in town half the week? Or does his mailing address have to be the same as hers to be considered living together. This will change how much support I pay, in regards to what we agreed and signed off on. Not sure if I have a case or not

    1. Normally child support has nothing to do with where a person is living. It has to do with income and assets of both parents. speak to one of our experts, you can connect with one of our attorneys for free and they can give you an idea what works for you. without seeing the divorce decree or knowing what state law you are relying on, it is touch to give you good advice.

  102. My boyfirend has joint custody, and has been paying court-ordered child support through his employer for about 10 years. There have been spots where he was unemployed, so he is in arrears a bit, but nothing extraordinary. Now his ex-wife is demanding almost daily for him to pay her more more more, he is saying no, I’m giving you what you need and what was court ordered. She is saying now that she is going to file child support modification paperwork and a parental plan modification petition as well. The only problem is when this whole ordeal started she was unemployed and allegedly “without job skills” due to being a homemaker. Now she has a degree and state certification for massage therapy, as well her current husband is working, while I am the only one in our household currently with work. What I’m wondering is can her petitioning for this child support modification backfire and lower the monthly payments due to the switch? Also with then having joint custody will the child support changing have any basis on his rights? Right now we only see the kids every other weekend. He wants more time, but we haven’t had the money to get a lawyer to petition with him being out of work.

  103. I live in ca. My final court date in on the 26 of sept, I have 33% to her 66% her lawyer drafted a stip asking for zero child support and that I cover medical through my employment. 2 children 4 & 6. She agreed that I was to give her 400 mo . Without court order. So I went for it. I was laid off and lost medical. Now she is seeking support through the court if I don’t agree to reduce custody time. I just revised the FL 150 to reflect 0 income. Before vacating the residents I documented every penny she made it was close to 4k mo. She submitted 1,800 mo she is self employed and cooks her books, but the docs I have show checks from people not on the books for that date. What am I looking at for cs? and how can I get her real income recognized? Also every exchange of custody the boys are exposed to a litany of profanity as she freely expresses her self. So I have documented up 28 court violations not including what comes out of her mouth, does the court do anything with this or is it just a slap on the hand?

    1. Tough situation. Without a lawyer, you are in deep, I’ll be honest with you here. If you lost your job, you need to alter the amount you pay in child support. I would think that covering 2-children on health insurance will be significantly cheaper than $400/month, so you should immediately be looking into that as it will save you money over time. As far as out of pocket medical expenses are concerned, make sure it is an even split, or that is what could set you in the hole big time. Showing the court that she makes more money than she claims is good, although don’t forget that just because she took in $4k doesn’t necessarily mean she made $4k, there may be big business expenses involved that knock the income level down substantially – make sure you know this as well by requesting formal discovery the proper way.

  104. I live in pa. I have 4 children whom I pay child support for each. I dont have a problem with paying the support but I do believe its way too high. I gross about 1,000-1,100 every two weeks. so my net is about 800-900 every two weeks. My combined support payments every two weeks are almost 600. Thats more that half of what I gross AND net. I’ve attempted to get the payments lowered before but the case managers pretty much shunned me. Because of this i’m facing eviction from home. My utilities have been disconnected numerous times and I cannot catch up on things. Is there ANY way I can possibly have these payments lowered here in pa atleast by 100-200 dollars every two weeks? Atleast for a limited time? The one time they did lower it it was at the other parents leisure and it was only a 35 dollar difference.

    1. Family Law Advice

      Pennsylvania has difficult child support laws, it is not based on a percentage of income. The best child support advice rights now is this: you need to present, in a very organized format, all of your monthly bills (with proof, such as the actual bills themselves), and your income (bring in at least your last 10-pay stubs), and show the court that you cannot survive paying what you are paying. Ask that it be lowered to an amount that is more around 30% of your net income, rather than 50% of your net income.

  105. Hi, I’m from CA and my brother has a one year old child with his ex-girlfriend. They planned to get married but it never happened. Since my nephew was born, my brother has been helping his son financially. With a minimum wage salary, every two months my brother has been deposited $ 300 in the bank account of the baby’s mother. The baby’s mother does not work and lives with her parents because she was supposedly at college. Now my brother has been having financial problems for labor issues. In the past, she said that if my brother did not comply with that amount, she would deny him seeing his son; which my brother is afraid because he loves his son. She only lets him see his kid twice a week because of her religious beliefs. This has caused a decayed in my brother’s health both physically and emotionally. Until recently, my brother refused to take the case to court but we have been advising him to do so and the court will determine how much he will have to pay child support and how to fix the custody of the child but he’s still afraid to take that step.

    1. First of all let me be clear when I say NEVER DEPOSIT MONEY IN THE OTHER PARENTS ACCOUNT OR GIVE A CASH PAYMENT – NEVER NEVER NEVER DO THIS!!!!! I cannot stress this enough. Unless payment is made with a cashiers check or a personal check, there is NO PROOF that he made the deposit (they will not order banks video cameras for proof), so the court will treat it as though no payment was ever made. Tell him to stop this immediately. Also, go to court, and set up an Agreed order with the mother for the $300/month in support if that is what they agree on. That way, she can’t come back in the future (15-years from now) and claim she should receive the back child support which will bury him. On top of that, if she is on public aid and not paying support through the state, the state WILL eventually sue him and go after him to recover money they paid to the mother. Do this immediately, don’t get yourself in trouble.

  106. hi, this is for really for my son; it sickens me that his childs mother filed for support after 9 years for their 2 kids and after he married and had a son by his new wife. They never married; the problem is after he married everything changed; His ex was always either quitting a job or getting ;fired seems like every 2 years, about 6 months ago he quit to say she wanted to go to nursing school but we heard she got fired; she is going to school now; the problem is she filed for child support and is getting close to $1000/month for 2 kids; he can not afford this; it is taking over half of his paycheck and they will surely go bankrupt in the long run; his ex won’t get a job (says she is looking for one); we really need help to see what can be done; the kids are with him approx 3-4 days a week;it’s just not fair that she planned this to a T;we have always been in her corner and helped more than enough; another question, is child support based upon the income of both parties (husband and wife);please help

    1. Family Law Advice

      Child support in Ohio is based on a confusing schedule that is dependent on the combined income of both parents. If your son is paying $1,000/month in child support, it means that the combined income in pretty high. He should speak with an expert child support attorney in Ohio (we have tons of them to speak to here!) and have the child support amount recalculated.

  107. When my case was settled in court, they had based my support payments on a job that I had at the time but 3 weeks after that I got laid off and have been on social assistance instead and I believe the amount never got changed and I believe I owe way less than I should if anything at all. How do I go get this fixed?

    1. Family Law Advice

      You need to go to court with proof of this and file a Petition for Modification of Child Support. You will show that your income changed and that, until you are employed again, your support should either be “abated” (pay 0 for a little while) or seriously lowered.

  108. I am about to be paying child support. I live in Va. I was wondering why they base your income on gross amount and not net. Basing your child support payment on gross income is a false representation of what you make. I lose approximately 30% of my gross to taxes, insurance, soc sec, medicare, retirement. The difference in gross monthly income and net is approximately a $1600 difference. So basing my payment on gross and not what I actually make seems a little unfair.

    1. Family Law Advice

      Virginia bases its child support on your gross income, however, unlike many states that use net income as their calculation, the percentage of income that you will pay in Virginia lowers the more money you earn. For gross income of roughly $2000, you would pay around 16% of your gross income to child support. I understand what you are saying, but with income at that level, you are paying virtually nothing in taxes (you will get a big return at year end). Hopefully Virginia will change the way they calculate support in the future, there are bills that are being proposed in Virginia now.

  109. Nancy Velasquez

    Hi, my boyfriend has been paying child support thru court for the last 15 yrs in NY, last yr his ex took him to child support, because he did not want to pay for his daughter’s sweet sixteen party, because that’s not a necessity, and he asked why she does not take the child support money to pay for the sweet sixteen, she wanted 1500.00, she makes 60,000.00 a yr, my boyfriend 17,000.00. He has been going to court since july 2012 and said he is tired of going back and forth, but when his ex called him to asked him for money for phones ans paying his daughter’s phone bill every month, besides the money he gives her for child support he told her, he wasn’t going to give her nothing more than what he already gives her, she threatened him to take him to child support, can he get in trouble for not giving her money besides the child support? he did paid the bill, even though wasn’t right then and there but when he could, but he saw that her mother pay the bill and sent his daughter to get the money from him and give it to the mother, and his daughter used to tell her to tell her father “my mom said if you don’t give me the money she going to take you to child support”

    1. familylawrights

      Child support is a difficult to break down in some instances. Sometimes, an amount that you owe in child support can be raised depending on additional bills for the child. However, for the most part, telephones for teenagers are not a required item to have to pay for. Give us a call and we can go over the details of your case in particular. If the judge has already told him what he has to pay in support, that amount is all he has to pay. Denying a father the right to spend time with his children, even if he isn’t paying ANY child support is against the law. Your boyfriend needs serious father’s rights help and he can’t waste time or this behavior will permanently ruin the relationship he should have with his family.

  110. I live in Louisiana and have 1 child who I get 3-4 days a week. My ex took me to child suipport and I was ordered to pay her $800 a month. After the $800 they take out of my check there is no way I can live off of $1200 a month. What can I do?

    1. familylawrights

      What was the child support order based on? In some cases, you need to show the court what your monthly expenses are and what the actual needs of the child are so that a certain amount of support can be lowered or increased. In your case, if you break down all of your monthly bills and show your actual costs to survive, a judge will, in some instances, lower your child support amount, especially because you have a lot of visitation (close to 50%). File a petition for modification of support and include proof of all your monthly bills and expenses.

  111. My husband’s child support order from his previous marriage is in New York state. His Ex-wife is the custody parent and the decision maker. His ex-wife do not work now. His ex-wide keep adding the after school program , nanny, international travel for the child. Currently, my husband pay around 2000, which is half of his income. Could you please inform me, whether his ex-wife can unlimited “add-on” the after school program, private school, ex? I want to know whether the law do not consider my current family, in this trend, my husband’s income will left nothing for me , my husband, and my future child? The 17% from my husband’s income which is 1500—1600 is already good enough for this child. Right now, if my husband discuss with his ex-wife about this crazy add on, she do not listen, and even keep add on, if my husband do not agree with the fees she keep add on, she is threatening to report to the child support collector which will increase to 20%–25%, inhibit the license , and report to my husband’s company, which will result to my husband lost his job. I will really appreciate if you could inform me with this situation. I am pregnant right now, we will have a child born, which will give us a even hard life. Thanks a lot.

  112. My husband has paid child support for one of his children for a few yrs now he put his self on due to problems with visitation.. Now his oldest sons mother after 8yrs has filed for support also well he only works part time the first order already takes close to 50% of is income and the new order is asking for even more .. What steps does he need to take if they first agreed to no child support then later her lawyer keeps pressing for it and they agreed on a set amount but the order is way more than the amount agreed…

    1. also they are trying to take both orders of support from one part time income which will leave us with little to nothing and we have a disabled child of our own we still have to care for…

      1. familylawrights

        Just because they agreed to not go after child support does not mean that at some time, he won’t be forced to help take care of his children. While understanding that the other parent has done much wrong by the details you provided, keep in mind that the court wants parents to pay for their children, and the amount can hurt. If his support was based on him making more money than he is now, he should file for a modification of child support and show that his current income has decreased and that he should be paying less. He probably should not be paying 50% of his income, but he should be paying something. Couple that with the fact that he is only working part-time, and that needs to change or he needs to find a second job. The court can “impute” full-time income to an individual if they believe that the individual should be working more hours (closer to 40/week). I know this isn’t the answer you were looking for, but you need to understand how it works, even if it does not make it easy. File for a modification of child support asap and provide a detailed accounting of all your bills, income, etc., with all the facts (bills, etc) to back the numbers up. Make it simple to understand–judges do not like to be confused. Good luck!

  113. robert mission

    I live in California. My court ordered child support is $650. Since my income went up without a court order I paid my ex 1000 a month. My daughter graduates in two months and since I have been overpaying for the last five years, I am wondering if I can skip these last couple payments since I have been paying an extra 350 a month. My ex said she will take me to court for the 1000. The court mandated payment is still 650.

    1. familylawrights

      Trusting your ex to do the right thing was your first mistake. No good deed goes unpunished. Filing a motion for modification of support will only show the court that you have more income and should pay more money. Possibly, if you just pay the $650 that is ordered, you may be ok. By the time she files for a change, your daughter could be out of the house by then. Good luck!

  114. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKES FOR THE STATE OF FLORIDA CHILD SUPPORT TO CLOSE A CASE THAT HAS BEEN OPEN SINCE 2006 AND NO ACTION HAS BEEN TAKING?..and if im paying childsupport can i file for my child im paying child support for?

    1. Filing a Petition for Modification of child support or a petition to modify custody should get you started on the right path. Don’t wait for the state to do anything for you or in a speedy manner. Do it yourself, or better yet, save some money up and hire a professional–it will save you thousands in the long run!

  115. When my son and his wife divorced in 2009, they had shared custody. He got the children on Monday, Wednesday and every other week end from Friday to Sunday. He had a good job at the time and was to pay $800 per month as well as carry the health insurance. At the time, his children’s ages were 6 and 11. About a year later he lost his job, received severance pay and had health insurance for 3 months then was able to file for unemployment. He applied at the Child Support for a modification and it took the caseworker almost 6 months or longer to even consider modifying it. In the meantime, he found another job doing the same work for less money and several states away. After he had moved away, the Child Support agency decided to hear his case for a modification and I was to represent him in his place as his POA. I hired an attorney. This was a waste of time and money as my son got the report that since he was working the same kind of job he would PROBABLY make lots of overtime and the Magistrate would not reduce his child support. After 3 months, my son became so homesick and was unable to pay rent and expenses, he quit the job and moved home. He is now working for himself and struggling to pay child support. By the way, he lost his marital home in a Sheriff’s auction and the bank bought the home back and sent my son a 1099 form for $29,000. My son did not file income tax for 2012 for fear the 1099 would show he actually had made money and may increase his child support. What are his options?

  116. I now have a great new employer, and the only problem that I am having is that he is very confused by the orders, and now has told me that he is going to “withhold” my entire check until he gets confirmation from the state on the amounts that is owed. I am in arrears, and the current amount to be with held is around 240. Only problem is, I now get paid 250 a month in check form, and I am working for “in kind” pay for my apartment as an apartment manager. Yes, the 250 a month is not much, but he is going to withhold all of it. This could be MONTHS until he finds this out. What the heck do I do now?

    1. If you are receiving “in kind” payments, technically, you need to include that amount as income for the calculation of child support in some states. You may owe more than $250/month even, and may need to obtain a second job. Many judges can order people to get a second job to pay child support, so be ready for this if you rock the boat.

  117. I need help fighting the court system to lower my child support my ex-wife was in jail and i had to pay her cs ….she didn’t even have our children and i wasn’t given the option to take them when she went to jail it was kept a big secret i didn’t find out until it was to late. Now she is in a half way house and still don’t have our kids and i’m still having to pay 975 a mth for 2 kids…..don’t get me wrong i want to pay but i want it to go to my kids……we recently went to court ….I filed a modification to lower my cs because i’m not wking and haven’t for the past 2 years and all that cs has added up to 22,000.00 in arrears I filed in may of 2011 and just went back to court in march 2013 and didn’t do me no good…..I NEED A ATTORNEY BAD but i’m not working rite now would i be eligible for a legal aid lawyer?
    Is it legal for a woman to receive cs while sitting in jail ? I have so many questions but I don’t have a lawyer to ask them to…..PLEASE HELP! Thank You!!!!

    1. I understand your pain, it is difficult, but when you become unemployed you must file for a modification immediately, you cannot afford to wait until 2-years pass and the arrears in back child support add up like that–that can’t be reversed. Filing a modification immediately is important. Hiring an attorney for child support, in many instances, will pay for itself in less than 4 or 5 months, and you can guarantee that it would have cost tens of thousands of dollars less than a $22,000 arrearage judgment! You need to talk to friends and family, get a credit card, and hire an expert now before that $22,000 turns into $44,000! It will be the best investment you will ever make. And no, legal aid is normally not available for people that want to lower child support, usually only the other way around. Good luck!

  118. My husband pays $335 a week for two kids. At the time when they first went to court his children’s mom didn’t have a job and neither did her husband and he was working at a job making 16.75 an hour now he has a job making 10.10 an hour. Now i found out that she has a job at the hospital and hasn’t reported it to the court and is still pestering my husband. he tries to contact her but she blocks his calls and recently blocked both of us on facebook when we asked if we could see them. She is also moving too and will not let him know where she is moving too. What can we do?

    1. familylawrights

      The first step is filing a Petition to Modify Child Support. This is where you will show you are making less money than when the original child support order was entered. And in some cases,the other parents income can be taken into account as well. Ask the judge to require here to provide paycheck stubs and tax returns to show her income.

  119. I have 3 support orders. My son’s mother is trying to get support in Illinois when I already have an order for him in another state. They wanna give her more for 1 child than I paid for 2. I can prove she lied about her financial hardship, how can I fight this in court

    1. familylawrights

      Illinois is a state that follows s simple calculation for child support. for one child, you pay 20% of your net income to the custodial parent for child support. If you already have support orders for different children, either in Illinois or other states, you subtract the amount you are paying from your net income, and then take 20% of that amount. Hiring an attorney for child support in this instance is cheap and a really good idea so that you are not taken advantage of, usually only about $500-$1500 – and it will save you a lot in the long run!

  120. I live in California. I’m already paying child support ($900) from a previous divorce. Now I’m about to be divorced again and going to pay more child support (she wants $1000). Should I try to fight this in court or what exactly are my rights?

    1. familylawrights

      In most states, the amount of child support you pay will be lowered based on what you are already paying in child support from your first marriage. California has a tricky formula for child support, based on your income, the amount of time you will spend with the child, how many kids, etc. An attorney that provides a free consultation will help you out. Yes, you should fight. Depending on your income, ti sounds like this new wife is demanding too much money from you for child support.

  121. I live in CA and pay the maximum child support and I have been penny pitching to pay my other bills. Recently my ex moved to Colorado and now Im afraid that I wont have enough money to go see my children or bring them back to CA for their visitation. Can this be grounds to petition to lower my child support?

    1. It might be, it depends on a number of factors. Was there a parenting agreement ever entered in court? Technically, she cannot just pick up and leave with the kids without your permission or a court order. Doing so without permission could be a violation that could end up holding her in contempt of court and forcing her to move back. Speak with an attorney and get ready to go to court–it will be necessary. Get your credit cards ready too, its your best immediate relief for paying for visitation.

  122. I was injuried in a motorcycle accident and haqve been out of work for over a year, due to my injury. My twins mother had a me locked up by a jugde on 12/12/12 for child abandedment. The jugde would not hear my story on going throught five surgencies or look at any of my paperwork from my doctor. I am just now starting to walk, but i am still having problems due to this accident. What am I to do? I was turned down for unemployement because I could not work at the time. Truned down for SSI. I did get a small settlement which she got almost half $10.000.00 and what I had when to bills, shetler, and people i borrowed money from. This is in the state of GA.

    1. You are going to need to speak with one of our attorneys. Issues as serious as this require more than a paragraph response. Please contact us directly as soon as possible!

  123. Have shared custody, pay 125 weekly for two kids, ex taking me back to raise this, what can i do? style of living greatly differs

    1. Depending what state you live in, child support is determined in one of 2-ways: 1. a percentage of your net income, or 2. the needs of the child. If your ex is wealthy and you are not, it does not mean that you do not need to pay child support — you have an obligation to support your child. However, in certain instances where one parent is wealthy and the other is not, a judge can decide to lower the paying parents child support amount. You absolutely will need an expert child support attorney for this.

  124. Benjamin Brazinski

    My original order for child support in the state of Florida was based on minimum wage even though I was unemployed. The order also included child care and my child is no longer in need of child care now that she has started school. I live in another state and need to find help in getting the amount changed. I have two other children that suffer from the disparity of the percentage of my income that goes to my daughter. I also feel that the custodial parent was not forthright in the income statement since a large percentage of her income is cash….

    1. Proving someone makes more money than they claim, especially when they are paid in cash, is no easy task. An attorney would request financial and credit card records to try to determine the amount of money spent to impute that amount of spent money to how much income they earn. Only an expert child support attorney can help with this–it is not easy to do.

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