Father’s Rights: Advice for Unmarried Dad’s
Fathers need to establish paternity in order to have rights as a parent.

Father’s Day…it comes around every June and is supposed to be the one day that every father gets to enjoy “his” day. But, what happens when you are single and have a child? How many Father’s Day celebrations have come and gone with you sitting at home in front of the TV simply missing your children?

A father that goes through divorce, at least in most cases, has the courts behind him concerning his ability to spend time with the children. But, when a child is born out of wedlock, single fathers often find themselves at the mercy of the child’s mother. In more cases than we care to think of, the unmarried dad’s rights are simply ignored.

Today, more and more couples are foregoing marriage and simply living together. It is actually estimated that 40 percent of all children are born out of wedlock! When breakups happen in these cases, the father is merely the “alleged” father and is so only in his eyes. Without a paternity test, if the mother decides she does not want him to see the kids, he doesn’t see the kids.

So, how can an unwed father protect his rights to see his child?

  • Have your name put on the birth certificate. This may sound like something that would be automatic, but you would be surprised at the amount of times this space is left blank when the mother fills out the forms at the hospital. If your child is unborn, be sure to ask for a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity (called a VAP form), at the hospital when the child is born.
  • If you are getting resistance from the mother, you will need to file through government agencies to “officially” prove your paternity. Agencies such as Child Support Enforcement will be very helpful. It may come down to requiring a DNA test, which will obviously help your case as the actual father of the child.
  • Another course of action to go to family court. Here you can file a petition for paternity and child custody. The courts will mandate a paternity test to prove whether or not you are the father of the child.

As the father, even though you may not realize it, you have rights to be involved in your child’s life. Decisions such as schooling, religion, and medical care are all decisions in which you should be involved. If the mother of your child is purposely preventing you from seeing your child and being involved in his or her life, it probably time to take the battle to court so you can protect your rights as a father.

16 thoughts on “Father’s Rights: Advice for Unmarried Dad’s”

  1. Hello my name is Michael Gammon and my daughter her name is Brooklyn Gammon and her mother is Ivorie Hall and she got a boyfriend I give my daughter money every month and sometimes when her mother ask me to but when I don’t have the money when her mother ask me she gets mad at me and say stuff like I’m not a good father don’t nobody wants me around I cannot see my daughter anymore If I can’t help her with money leave her alone I do text her to check on my daughter from time to time

  2. Johnta’ Mahoney

    I’m 27 years old. No record. Hard worker. Family man. I fell on hard times and my ex fiancé took my kid. My dog. And entire everything I build for our family and kicked me out on the streets. I soon got a got, a vehicle, and began to become stable all with in a 5 month stretch. Well no for her own selfish reason she has decided not to let me see my son. I don’t receive any photos. Videos. She has never told me about doctors appointments. Usually changes them. I have went almost 3 out of the five months with out hearing or seeing my child. I don’t even knew if he’s okay ever. I know nothing about him at all. And I want nothing more then to be a father and be there for my son. How can any of this be legal? I signed the birth certificate. He has my last name. What else could I possible do?

    1. Through the ringer

      Welcome to The Family Court system, since your a man, you’ll be enslaved for the next 23 years (if in NJ) to pay for your child and most likely you’ll not see him regularly and he’ll be trained to hate and distrust you.

      The Family Court system delights in seeing grown men cry, beg, and plead to be able to see their children. Oh your want to hire a lawyer to assist you navigate the system, perhaps see your child…well you need to cough up a $2500 retainer. A few weeks pass by and guess what the lawyer needs more money to file more useless paperwork. Don’t worry for all the money your spending you’ll need to purchase a big filing cabinet to put all your court papers in.

      Why does my child seem to dislike seeing me on every other weekend, well that’s because your ex-wife is practicing and very skilled at “parental alienation” she’s filling your child’s head full of lies about you. That you don’t care, you don’t miss them…blah..blah..blah…but since you can’t see your child the “alienator” wins.

      A few years go by and you try to get more time but the court is going to do everything in their power to destroy you, treat you like a criminal…this is family court and there’s no law or justice, the whole multi billion dollar machine is designed to destroy the American family by specifically targeting the man, the father. They know that your marked the first day you walk into that court room.

      18 years go by and $150,000 dollars of child support plus court\lawyers another $100,000 and guess what, your child is hating you, mom told her you give them nothing, while your struggling keep a roof over your head, purchase food, a car, your ex is living the high life…because she’s getting TAX FREE MONEY, that you’re paying taxes on.

      Your going to have to dig deep inside you to combat the loneliness, the loss of a loved one, your child is basically being held hostage, someone you once loved is now your sworn enemy and will use every trick and manipulation to hurt you including using your child as a pawn.

      The lawyers and the judges are all in on the scam, they are experts at lying, cheating, and extracting as much money, hope, and tears as they possibly can. It takes a certain kind of person to Practice Family Court law, heartless cruel and cunning they make lucifer the devil proud as they relish in watching you squirm under their satanic grip.

      Becareful….because your ex can easily lie and say you’ve threatened her and guess what, your not going to see your child for the next two years, because the judge was too busy to give you a court date…but if your ex needs a court date your back in court in weeks.

      Finally your child grows up and they don’t want to see you, your broke, you have a HUGE WHOLE IN YOUR HEART in a place that was once love for your child, now a stranger to them, all the hard work, suffering and pain to pay the child support, medical expenses mean nothing to your child as they were told by your ex’s family and friends that your a horrible man a “Dead Beat Dad”

      You start over and meet a good woman and have a child, the court doesn’t care about your infant child, they want the money to pay your adult child thats now enrolled in college, oh guess what, your going to need to pay for their college…sorry your newborn needs that money desperately but too bad, the state decides that you need to pay more to your ex…

      This is my story…going on 20 years in the family court system.

      May GOD GIVE YOU STRENGTH and have mercy on your soul.

  3. Original divorce and support order was in New Jersey. I moved to New York and she moved to Vermont with daughter. Neither of us lived in NJ 6 months prior to the divorce.

    I paid child support through NY and money sent to Vermont child support.

    I got remarried and moved to Maine, Maine then took the order and my daughter turned 18 and the order was then terminated.

    Ten months go by and I get letter (Relief from Judgement) stating Maine court made mistake and I now I must pay until daughter is 23 while she’s in college and abide by New Jersey law in relation to enforcing order. I have not seen my daughter since she was 15.

    I hired a lawyer here in Maine and filed motions to object, etc. I had 1 court session over the phone, with my lawyer, not an actual trial, whether the court would consider dropping the case, the court was not in my town but 4 hours away in the town I lived in 2 years prior, the judge laughed at me and said I should be happy paying my exwife. That cost me 1 year and 6,000 dollars. My exwife broke the court order 100’s of times over the last 20 years, never in all 3 states was she ever reprimanded.

    My exwife works directly as a paralegal for the Attorney General in Vermont, she has a team of lawyers to work with her at all times.

    Now I am waiting for a letter saying I have to pay for college and pay child support which would wipe us out financially…and I have a young son under 7 years old.

  4. I have a problem I release lost my job the mother of my children put me out. While the corona was at a high rate. Now she is trying to file for full custody and I just got a security job and I been working a lot my off days are on Thursday and Friday and I go over to her house to watch my kids while she go to work. I buy my kids clothes and diaper,milk, etc. I am working on get my apartment so I can get my two kids more. I want joint custody.

  5. I am father of a minor child my ex girl friend caused several issues and I was forced to move. She is refusing to let me have contact and visits with him because of the new guy she will not take DNA test and i have been told she is moving to UK with new boyfriend. I don’t have the financial means to hire a Florida attorney and was wondering if you can help

  6. I have a question it’s my first baby I have a daughter she will be 3 this year but my babys momma is taking me to court for custody and I just want my rights as a dad and father and I want to be in her life to watch her grow up and to have those young memerys but any way she’s using a back ground charge that I got when I was a juvenile and it’s a sex charge indecency with a child but like I said I was a juvenile I had to take counseling witch I finished when I turned 18

  7. Gerardo Plascencia

    I am from San Diego California. I had a one night stand with a girl here. She became pregnant had the baby, and refused to take a dna test the day of the child’s birth. She told me she was embarrassed to do that infront of her family. So then I insisted later on with taking the dna test and she would tell me yes but then never come through with it. We began to Co-parent for the first month of the baby’s life while still trying to get the dna test done. She then told me she was going to visit her mom in Kentucky and ended up staying to live there. For the first two years I would send her stuff for the child while still trying to solve the issue of getting a dna test done. I would only face time the child here and there as she would make it impossible to set any type of schedule with me on when I could see him virtually or physically much less get her to do the dna test. Before he turned three I tried to do things legally in the state of California. Just so that at the end the judge would tell me that the state of California no longer had jurisdiction over the child anymore. She’s tried putting child support on me but then canceled the order once she found out they required genetic testing for that. SoThen I tried requesting legal dna testing online as a lawyer advised me too. Using usapaternity.com which all was needed was her to take the child to the clinic nearest her, and she didn’t. She disappeared had no idea where she lived, no phone numbers and I was blocked from all of her social media. Now she has recently re-appeared saying she will agree and follow through to doing a dna test the child will now turn 5 this year in June. I don’t believe her but it hurts me to know that I might have a child and he is being raised with out me. I have not had contact with him for the last three years. I don’t know how to approach this situation no more it has been emotionally and financially draining. I need help!

    1. Well, if she is living in Kentucky with the child, you need to file for paternity there. there are a few ways to approach this. The most efficient means of doing so, would be to file a petition for declaration of parentage where you tell the court that you believe that you are the father of a child and that a DNA test is needed and that you want parenting time.
      If you signed any documents in the hospital, possibly a “Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity” (NOT a birth certificate), you may have already legally established yourself as the biological and natural father of the child. So you are aware, when this happens, even if you find out through DNA that you are NOT the father, the courts might STILL treat you that way because there is typically a very limited time-frame to refute those actions.

      Now, when you have this petition for paternity filed, she will need to be served. Your attorney will take all the information you can provide and call up a private investigator who will run skip traces with whatever information you give them and use that to locate her.

      Get a hold of an experienced child custody lawyer where she is living and get it started – there’s a lot of years left to spend wit your child!

      1. Gerardo Plascencia

        From what I recall, I did not sign an AOP form but I did fill out the birth certificate the child does have my last name as well as hers. From what I have understood I signed a declaration of paternity form at the hospital.

        Would I have to go physically to kentucky to start the case? Is there a way I can petition from California ?

  8. My son and his kids mother have lived together for 6-7 years. She just up and left one day taking the kids and left the state. We have tried through social networks, emails, phones and even going to her moms house to get in contact with her and she has my son, me and my husband and everyone in our family blocked. Can she legally do this? We have not seen or heard from them for 4 months!

    1. If there is no court order alleging paternity and ordering parenting time she can move. In some states, this could be called parental kidnapping, but it sounds more like a case where he needs to file for paternity immediately and then also file an emergency motion for parenting time. He needs to hire a private investigator to run some skip traces to locate her. This shouldn’t cost more than $100 or so, not a big deal.
      He also needs to hire a child custody attorney that can file the correct petitions and help the investigator locate her. Get started immediately, 4-months is already too long.

    1. Give us a call, we can help! Father’s have equal rights to mothers, and the vast majority of judges agree (also, its now explicitly spelled out that way in the law in almost every single state!)

  9. Christopher tolbert

    I’m trying to leave with my daughter please let me know how I can do this without involving the police.

  10. I have recently filed for my parental rights and shared parenting In the state of Ohio. I have been in my daughter’s life since birth never married to or lived with her mother. I have kept my daughter every Wednesday from about 4pm or 6pm whenever her mom wanted me to pick her up until about 6 on Friday. Then I would pick her up anywhere between 11am to 5pm on on Saturday usually unless her mother had other plans. Then drop her off on Sunday between 3pm and 6pm just depends on what was going on. After I filed for parental rights everything changed all of the sudden my daughter didn’t want to come to my house and was crying and scared to come or she had plans with her mom’s parents or her god mother. Now that I have my parental rights her mother wants to tell me that my fiance and my sister can’t pick her up from school which by the way my fiance dropped her off every morning last year. She constantly text me even though I asked her not to text me since I just started a new job. I am just looking for some sort of help. My daughter is 6 will be 7 this month. My mother and fiance changed the schedules at work to be able to pick my daughter up early but her mother won’t allow my fiance and sister to pick her up and on my days she schedule my daughter in tap jazz and cheer leading. Which are 25 to 30 minutes away so my daughter doesn’t get home until 8:40 8:45 at night. Idk what to do anymore and saying ok to everything has gotten me no where. Please give me some sort of advice.

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