Last Updated on November 23, 2022 @ 9:00 am

Learn How to Get Your Father’s Rights!

Father’s rights come up in a variety of situations, whether you are divorcing/divorced or were never married, you have the right to be involved in your child’s life. The most important first step is knowing what your father’s right’s are and how to fight for them. Hiring an attorney skilled in Father’s Rights is of utmost importance, but if you don’t approach the situation in the correct way, you very likely could be destroying your chances even with a father’s rights attorney on your side.

The main issues that you, as a father, will be presented with are: Child Custody (also called Allocation of Parental Responsibility), Child Visitation (also called Parenting Time), and Child Support. Knowing how they work together is essential to knowing how to obtain your father’s rights the correct way.

Child Custody Rights for Fathers

Gone are the days where mom always wins custody of the kids—courts are now (finally) beginning to turn the corner and realize that a good parent does not always need to be the mom. With most of the workforce now being comprised of both men and women, it is no longer the case that a stay at home mom is needed to properly rear a child, and the courts have come out of the dark ages and realized this too, granting custody to men all the time.

In fact, almost every single state has now at least partially rewritten their laws to explicitly state that both parents (fathers and mothers) have equal rights to decision making and parenting time with their children. In many states, the term “custody” primarily refers to ‘decision making’ for the child. This would involve things like what school a child is going to attend, what extracurricular activities / sports a child may participate, and healthcare decisions. This allocation of parental responsibility as it is called in some states decides which parent should have the primary decision making ability for these things. The newly written statutes and laws in most states have now changed to state that both parents should have equal rights to this now, so long as both parents have shown they are fit and willing and have track record of doing these things.

Fathers also have the same right to physical custody (called “parenting time” in many states now) as a mother does, and the case needs to be made to the court properly to show that your proposed parenting schedule is in the “best interests of the child.” This is the main threshold that most states require a showing of in order to award physical custody of a child to a parent. This means having a stable, clean home environment and avoiding the pitfalls that have destroyed many men’s custody battles.

Child Visitation Rights and Parenting Time for Fathers

Visitation, also known as parenting time, is time when your kids spend time with the non-custodial parent (the parent that is not the every-day parent). Fathers can pursue this right and ask for the court to make visitation as little or as much as possible if the battle for physical custody has been lost. Unless there is some type of physical endangerment to the child, courts will allow “liberal visitation rights” in most states, because they realize that a father’s involvement in their children’s lives are important to their overall growth. Showing that you have proper sleeping arrangements, a clean home, and free time to spend with your kids is essential to making the argument for your rights to visitation and an equal amount of parenting time.

The courts have come around to realizing that fact that parenting time with both parents is essential for children and that a case should start from the position that each parent should have equal parenting time with their child. From that initial standpoint, the court will make an assessment as to what factors mean the most in determining whether equal parenting time makes sense and is good for the children or whether one parent should have more parenting time with the children over the other parent. This means that involvement in your child’s life will be looked at in extreme detail: do you participate in their school activities, attend their doctors appointments, and have a relationship with any of your child’s friends parents? These are all essential and will be discussed with the judge when the time comes for a hearing or trial on parenting time. Get this in order NOW.

Child Support Rights as a Father

Child support is ordinarily paid to the parent that has the majority of the parenting time with a child.  If this is a father, then the mother must pay child support since the kids are primarily living with dad. Many people think that fathers do not get the right to ask for child support, but this is not true. If the kids live with you, you should be getting money from the mother of those children because that money is used to support the kids – whether it be to pay part of the rent/mortgage, utilities, or put food on the table. And something that needs to be made clear to both parents about child support – the parent paying does NOT get to decide what it is used for and the parent receiving support does NOT need to itemize how that money was spent.

If you are the father and you are not the parent with majority parenting time, than you will likely be ordered to pay child support based on either a percentage of your income, a formula that uses both parents incomes combined with the percentage of overnights with the child (called “income shares”), or based on the needs of the child. This varies from state to state, so a knowledgeable, local child support attorney must be consulted to understand these intricacies (and these formulas can be extremely confusing, requiring lawyers to use special software to handle the calculations). Many fathers do not realize that they can fight to lower the amount of support they pay or that they can fight some back child support that is owed (called “arrears” or “retroactive support”), possibly saving them thousands of dollars!

How the Children Are Raised and Father’s Rights

Father’s, even if not the parent with the majority of parenting time, deserve to have a say in how their child is raised. This involves big things like the health care of the children and what school they will attend. It also involves other things, such as extracurricular activities or summer camp. If the mother will not let you be involved in your child’s life for these things, you must go to court and ask for the judge to force her to do so. This is where the fight over the allocation of parental responsibilities, or, decision making, comes into play. The “best interests of the child” will always be the way a judge decides which parent makes certain decision for a child, so make sure that you document everything that you do and your involvement. Hiring an attorney to draft a proper Parenting Agreement is important as it will lay out the necessary details of how the kids are raised and who has what responsibilities.

Don’t wait until it’s too late to fight for your rights as a father. Only an attorney skilled in Father’s Rights, as found here at FamilyLawRights.net, can provide you with the information and tools necessary to see to that your rights are secured. Don’t make the common mistakes that so many fathers make as outlined in this article and others linked within this article and your chances at a positive result will be greatly increased.  Get started today and fight for your father’s rights. Your family deserves it.

184 thoughts on “What Are My Rights As A Father?”

  1. My child hasn’t been born yet, but me and the mother can’t seem get along as she is dating a guy in prison that I don’t want near my child. She starts going on dates other men on the outside and I’m ok with that but I’m not ok with her hinding them or lying. She says it’s not my business who she dates or goes out with but I feel like because there going be around my child I should know. Am I wrong for that? She then tries saybits because I want her back. Well I do but I don’t. Like sure if you give me a chance I be there but if not then oh well. I care about her as well but personally it’s not like that. I just don’t trust some this guys she brings around.

    1. Very tough situation when your child is not yet born. Make sure that you have everything in order and ready to go when your child is born. You are lucky, you have at least some time to get things in order. That means do this:
      1. Make sure your job situation is stable
      2. Save money!
      3. Sell something, like your car, and get a much cheaper one with no payment and put that money in the bank
      4. Text message and ask what she needs for the baby.
      5. Make sure your place is 100% all set – this means make sure you have EVERYTHING at your place – car seat, crib, bottles, formula, newborn diapers, swaddles, monitor, etc. (this is why you save NOW and sell anything to get more money)
      6. Use some of that money you saved or worked extra jobs for or sold stuff to get a lawyer and be ready immediately when that child is born.
      7. Read some more tips on how to make the best possible fathers rights case possible! Get a free consultation!

  2. Naamon Robert Bird

    My wife keeps leaving to friends house taking our 9month old with her we have had a verbal agreement that she gets her 1 week and I get her the next. She only does this on the week I get her

    1. I suggest let her do what she want to do regarding herself and the baby If separated living apart. If separated but still cohabitating then it’s time for you to do what’s best for you. Moving out is your best option if you are not on the lease and can simply say “move back in with your parents”. Having a child is a huge responsibility and the sooner you can get yourself together The Better! I would communicate solely on 1. Email or 2. Text message for The first few weeks and Not pick Up to answer the phone this is for protecting yourself and Distancing yourself from your X And understanding that limited communication with child will happen. Accept a call from her after week 3 and see what she wants to say. Regardless of everything tell her that you think the best resolution is let the courts decide.

    2. If there is only a verbal agreement, you need to immediately file a complaint for divorce / petition for dissolution of marriage and at the same time, a petition for custody (also called a petition for allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time) to ask the court to award you parenting time with your baby.
      Being denied parenting time with your child is wrong and the courts will see that her actions are not in the best interests of your child.
      In your complaint/petition, you want to make sure that you describe the amount of time that you normally have with your child (alternating weeks) but that she denies you that time once in a while. The point of doing this is to show the court that you do have significant parenting time with your child and that the mother acts in a vindictive way at times that is likely damaging to your child’s emotional growth.
      To win a custody case, you are going to need to show that you are either equal or the primary caretaker of your child. You must be present at doctors appointments, know who the doctors are, pick up and dropoff at daycare (if being used), and be able to answer any questions regarding bedtime, bath, nap times, how much the child eats throughout the day, etc.
      A case like yours is borderline very contested – because of the verbal agreement, it sounds like the mother might be on-board with a settlement that gives you each 50/50 parenting time – but these cases can go off the rails very easily. Get an experienced divorce lawyer and organize everything in your life ASAP.

    3. I have two kids by my baby mother I can’t go c my kids nore the grandmother wonts me around my kids I love my kids I won’t my kids to b in a family life not none me as a farther I won’t my farther rights it’s been go in on too long by kids barely no me

  3. Belinda Castaneda

    My son has a son with his ex girlfriend and gets child support deducted from his paycheck. Here lately his ex got married to another women and decided to take my son off child support and not allow my son to see my grandson. What should we do?

  4. Asking for my brother- him and his baby momma separated and she’s lazy doesn’t work and just wants to have fun she leaves the kids with her mom all the time to go out. She doesn’t have money. My brother is a barber so his job ain’t steady right now. He’s barely making it but he’s the best dad and everyone can back that up. And everyone can back up what a bad mom snd lousy person That she is. Anyways she put him on child support and he told her you know along with everyone I’m a good dad you just want money. So she took him off and she always threatens to put him back on or to take full custody. Come income tax she claims all the kids and doesn’t give the dad a dime. How can you fight and prove that the kids are better off with dad not mom. And for him to be able to claim income tax.

  5. hey I file for child support three months ago and I file for visitations two months ago but she recently put a restraining order on me what can I do

  6. christopher waigwa

    thats a great article….in my case,we separated because i was not earning enough,i paid the maid put food on the table,pay electricity bills,at times i even washed and cooked for her but because i couldnt pay th rent,her mother and her sister all ganged up on me. her sister did things intentionally to make me angry and my baby mama wouldnt say anything,so we was quarelling everyday just because very little issues involving money…we separated,she had to take me to the police to make it serious. now i cant get her to make let me see my daughter. not even when i send the little money i can get. what can i do bout this?

    1. First of all, if money was the main issues, then a maid would be something NOT be in the picture, lol (clean your own mess), there are many types of women out here today, some (lucky me) would do 50/50 on bills as along as your pulling your weight, including cooking and cleaning which it should! It’s sad to be with out utilities but with out a home that changes things, (we almost lost our home 5 time, no joke), One thing that will never change and is old as time is that fact that women look to men for security (rather they admit it or not)! If she had to go to the police, she may have had a hidden agenda or your a bad seed for her! Either way you must always be doing better! Get yourself together all the way first, the good women will see and follow. Take care of yourself “learn” from the past and use it to guide you! Promise, you put the work in, rewards will follow!

  7. This is great info. Thank you. My fiancé has a son with another woman before we met. He spoke with the County Lawyer who helps people with the paperwork mediation and she had advised him that the particular judge who handles child custody never grants custody 50/50. Always favors the mom. Is this legal? Is there a way to fight this? Or is the lawyer just making false accusations? This is in Santa Barbara County, CA.

    1. Most of the time, judges are supposed to approach a case with the view of 50/50 parenting time (if it can be reasonably facilitated) and shared decision making abilities (commonly called joint custody).
      Every judge takes their own personal thoughts on the facts of a case a little differently and the law is gray – no real set rule on child custody type matters.
      So, is it legal? Yes. Will the judge come out and say “i favor the mom all the time so you are out of luck”? No, absolutely not. So it is on your son to prove to the court, with evidence (that is witnesses testimony like a school teacher, etc., or written documentation), that he should have 50/50 parenting time and shared decision making abilities (joint custody).

  8. My partner and I have raised his, now 19 year old, son together for the last 11 years. He has been entiredly in our care since 2011 and has lived with us 6 hours away from his biological mother since 2013. Since 2013 she has not contributed to raising him in any way. The only custody order on file is a standing order from 2004 which gave his biological mom full custody.

    We are unclear how long or how much child support she collected while he was in our care but my partner now owes over $10,000 in back child support – much of which was collected when we were raising him. Is there any way to review this retroactively? It would be great if she were ordered to pay some amount of support for the time she did not contribute, but at very least, is there anything we can do to not continue paying back money she collected when he was in our care? He has school records and medical records all in our names and here in our hometown from the last 8+ years. How do we address these issues?

    Thanks so much for any advice!

    1. We live in Georgia. We had this same problem with my husband’s ex partner. We ended up going to court. After providing our evidence, the judge wiped the months we had the child off of the total amount my husband owed.

  9. So, my boyfriend is not on child support but he pays his baby mother bills lets her use his car when she needs or wants to. She tries to get him to replace money he didnt spend like food stamps. she has a job but it doesnt pay well. so instead of making her do better he just pays and he himself is struggling and he has a decent job. what can he do?

    1. The judge will still make him pay child support no matter what, and most likely add the back child support he owes the mother.. she’s working and caring for their child exclusively. If she’s using his car anything for their kid it’s just his obligation for their kid. You can’t fight and remove what he owes her for Caring for their kid 100%.
      Yes the only thing you can do is leave him. His problem will become yours as well. Financially too.. unless he fixes that. Hope this answers your questions.

  10. My daughters mom wont let me take my daughter anywhere unless she is there she says i have no say so in my daughters life an we are about to have a boy an she wont even let me name our son i am the one that is working she isnt i give her money every paycheck i do what im suppose to do how do i go about this

  11. My boyfriend has a child from a previous relationship, and the mother of his child put him on child support. She claimed that he stopped taking care of the child August of 2019 but he has evidence that he was taking care of the child at that time she said he wasn’t up until today. On the child support it asked her to list times he sent her money and she only listed 3, which he has proof that it was way more than that. He has never misses a beat, she gets mad at the fact that he actually orders the stuff ( clothes, diapers, shoes, and etc ) instead of sending actual money. At first he was buying the things and sending money too, but he stopped sending the money unless it’s something he can’t buy and have it shipped. It’s always about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY to her. If he doesn’t do something she doesn’t agrees with she blocks him for months. So that leaves him without seeing the child. She moved to another state so she complains about him not being physically there for the child , but when she stayed in the same state as him he kept his daughter all the time, so of course it’s going to be different since she moved. During multiple of times of us suppose to be getting the baby so he can be in her life too and give the mother a break, she cancels on us and comes up with excuses as why he can’t get her. She did this 3 times, we were recently suppose to get her for two months so the mother can get back on her feet since she hasn’t been working and she made up an excuse a coupe days before we were suppose to go get her. She makes it hard on him he hasn’t seen his child in a year, but he still makes sure she isn’t needing for anything. Can someone give us some advice, because she makes it seem like he’s a dead beat when he’s NOT

    1. A father has rights that are not behind heard the right way just beacuse hes a guy we are in 2020 STOP USING YOUR CHILD FOR YOUR OWN CONVINIENTS My husband has a child never meet before. This lady needs sycological help she left him sleeping outside for 3 days and thats was it for him to move forward she even called the cops for no reason went the cops arrived to the house checked hes back ground they didnt find anything and my husband was calm so the cops told her that they cant retained him for no reason that she moved him in she has let him stay in the house but my husband deside to move out to hes dads and move forward he found text mesages with guys so it was it. This lady was pregnant so he basacly told her he wasnt gling back with her but that he was goi g to be there for her and the baby but she blocke him changes address and took away hes rights as a father it was her way using this little girl to get away of everithing taking away the privilige of this girl having the best daddy ever. He finds her phone text her beg her and she blockes him move everytime. I have 3 kids on my own and hes beging the best dad for them i just see this unfaired now she is five years old we hired a attorney already pay him full and years has pass that we hired this attorney now soposably there will be a hiring on nov 2020. We went to hes dads house and we staid in the car hoping to see her from far away and we did my husband was so happy but we didnt walk to the house cause hes dad is retired from the army and hes said all the time he will murder my husband we were scared to talk to him. My husband recently found her phone number and he text her we have all saved in a folder he text her and told her that peacefully he wanted to solved this situation and told her that if she didnt think he had rights to see hes daughter already that he is paying childsupport so high and is not fair that she havent meet her We just waned peace and like adults solved this situation for this poor little girl to now that she has a daddy that loved her and we cant wait to meet her and we are waiting for her with open arms. I Just beg to any attorneys any judges to do the right thing and stop this womens saying comiting falses acusations to get away with what they want violating childs rights guys rights.

    1. I have a 2 month old little girl and her mom travels back and forth from 1 place where there’s mold and roof failing in and 2 a apartment in vicksburg and want let me see my kid nor know about her I need help

  12. hello.

    i and my ex have a five year old son, and he is living with his mother. while we were together i was not working but could try to help where i can. i got a job a year ago and i got married. now she doesn’t want my child to visit me. we tried to talk sense to her (with my wife) but she doesn’t want to. i am now willing to take full responsibility as a father.
    what should i do.

    1. My son has a daughter he pays child support young lady never let him see the child all of a sudden the daughters mother called him and tells him to come get the child she is tired she don’t want to deal with it anymore so he goes and get his daughter to get the ball rolling what does he need to do so that she can’t just come get her when she get reafy

  13. Hello my fiance has been having a very hard time trying to talk and see his daughter… The mother refuses to allow him any type of communication with the child… when he does try to call his daughter, the mother either doesn’t answer or she immediately starts bad mouthing him and talking down to him…she has been bad mouthing him to the child and tells him that the child hates him…she is not a good person…He also has been paying child support for almost 13 years…the child is now 14.. anyways he has never been behind on any of his payments and all payments are always on time and completely up to date…His child support case is here in Florida and has been since the beginning….The mother is not only alienating the father but the mother has also moved with the child to another state and forbids the father to know anything about the child, ie: school, housing….She is very vendictive and absolutely adamant about making him suffer by doing anything and everything she can to torment him and make his life miserable… Anyways, the child has been through a lot living with her mother, things that no child should ever have to go through…so the mother took the child and moved to another state….and to be spiteful she had a child support case opened up against the father in the state she is living in now even though for almost 13 years she has been and she still is currently receiving child support from him here in Florida…Now he has two child support cases against him in two different states for the same child…What I am wondering is how is it that she put a new child support case on him in another state if he is already paying child support in Florida?? And what can he do to have the new child support case against him closed?? He should not have to pay triple the payments of child support in two different states especially since the case in Florida is still open and very much active…and the case in the state where the mother and child are should never have been opened….she stated that she was going to make his life miserable in every way possible because he will not go back to her.. what can he do to get communication back with his child??Is the recent child support case against him that she opened in Iowa fraudulent due to him already on child support here in Florida?? And how would he go about filing the necessary documents to order his ex to move back to Florida with the child because he believes that the child is in danger and not in stable living conditions…His concerns are very valid due to a few very traumatic situations that his daughter was involved in while in the care of the mother and the many men that the mother was involved with….the child suffered molestation and sexual assault….what are the steps that he can take when going through the courts to ensure that his daughter will be back in his life and without the constant anguish of wondering how and if she is ok??

    1. It sounds like he may need to have 2-attorneys, actually. He needs attorneys in the states where any case is filed and eh absolutely needs to file a petition for rule to show cause (a motion for contempt) for the denial of communication with his child.
      For the child support issue, double check and make sure he is actually paying on both. Many times it appears that way, but it is really just another state enforcing the child support order (this is typical for living in different states).
      Forcing her to move back is almost certainly not a possibility – typically, if a parent removes a child (also called “relocation”), that needs to happen right when the child is taken away – this sounds like it has been years.
      Now, if there is a serious endangerment in living situation, that is different – and perhaps a motion for residential custody needs to be filed with the court. This is not going to be quick, easy, or cheap – so be prepared. there are so many issues here that, from what it sounds like, have not been managed in years, that there will be a terrible mess to sort out and correct. But that does NOT mean to give up hope or to not start and fight for the father’s rights taht he deserves. And he should get started immediately. Delaying only causes the court to wonder if the allegations are actually as serious as claimed – because if it really is so serious, why wait?

      Get started immediately!

  14. My ex moved from Winnipeg to live with me in Ontario we did fertility for a year and finally got pregnant while she was 2 months pregnant she left to go back to Winnipeg while I was at work I’m now in court in Winnipeg fighting for my rights only way I can see my daughter is for me to fly to Winnipeg all the time she will not let my daughter come to Ontario my famiky has not met my daughter Do I have a solid case?? All I want is to be part of my daughters life I never miss child support payments I always give extra I’m never rude or mean I get 3 video chats a week that I never miss I always ask for more and get denied why is this happening? Will the courts and judge help me?

  15. My baby mama that we have been living together for 4yrs took my daughter away for 4months now.don’t no their were about we only take on phone asking me to send money that baby needs provisions which she don’t lack anything in my house pls I need that baby back she’s all I have now

  16. I found out I had a son when he was 16 I have started to make a relationship with him. The mother has now asked if I can be put in the birth certificate. Would this mean she is able to claim and money from me for maintenance from his younger days

    1. Depending on the state you live in, the issue you are referring to is called “retroactive child support.” Here’s how it works in most states:

      When you have a child with someone, the court wants to know why you didn’t pay child support / support the child financially in the past. You will need to show a handful of things, in most states, to win a case against having to pay child support.

      1. What prior knowledge did you have regarding the child’s birth (did you know you had a child born back the or was it definitely hidden from you?).

      2. If you knew you had a child, what was your prior willingness or refusal to offer to help raise and/or support the child?

      3. Did the mother take any steps or do anything to try and find you and notify you of the child being born / her being pregnant? For example, have you always had the same phone number, email address, facebook account? Do you have mutual friends or the same job for a long period of time? The point here is she needs to prove that she was trying to locate you but was unable to do so. So it is on you to provide as much info as possible that you could have been found and notified of the child’s birth easily – like her knowing where you live (haven’t moved in 20-years), have mutual friends, knows where your parents live, etc. Proof that she could have found you and requested child support, but she chose not to do so. (This is one of the biggest elements).

      4. The reasons the mother did not file the action earlier. (Again, relates back to #3 above, if she could have found you but didn’t do so and didn’t ask for child support, she shouldn’t be allowed to do so now for the years she denied telling you about having a child).

      5. How much would you, as the father, be prejudiced by the mother’s delay in bringing the action. (This kind of speaks for itself and in a way, is a summary of the elements above – if you had no idea you had a child, and the mother could have found you but didn’t do so, it would be unfair to place a judgement of likely tens of thousands of dollars against you for child support owed for the last 16-years).
      Take a look at the facts surrounding your case and see what fits with these elements here. It sounds to me like there should not be a case for retroactive child support but she may have the ability to get child support for the very short time going forward until the child becomes an adult.

      Best of luck in building your relationship. Contact our team of expert child custody and child support professionals for help in securing your rights through a court-ordered parenting plan (called a Custody Judgment; Allocation of Parental Responsibilities; Parenting Plan; – depending on your state).

      1. Hey Mr. Baker, I was just given a child support packet in the mail. Stating the mother of my child is wanting child support for my son. That I haven’t seen since he was 2. He is turning 11 this year and I been wanting him in my life for soo long. At first I tried to settle things with his mother but she moved on and had a family. I couldn’t find her and people we knew mutually would not help. I have proof at the time that she deliberately would tell she didn’t want me around. I finally have a chance to have my son in my life and I don’t want to mess it up. Any advice would help. I live in Long Beach, Ca if that helps. Thank you for your time.

      2. My son has a child with with a girl that he was never in a relationship with, i did not know this girl and my son certainly didn’t know he got her pregnant. About 3 weeks after my grandson was born this girl got ahold of me thru Facebook messenger and she was rather rude stating that my son had a child and that no one from my son’s family was doing anything to help, at that point i was in shock, i was 44 and not ready to be a grandparent yet, long story short, i became really involved with my grandson as did my son, the mother got her 2nd dui while pregnant with my grandson so she gets another one and does some jail time so my son is granted custody, then my son violates his probation and is sent to prison so i get emergency guardianship, i have my grandson for the first 15 months of his life, which i enjoyed every second. A judge orders my grandson to go to his mother and tells her to keep letting me see my grandson which she didn’t do, kept him from me after i had him everyday for 15 months, that destroyed me and i have no contact with her still today. Now some years later she’s (BM) is still drinking and driving but drives with her kids in the car. My son is out of prison and doing great and wants more time with his son. BM is married now and has a total of 5 kids, my grandson was the third child. My son now has a girlfriend and BM is not happy about it, she doesn’t know my son’s gf and has no desire to do so, BM said my son will not be seeing his son anymore bc she doesn’t want any other girls around her son, this does not seem fair to me, my son pays child support and has rights but the BM thinks she’s the judge and jury and what she says goes. This girl has extorted money from me, my parents and my son’s grandma, my son’s grandma has bought the BM a car and paid for it to be fixed a few different times, we’ve walked on egg shells because of this girl, she’s rude, hateful, lazy and unfit, not to mention an alcoholic and is addicted to marijuana and smokes cigarettes heavily. My son works, doesn’t do any drugs or use tobacco and doesn’t drink alcohol. My grandson is 6 years old now and wants to live with his father or myself he has said this on numerous occasions and cries when he’s taken to his mom’s. Idk there’s so much i can go on and on, this Baby Mom shouldn’t have any of her children, her oldest daughter which is 12 and the one cleaning the house, giving her younger siblings baths, cooking dinner, and takes care of pets while the mom is laying in bed dictating. This is no life for any of these children. My question is what would be in the best interest of my grandson and what options does my son have?

        1. It certainly sounds like the mother is not a fit parent to have custody of this child. Your son, and possibly, you, need to file a petition for custody in court. You may need to file a petition for grandparent visitation or guardianship (depending on the state).
          It would be normal for the court to appoint, or for you to request, a guardian ad litem / child representative be appointed to the case to investigate everyone’s homes and spend time with the child to determine what is best for this child.
          You are correct in that the proper analysis is “best interests of the child” when making a determination regarding custody.
          In this case, the primary factors to look at (and to spend time investigating and organizing) would be the following:

          1. The child’s wishes;
          2. History of abuse of either parent/caretaker;
          3. Home life of each parent/party involved (bed for kids, own room, etc.);
          4. Ability of the parents/guardians to co-parent or cooperate regarding decision making;
          5. The mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
          6. The needs of the child;
          7. Any other relevant factor.

          Take these elements, and apply the facts of your case (for ALL parties, both good and bad) and see how things look. You will then need concrete facts and evidence to back it up. Evidence is NOT “I know she’s bad”, evidence is “here is a picture of the car that she was driving when she was drunk and crashed. Look at the damage to the bumper and the missing wheel.”

          This type of case requires an experienced child custody attorney if you want a chance to win – speak with a professional right away!

  17. A mother of a 1-2 year old just told my fiancé via social media that he is the father and she wants child support. He remembers years ago they had a one night thing. He doesn’t believe he’s the father but obviously paternity needs to be established. If he is the father he is upset she kept this baby from him for this long. We are having a baby in a few weeks so timing is stressful. What rights does he have and what steps should we take considering he wouldn’t be on the birth certificate she has already applied for child support and he got a voicemail from a case worker.

  18. Question…… Can my ex keep me from my so on my court ordered weekend for not submitting to a store bought drug test just bc she thinks I’m doing drugs…. Not court ordered!! But told me I dnt get him unless I do it

    1. Please my son is my world and I’m so tired of her keeping my son from me on her “she heard” accusations it’s not fair to him…. And no I’m not on drugs. Any info on what I can do….. Dose she have this rite todo this…….. What do I do

  19. My son turned 16 in November. His Mom disappeared and I just recently found where she is living. I haven’t seen my son since birth. He seems to have been recognized by her partner, with his last name. Do I still have rights? How can I go about proving my case?

      1. Pick and go get her? Do you mean physically get her and take her from the to her parents home to stay with you? This is not advised without a court order that specifically allows for this. Always proceed through the courts, with extremely rare exception, or you risk having rights denied, and possibly even criminal charges being pursued against you.
        Please contact our team of knowledgeable child custody professionals before doing anything!

  20. Had a one night stand few years ago and ended up getting this girl pregnant. Once she found out who the daddy was I moved back to my original state where I was from long story had dna test and positive results. Instead of her going to the court she finds family memebers I haven’t seen nor talked to in years looking for me. When I’m already paying child support. So why don’t she just use the courts instead of hitting up my family how can I get this to stop. Cause must of my family don’t know what’s going on.

    1. If there is an open child support / custody case somewhere, most of the judges that handle that will tell you that they cannot control other people not a party to the case. Now if this is a matter of her trying to make you look bad, embarrass you, or something like that, the courts can tell her to stop that behavior. But many times, unless she is harassing someone and that person (your family members) state they are being harassed by her, the court won’t do much because the person that is being targeted (family members) are the ones to make a complaint – not you.

      Find out why she is contacting them and what the end goal is for this behavior and then you will know how to proceed.

  21. I just wanna know if is possible for a mother to tell a father who the child can see cuz my baby moms dont want me to bring my daughter around my girl and she makes my step kid(her son) tell her or call her wen my girl is around help please

    1. It depends what the court orders state.

      There are 2-issues here; dealing with each of you:

      1. Mom is interrogating child as to activities/people when you have visitation / parenting time; and
      2. Whether you can bring your child around certain people.

      #1. Mom should absolutely not be asking questions and interrogating your child. This is wrong and judges can’t stand it when parents put their kid in the middle of fights or disagreements.

      #2. Judge also do not like when parents try to dictate the other parents life once they have split up. This means that her trying to say you can’t have a new significant other is wrong. However, in some instances, judges agree with this. If there is a court order in place that states that you should not bring a child around a new significant other for a certain amount of time, or that there should be no overnight guests while daughter is with you, those are all valid. Also, the courts main worry is that a situation of a “revolving door” of new girlfriends being constantly introduced to a child every few months. Judges do not want to find out that, for example, dad has had 3-new girlfriends spend the night with him while the child was in the house over a 6-month, or 1-year time period there’s no rule, I’m just saying, for example).

      These issues need much more detail, feel free to reach out and speak with an expert child custody lawyer and get some additional explanation as it applies once more information is given – hope we can help!

    2. My 8 month pregnant girlfriend hits me often I have a 7 yr old who ever time I bring to my house is made to feel unwelcome. I provide for all her children 24/7 without any help from their fathers, I want my child to know the difference.

    3. I find it sad thaa6 exs can’t just leave new partners out of the equation until the child is grown or they are married. What id you two don’t last? The child loses yet another person they had in their life. Stop being selfish only thinking of yourself and think about the mental damage you are doing to the children.

  22. The father of my grandson doesn’t want to communicate with my grandsons mom…appareny. he wants his new girlfriend to do all the communicating. My grandson was conceived out of a one night stand and the father threatened my daughter if she went for child support he would take the baby away. Since having the baby my daughter has asked for nothing. Out of the blue the fathers new girlfriend is doing thedictating and telling my daughter she has to do what she says. My daughter does not owe or have to communicate to the girlfriend right. If the father doesn’t want to communicate then that is his problem. My daughter suffers from bipolar and the night she conceived she was on was on a new medication and going through a lot. This guy and his girlfriend in item her over to a party and the girlfriend left and the baby was conceived. My daughter just wants to move forward and live a better life. What are her rights. The fathers girlfriend has a history of hitting her daughter until she bled, and partying. My daughter doesn’t wish for this lifestyle.

  23. I just want to know if it is legal 4 the mother of my child 2 deny turn away or give back gifts or things that belong to my child. She basically gets upset with me and as a result won’t allow our son too benefit from anything that comes from me. This is all things like food and clothing and definitely time. Just want to know if I can file child neglect charges?

    1. It doesn’t sound like neglect, unless the child is lacking in essentials and not being fed or clothed. But it certainly is a terrible thing for her to do being that you are just trying to provide for your child and she would rather turn that away just to spite you. It certainly does not show that she is doing what is “in the best interests of the child”, which is the standard for custody in virtually every state.
      Do you have a parenting plan in place and an acknowledgement/order of paternity declaring you as the natural and biological father of the child? A birth certificate does not count for this, so it should be done in court and have it entered properly by a judge.
      Give our team of expert custody lawyers a call and to go over what your father’s rights are and discuss how best you can obtain your rights as a father.

    2. Wishfulthinking

      This is interesting because my ex (father of my kids) refuses to let our kids bring gifts home that are from him and his side of the family. He makes them leave it at his house and if they try to bring it home he takes it from them. Ive brought this up in court and he denies it. Ive never once refused anything from him for them but thats because he’s never provided anything for our kids and if by chance they have clothing on from his house its 2 sizes too small. He’s the toy parent 2 weekends a month. Doesn’t call anytime at all when they are home with me, not even their birthdays. But when he does have them he is a good father. As far as being a dad he’s missing out. I wish they had a father who was a real daddy and not just the 2 weekends a month toy giver. They are ok without though because i give them that much more filling that void of an absent father and then some. It kills me reading about the men who want to be dads and are pushed away though the one with the ex not wanting her kid around a girlfriend is understandable. Its selfish of the father in my opinion. Be a dad instead of worrying about having a gf. This is where i think laws need chamge because is screws up a kids head. I was one product of divorce and dad not waiting to couple up. Still hate the step mom to this day and it’s been 28 yrs. Why couldn’t my dad just wait until i was 18 instead of putting me through the mental headache of another woman? Just my input. Kids know whats up and they understand more than we think especially if a parent cheats.

      1. Wow. It sounds like you have some issues. But either parent has the RIGHT to move on with their lives, that includes finding another partner to live and love. No matter what age the kids are. That shouldn’t even be an issue in the child’s head (and usually isn’t)and is usually put there by the other parent. It’s a form of Parental Alienation. It seems you have projected your mother’s feelings on the situation, onto your dad and stepmom. I hope you get therapy and be honest with yourself about both your parents situations when you were a child. It’s unfair and totally unreal to expect a human being to spend years alone, without a partner, just because they have had a child/children with someone else. It sounds like you have alot of soul searching to do and healing. Your dad had every right to find someone to love and that would love him back. Just as your mom did when they separated. I hope you heal and give your stepmom another chance. Her and your dad did nothing wrong after your parents separated.
        Cheating spouses have nothing to do with how they are as parents. At all. Your mother nor father should have put you in the middle. I’m sorry they did. But it’s unfair your stepmom was put in the middle as well.
        Best wishes.

  24. I’m glad that you said that know in days the custody doesn’t necessarily have to go to the mother. Fathers are able to get their children if the court sees it fit. My brother has 2 children and his currently getting divorced. We have a meeting with his attorney next week and he wants his defendant to fight for the children’s custody.

  25. Me and my fiance have been together for going on 4 yrs. She has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 4.5yrs old so i have been her “father” for almost her whole life. The biological father passed away when she was almost 1yrs old so ive been really the only father she knows. We have hit a really rough patch in our relationship and it may not be recoverable… (hopefully not true). But regardless of the blood we dont share she is my daughter and i am her father, is it possible for me to file for parental rights in california if we do have to split up? We have never been legally married and again the biological father has passed away.

  26. My son is 18 yeasrs all and she had a one time night stand with this woman she is older than hin fir almost 2 years and all her pregnancy she is be playing him,so she call him on Sunday saying that she was going to the hospital but now she doesn’t want to tell him if she had the baby yet or no its a way that he can have the parenting test and also if he go to the hospital wont get in trouble?

    1. Probably not the best idea to just show up at the hospital, that’s likely to not end well for him if the police show up. The right thing to do is to file a petition to establish a parent-child relationship, also called a petition for paternity. The judge can have them submit to a DNA test to show whether he is the father or not. If he is, the judge will likely grant some type of parenting time, however, for very young newborns, that time is usually pretty limited, especially if the baby is breastfeeding and not on formula.
      He probably should hire an attorney so that he can get the petition drafted correctly, have her served the right way, and make sure that his father’s rights are granted to him.

  27. My ex wendy Lee Copeland keeps breaking the court order and doesn’t care if I ever see my daughter again
    My son moved in with me 2 years ago because my son and his step dad got in a disagreement and I’m paying child support though FRO and I have court papers with seal to see my daughter one day though week and every other weekend I have Not seen my daughter in over 2years and there is more and more women keep withholding kids from their father what is the world coming to its sick

  28. I’ve tried everything and established the “steps” you laid out on your own. I have tried to do everything and anything to be involved in my child’s life. It is my STRONG opinion that this is a system designed more for $$$ than the bond between Father and Child in IL. I AM PRO FATHER’S RIGHTS REFORM and anyone that knows groups that challenge the current way it is evaluated, biased, the level of care given by “assigned” staff and “evaluations”. Please STAND UP!

    I’ve been told to give up by lawyers and there “is nothing I can DO” That’s Rubbish! There is always hope and when something doesn’t make logical sense… It needs reform (.Period).

    Love and Blessings to all your Children!

    1. You’re not alone. My soon to be ex wife left me while she was 8 months pregnant and has kept me from seeing my son as much as possible. She doesn’t work and lives with her mom, she’s told me she keeps me away for two reasons 1. She wants my life to be shit 2. She knows I’ll be a better parent and our son will want to live with me. I’ve tried and tried to make amends with her and every time things seem to be getting better between us and co parenting she turns around and continues to try to keep me away. I’ve talked to attorneys about me getting primary custody because I have a job I have my own apartment I’m stable, and she’s not. They all say I got no shot primarily because he’s 8 months old and he’s been living with her.

  29. Question…My friend is getting caught up on his back child support and the babies mother is threatening not letting him see his kid until he is all paid up on back child support. I have proof that he is just now starting to pay the back child support. What does he need to do in this situation? Can he legally see his kid if he is just now starting to pay back the back child support?

    1. Visitation and paying child support have nothing to do with one another. One parent could never pay a cent and be millions in arrears and still keep all the same visitation rights of another parent paying CS in full.

    2. If there is a court order of visitation whether or not non custodial parent is paying or up to date on child support cannot be denied visitation.

  30. I am the father of a 5 year old daughter that I was there for her birth in 2012. Her mother and went to school together and began dating once out of school. We are together anymore but have always been in contact and I’ve always been able to see and talk to our child. My daughter was moved away by the mother when she was 3 years old from Los Angeles to Las Vegas and when I was able I would go to Vegas and visit at times and even my mom with me. Then trying to better myself I moved to Idaho and returning to California in May 2018 but 1st going to Vegas to visit child and mother. This past June 2018 after calling to speak with daughter I was told know & that I can no-longer speak with anymore or see her again. The mother told me that I can no more be in and out of my child’s life. I have not stopped calling but I don’t get a answer now. My mother talks with her and she asks is my daddy there or is he coming when you visit. I need Father’s Visitation rights but don’t have much money. Please tell me what and how I can get help.

    1. You don’t need money, or a lawyer. Find as many examples of cases similar to yours what the person who won did right, what people did wrong, know your rights, and know the laws. All you have to do is read, take notes, and memorize. Find cases with the exact same thing as you want, memorize how they succeeded. ALWAYS show up to anything appointed by the court, never lie, and the absolute most important thing. NEVER lose your cool. NEVER say anything negative about the other parent, especially to your child. They will resent you for doing that when older. ALWAYS be willing to support the role of the other parent and the importance of them in your child’s life. NEVER again NEVER say anything negative about the other parent. Not even to yourself in the mirror. Remember you love the?? 🙂 No matter how you feel about something, remember this life is now about your child, it’s your obligation to always put the needs and best interests of that child, before you, your ex, or anyone else on the planet. YOU, brought her here, now you provide her with the loving and amazing father that she needs and deserves!

  31. my husbands has a custody set to where we get his 13 year old daughter in the summer and then the rest of the year she is with her mother. Her mother is pregnant and recently let the daughter go into a group home without the consent of my husband. We have an attorney and the attorney said he wants the contact info of the people she is living with. I just can’t understand how that is not violating the custody deal. he pays weekly child support and meets every requirement the court asks. We want her to live here but the daughter wants doesn’t want to live with the mother or us. She wants to act like an adult and has no rules up in ny it seems. We have rules down here and she doesn’t like that but I can’t see how that, the daughter can make that decision. She either lives with us or her mom not someone we don’t know. I’m very worried.

  32. My ex girlfriend waited until a week be for she went into labour to move in with her sister because she was mad,and had the baby with out letting me kno I find out the next day and her sister and the nurses won’t even let me hold the baby!!! So m telling the nurses take my blood I’m the father do a DNA test the ignore me and kick me out By then time I made it home I got a text saying I’m signing my rights over and there is nothing u can do about it

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    1. Umukoro blessing Deborah

      Please connect me I am really having trouble in my relationship and I am with a child he said I should go and I don’t have anywhere to go am so confused I cry day and night no one to care for me or to help me ? I am so helpless right now

  34. Hello,

    I am in the army and was stationed in Georgia when my ex wife decided to move back to Texas with our 6 month old daughter without my written consent. To try and keep the peace, I filed for divorce and agreed to sign the custody orders even though I never agreed for her to take my daughter out of state. It has been a year since our divorce papers were finalized and my ex wife has been difficult to work with. I got orders to go to the Washington DC area which is where I reside now. Our court order states that my ex wife is responsible to pay for transportation (plane, car, bus tickets, etc) of the child at the beginning of the visitation and I am responsible to pay for transportation at the end of the visitation. During this last summer, she brought my daughter to DC after much hesitation. After a month of having my daughter, I ran into some difficulty of finding daycare for her so her mother agreed to pick her up early and paid for the plane ticket. I went back to Texas for a week in early August which technically I was still supposed to have custody of my daughter (summer visitation ends beginning of Sept.) and asked if I could see my daughter while I was in town. She refused to even let me see her for a day. She has also refused to notify me of which school/daycare my daughter is attending even though I’ve asked numerous times. Our court order states that I am supposed to have my daughter for the Winter break this year however my ex wife is stating that the plane ticket is too expensive to purchase and will not be bringing my daughter to DC. I have paid her back for the plane ticket in the summer when she had to pick up my daughter early plus child support. Is there anything I can do legally? She refused visitation for a week in August, refused to let me know which school she’s attending and now refusing to bring my daughter for the winter break.

    Thanks in advance!

    Tom

  35. My boyfriend has a 4 yr son. The x will not let him see him at all. There now has been an incident where the x was abused by her current boyfriend and now we don’t know where his son is and she will not tell us. The holidays are approaching and he wants to just be able to see his son when he wants or do joint custody but she has never been willing. He is a great man and father and needs his son in his life. We are in Texas don’t have lots of money for an Attorney any ideas would be very helpful. I would love for Christmas for him just to be able to see his son.

  36. Hi,
    My ex just called me and she said she is pregnant more than 6 month. Now, I have a new girlfriend and we are happy together. My ex and I just spent 1 month together. My questions are, if she is right and the baby is mine:
    – How can I tell to my new girlfriend? She is so sensitive and somebody broke her heart. I don’t want to break her heart. I love her.
    – Is there any way to prove that my ex did this on purpose? Will the judge consider this fact? Because we had only one time sex and she gave me the condom.
    – Is there any way to have an attorney for free? Because I have financial problems now?

    Thank you.

  37. I’m trying to understand this child support thing. My boyfriend and his soon to be ex-wife has been separated for 4 years. Their children lives with him, to this date which is 11-25-2016 she have seen her kids a total of six times this year. They live in the same county and she works not five minutes from where the children lives. I registered the kids in school,I by myself bought all of their school supplies, my boyfriend and his sister bought the school clothes. The kids mother have not bought them anything for school or tried to see in if they need anything. When the school called her about her oldest son she gets mad at my boyfriend. She will not take the kids to the dr.and will not give him the medicaid card. What irritates me the most is she is getting food stamps for them and she put him on child support and they are hardly ever with her, they do not live with her.. I think that that is so unfair to him or to any other man.

    1. Go to the court house and file for termination of child support. Prove that the children live with their father. School records etc. Photos documents etc that prove undoubtedly the children are there. Texts from her anything. Of the judge is satisfied with the proof he will cancel the child support, name him primary custodial parent and then put an order on her to pay. As well as afterwards take those documents from court after the order from the judge and give them to dss and they will cancel all medicade and food stamps on behalf of the children. Then the father can apply for medicade

    2. Hy
      I and my ex girlfriend we have a child now with 1 month but my ex says she won’t allow me to see my baby son , she says I must forget about him and she is planning on taking my son to another place to her grandmother next month , I mean like the baby is so small to live without his mother. She says I must forget about the baby but I really want to be part of my son’s life so sir what must I do so that I can be able see my son?

  38. I have a question my wife and I are arguing and today she disappeared with our baby girl and I called her and she said she was at her moms and it looks like she’s spending the night and who know how much longer, she hung up. What can I do to see my baby girl? At least once a day. She may be leaving for good, or I may but how do I ensure I see my girl everyday?

    1. First I will start with I love the law but I will say they are having a few issues with “parenting time” I don’t like that term but it is what we use now instead of “the parent that isn’t around much”. Now since she is your wife I will assume you signed the papers when the baby was born and so did she, saying you are the father. That statement in itself actually makes you both legally responsible and I am not saying go pick your child up and keep the child from the mother but I am saying at least get a lawyer and or ask to visit with your child and this isn’t the best advice but if we are going by the law then you can take the child until you two go to court and sort this out. Please don’t keep the mother from the child.. I don’t think a child should be without either one. I hope this helps, my special is not this type of law but the statute is still the same.

  39. I have a son who is now 15 years old, I never stopped paying child support since he was 2 but I lost contact and cant get a hold of the mom. I’m sure my son either hates me or doesn’t want to know crap about me. I could do something to see him correct? I live in California.

  40. My son is in rehab in another state. My husband and I asked his wife (they are separated but not legally) to allow their 5 year old to come with us to see his dad. She agreed. Now she says she is rethinking the situation since their son “acted up” after speaking to his dad on the phone. Does she have a legal right to refuse to let our grandson visit? Our son is a resident in a long term rehab so he is s sober.

  41. Thalia Fernanda Bermeo

    My boyfriend and I have a complicated problem. His ex and him had a baby, but by the time he told him she was pregnant there were 2 questionable months were they had already separated so it might not be his. Other than that he is responsible and believes its probably his anyways and is willing to take care of his baby though his ex is crazy and has mental issues and is always fighting him and being mean as hell. He never knows what is going on with their daughter, but still tries to work with her and make the best of it. Once her sister saw me, told her, and then his ex threatened him with child support even though he buys her whatever she needs for their daughter whenever he can. I feel guilty about it. I really like his daughter she is a cute baby and I don’t want her to be taken away from him nor do I want him to be paying child support because we are kind of struggling to keep our heads above water per say. If we have to get a third job to survive I won’t be able to handle having to work harder just because she decided to be bitter. Is there anyway to avoid child support? We got evidence that he buys stuff for their daughter and everyone we know (friends and family) knows that he loves their daughter and that she is trying to keep him away from her just to spite him. What can we do? I don’t think I can handle this thing and he’s afraid that he will have to pay child support and have to work extra jobs and won’t even be able to see his kid.

    1. I’m going through the same thing but she is pregnant. And saying it’s not mine. We both went for it. And I remember when did the test together. Now she has a restraining order on me and I can’t do anything until the baby is out

  42. I have a serious problem of my own. Me and girlfriend have been together for nearly 3 years and now she is pregnant with my child. However, we are both under aged. I will he turning 18 shortly, and she will be turning 16 2 months after. Her mom now has to move and won’t allow her to stay with a family member in my town or even with me and my family until we can find a place of our own. My main concern is that I won’t be able to see her or the baby (who will be born in 2 months!!) very often because of where she’s moving to, I won’t have money for a car, I’m still in highschool (I will finish next year), I’m jobless (been searching for jobs and got a few offers here and there), and I want to be in my child’s life. Like actually in his life. I want to be able to raise him, to be able to see him every day, to have to change his diapers, to have to wake up every night because he’s crying, the whole 9 yards, but they won’t let her stay! And she’s obviously going to want to take the baby with them! And I would gladly move with them, but I don’t really think that’s an option. Is there some way I can take this to court and get the right to have her stay so I can actually take care of and support my child instead of me having to send her money every month and only being able to see him once a month to every few months? Someone please help me out. I really, truly want to he in my child’s life. He is my first child, after all, and I’ve fully committed myself to him and my girlfriend. Any advise would be helpful. If you need contact info to get a hold of me, my email is FelixRoman19@Gmail.com, you can send me an email at any time.

  43. I really need advise. My son is 5 and I have him every Friday, Saturday and Sunday which is great! My problem is my ex-girlfriend is a habitual liar about everything and does not work with my in any situation when it comes to the raising of my son. I have resorted to getting evidence against her in hopes of getting custody. I never mind having my child and really wish I had him everyday. I would love to get him during the week but she never picks him up on time even on Sundays when she has to get him from my house and she knows he’s in school. He is always dirty (fingernails and all) and she ignores my text messages when I ask when she will pick him up due to late hours. She’s been arrested in front of my parents house for abuse of me and somehow now gotten it expunged. This week she told me she is having surgery when I have evidence she is going out of town the weekend and not returning til Tuesday. As I said my son is in school and I now have to make arrangements for work and getting him to school since I live on the other side of town from where he attends. I have no money for an attorney to help me. I am not trying to keep him from her but I really want my son. I have tried to reach out to her parents for support and she has poisoned them against me so they especially the mom will not work with me in any way. My parents are very supportive but this is my responsibility not theirs. I really need help in order to if not get full custody at least an agreement. I have tried working with her and possibly getting a mediator but her response to me is “Im not signing or agreeing to anything”. She does not work with me at all but always manipulates to have it her way. PLEASE HELP!

    1. On your papers from court does it state the time she has to pick up and drop off. Also if there’s a grace period.

      Get evidence! If you think she may not be a good parent build your case. Facts. Evidence. Not just he said she said.

  44. My husband has a 12 year old daughter who he hasn’t seen in 7 years. His ex wife changes her number every time he gets it, and has went as far as keeping the child from her maternal grand parents. She does send the maternal grand parents pictures, but never a return address. No one knows where they live… Overtime we feel we are getting closer to finding them we get knocked back 500 steps.. Their divorce papers state that he is to have visitation, school schedule, extra curricular activity schedule, working phone number and address. To which she has ignored the last 6 years. We now have a daughter together, and since we are back on our feet would like to find out what steps to take to at least ensure he gets visitation.

  45. Okay, this is probably going to be an extremely strange question considering the subject matter but you guys seem to be knowledgable about these situations, so here goes. I’m 16. I’ve forced to fly from Washington to California every school break and even on some weekends for almost 15 years now for visitation with my father. My relationship with him can be characterized as volatile and emotionally draining at best. We are just incompatible people, and he’s unwilling to go to family therapy. He believes that my mother, with whom I live, turned me against him (he is incapable of taking any responsibility, my psychiatrist even diagnosed him as a narcissist based on what I’ve told him) and has continually said horrible things about her my entire life (I admit the way she left was not ideal. But what’s that got to do with me or my relationships with my parents?), as well as telling me all about how my mom screwed him in court even though I wasn’t supposed to know (which is completely stupid, I should be allowed to at least know who’s forcing me to go see a borderline emotionally abusive parent, but that’s beside the point.) Anyways, he was on disability (he has CP) and was using social security in lieu of child support for about 8 years. Well last month my mom got a letter from social security saying that he’s been making enough money that he doesn’t qualify anymore for social security. – well actually he defrauded social security by lying about how much he was making, but whatever. It would have been fine, except he’s now refusing to pay for child support. See, I’ve been saving that money for college since I was around 13. I don’t have money for college or my singing lessons (which are necessary because of the field I want to go into) unless he pays child support. I guess my mom must have emailed him asking to pay while I was visiting him, because he started throwing a temper tantrum; screaming and crying about how my mom married him for his money and didn’t want me to have a relationship with him and how he doesn’t see me often enough so he’s entitled not to pay. I’m just really frustrated. Whenever I go down I feel like I’m dealing with a toddler throwing a tantrum, except that toddler is legally allowed to do whatever he wants to me. And now he’s being a deadbeat and a cheapskate, refusing to pay. Is there any way to make him pay once I’m 18? And if there isn’t, can I at least get the court to reduce my visitation? Thanks 🙂

    1. You have rights too even if you are not 18. With your moms permission try to get a pro bono lawyer. They’ll put you on the stand for your opinion.

  46. We live in Florida. My son and his girlfriend just had their daughter a couple weeks ago. He has worked full time and supported her for the last couple years (she has not held a job) and is now also supporting their daughter. They do live together. He is on the birth certificate. His girlfriend is very moody and has said numerous times that if things don’t work out well enough for her, she will take the baby and move to her parents in Georgia. I have been told that in Florida, she has 100% say over his daughter and he has none and that if she wants to take her and go, she can. Is this true? It would break his heart.

    1. That is not true. Fathers have rights, plus he has rights. If she takes the baby without his permission written and notarized or through court that is kidnapping.

      Also, she already seems unstable from what you wrote. I suggest he goes to a pro bono lawyer and get a consultation about his options.

  47. My son is 7 years old his mom will drop him off with me and take him maybe once some times up to three nights a month so she can go out and party she has excuses like she works everyday but there are Facebook posts of her at clubs.im suppose to have him 1st 3rd and 5th weekends. This has been going on for over a year. My son has started telling me he wants to live with me. When she does show up she starts underminding my authority with him and when I ask her to treat me with respect in front of him she starts yelling and telling me “go fuck yourself!” In front of him. She then tells him don’t worry you don’t have to see daddy anymore. He then starts crying and latches on to me and she forcibly pulls him off me or away from me. He tells me he is to scared to tell his mom how she makes him feel cause she yells at him and gets him in trouble for it. The only downside is I’m Leaving for the Army again in less than a month I would love to see my son being able to be open and talk about how he feels without fear of his mom. If I file papers now the court date won’t be till after I leave I chose a different MOS for the Army as I wanted a skill I can fall back on in the civilian job market in the future so I’m being shipped to complete training for that MOS which is 6 months long. I plan to take every opportunity to talk with him through Skype while I’m training for my MOS. I don’t know what to do about him being scared to speak up. My son uses in appropriate languages talking about how is mom says things like “a dickey do is where your belly sticks out further than your dick does.” He repeats that he flips people off and laughs he says his momma does it when asked where he learned it from. He talks about his mom being a stripper and says he has learned dance moves from her stripper job and friends. My biggest concern is the trauma he endures when she cusses me out in front of him and when she threatens him with being in trouble just as she did when he said he wanted to live with me in front of her and she said “I will ground you for that there is no way I will ever let you live with him.” What should I do?

  48. My fiance has a daughter he hasn’t seen in 6 yrs and he pays child support. Judge said was suppost to get visitation and he had to notify his ex when he wanted to see her. He has sent her allot of letters never a reply. And cps has contacted him 4 times in 5 yrs of a case they have had. What does he need to do about seeing his daughter or has he waited to long to do anything?

  49. My sons father received custody of my child in court after he locked me out of the house and kept my son away from me I get to see him two days a week while we were together we had a separation period where he moved back to his mother’s house and I stayed at our house we got back together a few months later and I found out I was pregnant I did sleep with another man right after we split up and I’m not sure that my sons father (who has custody) is really his dad he did sign the affidavit of parentage but is there anything I can do to get my son back? Can I request a DNA test he want let me see my son more than I do even if I ask and I want my baby back.

  50. I got served, went to court, got a joint custody of my daughter. I get to see her only 4 hours a day every other weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) The problem is I live 2 hours away (I live in NJ and my daughter lives in CT) I want to see her more than 4 hours but I don’t want to go back to CT after visiting for 4 hours on Friday or Saturday. Is this fair?

  51. My husband has a daughter that he has never been able to see. The mother does not let him see his daughter because of the relationship that they had in the past. It has now been 8 years and she re-married and told the little girl that another man is the father. My husband tried to help her out when his daughter was born but she refused to accept his help because she said she was on welfare. He stopped trying to talk to the mother because she would never talk to him in person about the situation on how he could visit the little girl and she would tell him that she did not want to see him. What should my husband do in order to be able to see the little girl.

    1. He needs to contact our team and file a parentage action and request the court to order mandatory parenting time (visitation). This is not easy to do, and he probably needs to work with one of our experts. Call us now and get the father’s rights you deserve!

  52. My husband has a daughter that he has never been able to see. The mother does not let him see his daughter because of the relationship that they had in the past. It has now been 8 years and she re-married and told the little girl that another man is the father. My husband tried to help her out when his daughter was born but she refused to accept his help because she said she was on welfare. What should my husband do in order to be able to see the little girl.

  53. My fiance has not been able to see his son in over a year. We had recently moved out of state in sept 14 to take care of my parkinsons diseased grandmother now that she has passed away we have moved back. While living in this other state his sons mother would talk constantly about how her and his son cant wait for him to move back so he can see him. The day we moved back he contacted her and she told him there is no way he can see his son until they go to court. It has now been 3 months since we have been living here, he constantly calls texts and fb messages her in hope for a response to see his son but she fails to reply and has begun to ingore his whole family which would see his son every other weekend. Him and I are concerned about his sons wellbeing because when we did get to see his son he would come over with bruises human and bug bite marks. We want to file emergency custody but are concerned that the courts will not side in his favor because the child has been living with his mother for the past 2 years and she does have him enrolled in school. Is there anything we can do to help have the case go in his favor?

    1. Well, after leaving the state for a year (for admirable reasons of course), it does not look good as far as changing custody. However, he should go to court and get a parenting plan entered. He needs to hire an attorney immediately and file for visitation. This can not wait any longer. It has already gone on too long in the eyes of the court with him not taking action – the longer he waits, the more a judge will assume that it really isn’t that important to him. This will take sacrifice and cost money, but it is his son, and he needs a father’s rights expert to fight for him. Contact our local team on this site and we can connect you to a pro who can help. If he is being abused, and if this is serious (human bites) the department of children and family services should probably be called in to investigate as well. All of this must happen immediately!

  54. My boyfriend is getting a raw deal. He needs to get his fathers rights somehow but he keeps getting screwed over by his sons mother. What does he need to do to get a set schedule with his ex? She constantly lies about how he treats his son to turn the family against us both.

    1. We know that this happens all the time when people break up and anger takes over. The best advice we can give you is to have your boyfriend file a complaint to determine parentage and then ask the judge for your visitation rights. As a father, he should be able to receive the same rights to visitation and custody as his sons mother. Most states have even changed the statutes (laws) in their states to specifically say that the father’s rights are equal to a mothers for custody and visitation issues. the best thing you can do to help him out would be to help him be consistent with asking for time and providing assistance for his son on a regular basis. Showing up to parent teacher conferences, sporting events, and a written record of requests to spend time with his son is important and can go a long way when presented to the judge. Contact us to speak with a local attorney in your area so that you can help him get the father’s rights you deserve. Check out this article for more information: https://www.familylawrights.net/blog/5-ways-to-win-a-fathers-rights-custody-battle/

  55. My son is 27 and he gets his son every other weekend for visitation. At the time of the agreement he agreed to take his son as long as myself or my husband was here with him as to aid him in taking care of his son which we understand cause he was only one year old he is now going to be 4 next month is potty trained and can express what he wants verbly. The mother of now is complaining of my 27 year old sons ADHD implying that she thinks cause of it that he is mentally incompantant to have him by himself, but we have just learned that her current boyfriend has ADHD worse than my son is there anything he can do about this

    1. It is highly unlikely that any court would force your son into restricted or supervised visitation with his 4-year old child because he is ADHD. If there is an entered visitation order or parenting plan in place, she is not allowed to violate that order. If there is no order or judge signed parenting agreement in place, he needs to pursue that in court to protect his fathers rights to visitation. Our affiliated team of father’s rights attorneys can help if you contact us by calling or filling out the form on our site!

  56. In August 2014 my wife told me she will be seeking a divorce.At that time I had been battle some addictions which started after being prescribed pain killers for injuries sustained in a bad car accident.I had decided at that time to voluntarily enter an in-treatment rehab facility.I was there 18 weeks.Prior to entering the rehab my wife explained that she wanted to move to Alaska from our home in Florida, She and my son would live with my sister-in-law and her family in Alaska.This would give her time to get back on her feet financially.I agreed to let her take our son there to live until he finished with his school year in 2015.He is in first grade.She agreed and promised she would move back to the town where we lived in Florida in June 2015.So they went off to Alaska and off I went to rehab.I am happy to report that I have been clean for just about 11 months.I graduated from the rehab in January 2015.In March 2015 my wife explained that she and my son would not be returning to Florida.Two weeks later I received the divorce paperwork.She is seeking full legal and physical custody of our 7 year old son.She also is petitioning so that I only get supervised visitations with our son based on concern for his safety do to my drug addiction.She waited until she established 6 months of residency in Alaska with our son to file for the divorce.She filed in Alaska.Since I had not contested her living away from our home state with our son before she gained residency I have no recourse to have her return with him.I have several questions: 1. Is there anything I can do to get her to return with him? 2. What are my rights during the proceeding? There is no court order at this point.She has excluded me from all decisions regarding how he is being raised, who he is around or where he goes.She took him to visit family in New York in April and didn’t even make me aware of the fact that they would be flying from Alaska to New Your and back until after they had returned to Alaska. 3. There has never been any neglect or abuse, documented or otherwise.I completed an 18 week rehab program and I have maintained sobriety for almost 11 months.I go to AA meetings regularly.I’ve never been arrested for anything.Is it possible that she would be awarded sole physical and legal custody and have me only get supervised visitations? This is killing me.I haven’t seen my son since August 24th, 2014.I talk to him once/week because of the 4 hour time difference and my wife’s work schedule only permits speaking with him on Sunday evenings at 9:00pm.It’s killing my parents as they don’t get to see or talk to their only grandchild anymore.We lived in the same town as my parents for 2 1/2 years before my wife and son moved to Alaska.Any advice or knowledge?

  57. I am a wife/ step-mom, with about 13 years of experience with the “system”, and I am sorry to say, to all of you fathers out there, that the only right you have is the right to pay. Period, plain and simple, just give up, we have.

    My step daughter was medically and educationally neglected when she was younger, the only thing the law cares about is making sure the kid stays with mom, no matter what kind of POS she is.

    My step daughter has officially dropped out of school at the age of 13 because her mom uses her to hurt my husband. The judge is letting her get away with this, she has been out of school for 3 months now, and the judge just keeps saying that she needs to get back into school and re-schedules the hearing. The truancy/ CHIPS petition was filed over 2 years ago by the school when she was only attending 2 days a week. Still, the judge says it’s not the mom’s responsibility, it’s the childs fault. Give up guys, I wish we had walked away years ago. There is no way you can win.

  58. i have a little girl named Jordan. Her mom and me couldn’t make the relationship work. She use to punch me in the face, hit by the car,stabbed,kicked between the legs and even got poisoned when she cooked dinner. I left the day she stabbed me and never went back. My little girl was asleep and woke up to me standing in the living room bleeding. I have a million dollars in doctor bills due to her. I only called the cops twice and nothing was done to her. In the past 2 years I’ve only got to see my girl maybe twice. If we run into each other in public she causes the biggest scene ever. I’ve only missed a few child support payments to her. What can I do to see my kid? She needs her daddy and I need my “daddy’s little princes”. I’m looking for anyone’s advice on this…

  59. complicated situation need some advice. 4 years ago a friend had a baby, her boyfriend (never married) signed the birth certificate knowing he wasn’t the father (he’s white the baby is mixed). they split up and are going through a custody battle.
    my other friend is the bio dad but just found out a month ago from the mother,he’s setting up dna testing right now. we are wondering if the dna testing will hold up in court and if he will have rights at that point??? we are in michigan.

  60. I have been divorce in 2004. We have a joint custody, but primary placement is with my ex-wife. Unfortunately, she passed away last year 2014, and now I have custody of my daughter. Now my ex-wife’s boyfriend is serving me lawsuits. He wanted to take sole custody of my daughter and primary placement and visitation of my daughter. I am confused as to why he is doing so. I am angry and stress that he would served me to go to court. What can I do at this point and the fastest way to reserved this? My Attorney strategy is to go into mediation, which I totally disagree. My daughter and I do not have any blood tied to this boyfriend of my ex-wife. What can I do?

  61. I have two children (7 and 5). My wife and I are about to get divorced. I am currently unemployed but my wife has a job. She wants child custody. We have a house. As a father what right I have in terms to child custody, child supports and asset division?

  62. I have been living in tx for almost ten years. My children reside in ca, i have always paid my child support but my youngest sons mother refuses to let me c him. i am married now and have just been served with papers that state that my youngest son has been removed from his mothers care and is being detained by the city of san bernadino in ca what do i need to do to get custody of my son. please help me i have called and called the social worker with no call back and i am really worried about him.

  63. I have a son who is trying to fight for custody of his 6 yr. old son . The child has behavioral problems that the mother refuses to address. The child has anger issues and mental health issues that the mother has not addressed. The school he attends has tried to contact the mother by phone calls, letters sent through the mail, letters sent home with the child but there has been no response from the mother. She has an attorney and he can’t afford to pay for an attorney. She has relatives paying for her legal services and the mother went and told her attorney a bunch of lies pertaining to my son and got his visitation reduced from every other weekend down to 2 days a month and expects him to be able to build a strong, loving relationship with his son. I don’t believe this woman is able to make a rational decision when it comes to my grandson. There have been questions as to the environment he’s being raised in also. The child has told his dad that he doesn’t get to spend time with his mother that he’s always at his maternal grandmother’s house. The mother is not employed to my knowledge, apparently she couldn’t stay clean off drugs long enough to be able to be employed at a gas station. I’m very concerned about my grandson’s safety as well. He’s been at his father’s house when I’ve went for a visit and he has had injuries each time. The first was on April 25, 2014 and he had a bruise on his face so I inquired about what happened and was told that his maternal grandmother hit him with a flyswatter in the face. Hos father said he also had a bruise on his back too. I was infuriated by the one on his face. Like I said , This family doesn’t have much money but are in need of help very desperately in order to get this child out of what seems to be a bad situation. On September 27, 2014, I was able to see the child again and this time he had a sore on his back and we asked what happened and he said that he kept falling off the swings at school ,but it sounded like it was a coached response. This child is now in kindergarten and struggling because the mother refuses to cooperate with the school.My son and his fiance went and talked to the child’s teacher and she said that this child can’t stay sitting still or out of trouble for a 30 minute period. My son has nothing but his child’s best interest at heart. We just want him to be able to get the help he needs which my son is willing to get him the help his child needs. In fact before the visitation got reduced my son was in the process of setting up counseling in the home not only with the child but with the family as a whole and when the visitation got reduced to 2 days a month they just figured that wouldn’t do any good. Another issue is stability , there is no stability at the mother’s house, he is free to do as he chooses but when he is at dad’s house there are rules and a family- oriented environment. They make plans to do family- oriented activities. I believe this child would be so much better off with his father . Can you help us please?

  64. Is it legal to block my ex-wife’s number so she can’t call me? She has my girlfriend/Fiancée’s number to call if she needs to. We have 3 kids together but she has been calling and yelling, crying about her boyfriend and a lot of things that have nothing to do with our kids. I have told her to stop calling me unless its about the kids but she hasn’t listened, instead she gets mad yells and has called more. This has been happening more and more over the last year.

  65. I have a son who is 15 years old and was involved with a girl who is 19. she got pregnant and told my son that he was the father. They continued to have a relationship during and after the pregnancy. I found out about the baby about a month after he was born. My son finally told me. I talked to the mother and asked about the baby and she said she gave the baby to a couple that couldn’t have anymore children. she wouldn’t give me any information about the baby, like where he was born, she even told me the wrong birth date. I found out a lot of information on facebook about the couple that have the baby. I have a lawyer right now and we are trying to get a paternity test done to make sure it is my sons child. We have had 2 court hearings which she didn’t show up to. The other day we had an emergency court hearing with the judge and a lawyer that represents the couple who have the baby was there to represent the mother of the baby. They had filed a petition to dismiss the case because my son didn’t get on the Paternity Registry. We are in Texas. How was he suppose to know about a Registry, being 15 years old. She was running the whole show. There has to be something we can do. This cant be the end of it. If that is my sons baby then he wants the opportunity to raise him, with help from his parents of course until he is able on his. They said his rights have been terminated, how could that be without him knowing? There has to be something we can do. Help Please. The couple are trying to adopt the baby.

  66. While married, my ex-wife put one of my twin sons on medication for ADHD without my consent. She met with the doctor when I was unavailable and knowing that I was against the idea and did not give me the opportunity to discuss it with the Pediatrician. She quickly filled the prescription that evening and administered the drug before I got home (the drug is to be administered in the morning). My son had side affects from the drug and she had the doctor change them without my knowledge. Situations like this led to our divorce. At the end of last school year we both decided to take him off his meds for the summer. While at the school this evening to meet their new teacher (my ex-wife also teaches there)I found out she has been giving him his medication on a regular basis but does not send it with him during my visitations because she knows how I feel about it. The medication was prescribed solely for school and classroom activities. When I called her out on breaking the parenting agreement and told her I was going to contact my lawyer, she said “go ahead, how are you going to pay for it? My parents have a million dollars.” What can I do??

  67. Hello, my fiancée is going through a divorce. He is fighting for alternating weeks for his parenting time. Will this lower his child. Support order?

  68. Im a father and I just got released from jail in june my son’s mother is still mad that im not with her i moved on so now she’s in her feelings not letting me be apart of my sons life because were not together. Im trying my best and im not giving up to be the good father i am is there any way i’m able to co-parent i can get him on weekends i need to be apart of his life and i need serious help

    1. Please call us. Just because you were in jail, does not mean you deserve to get the father’s rights. Call our team of expert fathers rights lawyers!

    2. I was 7 months pregnant when my fake fiance left me for another woman who always been there after I had my daughter 8 months passed and I havent heard anything from him. Now he sends his sister over to my house to ease things between me and him now he wants to see his daughter after 8 months of no phone calls or anything. what should I do I know I cant keep her away from him the courts will take his side but before I had her he was abusive and pushed my oldest daughter and I pressed charges against him for that

  69. Hello. I am currently helping a friend out with his divorce case and i was wondering if someone who knows MN laws could email me. I cannot afford a lawyer.

    1. I’m sorry to hear about the financial difficulties. I know it is expensive to hire a family law attorney, but not doing so could have drastic consequences that cost your friend tens of thousands of dollars rather than a couple grand now. Do all you can to get some money together, it is your friends best chance. Credit cards, loans from friends, family or a title loan company even – there is no substitute for an expert Minnesota divorce attorney!

  70. My future husband has a terrible time with his ex wife. They have been divorced for almost 5 years. She used to interfere with his parenting time, several times in court and that has subsided. However, she continues to disparage him and me to their 3 children as well as to the general public. His oldest son is 13 and has 2 daughters, 7 and 9. She berrates his over text and email. We went to a family counseling session and she completely lost control. She tells the children that I am a loser and both my fiance and I are on drugs.
    Our main concern is his son. He seems depressed when visiting. He tells us he hates his mother and hates living with her. He also says she does not love him. He is a little overweight and he also tells us she is starving him. She sends him to private school and he hates it. It is a small school and there are not many children his age. When my fiance tries to talk to his ex about changing schools or his children’s extra cirricular activities, she says she is the parent of primary residence and only she has the last say. The last visit to court, the judge did a turn around and almost took away my fiances rights to visitation. His lawyer was awful and basically just took it all laying down.
    We only have the children every other weekend and every tuesday, about 8 days a month. He pays a pretty decent amount of support, we buy all their clothing, shoes, coats. We have no idea what she spends the support on, but she is running around town in a new Cadillac sporting Jimmy Choos. If she pays for an afterschool activity, (that she schedules during his parenting time), she starts demanding more money. It’s a mess, she is politically connected, and he is always getting the short end. He petitioned for equal time, we live within 2 miles of each other, and he already drives them to school now. She makes more money then him. We purchased a home that each child has their own room, (they dont have that at her house). And we are engaged. Yet the judge refused to modify the order stating there is no substatial change in circumstance. I could go on forever, she is just an awful person that just wants what she wants and does not seem to care about what is in the best interest of the children

  71. Up until a few weeks ago, my husbands son (now 8) lived with us since Dec 2011. He and his ex decided it would be best for him because he was messing up in school and I’m assuming, she just didnt want to take the time to correct it. Every time we mentioned to her about dis-enrolling him in school so he can go somewhere more convenient for us, she requested he come home. He was doing well in school and didnt want to make him suffer. We found out he was academically behind in the second grade. the teacher worked with us and we seen a major difference. She never seen his Bio Mom, we dropped him off, picked him the whole school year, paid for after school programs because even though he was under her for welfare (and there was nothing we could do on our end) we couldnt receive any subsidy. after that year and much tension and no help from Bio Mom(she might of gotten her son 4/5 times since we had him) She was suppose to get him for summer break, never showed, would only call when son called her first. we have records. i would get so upset seeing him upset and crying because she wouldnt call or show up. Anywho, we were able to reach someone at the school who would allow his dad to dis-enroll him so he could be in a another district. We contacted her one more time see if she would do anything..nothing..few weeks before school, dad enrolled him in a charter school and all was at peace, it had been 3 years of the nonsense. I could now go to work and know either myself or his dad would drop him off/pick him up without worrying about being late, etc. First day if school went well, he calls to tell Bio Mom, no answer, she leaves a message and says she will come and get him Friday, Friday, nothing. My stepson cried his heart out, the next day, my husband called and told her she needed to be more consistant because he was getting older and it was affecting him. She said she would, that lasted for about 2 months. she would still try to pick him up at late hours and drop him off whenver she felt like it, another talk, she agreed but then didnt show. we are now in Nov, fast forward to Dec, we get a complaint for full custody. Nothing he could do but she what the judge says, she never shows for mediation and it is thrown. The day its thrown out, husband was advised to file for custody , he did. She was served on Sat morning and had son. Sunday came and went, he called/texted her phone, we called police, hospitals, nothing..Mon, Tues, Weds, Weds he calls and says hes now staying with his mother, Husband asked to speak to his mother, she said she sent a text Sunday..she didnt, he went back downtown and they gave him a court date for March. She had tried to enroll him in a different school, we have not seen him, she wont let him come even though he calls and says he wants to….what now?? its been almost a month, Im trying to stay strong for my husband but i feel like my child was taking away from me as well. At this point, all i do is pray. Please help! any advice you can give.

  72. P.S. Our son HAS been paying child support through the CA courts on line and on time ever since the DNA test proved he was the father. He was not only current but actually paying extra to get caught up on the back payments the state said he owed. And then yesterday discovered that all his money from both savings and checking accounts had been taken. Every. Single. Penny.

    Can the state do this to him? How is he supposed to pay his own bills so that he may continue to work and support this child?

    Your advice and comments are greatly appreciated!

    1. It is rare for the courts to do this, but it does happen in some states. If you feel as though the bank account seizure and garnishment was unjust, give us a call and we will put you in touch with a California child support attorney who can advise you as to your sons rights. Sorry to hear about this unfortunate situation.

  73. My step-son was informed 3 years ago by CA Children’s Court that he has a son. The mother is a woman he was with only a few times (not a relationship). While she was pregnant, she told our son this wasn’t his baby. Later she recanted her story. Our son asked for and received DNA testing for himself and the baby when the mother asked for child support. The test was positive; he is the baby daddy. The mother told the court clerk that she didn’t want any of her information shared with our son. He has no idea where she lives or the welfare of his child. He has never been allowed visitation.

    Our son recently moved to another state. Unfortunately, he didn’t make this known to the CA courts and yesterday discovered they had completely cleaned out both his checking and savings accounts. Of course, we’re hoping this will make our son angry enough to step up and do what he has to do to get fair child support payments and gain access to visitation.

    As grandparents, we want our son and the rest of this child’s family to have visitation with this now four year old child. Is there anything WE, as grandparents, can do to get this ball rolling? We are in California and we are willing to fight for this child.

  74. My kids mother moved away in 2000. In 2005 when I requested regular visits she refused to allow me to see my kids (3 boys). The youngest at the time was born in 2000. In 2000 it was recognized the paternity of the youngest was in question. I filed Pro Se in ’05 for visitation and our Parental Agreement and Consent Order was put in play. Within the order there were provisions for a paternity test for the youngest. If my son, I wanted a relationship. She refused to perform the test. Finally 4 years later, after she and her boyfriend had created a fantasy for 9 years or more, suggested the youngest was his son. I managed to get a swab to use for the paternity test and as suspected he was my son. I was obliged to have the same visitation as my other kids. I screwed up in ’05 not understanding the meaning of full custody. I relinquished custody to the kids mother, thinking it just meant they were going to live her.

    Times have changed dramatically, she has used the kids as pawns during these years where the kids wanted to explore certain endeavors to better their educational opportunities through athletics and because I was involved she’s refused them certain access to improve their positioning. I have the acumen and resources to help my kids, she knows it and refuses to allow my kids to spend any extra time with me, other than what’s in the visitation plan (i.e. every other weekend). My oldest is now 24 ( she screwed up his track scholarship) and there’s my 19 year old (she screwed up his football scholarship) and finally the youngest is 13 at this juncture, she’s on the way to butcher his HS basketball dreams. Mind you I’m not a wealthy man and I understand the importance of a good education. As a football coach, I’ve sent plenty of kids to college using their athletics to pay/pave their way. My 13 year old wants to spend more time with me so he can reach the hopes and dreams he’s interested in. Again Mom wont allow me any extra time. In fact has my son using her now husbands last name in school and on his uniform during extra curricular activities. Its mind blowing.

    I need to modify the custody agreement yet there’s no substantial change of circumstance. I want to spend more time with my 13 year old. The agreement was put together when he was 9 and before that she kept him away from me, reporting to people that he was her then boyfriends now husbands son. They both are part of the efforts to keep my sons access to me limited as well she continues to file frivolous contempt motions which are senseless! I need an aggressive no nonsense attorney to address my challenges with the modification and her as well.

    1. When it comes to fighting for father’s rights and modifying a custody agreement, you are correct, an aggressive attorney is necessary. A “substantial change in circumstances” has occurred, even though you don’t view it that way. In fact, as a child ages, their needs change, and this is a substantial change in circumstances. Give us a call and we’ll connect you with the fathers rights help you deserve.

  75. my wife left and took my children a month later I got served divorce papers she went over 60 miles away without my consent she will not come half way for me to see my children while doing my homework I found out she can’t move over 50 miles away without my or the courts consent she got neither she moved my kids with her into her mothers house who smokes pot and hates me I don’t know if she talks about me in front of the children they are 2 and 3 years old I have been nice to my wife and not letting on about what I know should I wait till we go to court or what should I do I just want my children

  76. fathers have no rights i was given a court order of visitation for my son from the court of trumbull county in ohio two years later they sent me a letter in the mail saying my ex wife and son filed for re location i havent a phone number to contact them only an address and its been over a year since ive seen jacob

    1. Family Law Advice

      Hi Michael, You do have certain rights when it comes to visitation and custody. I would have your case looked at again by one of our attorneys for a free evaluation. At least get a second opinion.

  77. Greetings to you,

    My brother has a situation that he is very concerned about. His wife has decided to separate from him and return to the state of New Jersey. Upon her return, she applied for welfare, Medicaid and section 8. When she applied, they told her that she needs verification of the child’s father’s income. He is quite concerned for whether or not they can come after him legally for child support. He does send her monies via bank transfer on a monthly basis. Is this something that he should be concerned about?
    Additionally, is there a special calculation that judges use for child support? If so, is it possible for you to share that with me?

    Your Advice would be greatly appreciated
    Mrs. Ouedraogo

    1. Yes, the state will come after him looking to get some of the money that they paid to the mom on his behalf. And that debt will stick with him forever. The best thing he can do is this: #1 – file a parentage action and get his fathers rights, 2. ask to begin paying child support through the state, that way they will keep an accurate accounting of the money he has paid, and he will not end up with tens of thousands of dollars in back child support being owed. Give us a call!

  78. My wife and I are in the beginning stages of a divorce. She has told me to leave the house in the next couple of months or else? We have a 13yr old son at home who I don’t want exposed to any arguments, and want him to finish Hs where he is currently going. I don’t want to go into debt by starting over ..ie rent, furniture etc.Do I have the same right to live in my house(we own a house together)as she does?

  79. Caitlin Farnworth

    Is there a way for my brother, who lives in north dakota, assign me to act on his behalf on all matters involving his daughter? We want to ensure that our family is allowed to be a part of her life. The child, her mother and i, all live in indiana. Would he have to terminate his rights, or could he sign them over to me,? would i need to adopt the child? is this even a legal posibility, and if so how would we go about getting it done? The mother has never denied me visitation with my neice, but my mother passed away in august, and since then it has been VERY difficult to contact the child’s mother, and when I do finally talk to her it seems like she makes excuses why i cant see the baby that day. Sometimes it takes 2 weeks of daily calling, texting, messages via facebook, and contacting her mother, just to ask to see the baby, then i have to wait 2 weeks before she lets me keep her for even one night. I did keep the baby for while school was on fall break and her mom was working, but Erica didnt have anybody to babysit for her, My mom usually watched her when school was out We are worried that because my brother (the child’s father,) lives so far away, the mother is basically free to do whatever she wants, regardless of what best for the child. And, god forbid , if anything happens to erica, my brother is far away so erica’s mother would most likely get he child, What can we do to ensure our family’s involvment in the child’s life? Any information you can give me will be very helpful, and extremely appriciated!

    1. Tough situation. He can not sign over his rights to you, unfortunately. And an adoption would have to be approved by both parents, and it sounds like the mother is not willing to give up her rights and allow you to adopt and take the child away from her. Best bet is to just foster a good relationship with the mother, as hard as it is, so that you can see the child on a regular basis. there isn’t much that a court will do as you do not have “standing” to bring a case for visitation or custody. Best advice: become friends with the mom, offer to help out, be nice, and in return, hopefully she will let you remain involved in the child’s life.

  80. Hey my daughter was just born and the mother of my child didn’t put my name on the birth certificate. Now she is denying me visitation….What rights do i have in this matter?

    1. Family Law Advice

      You need to file a Complaint to Establish Parentage and ask the judge to force her to provide a DNA test from both you and the child. Once it comes back with you being the father, you will immediate father’s rights to visitation, and you will also be ordered to begin paying child support as well. Make sure you get the right visitation rights and are not forced to overpay child support, hire a father’s rights lawyer right away who will fight for you every step of the way!

  81. My twins are 15 now and every attempt to establish relationship has ultimately failed. We never wanted to take things to court for our girls sake….however my girls are asking for time with me and their mother keeps telling them no. She isnt feeding them, she punched and stomped my daughter in the face, just to name a few(i hv text from my daughters)We’ve never been married and when I filed paperwork a few years back for joint custody, they kept sending it back saying that it was the wrong address but I KNOW I wasn’t mistaken but the clerk said there was nothing more they could do if I didn’t hv another address. My daughters this year hv sent me msgs asking me to do something. Ive called the police and child protective services. What do I need to do to get custody (of any kind)?

    1. Family Law Advice

      If violence is taking place at the hands of your ex, you need to file an order of protection on their behalf. Get in front of a judge and ask for an emergency intervention (mediator) to be appointed and get the story told. They deserve to be protected, and you deserve to spend time with them.You have father’s rights that need to be fought for – child visitation is a right that you deserve. Call us right away, our father’s rights advocates will fight for you!

  82. Wife moved out of home with kids without my consent. She has refused to take my calls. I have no idea if she is planning to seek a divorce or not. In case she’s planning for a divorce, what legal action can I take to get her and my kids back? What are my rights? How can you help?

    1. Family Law Advice

      Stop waiting for her to make the next move. file for divorce immediately and ask for temporary and permanent custody of the children based on her not having a stable living environment, since you still have the home they had been growing up in. Call us right away.

  83. Hi,
    My friend has recently separated from his partner. They were never married, but lived together for around two years. In that time the father has been the sole provider (to my knowledge) for their one year old and five year old. The one year old child is biologically the fathers, but the five year old is not. My friend is specifically seeking custody for his one year old. I have known the family for around a year and know the children very well. The one year old is extremely attached to the father. In my opinion, the mother seems to be a bit of a sociopath. I have never seen her show affection to either of her children. Also, the mother is still in college whereas the father has a full time job. When they are both busy during the day, the one year old stays with the father’s parents. The father did move out of the house around a week ago, but he took his one year old with him. The child spends time with both parents right now. I’d like information on what he can do to get custody of his one year old and if there is anything to do about the five year old. Thank you.

  84. hello my name is Lizzy and I am desperately looking for someone to give me advice on how to help my husband. my husband has an upcoming court on October the 10th very soon. so I really need advise asap on his upcoming court. many people have said get a lawyer but we don’t have money for a lawyer. he’s trying to fight the court and fight his daughters mother. he’s having a lot of trouble with his visitation she denies on will not handle for the girls. he had one call a hotline call police which we cannot find the number for it again. he has brought this is you up at court and judge just told him that he’s not there to enforce visitation but the child support. that aside the biggest issue is that I’m not over the tent he has another court date to go on front of the judge. let me say this first my husband is not a US citizen and yes he’s here illegally. that being said it is kind of difficult for him to help find a job. without any social security or papers he can I find a stable job and the court doesn’t seem to understand let alone the judge. my husband tries to send in something at least something for child support. but would he make sometimes is not enough not even for us. sometimes without even exaggerating we don’t have nothing to eat. that said the judge told him on his last court date that on October the 10th he had to come up with $3000. but my husband is it legal does not have a social security or papers with no papers no Social Security means no good job no good pay. it’s hard for him to find a job he has to do want a labor sometimes. I was told you that in Dallas Texas it was not a Dept state. I really need some advice you me and my husband we don’t have any money he tries to pay his child support like I said but its kinda hard, at least he said something in. people say get a lawyer but like I stated we don’t have money for a lawyer and we don’t know what to do what are his rights what can he do what can he say at court. like I said the big problem here is that he does not have a Social Security is not a US citizen so he is illegal, he tries to send something like I said but is not enough apparently. my concern is that if he doesn’t take those $3000 stand up to the 10th he will go to jail which the judge has to in him with. please I really need some help.

    1. Tough situation. After speaking with us, I hope you were able to work out payment arrangements. However, when a judge orders payment, you have to do whatever it takes to get that money – they mean business. Credit cards, loans, selling things you own, whatever it takes to stay out of being held in contempt of court! Hope it worked out after speaking with our local attorney!

  85. I want to keep this short. .
    I have three children . 1, 2 & 3 yrs old.
    Me and thier mother have been together thier whole lives untill this past june 2013 first child was born in sept 2010 .
    Well we finally decided to separate .Due to communication problems .
    Now i recieve a child support order this month . Im not to worried about that because i would give her most of my imcome for the kids either way .
    My ? Is . Ever since we parted . She denies me to see them and im paying child support for all three as we speak. If i go to thier home i am denied by thier baby sitter which is thier grandmother. When i can clearly hear them and see them thru the door. Its been just about two months since ive seen them and since this is my first time going thru this just needed some advice. Personallyi just want what ever rights i can get i dnt wnt to take them away and i dont mind paying the support . I go to work every day for them as my motivation. And giving them what they need to be financially taken care of is my obligation .. I just cant have thier mother do this to me when i am actually someone who wants to be in thier lives . They are young now but im losing valuable time and need to put a stop to this asap. Thanks for your time. . Im kind of worried that ive waited to long two months seems like forever. When ive been thier everyday for three yrs.

    1. You need to file a complaint to establish a father and child relationship (complaint for parentage) get your father’s rights. Our father’s rights attorneys will fight to get you a set visitation schedule that details what days, times, and holidays you get visitation rights.We will also fight to enter a formal parenting agreement so that your father’s rights are memorialized in an order that will stand as proof of what you deserve. Contact us immediately and get the father’s rights help you deserve.

  86. I am trying to find some help for my son. A girl he dated got pregnant. She is mad because he did not stay with her and let her totally ruin his life. She says it is his kid, but refused to let him be at the hospital when the baby was born, therefore he couldn’t get a paternity test done. She and her psycho family have threatened to have him arrested if he comes near her or the child, so he took my advice and he has requested paternity be established thru the Dept of Social Services/Child Support. That was almost 2 months ago and the test still has not been ordered. The mom is leaving the baby with known drug dealers/users for days at a time, and since he has no proof the child is his, he can’t just go to these people’s homes and take the baby. When he met her, she was pulling this same game on her other baby’s father, the only difference is that my son wants to take responsibility if the baby is his. ( she now has a 2 month old and a 14 month old !) He is desperately needing advice on how to handle this. It is just a matter of time before Child Protective Services gets involved, and he needs to be “legally” ready to come forward when this happens to get custody of this kid if it is his. What rights does he have at this point, and how can he get paternity established when she refuses to have anything to do with him other than threaten to have him arrested? We don’t have a lot of money to hire big dog lawyers, but the good thing is that her family has nothing and they just move from one place to another until they get evicted for not paying their bills. Please help !!

    1. Family Law Advice

      You don’t need to have a ton of money to hire the big dogs, you just need to know who to hire, and for that, we can help. Listen, this is a serious situation and obviously it is going to cost some money, you get what you pay for. Credit cards, title loans, do whatever you have to do to scrape together $1500 and a good lawyer will take the case. Working out payment arrangements and payment plans works as well. File a Petition to Establish Paternity with the county court, not department of social services (they don’t care about your son at all, they only care about moms and kids). A judge will order a DNA test to be done immediately and if not completed, then she will be picked up and arrested. Get money together and call us, we will set you up with a free consultation with one of our child custody and father’s rights experts at no cost! Act now!

  87. DOES A THREE YEAR OLD HAVE ANY SAY IN WHICH PARENT HE WANTS TO STAY WITH? OUR GRANDSON GETS VERY UPSET WHEN HIS MOTHER COMES TO GET HIM,TELLS US AND HER HE DOESNT LIKE HER AND TELLS US AND HIS DAD(OUR SON) THAT SHE HITS HIM, SHE CLAIMS ITS SPANKING BUT WE HAVE WITNESSED HER SCREAMING IN HIS FACE AND JERKING HIM UP BY HIS LITTLE ARM VERY VIOLENT EPISODES

    1. A three year old does not have any decision making abilities as far as which parent or who his custodial parent should be. However, if there is abuse going on and the situation is uncomfortable for him, you should file a petition in court and ask for a Guardian Ad Litem (a lawyer specifically only for the child’s best interests) to be involved. They will interview the child and all parties involved and make a decision as to what is best for the child. Doing so immediately is important.

  88. Hi my name is matthew and my son is 5 years old and living with his mother here in the same state of Arkansas. I want to get full custody of my son asap. His mother has another kid by her boyfriend and they are living together in the same house. Her boyfriend just got arrested for paying for sex to another male that just happened to be an undercover cop. After that I told her I didn’t want him around my son anymore. Thought he has never hurt my son i still don’t want him there. She told me that he was no longer living there because of him getting arrested and I droped him off one night after this and he was not there well ten minutes later he come back to the house. i was parked around the corner just to see if she was lieing to me and sure enough she was. What can I do with this situation in order to get my son to live with me all the time? Please Please Please help me. Im also afraid that if i call HUD and tell them that he has and still is living there that she will lose it and move off to California with him and Ill never see him again.

    1. Get an attorney asap. It is a tough situation. If you file and have proof that he is still living there (hiring a Private Investigator to take pictures and document things properly), and you file a Complaint for Parentage and a Petition for Temporary and Permanent Custody and/or Visitation, she will not be able to take your son to California. She will have to stay where she is or be held in contempt and the court will send someone to arrest her for kidnapping if she were to flee the state. Get started immediately, get help, don’t give up!

  89. My 10 month son is biologically not mine, however we both signed the affidavit and I signed the birth certificate. He has been primarily living with me since birth I have provided both physical and financial support since day one. However now that his mother and I have broken up she is trying to take him and keep him from me. Although paternity says he’s not mine can I do anything so I don’t loose my son? What are my rights?

    1. This is tough. In some states, because you have signed a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity and the birth certificate, you are on the hook for things such as child support even if your ex claims the baby is not yours. Speak with a lawyer, there are too many details that matter to discuss via a this message board. Good luck, and don’t waste any time–time is of the essence.

  90. I’ve been married for 2 years. However, my wife has been living a double-life (she parties, stays out until various times in the morning, and abuses marijuana and alcohol). I feel it’s unhealthy for me and our kids (we have a daughter and she has a son with another gentleman). She has physically attacked me twice (I didn’t report it because I decided to stay with her and work things out for the sake of our children not having to experience a broken family). I decided that I didn’t want to put up with it any longer yesterday, so I moved out along with our daughter (I’m more consistent with our daughter and long to raise her in the proper upbringing for her future benefit).
    I called the police and had them meet me at her apartment so I could gather my belongings safely and in peace (she has threatened my life, so I wanted to handle things peaceably and safely as possible). She has been sending me text messages to convince me to come back “home”, but I do not feel safe there at all. I want to move on with my life and raise my daughter to respect men and her elders (which is something my wife struggles with, hence the reason I no longer wish to be with her).
    I am employed, and am looking for an apartment for my daughter and I.
    What are some things I can do legally to secure a better position of gaining complete custody over my daughter?
    *I grew up without a father or mother (my grandmother raised me), so I don’t ever want to be separated from my Booter. I love her so much and want to raise her right. I didn’t know her mother was like the way she is when I first met her. Please help me with my situation…
    Thank you!

    1. Whenever the safety of a person is involved, we are compelled to tell you to immediately contact both the police and an attorney immediately. If your child is with you, you stand a much better chance at gaining custody legal custody in court. Keep in mind, that if you leave your child with the other spouse, the courts will not look kindly on that. Contact us immediately and get a free custody consultation.

  91. My name is Art I am a non-custodial parent of 2 children. My son is 12 yrs old and my daughter is 6 yrs old. I’m in the process of a divorce and also in a battle of fighting for custody of my 2 childrens. I have court orders from San Diego and Long Beach Superior Courts. Both granted my visitation and the mother and her live in boyfriend have kept them from seeing me there father for 13 months. Finally I was able to to my kids this past Verteran’s weekend. November 2012. She also tried to cut the visit short which I didnt let happen. This situation should only be between myself, the mother and our kids. In this case thats not happening. My soon to be ex wife is allowing her finace interferred. I ask him nicely not to interferred he choose not to coperate and it has cause alot of friction. He not allowing to let me speak to my kids when I called and the mother is making allegations against my fiance which already been proven by the Child social services from San Diego and Long Beach, have been dismissed and unfounded. And my fiance still can not have any type of contact with my children. Because of the mother constant lies. She had a case in San Diego which I did participate went to all court dates which the mother did not go to the last court date. I did go was told my the family facililator to go back to Long Beach Court and continued your case that I had started. I have a Mediation on Dec 13 and court date to see the judge on Dec 17. In the mean time Im going by the San Diego Court orders and the mother is constantly trying to not let me have any communications with my children and now also her live in partner wont let me speak with my kids on the phone. What should I do. I want custody of my children, they both want to move with me especially my son and my daughter have said many times how much she misses being with my fiance. Both of my children have told me that they are afraid of there mother. Im trying to do everything by the book and just need a little direction in what else can I do that I already haven’t. Help!!!

    1. Hello Art. This is a difficult situation to find yourself in. When one parent is untruthful in front of the judge, it makes it difficult for you to try to ask for things to be done for your needs because you are constantly put on the offensive. Custody battles are difficult, and, even though they are expensive, a California custody attorney is something that you may need to fight for your father’s rights. You only get one chance at this–don’t blow it. One thing that we often tell people is that you must be able to show a private mediator/Guardian Ad Litem that you and your home are a better environment for your children and that they want to stay with you. Of course, just because a child says they want to stay with one parent over the other does not mean that that is how a judge will rule, but it is a factor that they will take into account if mentioned by the outside counselor. Petitioning the court for mediation, as you did for December 13, is important. Keep in mind that if you have a California custody attorney on your side, chances are they will know the mediator and will be able to speak with them briefly to lay out the facts and help set you on the path to getting your father’s custody rights.

  92. The father of my baby, is in an out of his mothers home, she drinks quite often and also the father has a pill habit, he says he is ain’t but he still is, And I don’t feel comfortable with my baby over at his mothers house. I want to know how I can keep the vistations to at my house.
    And how I can get legal proof that my son’s father is sober.
    Because my baby deserves 2 healthy parents that are doing what they have to do to help make a way for him. He is a blessing to me and I want my babys father to either see him as a blessing and clean up and stay sober or leave us alone. His habit is secretly but I know how he is when he is on them and he still is doing them, not as much as he use to before baby, but he still is doing them.

    1. An expert custody and visitation attorney will know how to force a drug test on this individual to prove that they are sober or take actions against them if they are under the influence of drugs. One important thing that you can and should look into is bringing in a guardian ad litem who will represent the interests of your children. This way, they will have an independent person that will see this bad behavior and side with you! Good luck!

  93. Ok so my question is…..me and my baby mama are not married. But we live under the same roof with my parents. I need to know what my rights are. Im not allowed to take my son anywhere at all. She tells me i have no rights what so ever. I dont know what to do…..can you please help?

    1. You have rights! Father’s rights are gaining acceptance nationwide and are now recognized as being as important as a mother’s rights! The first step is going to court to establish parentage over the child, this is where you are given legal rights as your child’s biological father. Then, the next step would be establishing your rights to have custody over your child. This is where you need to call on friends and family for help–because only a father’s rights attorney can fight for you here–you only get one chance at this, get the help you deserve.

  94. Mly exgirlfried just gave birth yesterday. The hospital wont let me see my twins unless she calls and approves it. She refuses to do so. What can I do see them? Secondly she is giving them up for adoption, before I get an attorney (because I cant wait till they get adopted any minute now) what can I do? How can I stop this?? Please dont say get an attorney because I have to go through legal aid and it may take a while, I cannot afford your lawyers. Please let me know as much as you can. I feel I should be able to see my Daughters. Thank you!

    1. I know this is not the answer you want, you want advice on how to defeat the adoption and get things in place immediately. Honestly, the only way you will be able to do this is with an attorney, you need to ask friends and family for help or work out a payment plan with a lawyer who can immediately file your case. An example of what an attorney might do includes: filing a “complaint for parentage” or a “petition to establish a father and child relationship” wit your local court. Another item that is typically filed in this instance would be a motion for an emergency injunction to stop the adoption, this would be an emergency motion to stop the adoption process and establish yourself as the father via DNA test or otherwise. This, of course, is the basic process by which this is done, but since we do not offer legal advice, and do not know what state you reside in, we cannot accurately provide details for your case–that is what a lawyer can do for you, and we can connect you with one for free. Good luck, and check out your local counties clerk of court website for forms to fill out to get started on this immediately.

  95. HI,
    I know that Fathers are important in a childsl ive. However in my situation i find it favorable that the Father(s) are not involved for the simple fact that My husband has and is raising my children since they were little. I know that one father understands the situation and actually is ok with not being around our sons live. However i recently had a baby and im unsure as to what actions her Father will be taking. I honestly dont want him to take her from us as she is a newborn and he oubts she is his daughter. My husband Loves her to death and fears that Her father will show up and want to take her from us.My husband wants to give my daughter his last name (she currently has my last name )and of course look into adopting her. What can or should we do? What advise do you give us?

    1. Best advice? Contact an attorney on this site immediately. Seriously, if you want to attempt at approaching having your husband adopt this child, you will need an attorney to negotiate and handle things properly. This is very fragile ground, and if you do not approach it the right way, it could blow up in your face. Good luck!

  96. I am a mother of a 6 yr old & got a divorce in 2010. my ex-husband moved to so. Ca. in sept of 2009 (5 hr drive) and has not made much of an effort to return to visit our daughter. In the last 9 months he has seen her twice for a weekend visit and only came here to NoCal only once. What is the law requirement of meeting him halfway for visits? Am I obligated to travel so he can see her or does he have to travel here where she has lived and where we were established for 10 years of our marriage? Our divorce papers say reasonable visitation and I have primary physical custody of our daughter. He threatens me that he should be able to see her every other week (which Im ok with) but he insists that I need to meet him half way, which will then incur more costs for me. What is usually required? Would a judge actually force visitation every other week with him living so far? She is in school and has a life here which by his choice doesnt really involve him much.

    1. Only a local attorney can provide you with the exact options for your situation, since much more detail will be needed, including a review of your parenting agreement and the relevant court orders. Contact one now through our site and start the process today. In most states, reasonable visitation is coupled with the primary wording for travel to facilitate that visitation: “reasonable.” Most judges would probably agree that forcing you to drive hours from your home with the children multiple times a month to hand over and pick up the children for his visitation time is NOT reasonable. He is the one who moved far away, and most parenting agreements, when drafted by an attorney, specifically call for a radius of that visitation and which party is responsible for the travel necessary for the visitation time periods. Speak to an attorney, you may need a new parenting agreement put together amending the visitation schedule and who picks up and drops off; but most states, because of his far distance, should and normally will place the burden on him since he is the one that moved so far away.

  97. My ex wife filed a child support court hearing requesting i go to jail for 87,000 in child support she says i havent paid. We signed a paper that stoped the child support when we got back together, but in 2008 we went our separate ways. I had been sending her money and paying bills, car payment, car insurance, light, rent, etc. IThe main problem I have is that when I sent the money it was through Money Grahm and i didnt keep the receipts. Is there any way I can fight this? My job has slowed down so I dont really have the money for a lawyer.

    1. This is not good. If you do not have receipts, many times, the court will treat your payment as never having taken place. It will be your word against hers. However, in some states, they will not let the residential parent collect back support farther back than the date initially filed, if that same residential parent knew where you lived and was able to file for support but simply did not. I’m sorry, but you need an attorney here. If you think the small amount of money an attorney charges is a big deal, what about the $87,000.00 she is going after you for?! Get family or friends to help you out and get started by contacting an attorney now.

    1. yes you can get a continuance on a child support case in many instances. However, if a judge has ordered you to provide specific financial details and you have not done so, you may be in a little trouble. Get your things in order,m hire an attorney, and fight what you can.

  98. How do i stop my babies momma from taking the kids away from me? She is saying that she wants to move down to Mississippi. We live in Wisconsin. Is there a way I can stop her from taking our kids away from me?

    1. Call an attorney on this site immediately. If she leaves town, the only way you will be able to get her back is by filing emergency motions, and by that time, it may be too late. The only way to stop her from leaving town is to immediately file a complaint for parentage and a petition for custody and/or visitation. This will force her to stay here with the children, but caution must be taken–if you try to do it alone and fail, she will skip town and then you will be fighting an almost impossible battle. Get a lawyer now, do not play games with this, it is serious, and you must act quickly! All of our attorneys in Wisconsin are able to handle this type of situation for you, contact us and fight for your father’s rights now!

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