Divorce is a time of enormous changes and when children are involved, these changes tend to be more severe. Drafting a visitation agreement is difficult but adhering to it can be downright painful, especially in the beginning. Whether one parent has primary custody or ex-spouses share custody of their children, times when the children are visiting the other parent can be very difficult to handle. Its true, coping with overnight visitation away from your kids can be extremely painful and difficult. Speaking with an experienced custody attorney will help soften the blow by laying out your rights.
Though every parent enjoys having some time to themselves, adults can also feel lost when their children are not staying with them. Every member of the family has some difficulty becoming comfortable with the new schedule, so patience and flexibility are required by all. The most difficult aspect of the parenting plan is usually the child visitation schedule.
There is no correct way to react to a visitation arrangement and many parents experience a wide range of overwhelming emotions, especially when it comes to dealing with overnight visitation away from your children. Each adult should take time to handle the situation in his or her own way, accepting the emotions and dealing with these as best as possible. Some emotions that surface, such as negative feelings about an ex or excitement about having alone time, can lead to guilt, which is perfectly normal. do not beat yourself up over this; in a normal relationship, the other parent is there to take some of the burden off raising the kids full-time, and overnight visitation away from your kids is something that is necessary.
Some parents even feel resentful or angry toward their children because the youngsters have fun with the other parent, make the situation difficult, or express no worry about leaving for a while. Having these feelings does not mean that the parent is bad. The key is to accept them and work through them in a healthy way. Parents who cannot seem to come to terms with the visitation agreement should get professional help from a therapist. Overnight visitation can be even more difficult to deal with, because the other parent may be able to plan fun activities all the time since their parenting time is only every once in awhile.
It can be very helpful for divorced parents to have someone to share their thoughts and feelings with and receive ways of working through problems and discovering solutions in exchange. Taking each day as it comes prevents parents from feeling overwhelmed and makes it easier to cope with these overnight visitation periods. The adults should shift their focus away from resentment and anger to what they can do to move forward and make it through the day in a positive manner.
There will be days when a parent misses children who are visiting with their other parent. During these times, thoughts should turn to how the arrangement is healthy and important for the children. Parents can find things to distract themselves while children are staying with their exes. They can even email, text, or call their children as long as they keep the conversation lighthearted. Remembering that overnight visitation away from your kids is both healthy for them and you is an important step in coping with life change. Speaking with a child visitation or child custody attorney is important to make sure that any agreement drafted meets your needs.