Anger is an extreme emotion that often hides under other feelings. It is common for someone to feel hurt and disappointed during and after a divorce. Many people even experience the various stages of grief. These emotions may seem very different but they usually have a common foundation: anger. Learning how to deal with anger effectively can help a couple divorce without fighting.
There is nothing wrong with feeling angry when ending a marriage. Anger may linger long after the divorce is finalized. This emotion is legitimate and should be dealt with head-on. Suppressing or avoiding angry feelings can lead to bigger problems such as depression. Take time to think about why you are angry and learn to express the feelings in non-harmful ways, seeking professional guidance when necessary.
Women may have a particularly difficult time dealing with divorce-related anger. Female stereotypes reinforce being nice and avoiding conflict. However, even the most agreeable woman may get angry during a divorce. Women should recognize that anger is a healthy emotion and learn ways to deal with these thoughts and feelings. If they want to divorce without a fight, they may need to rely on friends, family, and counselors for emotional support.
When expressing anger, many people worry they will lose control. They avoid letting their angry feelings surface because they think they will not be able to control the outcome. This is an unfounded fear, so go ahead and vent angry feelings in a safe environment. Find an outlet for these emotions by going for a run, taking up boxing, or screaming in an empty room. Just keep safety in mind when looking for a mode of expression for the anger.
If it becomes difficult to deal with the reasons for angry feelings, stress may be the culprit. Anger may be an expression of stress so explore relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga. Talk to a professional if anger worsens or persists over the long-term. Working through anger is a prerequisite to moving on with life as a single person.
Most people who feel angry are entitled to without being ashamed or embarrassed. Experience the full range of emotions associated with divorce. Anger may even surface during an agreed divorce, triggered by property distribution or child custody discussions. Express this emotion without fearing what others will think. An experienced divorce attorney has heard it all and can help a client channel anger into a productive discussion.