Divorce is always a stressful upsetting time in any person life, but an agreed divorce can make it easier on everyone involved. But it does not need to be as nasty as so many are if you follow a few simple rules. The most important things to remember when trying to divorce amicably and by agreement are that you need to find common ground, respect each other, and work towards a solution—together. Only an attorney skilled in divorce can give you a true idea of whether your situation can be worked out amicably.
Finding Common Ground to Have an Agreed Divorce
This is not easy to do for many people because of the simple fact that the two of you no longer agree on many core issues which is the reason you two are getting divorced to begin with. But, finding common ground is where you both can benefit across all aspects of your divorce, compromise is important. An agreed divorce only happens when both parties decide to put down their swords and work together to end their marriage amicably.
Many couples may have accumulated marital property that needs to be divided between the parties. Allowing your spouse to make a list of the property that they believe they should walk away with and why. When multiple pieces of property overlap on each spouses spreadsheet, a good approach is to attempt trading properties like you would if you were playing Monopoly. Being the first to give often shows your spouse you are willing to compromise and will help get them to compromise in return. Compromise is an essential part of having an agreed divorce work for you and your spouse.
When it comes to children, each party needs to tread carefully. Deciding what is best for your children and not what you necessarily want (if they are different things) is the way to approach this issue. Keep in mind that just because your spouse might end up as the custodial/residential parent does not mean that you won’t be able to see your kids close to 50% of the time! Staying calm through these discussions is essential.
Getting an Agreed Divorce Requires Mutual Respect
No one said it better than Aretha—R-E-S-P-E-C-T; but this is the most important thing to keep in mind when divorcing by agreement. By showing your spouse respect for their wishes and needs regarding the divorce (even though you may no longer respect them) takes the fight out of the divorce process, oftentimes allowing you to work together towards a common goal. Remember that both of you are hurting, and respect the process that you are going through as well as each other’s feelings.
Agreed Divorce Means Working Together – One Last time
Chances are if you were married, you’ve worked together with your spouse on any number of issues from raising a child to purchasing property or real estate. This is one more time you need to work together and leave the relationship on a positive note, even though the marriage is ending. If attempting to have an agreed divorce, working together means combining all the tools that life has given you: strength, resolve, and most important, compromise. One thing we often hear from couples that have divorced by agreement is that, even though the relationship is over, they were able to go out by working together for the benefit of each other, and that’s a positive result. an agreed, or no fault divorce, is possible if you work hard towards the common goal of splitting up without going after each others jugulars.
By following these steps, you can work towards divorcing by agreement. Don’t think this means that you don’t need any family law help because you are attempting to have an agreed divorce—there is no substitute for an experienced attorney. But, these tips could save you time, money and heartache, and help you move on to the next rewarding chapter in your life.