It is bad enough when you realize your marriage is over, but it is only made worse when your spouse refuses to agree to divorce. This presents a challenge, but you are still able to file for divorce, albeit a contested divorce. You will need to consult with an attorney for contested divorce help so you can explore all options available to you.
Prior to going to the attorney, you may want to research the types of divorce available in your state. In addition to gaining some much-needed knowledge, it will also help you vett out attorneys during the interviewing process.
Take a look at your specific situation. Are you considering divorce because of a cheating spouse, abuse, or have you just grown apart? Choosing a “no fault” alleviates the ability of the spouse to delay the action, whereas she would have the opportunity to disprove fault, such as cheating or abuse.
It may also be worth it to sit down and have an “honest” chat with your wife about why she does not want to go through with the divorce. It is quite understandable that she may be in denial and thinks that if you just try harder, everything can be worked out. Or, if there are children involved, perhaps she is only looking to extend the marriage to protect the children.
If this is the case, you will need to convince her that you will still be involved in the children’s lives as well as supporting the care of the children. While it may not be the ideal solution, finding accommodations in the same area that would enable the kids to attend the same school and have more time with you may be something that you want to investigate. Basically, you need to show understanding of her concerns but still insist that the marriage itself is over.
Now it is time to consult with a divorce attorney. You can lay down the facts to him or her and he or she will advise you on the best possible course to have the marriage dissolved as quickly as possible. Keep in mind, though, that some states do require a “separation” period before the divorce can be finalized. In the example we used above, this is actually a good time to prove the commitment to your children and her concerns. Following through on all of your promises may help lead to a quick ending and allow you to avoid a long and hard fought contested divorce.
