The marriage is over and you both know it. You also know divorces can be expensive, hurtful, and drawn out. One single point can be enough to cause all out war between the divorcing couple. This benefits no one as one or both parties can be both mentally and physically affected by such a case. If communication lines are still open, it is best to try to divorce without a fight for everyone concerned.
The Children Have to Come First
When children are part of the equation in a divorce, both parents really need to make their needs secondary. There are plenty of studies showing how damaging growing up in a household of parents constantly arguing affects them later in life. The same can be said when parents are arguing during a divorce when mom or dad come to pick up the kids for their time. At the very least, be civil around the children and do not slander the other parent when the kids are spending time with you.
Settle Disputes before Divorce Court
If the couple is able to keep communication lines open after they split, it will make the divorce much easier. Be it through a mediator, divorce attorneys, or personal discussions, much of the property can be split and divided without involving the courts. The final agreement can be drawn up by your divorce attorney and included in the suit.
It is best to disburse any assets in complete agreement at first. For instance, he wants the boat and car and she gets to keep the home. Each person can make a list of the assets they absolutely want and then compare the list to their soon-to-be ex spouse. If there are common items, try to come to some agreement.
Child custody is always a major point in any divorce. First, the parents will have to agree on the primary residence of the children. Keep in mind that the other parent will then be required to pay child support. Being able to work out this point alone will often make a divorce much easier on both sides rather than dragging everyone, including the children, into court.
You should also look for the children’s input to finalize this decision to make the transition as easy as possible on them. However, do not make them feel as though they are being forced to choose sides. You simply want them to be happy and want to know where they would prefer to live. If the parents agree to go this route, you cannot change your mind halfway through the process because the children did not make the decision you though they would.
Divorcing someone is a difficult time, but it does not have to get ugly. Consult with your divorce lawyer and lay out a strategy to make the divorce as easy as possible on all involved. As long as you keep the lines of communication open and are willing to make concessions (both parties), you can divorce without a fight and begin the next segment of your life.