When a couple is contemplating filing for divorce, they often question whether or not this decision is the best choice for themselves and their family, specifically if they really want to end their marriage and also if the harm of a divorce is worth the toll it inevitably takes on any children they have and other loved ones. Even though children in marriages are often victims when their parents divorce, it is often hard for the couple to see outside the scope of their own needs and desires to see the effects divorce truly has.
“Stay together for the children” is a phrase we have all heard, but when parents are unhappy in their relationship or have severe dysfunction in their marriage, is it really in the children’s best interests for them to remain together? Often times, this question is a complicated and difficult one for parents to contemplate, and the decision to stay together or end their marriage is often more of a personal decision than a legal one.
Is Divorce the Right Decision for You and Your Family?
Some argue that remaining in a marriage, even if it is unhappy and dysfunctional, helps show children the importance of commitment and that family is the most important thing in life despite what problems they have. On the other hand, when parents remain married for a long period of time and then finally divorce, they often hear their children say, “what took you so long?” Regardless of how parents feel, it is important to remember that children are both insightful and resilient and often have a much fuller understanding of what divorce is and why it happens than many parents realize.
For parents who are contemplating divorce, there are often many factors they need to consider. For example, if there is an abundance of arguing and anger within the marriage, is it worth exposing the children to this type of environment just to keep the family together? Should the parents decide to go through with the divorce, are they able to get along well enough to provide the children with a happy and loving upbringing, even if the parents are not under the same roof anymore?
Since so many of these considerations are more personal decisions than legal ones, it is important for parents to know there are a number of resources available if they need assistance making a decision regarding divorce. Family law attorneys, mediators, and therapists are all viable resources to help parents make the right decision for themselves and their families when it comes to divorce.