Increasing Your Chance of Winning Custody During Divorce
The primary goal in every child custody case is an arrangement that is in the best interests of the child.

When going through a divorce, parents must determine with whom their minor children will live and who will make critical child-rearing decisions. If divorcing parents cannot make these decisions, they take the issue to court. A family court judge considers several factors when determining child custody during divorce. Understanding how the legal system works and getting child custody help from an expert can increase the chance of winning custody.

The primary goal in every child custody case is an arrangement that is in the best interests of the child. A judge must decide on both physical and legal custody, resulting in many potential outcomes. While it is possible to win sole custody in divorce, more parents find themselves getting joint custody. This allows each parent to maintain a physical presence and making important decisions regarding their children’s future.

A safe living environment that includes necessary amenities is important, so a parent seeking custody should create this, whether remaining in the marital home or moving to a different residence. If possible, the parent should find a home in the school district the child attended before the divorce because this maintains stability. If the parent must change jobs, the work schedule should accommodate the daily routine of the child.

Stability Is Important

Stability should also be the focus with personal relationships. A parent trying to win custody during divorce should not quickly begin a new relationship that involves cohabitating or spending excessive time together. Instead, the adult should take time to adjust to the new single lifestyle and focus on the needs of each child. There will be plenty of time in the future to resume dating.

Most spouses disagree at some point during a divorce but they should try to avoid a custody battle at all costs. A parent who puts the needs of the children above all other issues and keeps children away from disagreements that arise is more likely to receive custody. Taking this one step further, a parent who does not stand in the way of the other parent’s attempts to win custody is viewed in the most favorable light.

Divorcing spouses are not expected to be legal experts, so they should not hesitate to get child custody help from a family law attorney. Affordable attorneys who specialize in family law are available in every state. Having this type of representation makes it easier to win child custody during divorce because the lawyer facilitates negotiations and prepares documents required by the court.

11 thoughts on “Increasing Your Chance of Winning Custody During Divorce”

  1. My wife and I have not yet divorced but our relationship has deteriorated significantly over the past 2 years, and I don’t have a lot of faith in the direction we’re headed. My main concern is that my child was born in Japan and is a dual citizen of both Japan and the US. We’ve lived in the US now for over three years. My child started school here, has a stable and loving home, friends, is surrounded by family and barely even remembers any Japanese. My wife has begun hinting that she thinks we should consider moving back to Japan. Our child doesn’t want to and neither do I as it goes against all the plans we had made and will once again reset all the work we’ve accomplished in rebuilding our life from scratch here. My wife is a stay at home mom, but is very controlling and has verbal and emotionally abusive tendencies. As an adult, I can weather this for our child’s sake, but I do fear for the kid’s emotional well-being while in her care. I am also fearful of doing anything that might upset her, possibly resulting in the sudden abduction of our child back to Japan. Japan’s family law situation is notoriously unfair, and in the case of a non-Japanese father like myself, a simple “trip” back to see relatives, could result in me getting cut off from them permanently. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I want my child to have access to their mother, but I would also like them protected in the event my wife takes things to the extreme. Is a future divorce and ensuing custody battle my only option? If so, what would my chances be that I wouldn’t be awarded sole custody. It seems to me that allowing her any more basic supervised visitation rights would leave the door open to an international kidnapping incident.

  2. Raymond Thomas Jr

    I have been divorced for 5 years almost and we agreed no support or alimony either way and the 3 kids were to 50/50 physical and legal custody with us sharing days as we decided. In the start of divorce I made sure to have a noterized signed agreement put into place asking for the kids to remain out of F.O.C. system and that we each had the same physical n legal custody of the kids. The FOC was all on board and ok with ex and I working out a agreement and since neither parent could receive state assistance due to income levels too high, no one was to pay child support. All was fine for about 11 months til divorce was finalized and then I received a paper stating if she made this amount “0000” and I made this amount “0000” with 3 kids staying 1 night a WK with Dad then Dad has to pay 271 a month. No where on this paperwork does it state that starting that day I was supposed to b paying $271 a month to ex-wife. So no due date and being I knew I had signed off on all assets so I kept my legal n physical custody 50/50 I never did anything. Well about 2 months after divorce goes final I get arrested for non payment of child support with rearages totalling 2500 or more.i talk to judge and all the FOC agents asking why they are not going off the divorce decree or even the initial agreement where we asked for kids to b removed from the system. After many months and no answers I had lost my divorce decree and the FOC stated kids were receiving state assistance which I demanded to see the proof of the kids or exwife receiving assistance and after the second time being arrested in a year upon paying to b released they were not able to show the proofs. After many court dates where same judge who signed divorce decree told FOC to do a support review and make sure all our income n overnight info was correct…

    1. There are a few confusing issues here in your post, but I will try to answer as best as I can given the conflicting facts and scenarios here.

      It sounds as though you do have a parenting plan (also known as a custody judgment or an allocation judgment) in place with your judgment for dissolution of marriage (divorce decree). You also stated that you and your ex-wife signed some type of notarized document prior to this as well; whether it was entered in court as a court order or something outside of court the two of you agreed on, I am unsure.
      In any event, it doesn’t matter too much what the notarized document stated, because the parenting plan/divorce decree that was subsequently entered by the judge would control and override it whether it was entered in court as a preliminary / prior order or not. Please note: if something is signed and notarized outside of court and it is NOT entered and signed by the judge, it means nothing. It is not enforceable and isn’t worth the paper it was written on. Always keep that in mind. If not entered by a judge as a court order, it is worthless (with rare exception).

      Get a copy of the judgement for dissolution. You may have lost it, but you should be able to easily either call the courthouse or show up there and request the file and copy it yourself. There will likely be a small fee for that. Get it, so you can see exactly what it states as far as the parenting plan is considered.

      You need to see exactly what the divorce judgment states within the parenting plan. It might say 50/50 custody, but it also could say something different. My guess is that it says something different. And this would mean that yes, you have to pay child support if the State decides to pursue it or if the mother decides to pursue it. And whenever a parent is receiving some type of aid, the parent that is supposed to pay support has to make payment because of that. Many times, a parent cannot get assistance if there is not a child support enforcement in place as well, so that could be the case. And when you say that she is not getting any support from the state, are you 100% positive? Because support is NOT necessarily food stamps or housing. The kids could be receiving a medical card / medicaid, is that the case? In most states, if a person earns $65k/year and has 3-kids, they will qualify for Medicaid medical cards for the minor children – so be sure to see if that is the case here. If it is, there you go – the state wants some of their money back and a child support order in place.

      Finally, if a court order (judgment for dissolution of marriage or Order entered after that modifying parenting time between you both) is entered that does not state it is a 50/50 arrangement (you stated its almost 50/50, but not quite), then the child support calculations will, in most states, end with you paying some type of support. And again, if the state is involved, they want their money back, so they will enforce it. As far as disability is concerned, they can use that number to calculate support as well, and in many instances, if they believe that you are earning income outside of that, even for part-time or something else, they are allowed to “impute” income to you. An example would be this: a man earns $10/hour and works 25-hours a week. do we calculate support based on his $250/week income? Probably not. The way that many attorneys (or the state for that matter) would pursue it would be to say that you should be working 40-hours a week, or get a second job and work 40-hours a week So we would “impute” your income to be at 40-hours/week and do the calculation of child support with you at $400/week, even though that isn’t what is ACTUALLY happening.

      To summarize: 1. Get a copy of all court orders and divorce judgment; 2. see what the parenting plan ACTUALLY is; 3. find out if the state is providing a medical card or anything to the kids or if they have EVER done so; 4. look at your income and see if they are imputing income from any source for the calculation. Then, you most likely need to hire an experienced child support attorney because you need an unbiased source that has not gotten on the states bad side to advocate for you. Best of luck.

    1. Give us a call, one of our professionals can help go over our situation and lay out what is needed, how best to approach the situation, and your best course of action. Child custody and support in many instances are connected matters, in that the number of overnights/days with a parent might have a determination as to how much, if any, child support should be paid.
      It is essential to take notes, daily, on what you do with the kids, how you interact, who take them to and from school, activities, doctor appointments, etc. Daily notes, nothing huge, but short bullet points so that it can be explained quickly to a judge.
      Remember, judges do not know you, and they will probably only deal with you or your lawyer for 5-10 minutes at a given court date, so everything needs to be crystal clear, with dates, times, events, and documentation proving your claims.
      Judges will not listen to anyone, even a lawyer, ramble on about things – they want it buttoned up, nice and neat, and organized.
      Give us a call right away.

  3. I have a situation where i have tried really hard over the past 5 years to get my son’s father to have anything to do with him.   
         My ex would go 1 to 2 years without seeing or calling his son. My ex also has admitted it is more important to have his girlfriend in his life then it was then for my baby boy. I have left it up to my son who is 9 yrs old if he wants to see his dad or not. And he finally just made the choice on our way home thag he never wants see his dad. That is not a decision i will make for him nor will say or do anything to alterter his mind. I am a firm believer that a child should have full access to his both parents whenever they want. However my ex never shows up to see him or even call him. But i still left it where  my ex could see my son whenever he wanted. it hurts me to have put a stop to it I wish i would have been given the decision if i got to meet my dad or not, but my mother refused and all his information died with her.  My ex has had a open invitation for 5 years to see him when ever he wanted And he has done nothing but hurt my son and has caused him to have alot of emotional and mental problems. So i am filing full custody on Wednesday. What do think my chance are of winning full custody.

  4. I have a difficult situation. My husband is a narcissist and pathological liar. He hired an attorney and suddenly began calling police claiming I assaulted him. He moved all bank account to his own private accounts. I was a stay at home mom since the birth of our first son. (3) he was able to get a restraining order and destroyed any information I could use in my defense. I still have recordings on my phone proving he is the violent abuser. However he has gone to CPS, the DA. Local police, schools, etc completely destroying my reputation, credibility,and character with false information and lies. The Family Justice Center refused to talk to me because HE is the victim. He’s destroyed my credit, refusing to pay bills in my name, now in legal proceedings. He recently stole all my information and personal mail and documents including my birth certificate, social security card, everything I had left. He has done anything he could to prevent me from fighting back. I don’t know where to go for help anymore. Please help me?

  5. I’m on disability and can’t afford attorney the people that was watching my daughter let her go outside by herself and social services took her not to mention they didntbgo to jail and charges have been dropped I would like to sue for emoitional distress and the pain they have caused me my daughter as well as flared up my pstd

  6. I’m on disability and can’t afford attorney the people that was watching my daughter let her go outside by herself and social services took her not to mention they didntbgo to jail and charges have been dropped I would like to sue for emoitional distress and the pain they have caused me my daughter as well as flared up my pstd

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