Tips to Help You Win in Your Divorce Case
Divorce is a very difficult thing for anyone, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the situation. While many view divorce as a lose-lose situation for the couple, there are often many hurtful things that occur leading up to ending the marriage including cheating, lying, abuse, and other situations. In some cases, the divorce proceedings go smoothly and couples can divorce without fighting. But, if you are in a situation where you feel you need to win your divorce case, here are some tips to make that happen.
Assemble a Great Team
What some divorcing couples may not realize is what happens during their divorce proceedings can often have a profound influence on the rest of their lives – if the case does not go well, it could mean losing their children, being robbed of financial security, and losing the right to live in their home. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the divorce, every divorcing spouse should seek the counsel of a team of professionals who can help them understand the process and make the best decisions for their future.
The first, and arguably most important, member of your divorce team is your attorney. If you do not already have an attorney you have worked with in the past, finding an attorney can sometimes be an overwhelming process. First, look for attorneys who have experience or specialized in divorce and make sure to have consultations with a few different candidates. Once you have found a divorce lawyer who has the professional background you are looking for, also consider choosing someone who meshes well with your personality – this can often help to ease the anxiety that going through a divorce can bring.
While having a great attorney is an important part of your divorce team, it may also be beneficial to add a financial planner specializing in divorce to the roster. A financial planner and your attorney will work hand-in-hand to evaluate your financial situation and the possible outcomes you may face after the divorce is finalized. Those who may be facing paying spousal support or child support can often use the help of both their attorney and financial planner to find out what the impacts of the divorce may be and what both the long term and short term outcomes and impacts the divorce can have on your wallet.
The final member of your team that should be considered is a good therapist. This can be very helpful in managing your emotions and anger during the divorce proceedings and helping to keep those, sometimes negative, emotions out of the courtroom and help you to make decisions about your future without having your emotions involved. Additionally, if there are children in the marriage, a good therapist can help to prepare them and walk them through the changes they will be going through when their parents are divorced. It is important to make your emotional and mental health a priority.
Gather Your Assets
In some cases, the anger and emotions a divorce brings can lead ex-spouses to do some crazy things with their money – hiding assets, over-spending, and racking up credit card debts are all known to happen during a divorce. In order to protect your assets, it is a very good idea to inventory the assets that you possess. Always keep good records of your assets and finances, making sure to collect all of your financial documents in one place for safe keeping and easy access during the divorce proceedings. These documents include several years of credit card bills and tax returns as well as loan and bank statements.
Stay in the Marital Home
If there are children in the marriage, and you expect to remain in the family home and have custody of those children, you should not leave the home during the divorce. Should you leave the family home during this time, it is possible for the court to determine that you have given your ex-spouse “de facto possession” of the residence, which will work against when trying to obtain the home. When children are involved, they should remain in the family home with the same routine they held before the divorce, helping to add a level of comfort and normalcy for them in a time that is often confusing and uncertain.
Be Mindful of What You Say, Text Message, or Post Online
It is important to keep in mind that during the divorce proceedings everything you say, text, or post online can be used against you – whether it is said in the courtroom or not. This is often a problem for ex-spouses who are going through an angry, emotional, and spiteful divorce. In many cases, one or both of the spouses will look for anything and everything they can use to make their ex-spouse seem like a cheater, liar, unfit parent, or just all around bad person in order to make themselves look better.
With this in mind, it is important to be very cautious about what you say about your ex-spouse, including what you say to or in front of your children. Even though you may believe you are confiding your emotions and frustrations in a close friend or trusted relative, it is possible at any time for them to turn around and hand that evidence to your ex-spouse. In order to keep yourself out of trouble in court, do not say anything negative about your ex-spouse to anyone at any time during the proceedings.
It is also important to be mindful of what you post on social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter. These websites have often become the platform for some serious arguments between ex-spouses and it is very easy for one or both of the spouses to take that information and share it in court. Starting arguments on social media can often make you look childish, which will not be appealing to the judge. This is why it is important to not say, text, or post anything negative about your ex-spouse.
Be Smart, Not Emotional
In many divorces, emotions of anger, frustration, and sadness take over and lead one of both of the soon to be ex-spouses to make some unsavory decisions that have a negative impact on both their immediate future and their life years down the line. Divorce is a very emotional and painful process by nature, but it is very important to try and remove your emotions from the process in order to make the best logical and rational decisions for yourself and any children that may be affected by the divorce.
Even with this notion in mind, it can often be difficult for some people to remove their emotions during the divorce process. This is often where the individual’s divorce team comes in – your attorney, financial planner, and therapist can all work together to help lead you to decisions that are not emotionally charged and will make for the best possible outcome for you and your children. Even though it may be painful, putting emotions aside to make decisions is the best possible thing you can do.