Even the most amicable divorce is difficult for both parties to handle and a period of recovery is needed for the mental and physical health of both ex-spouses. There is much emotional stress surrounding a divorce and the stress level is particularly high in contested divorce cases. Most people are feeling angry and depressed after going through a divorce and many of them have trouble functioning on a daily basis. There are plenty of resources available for coping with a divorce, but you must be proactive and approach the healing process in a healthy manner.
Therapy for Divorce Stress
An experienced therapist can make it easier for you to cope and understand the healing process that is needed post-divorce. The challenge is finding divorce therapy help from someone good. Almost anyone can claim to cater to divorcing couples, but far fewer therapists are actually qualified to do this. Online research and referrals from friends and family members should point an ex-spouse in the direction of a good therapist for the situation. Therapy for a divorced couple might involve reflecting on both the positive and negatives that took place during the marriage so that each party can move on with clarity, confidence, and closure.
Divorce Therapy and Children
For a couple with children that is getting divorced or has recently gotten divorced, many significant issues need to be dealt with in a healthy manner. Kids are involved and their lives need to continue to be maintained in a positive atmosphere. Divorcing couples who are co-parenting may want to consider divorce therapy, which focuses on supporting parents raising children during and after divorce. Child custody issues are stressful – and a therapist may be able to help both parents navigate this difficult situation.
There are many different types of therapy for divorcing couples with children; communication therapy – which focuses on the parents communicating in a healthy manner about the children; family therapy – which focuses on healing any hurt, anger, or resentment a child may have toward one or both parents because of the divorce; and co-parenting therapy – which primarily deals with the day to day event planning and working together as a divorced couple to minimize conflict and resolve disagreements in a healthy manner.
Therapy Not Your Thing?
Therapy is not for everyone, but many couples find it very helpful during and after the divorce process. They learn how to move on and live life as individuals rather than a couple. Divorced parents learn to communicate more effectively and work together for the benefit of their children. Some people come to realize a better understanding of the issues that led to their divorce so they can prevent these from reoccurring in future relationships.
But, if you are not into the therapeutic process, there are still many ways to heal and move on from your divorce. Being active in your community, your children’s school events or activities, and living a healthy lifestyle all can contribute to moving on in a positive light.
Healthy Living Instead of Therapy
More than simply eating a salad or going for a random run around the neighborhood (both of which are good for you!), this is more of a lifestyle change. Join a gym or a get involved in a group physical activity (cross training, martial arts, adult sports leagues, etc.). Not only will this allow you to begin living a healthy lifestyle, but it can be a great social experience as well. Studies show that adults that make friendships during athletic related activities have a significantly lower rate of depression than other people.
Can My Divorce Lawyer Help with Stress?
Yes, but in a very different manner. A divorce lawyer will focus on the legal aspects of the divorce and avoid emotional entanglements. This can help streamline the divorce process and make the entire divorce significantly shorter than it otherwise would be. A shorter divorce process usually means less time for anger or resentment and people can work on healing quicker.
From a legal perspective, a divorce lawyer can help couples cope with the situation because of their in-depth knowledge and experience. Many divorce lawyers engage in continuing legal education courses on a yearly basis that help them communicate with their clients. Some of this relies on the lawyer being a good listener and being able to respond to an emotional discussion in a rational and grounded basis.
Healing After Divorce
The divorce and rebuilding processes are often characterized as a “crazy time.” Ex-spouses must understand their feelings, resolve issues, and create new identities. Having a professional therapist available to provide guidance and support can make this process much less difficult. Before long, each person will have established a fulfilling life and will be ready to explore love again. Healing probably also means a lifestyle choice – eat healthy, exercise, and increase those good endorphins rushing through your body as you sweat!
Though divorced couples may never be friendly enough to double-date, making changes that ensure your mental and physical health improves will help them co-exist peacefully for the sake of their children. The skilled divorce help provided by a therapist and divorce lawyer specializing in this situation can make all the difference for a divorcing couple. Divorce is not something most people anticipate, but you can move on and be a better, happier, and healthier person after!