Popular Reasons Why Couples Divorce and How They May be Beneficial for Your Life
It is no secret that divorce rates in the country are very high right now – not only are we hearing about friends and family members ending their relationships, but the headlines are filled with stories of celebrity couples who could not make their marriages work. In many cases, couples work hard to keep their marriage together and usually view divorce as a last resort. Although it may seem like divorce is never a good thing, here are some reasons why divorce may be beneficial for your life.
Some of the top reasons why couples divorce include:
- Financial Difficulties or Conflicts
- Feelings of Being Held Back
- Parenting Style Differences
- Sexual Incompatibility
Reason #1 Why Couples Divorce: Financial Difficulties or Conflicts
Everyone you meet in life will have a different take on how financial matters should be handled – some people believe that money should be saved and spending should be at a minimum while others believe they should spend it while they have it since we can’t take money with us when we die. Often, these conflicts about how financial matters should be handled causes issues within a marriage, especially when bills and debts/bankruptcy begin to pile up and it seems as though the couple has lost control of their money.
When a couple is considering getting divorced and financial problems are their main problem, it is important that they keep in mind the cost of getting divorced. Once all is said and done, both individuals will often feel more in control of their financial life, having the freedom to manage their money the way they see fit. In many cases, how money is handled is a very important aspect of someone’s life, so having the ability to spend and save the way they want to is a great feeling.
Reason #2 Why Couples Divorce: Feelings of Being Held Back
We all have our own aspirations and goals in life, whether it is to have a successful career, continue education, travel the world, or settle down and start a family. Often, when a couple begins to get serious and get married, some of these aspirations end up on the back burner in order to care for the relationship and the family properly. In some cases, not being able to work toward these goals leads to feelings of resentment between spouses, which can lead to increased unhappiness and arguments.
This feeling of being held back will move one of the spouses to leave and file for divorce. When the divorce is complete, that spouse often feels an incredible amount of freedom and excitement – without the relationship “holding them back,” they are able to get back on track perusing their dreams and achieving their goals, helping them to find a sense of self as well as a sense of fulfillment in their lives. This is also an opportunity for each spouse to find someone else who shares their aspirations.
Reason #3 Why Couples Divorce: Parenting Style Differences
As any parent will tell you, having children will definitely change the dynamic of a marriage. Adding in the care and support of children can often leave one or both of the spouses feeling as though they are being neglected. More importantly, some couples have very different ideas of what proper parenting is. When a couple’s parenting styles do not align, it can often cause conflict and resentment between the couple and when it is not resolved, it can often lead to divorce and shared custody of the children.
Regardless if parents are married or not, it is important for the child’s well-being that the parents be on the same page when it comes to raising the child. While each individual may have different thoughts on what good parenting is, divorce may be a great opportunity for them to separate their relationship with each other from the way they parent their child. Mediation is often an important part of any divorce process and using this time with a professional to work out a custody agreement as well as parenting issues can be of great benefit to both the parents as well as the well-being of the child.
Reason #4 Why Couples Divorce: Sexual Incompatibility
While this may be an uncomfortable subject to discuss, sexual compatibility is a very important part of any marriage. Humans, by nature, are sexual beings and having a great intimate relationship with your spouse is an important part of having a strong, loving marriage. In some cases, pressures we feel throughout our lives have a profound effect on our sex lives. Some of these pressures may include:
- Pressure of being married
- Pressure to support spouse/family
- Pressure from a new job
The outside factors that cause an individual to feel personal pressure can have a profound effect on how that individual not only feels about themselves but also about their spouse and about their relationship in general. In some cases, these feelings have a direct effect on their sexual performance with their partner, and when this occurs it can lead to disappointment and resentment.
When couples divorce for this reason, it is often painful for their egos to endure – one spouse will often feel as though they are not good enough for their former spouse or anyone else. The bright side of getting divorced for this reason is that it gives each spouse the opportunity to find themselves again and explore what they may or may not want in a partner with whom they will be sexually intimate. Ultimately, it gives them another opportunity to make sure they are fulfilled in all aspects of their relationship.
Reason #5 Why Couples Divorce: Infidelities
Infidelity is often a very big reason why couples move to get divorced. Any of the reasons we have mentioned could push a spouse to seek comfort or a relationship outside of their marriage and this often leads down a road of pain, disappointment, anger, and resentment for one or both of the spouses. When an infidelity occurs, it is not uncommon for the couple to try and keep their relationship together – even though the cheating spouse may promise it will never happen again and the cheated on spouse promises to leave it in the past, the infidelity will in some way always be present in the relationship.
Divorce due to infidelity is often very liberating for both spouses – the spouse who cheated often feels the freedom to be with whom they wish without feeling any guilt and the cheated on spouse feels liberated by ending a relationship with someone who did not show them or the marriage the respect they deserved. Both individuals will then have the opportunity to seek out new relationships in which they find more fulfilling, helping them to avoid the issue of infidelity arising in their lives again.
While many people may see these reasons as good reasons to consider divorce, there may also be some areas where you and your spouse can communicate more effectively. All of these issues, when handled in their infancy, are often overcome when couples communicate clearly and respectfully about what they think and how they feel. In the end, only you can decide whether or not divorce is right for you.