Marriage is not for everyone but some people do not realize this until they have tied the knot. When it dawns on them that their marriage license has not brought happiness, they hire a divorce lawyer and dissolve the union. This process can be extremely stressful, taking both a physical and emotional toll on both parties. At the same time, divorce can allow each person to grow as an individual, reaching full potential and achieving that previously elusive happiness. This is how divorce can allow a person to grow as an individual.
Divorce is characterized as a process of separation but it is also a time of transformation. Though a couple may be physically and legally separated, they may not have separated emotionally. This emotional change is the foundation for the transformation process. Emotional separation is painful, to say the least. However, it is a time of growth where each person discovers his or her true needs and comes to terms with the fact that the ex-spouse could not meet them.
When the romantic component of a marital relationship comes unwound, mourning usually occurs. Each person resolves internal conflicts and begins to transform into a truly independent individual. Growth occurs when each ex-spouse takes responsibility for his or her part in martial issues rather than continuing to play the blame game. This is when many former couples finally begin to see each other clearly.
Many conflicting emotions surface during a divorce. Aside from fear and stress resulting from a lifestyle change, there are memories of the past and perceived losses of what could have been. Dynamics with family members and friends usually change and the financial picture takes on an entirely new form. There are even losses of identity as a spouse and possibly even a parent.
On the other hand, life after divorce is filled with new things. Each former spouse establishes a separate identity and can use this period as a time of reinvention. This new phase of life is something that no one wishes for but those who receive the legal and psychological divorce help they need are better equipped to handle it. After mourning the loss of the union, they are ready to move on.
Transition and transformation are two important aspects of divorce. Some people classify divorce as a life crisis and in Chinese, the ideogram for this term represents danger and opportunity. The second aspect is a fitting depiction of the new future that divorce holds for many former couples. From something bad comes something good. Most divorce lawyers will let you know that life goes on, and in most instances, in a healthier and happier way.
